I survived today. I'm not sure how, but I made it through and am still alive and somewhat functioning.

My parents are coming to my regatta this weekend. YAY!! My mom called me today to tell me. This weekend is the New York State Championships.

At last, time for bed. I have a dirt WPR tomorrow that I'm not really ready for and probably should study some more for it, but I only got 2.5 hours of sleep last night and am tired. Today wore me out. At least I'm now done with my AP paper, math WPR, and in-ranks. Good night.

.59 seconds. That really is a split second. AUGH!!! That's how much Holy Cross beat us by this weekend. We had an awesome start and got half a boat length on everybody, but then in the last 100 meters the other teams picked up a better sprint than us. Holy Cross and us battled it out stroke for stroke with each boat getting ahead and then falling back in turn with each pass through the water. They just had one more stroke than we did and crossed the finish line first. We were so close.

Someone once told me that when you are mad at someone or want to say something mean about them, you should instead try and think of 10 nice things to say about them. I've tried to do that before and it helps a little. I also try and see things from the other persons point of view. Of course, that can lead to an arguement in my head between the two sides. I don't want to be selfish or self-centered, but that sometimes leads me to not say anything and I end up being unhappy or disliking something. I guess I have a problem with speaking what is on my mind. Some people do it too much, and then some don't do it enough. I'd rather not be on either side of the spectrum. I've found that I'm most comfertable in the middle. Perhaps it's time that I start stepping out of my comfort zone. But how? I don't want to go from not saying anything, to saying too much.

Why do I have childrens songs running through my head? Do you know the Muffin Man?

Eurika! I've figured it out. As a child I was terrified of the bath tub drain. When my mom would drain the bath tub after my bath I would start crying if any of my toys were left in there because I was sure that they would be sucked down the cm diameter holes of the drain covering. I was also sure that I would get sucked down as well if I was left in there. I think I may have figured out why I was so scared. It's because of the boy that lived down the drain. My dad used to sing Ba Ba Black Sheep as
Ba ba black sheep have you any wool
Yes sir yes sir three bags full
One for my master
One for the adme
One for the little boy who lives down the drain
instead of "one for the little boy who lives down the lane." That poor boy. How did he survive in that drain?

My last CCQ shift of the school year is underway. That is, it's my last schedualed one. During Tee's I'll probably have a few hours on the Q. I really should be doing homework, especially my AP paper or my CS project, but other stuff is more interesting. That other stuff being reading Readers Digest, playing solitare, randomly surfing the web, and talking to the BP. Life on the Q is pretty boring. I did manage to get all of my laundry done this morning and had a short break when I went to go take a math quiz. It was another 10/10. I just suck at the wpr's and projects. This, of course, is the one day in the history of crew that we have a day off. Normally I'd be rejoicing, but I was looking forward to getting away from the Q for a few hours. Now I'm stuck here while my friends sleep. Such is life. Really it's not too bad, at least not most of the time. The company is in PMI today so it makes my life a little easier. There's no AMI to check and I don't have to worry about room graders coming through.

My mom said that my laptop should be coming either today or tomorrow. I can't wait to have it back and working again. Tomorrow I leave for the Patriot League Championships around noon so I hope it comes today. It'll also be nice to have my water bottle. I lost my favorite one last week when the boat swamped and so I've been using one of my Nalgene bottles. The Nalgene bottles are great, but it takes too long tring to unscrew the lid and get a drink during practice. Molly keeps commenting that she likes my new water bottle more than my old one because it looks nicer. The one that my mom is sending me is exactly like the one I lost, but a different color. I wonder what Molly will think of that one.

Today Coach Hall moved me into the Varisty A boat. I still can't believe it and wonder if it will last. It'd be nice if everyone could row in the seat and boat that they wanted. Both boats just got switched around a little and while I moved up, my really good friend Leah moved down a boat. She really deserves to be in the A boat. She works harder than just about anyone I know, has one of the best erg times on the team, is very humble, very nice, very competitive, and is one of the coolest people I know. I wish there were more Leah's out there.

I got my physucks wpr back today and found out I got an 88.5% on it. The course average on it was around a 73% I think. That made me really happy because that may bring my grade up in that class to a B-. My grades really suck this semester. I just took a spanish WOPR which I'm pretty sure I failed. Forgetting the difference between por and para and the preterit and imperefect is not a good thing to do when that is what the majority of the test covers.

