Yet Another Very Vauge Post

My emotions and thoughts are all over the board right now. Thursday afternoon I recieved a call from one of my friends giving me some news that normally would've been out of the blue, save for the fact that I had a dream about the exact thing a couple days or more before hand. My dream had seemed so real that a couple of times, including when I was driving to Waco to have dinner with my Dad on Wednesday, I started wondering how the people involved in the dream were handeling the situation and hoped they were doing okay because it had to be very hard on both of them. Then, I would remember that it was just a dream. Needless to say, when I learned the news that it shocked me and all I could say was, "wow," over and over again. My friend who told me the news made me promise to not mention it to anyone, so my usual method/outlet of sorting through my emotions and thoughts aloud to my friends is not avaliable. On Friday I had BDE staff duty, which left me far too much time to think and ponder the situation. The whole day I felt like I was in emotional shock and also wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, but of course that was not an option. Instead I spent a lot of time staring off into space and probably looked very tired and worn-out.

I have no idea why I am reacting the way I am to the news. I guess when people you really care about are hurting you hurt too. It's also bringing back a lot of memories from the past year and I feel like I'm going through the same struggle that I went through at the end of October and not knowing the outcome of it all, wondering what God has planned in all of this, wondering if there is any hope for me in the future, yet feeling bad for wondering that at a time like this.