I feel like I'm in a maze of phone numbers and I don't know how to get out.

Last night my ear was still hurting, and then kept me from sleeping very well during the night, so I went into sick call this morning to get it looked at. Turns out I have a rather nasty ear infection, so now I'm on motrin, ear drops, and amoxicillin. (The doctor did tell me that most ear infections are viral, not bacterial, but he still felt antibiotics were worth it in my case.) The doctor also told me to go see an ear, nose, and throat doctor due to the strange reoccurance of ear pain when I go home.

At the clinic this morning they told me to go online and make an appointment with the doctor, and also gave me two numbers I could call in order to make an appointment. I looked online and didn't find any appointment making places, so I called the numbers. The first one didn't work, and the person who answered the second one told me that I had to make an appointment through TriCare. He gave me a number to call, which I called. After some automated voices telling me to make different selections, I reached a real person who told me that I had to call someplace else, and she gave me the number. I called that number and another machine answered. It asked me to select my former TriCare region, which I had no clue about so I had to go online and figure that out. After I made the correct selection I reached a real person who proceeded to tell me that I needed a referral to make an appointment, and he gave me a name of a person who has to provide the referral, and a number for them to fax the referral to. I then tried to look up the name so that I could email her, but couldn't find it in the global address list for West Point. I decided to look up the doctor who had seen me earlier today so that I could email him and explain the situation, but he wasn't listed either.

Right now I'm wondering whether it's worth all the trouble of continuing my search of how to make an appointment. I may just say forget it and hope that since I'm driving home for Christmas, and any time from then on, I won't have any more ear trouble.

Back at school, back to the grind. The good news is that tomorrow I only have one class and it's last hour. First hour I'm meeting with Amanda for coffee at Grant.

Anyone want to trade ears? Mine work fine as long as I don't fly home to Michigan. They're still hurting. Grrr...

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's great to be home :)

For anyone going to the Joe Bear site and not finding the latest episode, it hasn't been posted yet. Last night I sent it out on the Joe Bear Distro. I'll post a message when it's online. If you are interested in being on the distro feel free to let me know. Usually the episodes are 4 or 5 MB in size.

The reaction over the new Joe Bear episode has been mixed. The guys who usually send emails saying Joe Bear is stupid, in a nice way, are the ones who like the new episode the most. However, the reaction from the girls has not been so good. They don' t like the branch that was choosen. I personally would have liked to have him branch Armor, but there's a decided lack of tanks around the barracks, and I couldn't think of any other way of depicting it.

Right now I'm feeling rather alone in my beliefs about women regarding modesty, courtship vs dating, marriage, roles of men and roles of women, and God's design for things.

I sent out a new Joe Bear episode tonight and at the bottom of the email I put Psalm 91:11. The embarrasing thing is that instead of the word "concerning" I accidently wrote "concerting."

Right now I should be studying for a WPR that I have tomorrow in IT460, Information Warfare, but I keep getting distracted. Can it be Tuesday right now instead of Sunday? That way I'd be going home tomorrow, instead of taking a test tomorrow.

Today I woke up around 8:30 even though my alarm was set to go off at 9:30. I read for a bit, and then got ready for Church. After Church Jason invited me to go out to lunch with the group, but I had a project meeting, so I turned down the invitation and ate in the mess hall instead. Right before my project meeting Dave stopped by my room and asked if I could drive him out to Buckner to get his car. He convinced me to push back the meeting by about 15 minutes, and I ended up driving him out there. My project group met at 1 for about 10 minutes and divided up the next portion of the IT305 project. Then I worked on it a bit and read while waiting for my cousing Isaac to call. He called around 2:30 to interview me for a class project. It was really cute. Then I went with Anne to the PX to try and get some subduded MI insignia, but they were still all out. Anne and I met again at 5 and walked up to the Cadet Chapel to go to Genesis. During the fellowship times we watched Veggie Tales videos. The title of the Genesis talk was "It's Not All About You." It was a really good message. After that I went and hung out in Jason and Charlie's room for a bit and talked about courtship and relationships. Now I'm back in my room half studying for a test.

I've been spending a lot of time with Jason and Charlie, and their group of friends this semester. They are both involved in a lot of the Christian activities I'm involved with, and togther we lead a weekly company Bible study on Romans. It's been awesome finding good Christian friends in the company, as well as the fact that they introduce me to other Christians that I didn't know before. Plus, since they only live two doors down, it's really easy to go over and talk to them and get a guy's perspective on stuff, or just joke around and make faces in the mirror with them.

