Wednesday, October 25, 2006

1st In A While

23OCT: Where to start?  I have not sat down to write in quite a while, mainly due to the fact that I do not know if/when I will post what I write.  The nicest birthday present I received was that commo went green on Saturday night and I was able to call home.  16 hours later commo went black again and we are still on it at this moment, which means that I can not post this entry until some later date.  I have a lot of pent up emotion related to all of the commo-blackouts, but have not found a suitable time, place, or group to release it. Last night some of my friends joined me outside my trailer to make s’mores and celebrate my birthday.  A few times our conversation turned to the recent events.  Although it is a very sad topic, talking about it helped.  A few days ago I made a list starting on 21 August of the dates and number of people for whom we’ve been on commo-blackout.  Dean called the list morbid, and it is very depressing, but everything was blurring together and I wanted to see if I was exaggerating everything in my mind.  I wasn’t.   

Yesterday I ran about 8 miles, but did it in 6 min chunks with a minute of walking in-between.  I’ve been trying to run more in the past few weeks because I tend to snack a ton at my desk.  Two Sundays ago I ran 11 miles, but did it in 4 min segments with a minute of walking.  I feel a lot better after I run, but then I go and eat a ton of unhealthy food and feel miserable again.  Those two runs are the longest I’ve gone on.  Usually I try for 3.5 to 5 miles a few days a week.