Yesterday after CS lab I had CS AI schedualed with Dr. Blair, but since I had a few minutes before AI and I was really down about the class I went searching for someone to talk to about my major. I tried LTC Phillips, who is my DAC, LTC Surdu, who is my sponsor, and Dr. Hanlon, who is one of my coachs. They are all in the EECS department, but I didn't manage to talk to any of them because they were either gone or busy talking to someone else. I ended up talking to Dr Blair and the first sentence out of my mouth was "Ma'am, I think I may have made a mistake when choosing my major." She sat down with me and told me that the impressions she got from me in class were that I had the ability to do the work, but didn't have much of a background with the stuff. She said that she thought I had the skill to get a B+/A-, but that I probably wasn't working up to my potential. My motivation is decidedly lacking. I go over to visit Josh and Joel is always sitting there working on the CS project. I hardly ever work on it. There's probably a direct correlation between how much I work I do and how much I enjoy the class. Right now I have problems with visualizing stuff and when I try and work on it back in my room it feels like I get even more lost and do everything wrong. I like working with computers and technology, but I'm not sure if I like this stuff. I do, but yet I don't.

Why does the regatta this weekend have to be away? It's the Big East Championship, formerly known as the Patriot League Championships. The one weekend...

Today I have exactly 6 months left as a teenager. Time sure does fly.

Coach Hall had us seat race today. We did six 1000 meter pieces. The first two I was in the boat with Kathie, Cas, and Leah. The other boat had Margo, Frannie, Mindy, and AB. None of us knew we were going to be seat racing at first, but it became pretty clear once Coach told us to get the boats even and start to row. My boat won the first 2 races, and then Coach switched Andrea and Leah, meaning that they were going to be seat racing each other. My boat won the next two races as well by and even larger margin, which I really wasn't expecting. Then Coach had Mindy and I switch boats. I didn't expect my boat to be able to keep up, but we ended up smoking the other boat twice. I think I saw Coach Holland's jaw drop when he saw us pass. Mindy got really upset because since my boat won that probably means that I beat her. That really suprised me because she has a better 2k erg time than me by 7 or 8 seconds. Oh well. Nobody really understands how Coach Hall does seat racing. For all I know I could have actually lost.

Why do things have to change? Is the first year of a sport always the best? The freshman softball team in high school was by far the best year, even though I was on varisty the other three years. We all bonded and had an awesome season. It's a bit early to say it about crew, but right now it looks like novie year may be the best year. There are a bunch of girls thinking about leaving the team next year to do other sports such as lacrosse and rugby. I have to admit that I'm not 100% sure that I'll stick with crew instead of trying a new sport next year. A few weeks ago Coach Holland came up to me and asked me if I was going to come back next year. I said I was pretty sure I would and he said that he wasn't looking for a definite answer right then, but he told me wanted me on the team. Last week he made sure to tell Molly and I that we didn't have to worry about making the team next year, and that went for all current varsity rowers. I guess that makes me ask myself why I row. Do I do it for the love of the sport, for my friends on the team, for the excercise, because I don't want to drill, or some other reason? I wasn't a big fan of the sport in high school and only did it in the fall to stay in shape for softball in the spring. When I visited West Point in the spring of my senior year I went down to crew practice and rode in the launch. I swore to myself that I'd never do crew here because I remembered not liking it very much. Occasionally, however, I would drive past the Huron River back home and acutally think about rowing and actually miss it. Plebe year Jasmin decided to try out to be a coxswain on the crew team. I went along to tryouts just because she was going. Once there I suddenly felt like I fit in and belonged. I prayed that I'd make the team, and was so happy when I did. Why does it feel like things are changing now? Coach Hall is leaving after this year to go work at the Pentagon, Larissa and Anne probably will go due rugby, lacrosse may get Leah, she was All American in high school, Molly is going to Air Force for a semester and Meghan is going to Navy. Why do things have to change?

I called home this evening and got to talk to Heidi, Betsy, Mom, Dad, Aunt Sue, Uncle Jeff, Grandma, and Isaac. Anna doesn't like talking on the phone. Isaac told me that he wished that I went to a school closer to home so that we could have an easter egg hunt again. Isaac is my favorite guy in the whole world. I wish that I could see Anna and Isaac more often. Hopefully I'll see them this summer.