I hear Michigan lost to Ohio State :( We'll beat them again next year.

Today marked the last home football game of my cadet career. It was cold, raining, and we lost. I don't think I'm going to miss mandatory football games very much.

This morning we had meetings with our branch reps. We talked about posting, MIOBC dates, and MI in general. Afterwords I came back to the room and read a tiny bit. I then decided to visit Jason and Charlie. They were playing Smash Brothers on Jason's computer and after a few minutes of watching that I felll asleep on their couch for about half an hour. When I woke up I went down the company BBQ, and then came back to my room and read for a bit. Then it was time to form up to march up to the stadium. As I said before, it was cold, raining, and we lost. After the game I went out to dinner with Abigail at Palisades. Now I'm here writing this and wondering why I am putting off going to bed when what I really want to do right now is go to bed. I think I shall go to bed now.

Yesterday as I was waiting at Mac Statue for Mrs. D to pick me up for our weekly Bible study a car drove around the corner and I saw a red one star license plate on the front of it. My first thought was to turn and duck inside, but not wanting to seem cowardly, and not wanting to keep Mrs D waiting when she showed up, I stayed where I was on the sidewalk. Military etiquette states that we're supposed to salute the vehicales with General's flags on them, so I saluted the car, but felt like I looked rather stupid out there all alone saluting a car. I was hoping the car would drive right on by to the Supe's house without stopping, but it of course stopped right in front of me. Not sure if my first salute had counted, I saluted again. Then the General's aid, a Major, got out of the car, so I saluted him. Finally the Brigadere General stepped out of the car, so I then saluted him. I was very relieved once they walked away and the car drove off.

Then this morning after I recieved my polio shot I decided to go to Grant to get some hot chocolate to drink. As I was walking down the sidewalk I saw the General and the Major headed my direction. Once again I hoped that either I'd be inside Grant before they passed, or that they would pass right on by and I could salute and greet and be over with the interation. Of course, it didn't work out that way. Right as I reached Grant they turned to walk up to Grant as well. I saluted and greeted, but instead of saying "Good Morning gentlemen," it came out "Good Afternoon, gentlemen." The time was 8:45 am. The general asked me if Grant was open, and I told him I thought so, and opened the door. I think I was supposed to open the door for both of them and let them pass through first, but I opened the door and the Major then held it while I walked through and then the General. There wasn't any room to move to the side to let him through first. I hope it wasn't too much of a military etiquette blunder.

I really hope that was my last encounter with him. I don't know who it was, and was too busy trying not to make a fool of myself to look at his nametape (I failed in the not looking like a fool part.) I'll be happy if Generals stay out of my vicinity for awhile.

Sunday night was branch night. I haven't posted my branch results up until now due to the fact that I couldn't access blogger on Sunday, and then I left for FL on Monday. Anyway, I got my first choice, Military Intelligence :) I may not get the post I want, but I'm happy having the branch I want.

Eric Mbog-hob, USMA class of 2004, may he rest in peace.

Currently I'm at a resort in Disney World due to a conference that is going on here. My group presented today and it went fairly well. Afterwords we recieved a lot of compliments. Although I'm at Disney World, I don't actually get to visit any of the parks, but I don't mind.

The time away from school has given me more time to read and listen to Focus on the Family shows. I've done a lot of thinking and stuff. I just wish that I had someone to talk to about it right now. Unfortunatly, my laptop won't connect to the internet, and my cell phone won't complete any calls.

I'll be back at school tomorrow afternoon.

I have all new tires on my jeep :)

It's snowing! Realy snowing, not just flurrying, with big flakes that stick to the ground. Yay :)

This morning I woke up at 6 to go volunteer at the Salvation Army a few towns away. Jim, Chris, Jay(?), and I shoveled gravel on a driveway for four hours. It was a good workout, and the driveway looked much better once we were done. I made it back to West Point just in time to be picked up by Mrs D., my ocf group leader, to eat lunch at her house with her and the kids. It was delicous, and I enjoyed meeting the kids again. After that I had about an hour to relax/get ready to go to the Passion concert in NYC with Jim and Joey. The concert was really good, except I have an Africa in my life that I'm having trouble with.
Plus, my mind was wandering a lot. It's been doing that more recently when I pray, and I don't like it. I want to be focused on God, not on anything else. So frustrating.

An Africa is something that you are worried God will ask you to do if you give your whole life to him. It comes from people being worried that God will tell them that he wants them to give up everything and go be a missionary in Africa.

