Saturday, February 26, 2005

Happy 100th night weekend. I get to see my parents tomorrow. Yay:)

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Today I have seen God in action. He is amazing. Through everything that has been happening I have been trying to surrender it all to God, praise Him in all circumstances, and not feel sorry for myself, but today was a real struggle. My weekly meeting with Mrs. D helped cheer me up, and tonight has been amazing.

I went into today without a definite decision of where I wanted to post, so throughout the day I was praying about it. It seemed to come down to Fort Hood and Fort Drum, although previously I wanted Fort Carson, Fort Lewis, or Alaska. As the day wore on the desire to go to Fort Hood grew stronger, but I thought the chances of my actually getting one of the slots to go there was small, since I was 59th out of 71 and there were only 10 slots for it. I prayed that if it was where God wanted me that I'd get the last slot.

Right before we started picking posts my branch rep told us about a few changes in the rankings, and I actually moved up to 57th. The first posts to go out were both in Hawaii. I don't rememeber when Hood opened up, but the whole time I was praying "God, not my will but yours be done." As the Hood slots started to go I started to pray that the next person would pick Korea, and sure enough they did. That happened three or four times with different posts. Finally the 50th person got to pick, and there were 4 Hood slots left. There was a small debacle with someone trying to post with thier fiancee, and all of a sudden two Hood slots were gone, and there were still two people in front of me. The next person picked some other post and so I knew right then I had a Hood because there were two slots left, and then the next person picked Hood. I thanked God and picked the last Hood slot.

Other answered prayers:
- Annah had her biopsy yesterday and they think it was just a cyst.
- I really wanted to go on the OCF spring retreat, but had the NCUR conference at VMI as well as a crew regatta that weekend, so going was not even an option. Then, this morning I found out that only one person in my team has to go to the conference, and it most likely will be Mike. After crew practice I found out that the crew regatta for that weekend was taken off our schedule due to lack of funds. It looks like I'll be on the spring OCF retreat after all. Praise God! (Please pray that it stays that way.)

I got the last slot for my future post.
In just a few hours I'll find out where I'll be stationed for the next 3 years. Please pray for all of the firsties as we pick our first post tonight.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Please pray for my cousins Christian and Matthew who are both in the hospital right now.
I am a mess right now. My friend Annah is in the hospital today to get a lump removed that may be cancerous. My friend Anne told me that she was going to go visit her after crew practice, and I was welcome to come along, but it'd probably mean missing the first half of OCF. I really want to go to the first part of OCF, but I also feel like I should go visit Annah. I know that I would welcome visits from friends if I were in her situation. My emotions are so wacko right now that trying to decide what to do is actually making me cry.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

The OCF retreat was really good, and I am extremely glad I went on it, strenthend friendships, met new people, grew in my relationship with God, but it was, as expected, also an emotionaly draining weekend. This coming week is a rather major week, with post night on Wednesday and 100th night weekend this coming weekend. I'm looking forward to all of it, but I'm guessing my emotions will be rather rollercoastery (I think I made up that word). It's weeks like this where I am so glad that I can turn to God and know that He is there in and through everything.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Today I went and got my hair trimmed, and the lady who was trimming it told me that I have baby-fine hair. Why is my hair so thine? Am I mistaken when I remember having a rather thick head of hair a few years ago? I don't know why I'm only just noticing it now, but recently I have been noticing how thin my hair is. I don't know if it looks that way, but there is a huge difference when i brush it and when I occiasionally blow-dry it. I jokingly say that I should be the one going through chemo so that I can get a new head of hair when it's done.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

How short is the First Class?

The First Class is so short that we have fewer weeks at the academy than the Cows have months. WOOHOO!

Happy 100th Day :)
Betsy, make those white blood cells mutliply. That's an order.

Today was a beautiful day here. The sky was blue, it was very warm out (for February), and just a nice day overall. A little spring in the middle of winter is always an uplifitng touch.

My law teacher not showing up to class on Friday was God answering my prayer. My teacher was sick, and even though the law class is normally redirected to another classroom, due to my teacher being the one who is the re-director for the department, my class didn't get redirected. Therefore, none of us were unexcused. Thank you Jesus :)

Tomorrow is the real 100th night. The weekend after next is just when it is observed. Today I reflected on my time at west point and my time leading up to coming here. I thanked God, was amazed at everything that has transpired, and felt extremely blessed for the opportunities I've had.

No crew practice tomorrow. YAY!!!!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Thank you thank you thank you Mom and Dad :) Woohoo! I got something for valentines day from them.