HAPPY EASTER! Jesus is risen.

Peeps are one of the great things about Easter. They are so small, yellow, and cute with their little brown dotted eyes and sugar coating. They are also really fun to watch blow up in the microwave. Yes, peeps are great. I think I'll go microwave some right now.

Right now I'm a little mad, or perhaps pissed is a better word. This really does not happen all that often and when it does happen I feel bad for feeling this way. I also wonder whether I have the right to feel this way or if my hopes were not justified and I shouldn't have counted on whatever it was. I really try and give people the benefit of the doubt. I am so tempted to write about it, but I don't want to say anything bad about anybody and I'm afraid that might happen or it may come across that way. I'll just say that I was hoping to do something with a friend tonight, but he decided to go do something else.

Sometimes I feel like I'm being strung around and only a friend of convenience. I stopped talking about guys on here a while ago, but this time I'm going to make an exception and write whatever comes to my head. I know that the whole world can read this if they want to, which has made me more cautious since the incident last fall, but right now I just want to get this out of me.

I like this guy, he likes me, but we are only friends. At least that is what people are told when they ask about is going on between us. Why do I like him? Because I can talk to him, I'm comfortable around him, he can be a great guy sometimes, and sometimes he seems to care about me. He's someone I can call in the middle of the night if I need to talk. He opens me up more and challenges me; gets me to try new things and be a little more outgoing. The thing is, we are just friends. Actually, I don't think that description really works. A lot of people mistake us for being boyfriend/girlfriend, but we are not. Why? Because he does not want to be. That is the plain and simple answer, and when I read it and hear it in my mind it makes me feel like crap because I wonder if I'm selling myself short. His reasoning is that he's always had a girlfriend since the time he was 14 and this is the first time that he hasn't. I understand that, see the logic, and actually think it is a good thing for a person to experience life being single, but it leaves me with a kind of raw deal. Where is the line between being friends and being something more than friends? What are reasonable expectations? I'm left wondering if I want too much. Example, this is the last Saturday I'll be here due to crew and I was hoping to hang out with him and some friends. I also had a race this morning. I invited him to watch the race with some friends, but he had plans to go watch the Mets game in the city. Last night he told me that he'd be back around 7 or 8 and that maybe we could do something then. After he gets back I talk to his roommate, also a friend, and it seems like we all might go do something like go see a movie. I talk to my friend a little while later and he tells me that he's leaving in 10 min to go do something because he can't stand being here on a Saturday night. Neither can I. I am going crazy right now because there is nothing to do and everyone is gone. Since he never said that we would definitely do something, I do not have the right to be mad about that. He can do whatever he wants. I just was hoping to do something with him and was hoping that he wanted to do something with me. Half the time it seems like he really cares about me, likes me, and that there is something there. The other part of the time I feel like I'm nothing more than just another friend, someone who doesn't really matter to him, perhaps just another girl chasing after him, who likes him a lot more than he likes her.

The only solution to all of this that I can see right now is for me to back off and officially say that we are just friends, nothing more than that until he is ready for a relationship, if that ever happens. The problem is that I don't want to do that. I like feeling like I'm someone special to someone. I also don't exactly know what being just friends means. I care a lot about him, and I want him to also care about me, but that is his decision. I don't want to be the one putting all the work into something and be left high and dry because he's just been playing around. I don't want to like him more than he likes me. He's good at putting himself first, which is something that I've been bad at my whole life, but this time I think I'm going to try and do what I think is best for myself. I feel like I'm being selfish by doing it. I need advice.

One side note. Annah was very nice and did invite me out to the mall with her parents earlier in the evening, but I was about to go play frisbee with Anne and didn't want to ditch her. She'd been working on a paper all day and needed to get outside.

B...O...R...E...D

It's Saturday, the last Saturday that I have a chance to do something here in fact, and what am I doing? Nothing. Absolutly nothing. Yes, I am taking this time to grip, whine, complain and overall feel sorry for myself. I think I'll allow myself about 20 minutes of it and then get over it. Feeling sorry for oneself is only good for so long before it really becomes depressing and nobody wants to associate with you. My 20 minutes shall start...now.

Yesterday was good Friday. What was I along with the majority of the yearling class here, doing you may ask. We were studying for our physics wpr this morning. Yes, a physics test the saturday morning before Easter. What a great way to celebrate the holiday. The test went, well, I'll just leave it at the test went. It really could go either way. I know that I got at least one conceptual problem wrong, but I'm hoping that I got the bonus question correct. Right after the test I rushed back to my room and threw my rowing stuff together and headed down to the boat house. Army raced Marist here today, but they only brought one 8 of women and so the V8 raced them and won. Go Army! Coach had the rest of us split into three fours and race each other in the last race of the day. He did it so Molly, Abby, and I were all strokes of the boats. Yesterday at practice he made the comment "now we'll see who is the best stroke." He was just joking around of course, but I didn't want to lose to them. The race went well and my boat ended up winning. For some reason the past few races I've been getting really bad cramps right after the finish line after we stop rowing. It happened today right as we were landing and so I was doubled over in pain on the dock. They go away after a few minutes, but it seems like an eternity. I got a ride back up from one of the guys in my company who came down to watch the races. Now I'm back in my room with nothing to do. A lot of my friends have parents up here for the weekend and so they are out with them. I really want to go out, but no one is here. One of my friends said that said he'd let me know when he got back from the Mets game and so I'm hoping that happens because otherwise I might go crazy. I could do homework, but that seems like adding insult to injury. Besides, it'd be nice to forget about school for a few hours.

Time's up. I have to stop complaining and feeling sorry for myself now. I think I'll take a shower, watch a movie or read a book, and perhaps take a nap. Amaka might be on the Q so I may go visit her and see if any of my other friends are around. One thing I need to avoid is snacking on all of the candy in my room right now. Mindless eating is no good and very addictive. I may, however, go blow some peeps up in the company microwave. That's always amusing. They get really fat and then burst. Good old West Point fun.

Yes, I love studying for physics tests on a Friday night. There's nothing better in life than learning about circuits and the loop rule and junction rule. Kirchhoff was one cool guy. It's also great role playing. In one problem they have me as a platoon leader of a field artillery battery assigned the task of monitering the danger due to excess charge accumulation on 155m Howitzer projectiles in my unit area. In another problem I get to be the battalion signal officer taksed with setting up an antenna farm to support battalion operations. They must really like me to give me these positions. Enough sarcasm for now, back to studying.

One quick side note. I looked at the chain of command list for Beast 2, and I noticed that I was slated to be a squad leader in H Company. My 1st SGT was, get this, Erich. I knew there was a possibility of that happening and half of me said that it would happen, but the other half said that the odds were against it. Oh well, it doesn't really matter anyway. It was long ago and besides now I have CFT 1.

This week has turned out to be a pretty good week so far. That may change, however, tomorrow with the physics WPR. I passed the APFT, found out I got CPRC which means that I get to go home after my last TEE, Coach Hall selected me to take Larissa's spot in the first varsity boat because she couldn't come to the race, it's Easter on Sunday, everyone was just fine after the minor incident at practice on Wednesday, my Mom sent me a little Easter basket and included some danish puff and peeps, the trade went through with James and so I have CFT 1 now instead of AA4 and CBT2, and I got to miss class on Friday to go race at UCONN. Sure, the week had some low points, but right now I'm in a good mood and thinking of the good points.

How serious was the situation? I really don't know. There are so many things that could have happened, but they didn't and we all made it back okay and we all recovered just fine. Had it happened last week or the week before that, who knows. But it didn't happen then. Our boats swamped today, the day it was 82 degrees outside. The water was probably 35 or 40 degrees. Maybe warmer. I really have no clue, but it was very cold and had ice on it only a few weeks ago. What if Coach K and MAJ Hall had taken the people they fished out all the way back to the dock? But they didn't and they got the rest of us out in time.

I only started to get scared when Coach K left with two people and right then our shell started to sink. I'd been at least half an hour, maybe an 45 minutes since we had started to take on water. I thought she had left us out there all alone. The shell was completely submerged in the water and the current was pretty fast. It was then that the thought crossed my mind that if she had taken the people all the way back to the dock then the rest of us might not make it. Since we couldn't row anymore we made the decision to detach the oars and flip the shell so that we could use it to hold on to and float. I now know why we have to watch that safety video every year where it depicts this exact situation. Before we all laughed at it because no one thought that it'd ever be that serious. Last year a few boat swamped, but the coaches were right there and the water was warmer. This time we risked hypothermia after a few minutes in the water. The video also taught us to stay with the shell. It's hard to judge the distance to shore and people are more likely to die when they try and swim there on their own.

I don't know how long we were in the water holding on to the shell. Margaret told us to try and keep our feet out of the water because the air was much warmer. I'm guessing it was under 5 minutes from the time that we flipped the shell to the time that Coach Hall came and got us, but really I have no clue. Later on when I was talking to people they were saying that they felt like time slowed down and they were starting to feel delirious. Leah said that she started to try and gather up oars, but then someone told her to stop because the oars didn't really matter. They could float. It was more important to hold onto the shell and wait to get rescued. When Coach Hall came and picked us up he had us all huddle together in the center of his boat. We were all trying to unravel space blankets, but they were hard to unravel and our hands were all numb. One of the Coaches gave me his t-shirt. I tried to give it to one of the girls that looked colder than I did, but Sarah and Annah made me put it on. Since I'd lost my sandals when the boat swamped I had to run barefoot back to the boathouse once we got to the dock. The girls that were dry ran and got us the blankets we had for emergencies like this one, and then went up and turned on all of the showers for us. Some people were too cold to get out of their wet clothes themselves, so others had to help them.

The novices were very helpful and ran around doing what they could for us. A few of them made hot chocolate and coffee for anyone that wanted it. There was an ambulance waiting for us, but thankfully no one ended up needing it. I'm amazed that things turned out as well as they did. They didn't recover the shells until a few hours later and I have no clue what shape they are in. We lost a couple hundred dollars worth of equipment that was in the shells, but that's miniscule compared to the fact that all 18 of us who were in those two shells today that swamped were able to walk away from the whole thing just fine.

The APFT is over and once again I managed to avoid going on the Comm's remediation program. However, I am still very dissapointed in my performance. Although I did the most sit-ups I've ever done in the two minutes, my push-ups and run were significantly worse. I got cut 10-15 push-ups, which has never happened before either. I knew going to the grader sitting on the floor in a yoga position was a bad idea, but I didn't really have a choice. After the APFT was over Anne and I ran, or actually it was more a crawl because we couldn't move, to practice. Coach Hall had the brilliant idea of making that practice one of the hardest we've had all year. He had us do seat racing with 1000 meter pieces. I don't think I've ever pulled harder before in practice. Halfway through I decided that since I was already in so much pain a little more didn't matter. That actually was my savior because it got me through the mental block and I was able to look at Cas the whole time and row with all my strength while not thinking. I was 6 seat in the 73rd and so I was behind Kathie and Cas. I hope that someday I can row as well as they can row.

After practice Molly and I ran up to Mac Statue where LTC Surdu picked us up. We were still all sweaty and stuff because there wasn't any time to shower and change, but nobody said anything. Dinner was very delicous. Mrs. Surdu made Meatloaf, green beans, and corn souflee. I loved the corn souflee. Tommy and Sammy were once again very excited to see all of us and were running all over the place. They reminded me of Anna and Isaac.

This morning Anne and I once again got up to go running at 5:45. Last night I was very tempted to email her and cancel, but I didn't give in. When I told her that this morning she said that she felt the same way last night and so it's a good thing that neither of us acutally did try and get out of getting up. Last week when we went running it was freezing out and we had to wear our sweat suits and I wore a skull cap, but today it was 65 degrees out. We did a short jog around the plain and then stretched for the rest of the time because we wanted to allow our bodies a little recovery time. The air reminded me of Beast and the morning PT.

APFT today. YAY!! Can someone break my arm? Please..pretty please...with sugar on top? Oh well, I guess I may as well just get it over with instead of having to dread it later. Oh wait, I will because of AA school. I've realized that although I'm in shape for rowing, I'm not in great shape for the APFT. This afternoon I'm taking it with Anne and Leah, or at least that is the plan. What makes it even better is that Coach Hall has a really hard practice planned for today. He's seat racing some of us. I've heard that I'm up against Mindy. Tonight I'll be smoked. The one thing that I get to look forward to is dinner at the Surdu's house. LTC Surdu is leaving in a few weeks for a new command position and so his wife and him are having everyone over for a last dinner together. The sad part is that it means that I'll miss OCF tonight :(

I can't believe that Easter is this Sunday. It really doesn't feel like it. Betsy asked me if I was coming home for Easter because she wanted to introduce me to Roger (*loud sigh and dreamy look on face as I mock my sister*), but seeing as how I have a physics WPR and a race on that Saturday I told her it wasn't going to happen. Hopefully I'll get a chance to meet Roger when I'm home for the summer. He's one of the favorite topics of my family right now. They all seem to like him a lot.