I'm the founding member of CFBG(IF), Cadets For Black Gloves (In Formation). So far there is a membership of about five or six. Everyone I've told about it has agreed to join.

What is wrong with wearing black gloves at lunch formation? Is it against the law? It's 37 degrees out (26 degrees this morning, but we got to wear black gloves). I don't mind cold weather...if my hands and feet are warm. When I was little I could go out and run around in the snow in shorts and a t-shirt because my hands were warm. I naturally have cold hands and feet, but if they are warm, I am warm. Now, when it is cold out and I have a choice of what to wear, I know how to wear clothes that don't let the cold and the wind seep right through them. The As For Class uniform, however, is not made that way, and even the slightest bit of wind or cold air zips right on through.

CONGRATULATIONS ANNE!

Anne, one of my best friends, won a Marshall Scholarship. I'm so happy for her. She's worked extremely hard for it, and I am so proud of her. YAY ANNE!

During Beast I thought my dream job would be sitting in an air conditioned office at a desk all day, but now I think that would be a nightmare unless it was a job that I really really loved, and understand. Perhaps that is my biggest problem. Most of my experiance with having to sit at a desk all day, or at least for long stretches at a time, has been while doing things I don't understand and feel frustrated and clueless as to how to go about understanding/accomplishing them. Thus, I can't wait for the end of the day when I can leave that desk behind and get outside into the fresh air.

This all relates to my senior capstone project. I feel a little like a useless third wheel, that is a square, not a circle. I just sit there.

And on that note, I leave Monday with my project partners to go to a conference on PKI in Orlando and present our project to the NSA, DOD, and whoever else wants to listen in.

Happy 200th night :)

Forgiveness, what an amazing gift.

1) release from bondage or imprisonment

2) forgiveness or pardon, of sins (letting them go as if they had never been committed), remission of the penalty

(Strongs)

The view from my window is beautiful.

Last night when I I got back to West Point after the race it was about 11:30 pm. I went and put some trash in a garbage can, and when I looked up all I could say was "Wow!" The night sky in front of me appeared to envelop the earth, and the stars in the sky were more dazzeling then I remembered. I spent the walk to my room with my head tilted up towards the sky looking at all the stars.

BTW, my boat got 4th in our race, and beat every other college/university team in the race. It was club teams that got us. Don't they know that is what the club entry is for?

Whatever happened to wearing gloves?

It is 42 degrees out right now and the uniform for lunch formation is BDU's. Not BDU's under field jacket, not even Bdu's wearing gloves. No, just BDU's...with the first class wearing sabers.

I just happened upon a friend, Charlie's, away messages, and it seemed to speak directly to me.

you're never really ready
you never have time,
you make time,
you're never mature enough

I doubt he had any idea that when he put that up as his away message it would speak to someone, let alone me, but it did, especially in regards to a post from a few days ago. Not that it really changes anything, but it's food for thought.

The meeting with Amanda and Mrs. D. was just what I needed to get me through today. Today was our first weekly meeting where we get together for an hour of discussion, Bilble Study, and prayer. It was great.

Today is acting like a Wednesday.

A couple of weeks, or maybe it was months, ago I wrote about how I had decided that "I wanted to try and not focus on guys/relationships and not date anyone for at least the next three months." Well, over the past three months I've done a lot of praying, thinking, and reading, and come to some realizations about myself and where I am. I used to think that I was ready for a relationship, and that the only thing I was waiting for was for the right guy to show up. However, I now believe that even if Mr. Right did show up right now I'd have to send him away and tell him to come back later.

Although I still sometimes wish I were in a relationship right now, most of the time I no longer feel that longing. That is not to say that I do not hope to one day be in one, however, I am not mature enough to be in one, nor do I have the time or energy for one at the moment.

When I say that I am not mature enough for a relationship, what I am mostly talking about is spiritually maturity. This semester I've been trying to put God first, draw closer to Him, read the Bible more, grow in my faith, and learn as much as I can. I've felt like God has been telling me that I'm in a period of growing and waiting right now, and to focus my time on Him and not even look for a relationship.

I know that if a guy entered the picture right now I would not be able to handle it, because I would end up letting the time I spent with either God or the guy slip, and it most likely would be God. Therefore, I have no interest in a relationship at the moment.

I don't know how long this period will last for me, but I am fine with however long it takes, as long as God remains number one in my life.

I need to learn how to love God and others, and also accept God's love.
I need to learn how to put God first at all times in all things.
I need to have a more personal relationship with Jesus.
I need to grow in my faith and become more firm in my beliefs.

Any thoughts?

I voted, did you?

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep