Relaxing Saturday

Saturday was another lazy Saturday, which is exactly what I needed after the past couple of weeks. At 2pm I was still in my PJs. I woke up around 9:30am, but after getting up and eating breakfast I went back to bed for about two hours. The only activity that I did all day was going on a little over a 9.8 mile run with Jordan in the afternoon.

Last week was a three-day work week due to Monday and Friday being training holidays, but I was scheduled for Brigade Staff Duty (SDO) on Wednesday. Another officer ended up wanting to trade days with me because she had it Friday and I reluctantly agreed to switch with her. It ended up working out perfectly because I was able to have dinner with my dad on Wednesday evening. Thursday was the BN hail and farewell, after which I went to a pre-St. Patty’s day party at Christy’s house. I arrived a couple hours late and only stayed for an hour due to having staff duty the next day. Friday, of course, I had staff duty which lasted from 8am Friday morning to 8am Saturday morning (no sleep). After my shift was complete on Saturday I went home and got about four hours of sleep before some of my friends and I headed down to Austin for the Star of Texas Fair and Rodeo. It was my first time seeing a rodeo and I rather enjoyed the whole thing, though Jordan thinks they are rather cruel. Jordan, Zack, and Andrea all left before the rodeo, but Amy, Willy, Heather, and I all stayed.

This past week was my first full five-day week as a platoon leader. I am really enjoying the job and my soldiers. The issues that arise are completely different than anything I ever had to deal with as an S2, but working with soldiers is so much more enjoyable. Closeout formation is usually mid-afternoon, but most days this week I ended up staying till 6pm or 7pm for different reasons. On Thursday I was at work until 7pm, then rushed home, quickly changed my clothes, went out for a 5 mile run, came back showered, ate dinner, and went to bed. Today is the first day where I have a little time to relax and unwind.

The week wore me out because I am trying to learn my new job which involves trying to process a ton of information that is completely new to me, as well as trying to sort out my emotions on a personal matter. If only I didn’t think so deeply about things.

Yet Another Very Vauge Post

My emotions and thoughts are all over the board right now. Thursday afternoon I recieved a call from one of my friends giving me some news that normally would've been out of the blue, save for the fact that I had a dream about the exact thing a couple days or more before hand. My dream had seemed so real that a couple of times, including when I was driving to Waco to have dinner with my Dad on Wednesday, I started wondering how the people involved in the dream were handeling the situation and hoped they were doing okay because it had to be very hard on both of them. Then, I would remember that it was just a dream. Needless to say, when I learned the news that it shocked me and all I could say was, "wow," over and over again. My friend who told me the news made me promise to not mention it to anyone, so my usual method/outlet of sorting through my emotions and thoughts aloud to my friends is not avaliable. On Friday I had BDE staff duty, which left me far too much time to think and ponder the situation. The whole day I felt like I was in emotional shock and also wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, but of course that was not an option. Instead I spent a lot of time staring off into space and probably looked very tired and worn-out.

I have no idea why I am reacting the way I am to the news. I guess when people you really care about are hurting you hurt too. It's also bringing back a lot of memories from the past year and I feel like I'm going through the same struggle that I went through at the end of October and not knowing the outcome of it all, wondering what God has planned in all of this, wondering if there is any hope for me in the future, yet feeling bad for wondering that at a time like this.

Running for Peace of Mind

If I didn't think so much I would have a lot less drama and frustration in my life. Yesterday I planned to go for a 5 mile run, but after I reached the turn around point I stopped and watched the sun setting for a bit and then walked back to the apartment. It was while I was walking back that I realized that when I run I don't think very much. In fact, usually what happens is one line of the most recent song that I've listened to repeats itself over and over again in my head the entire run. Instead of being annoying I find it helps me concentrate on running. I find it nearly impossible to think deeply while running. I say all this because the other 99% of my life I spend contemplating things that more often than not are things that I do not need to spend hours upon hours over-analyzing. I wish I could turn off my mind and not think so much sometimes.

I'd write more, but it's getting late. Guten nacht.