So much more to write, but no time to do it. I can't wait for yearling year to end. Hopefully everyone wasn't lying to me when they told me that cow year is a lot better.

Is it really only Wednesday? This week is going by rather slowly. Friday afternoon I leave with the Crew team for the Knecht Cup in NJ. It'll be nice to get out of here. This place is extremly grey right now. Grey, cold, and rainy.

This week Anne and I are trying to get up everyday at 5:30am to go for a run at 5:40 for about 20 min. We went for about a 3 mile run on Sunday and realized that although we may be in shape for crew, rowing and running are very different. Josh doesn't think that we can last a week getting up that early. I'm determined to prove him wrong. Of course, once he said that he knew I'd try and prove him wrong and he said that, but that doesn't change anything.

Why do my friends have to be so smart? Anne and Molly are being interviewed this week to try out for the Truman Scholarship, Molly and Meghan just got accepted into the Academy exchange program, and over spring break I found out that Leah turned down a full ride to Princeton so that she could come here instead. Josh says he knew his square roots when he was four, last year Beth got the CS cookie tray (not the real name of the award), and Meghan recieved the history award. Both those awards go to the top person in those classes out of everyone in in our grade for the whole year. Then there's me who's just happy to have only 2 C's at 10 week grades.

What really gets me is that they all seem to be really good at learning for the sake of gaining an understanding and applying the material while thinking on their own. All my life I've been used to being spoon fed material, regurgttating it on a test, and then expeling it from my mind after having put no real thought into it on my own. I did not come to this realization until this past year, more specifically this past semester. Now I'm left wondering if I actually have any ability to think on my own and am almost envious of the natural ease at which they assertain things and put their own thoughts into it instead of just quoting verbatim what someone else has already discovered and concluded. They have the ability to think on a higher level and actually use that ability, whereas a lot of people see it as a wast of time and energy and conclude that the actual thinking should be left to other people while we cram for the next test so that we can just dump all of the information after it's over. Perhaps that is why I'm in college. So that I can learn to think.

This morning I was going to go to Church with Anne and the guys again and so I set my alarm for 9:20am and when it went off I procceeded to hit the snooze button until around 9:40. I got up, to a shower, got dressed, and was about to walk out the door when I saw I had an email in my inbox. It said: "Not a single one of you showed up!!! You all forgot to set your clocks ahead!!" I'd forgotten all about the time change. Oops! Needless to say, I did not make it to Church.

I know it's childish, but I still have that dream that a guy would come along and be like prince charming, or a knight in shining armor, fight some battle for me, and then sweep me off my feet. Too bad that only happens in fairy tales. This past summer my dad recommend that I read the book Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. It's mostly for men, but he suggested I read it because the profession I'm in means that there is a very high likelyhood that I'll be in charge of many men and he thought this might help me understand them a little more. I like the book so much that I actually gave a copy of it to my friend Frank, and he liked it so much that his whole family read it. Although I've read it a few times now, when I do read it I still try and hide that I'm reading it. A lot of people would laugh at it.

The first paragraph of the back cover states: "Every man was once a boy. And every little boy has big dreams: dreams of being the hero, of beating the bad guys, of doing daring feats and rescuing the damsel in distress. Every little girl has dreams, too: of being rescued by her price and swept up into a great adventure, knowing that she is the beauty." I may be a M16 fireing, ruck march marching, torn-up hands rower, who's in a uniform practically 24 hours a day, but inside I'm still that little girl wanting to be seen as a beauty worth fighting for.