Actually, once I got to crew practice my day brightned alot, even though it was crew practice. I decided to ask some of the girls on the team to go to dinner at Grant with me, my treat, to celebrate the day. Anne, Jackie, Abigail, and I are going to go soon. Anne gave everyone on the team bags of candy, Danielle handed out valentines day cards, and so did Abigail. Thank you ladies :)

Monday, February 14, 2005

I've been doing my best to try and not feel sorry for myself today, but right now my resolve is failing. I should think of how blessed I am and focus on that, but right now I'm coming up with a million excuses about why I have a right to feel sorry for myself. Inside I know I know that each excuse is garbage.
Alyson and I both got things in the mail today from our parents. She got a big teddy bear holding chocolates, and I got a form for my taxes.
Happy Valentines Day.

Betsy, happy second round of chemo day...or something like that.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

"Once a source of shame, divorce has become its own peculiar rite of passage, so commonplace that more people are looking to commemorate the occasion..." NYTimes Article "O.K., It's Over. So Now Let's Party."

Sad. We need to start looking past ourselves.

Friday, February 11, 2005

This week, if it hasn't been obvious, I've felt rather stressed. On the way to law class this morning I was pouring out my frustration to God and crying out to Him for help. I feel exhausted physically, emotionally, and mentally, and while I was walking to class I asked God to help me make it through somehow. When I got to class the rest of my section was waiting outside the classroom because the door was locked. I had never had a class where the instruction failed to show up, although I have heard of it happening to other people and wished it would happen to me soemtime. It finally did. We waited outside the room for 10 minutes and then left. Although the section marcher took a headcount to make sure we were all present, we did not send a runner up to our instructor's office, so I hope that no disciplianary action follows for not doing that and all of us leaving. In any case, I hope this was God giving me a little break.
The first cadets just reported to the new National Afghan Miltiary Academy. Instead of a 5-year commitment after they graduate they have a 25-year commitment.
So much for not having a heavy load this semester. This week I've been busy from the time I get up (anywhere from 5am to 6:20am) to the time when I finally can crash on my bed for the night (midnight or later). How is this different from normal? It's mostly due to group project meetings and working on the projects during the day, crew practice in the afternoon, and then dealing with problems in the platoon at night. In there I try and get some prayer time and Bible study, and if I'm lucky I can sit down for about 5 minutes before the next thing on my schedule. I suppose it's good prep for life outside of West Point.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

The reason I wrote the last post is because I really do need help on what to do. I don't want to continue being angry about the situation. I've tried talking to the person, praying about it, trying to ignore it, trying to look at the situation from their perspective, but I the anger still boiled.

I also need to work on my pride. I just spend about 10 minutes explaining/arguing with Jason about Ash Wednesday and the meaning of the ashes, and the significance of Lent. My not wanting to be wrong was a significant factor in there, which was probably a good sign that I should've just walked away and not tried to enter in on the discussion.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

How do I deal with a person(s) who Infuriates me? I don't like how angry I get, and I'm trying to not blow up at the person(s), yet sometimes, like today in class, it was taking almost every bit of self-restraint that I had in me. I am ashamed to say that after one comment was made at the end of class about the project we're working on I gave a death look to the person(s). I explained to the person how I felt they were not contributing to their share of the workload, but I ended up more angry then when I started, and they did not seem to care a bit about what I had to say. I can't wait till I'm out of CS394. The course leaves me in a very bad mood.

Monday, February 07, 2005

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Eddie: "Kate there is a preponderance of these little things called tracks in this room. I can feel you forcefully converting me.

Me: wave my arms towards him.

Eddie: "Ahhhh!"

Friday, February 04, 2005

I went from being 608 in my class at the beginning of last semester to being number 574 now. I wonder if I moved up in my branch at all.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

This evening Sean came over and we talked about Christianity, spiritual gifts, works of the Holy Spirit, and our Christian backgrounds for about 1.5 hours. It was a good discussion, although I am still a bit uncomfertable sharing my backgroud, but the more I share the easier it becomes. I'm always a bit worried that if I share stuff people will think I am just trying to get attention for myself, but that's not it. I'd rather remain silent than share for my own glory. I guess I am glad in a way that it is something that I am not very comfertable sharing about with everybody, because it acts as kind of a check to make sure that when I do speak about it, I am doing it to serve God and not myself.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

"All my longings lie open before you, O Lord;
my sighing ins not hidden from you."
Psalm 38:9


When God says 'Wait' or 'No' to a prayer it is heard to hear, but keep in mind that He does hear all prayers and knows the longings of you heart. He says No or Wait because he has something better in store for those who seek Him. He has something better in store for you. Are we to seek what is second best? No, we are to run as if to get hte prize (I Cor 9:24). Trust in the Lord and seek after Him.

"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love Him."
1 Cor 2:9/ Isaiah 64:4