Right now I'm laying in bed and listening to Jimmy Eat World. This CD reminds me of being at Buckner and reading Joan of Arc by Mark Twain. I listening to this song in particular over and over again after I found out Jon died. The main phrase of the song is "may angles lead you in..." That week was the train up for infantry week and I was one of the team leaders in my squad. I cried a lot that week, but did it when no one was looking. I didn't tell anyone in my squad or my squad leader about what had happend. All I could think of was that the summer before he'd been a perfectly heathly boy running around and smiling all the time, and now he was gone. I didn't understand. He was so young, so happy, why? Heidi got better, why not him? He was only 14. I don't want to listen to the logic, the truth, the reason.

This CD makes me sad now. Maybe I shouldn't listen to it.