Sometimes I think most guys are tired of trying to win girls. I'm not saying that I want to be some helpless girl that shrieks over a broken nail. Combatives happens to be my favorite class and for once in my life I am not scared about trying to go all out. I enjoy grappeling a ton and become very competitive. Perhaps I just haven't found the right guy and perhaps I haven't done my part either. Back in middle school I actually came across the book The Rules and, not knowing what it was, I read it. I don't really remember much about it, but I've probably broken just about every single rule. No, I'm not saying that I think the book was good and actually should be followed, I'm just trying to make the point that I'm not used to being patient and waiting for things to happen. I become impatient and try and get things moving along or whatever and usually end up messing everything up. I don't always want to be the one who always goes to visit the other person, is the one who calls, who starts the conversations, asks the person out, etc.

On a totally different subject, Army Crew did an awesome job today. My boat won both our races. The other varsity boat won both their races. The guys won all their races at MIT.

It's the weekend at last. Tomorrow morning I have my first regatta of the spring season against Fairfield and Sacred Heart. Right now I think I'm slated to row in the Varsity B 8, which is the second race, and then in a four after the novies race. I'll see how I'm doing tomorrow and make a decision after the first race on whether or not I think I can row. Today I was talking to Annah and she suggested that Coach Hall may be grooming me to be the stroke of the Varsity A boat when I'm a firstie. That'd be awesome, but since Coach Hall is leaving after this year and I've never rowed under Coach Holland, I don't know how good my chances are. Next year it'll probably be Margret Kenny or Mindy who's the stroke. I don't really know what the novies look like this year in terms of that, but I do know that the competition is going to increase next year on varsity with the way the novies erg scores look at the moment. Annah said that I had the best time on the B boat, but I know that there are at least two novies who beat me and even had better times than a few people on the A boat. Ah well, it just means that Army has an even better team.

I have a confession to make. I've started to listen to country music by my own free will and actually enjoy it. All my life I've detested it, but for some reason that's changing. In fact, for the past few days it's the only thing I've listened to on MSN radio. Right now my favorites are Toby Keith and Tim McGraw along with one song by Tracy Byrd.

Will this stupid cold please go away? It's getting rather annoying. I took the advice of S. Woods and bought some Cold-Eeze, but I can't tell if they're working. At least I'm not Celio and on bed rest for the week, or Tim and quarentined in the hospital. Actually, he's probably not quarentined anymore because they concluded he doesn't have SARS.

Yesterday Gov. Jeb Bush came and talked to the cadets in AP. That was cool.

The plebe had their crest unveiling dinner tonight. I wonder what their class crest looks like. Everyone makes fun of 2005's. They say it looks like the flag is being set on fire and that the eagle has three wings.

Sleep time. My favorite time of the day :)

Avoiding work at the moment. I have to write up my physics lab report that's due tomorrow, but right now I'm putting that off. Not the smartest idea, but oh well.

Today I finally got around to doing my taxes, or at least dropping off the stuff so that other people can do them for me.

Great news. My Mom doesn't have cancer. The results came back today. YAY! *jumping around the room*

Stop for a moment and breath. In, out, in, out. Open your eyes and look around. Get beyond the work and stress. You are very fortunate to be where you are right now. Don't forget that.

Awww. It's so cute. Betsy just started dating someone and things seem to be going very well. She's floating right now instead of walking.

I finally rowed my 2k yesterday before practice. The first 1000m I was doing awesome and averaging a 1:54min 500m split, but then I died during the second 1000m and my split rose to around 2:01min. My final time was 7:48.2, which is my second best yet. My best time was 7:47.3. Right now Coach Hall has me back as stroke of the varsity B boat. I love being stroke, although it's really hard sometimes. On Saturday we're racing the varsity A eight, and then two fours. I'm stroking one of the fours. Today at practice we rowed in the fours and Molly cox'd my boat. Usually I can maintain my cool and not get very annoyed during practice, but today my attitude wasn't great. My boat should've been the faster if you compared everyone's erg scores, but we just didn't have it. Molly had never coxed before and so we kinda swerved all over the place, which was one factor that slowed us down. Another was that the rest of the people in the boat wanted a really low stroke rating, like a 20, but I felt the boat moved best at a 24-26 and so I got very annoyed when I listened to them and kept it down at a 20 and we fell behind the other boat. On the last 1500 m piece we did I said screw it and raised the rating to 26-28 and we stayed ahead of the other boat the whole time,even though they pulled at least 4 more power 10's than us. I admit, my ratio sucks, but we were going nowhere fast at a 20 and just tireing ourselves out.