I am very frustrated. I do not understand CS308 Computer Organization, or CS385 Design and Analysis of Algorithms. In CS385 the book doesn't make sense, the teacher doesn't make sense, and I am totally clueless. AAAAHHH! I don't understand VHDL code, although I am starting to grasp the concept of the project that I have due in, oh, 16 hours. This is so very frustrating. Why do I suck at this so much? Did I choose the wrong major? Am I magically supposed to have figured out how to code everything and prove everything on my own, so that all they have to teach me is how to undertand the concept of the problem?

In PL300 we learn that challenging people is good because it makes them more preductive. However, I am being challenged to the point where I want to just give up and throw my books out the window. These aren't brain stimulating problems for me, they are brain crushing, overload that leave me a psychotic mess with no work done at all because I don't even understand half of what the problem is asking.

Do I care about QuickSort, or the 3 billion other sorting techniques I supposeldy learned. No way! Why? Because who cares if it is NlogN or N^2. Big O-notation, inductive proofs, substitution method, dynamic progaming. What is dynamic programing? It's my teacher standing up at the board writing more stuff down with little boxes filled with numbers and different number trees, while I sit there trying to understand one tiny bit of what he is saying, and failing horrible. I must be as dumb as a rock. The book offers little to absolutely no help. And even if I can find the topic I'm looking for in it, I don't understand how the book is trying to explain it to me.

Basically, those classes suck for me and are making my life miserable. I needed to vent, or else I would be testing my algorithms book to see if it had wings as I threw it out the window.

YAY! Anne is a Truman Scholarship finalist. She goes for her final interview in March. She's one of my best friends, and my dinner buddy. It's so cool being able to say I know her. It's quite a privalige. Way to go, Anne! Good luck with the Rhoades, Marshall, and everything else next year. Better you than me. Truman Finalists

The Toby Keith concert was awesome. It was the best one I've been to here so far, of course the only other ones I've only seen here are Dave Matthews and OAR. The Sunday we get back from Spring Break John Mayer is coming here and having a concert. Adam and I went and got tickets for that one as well. A few songs into the concert tonight Toby took a break between songs and announced the best news of the night. He told he talked to the Supe and SAMI is canceled tomorrow. Every cadet in there started yelling at the top of their lungs, jumping up and down, giving high fives to each other, hugging each other, and had the biggest grins on their faces. I was no exception to that. It made my night, not that the concert alone didn't make it. I think the civilians, as well as Toby and the rest of the band, were a bit lost as to why we went crazy wild. I think Toby won over the hearts of the whole corps tonight by telling us the news of no SAMI.

Scotty Emerick opened for Toby and they sang a few songs together. That was cool.

Anne and I were the only two varsity members to show up to the afternoon practice today instead of the morning practice. We skipped out early to help Coach K get ready for a history banquet, but made it back down to the boathouse in time for the pizza with the novies.

Seeing as to how I now don't have to stay up all night cleaning and dusting every nook and cranny in the room for SAMI tomorrow, I think I shall go to bed. Yay!

Today was a Thayer day, but I didn't even realize it until it was almost over. Last night at midnight I had a CS403 resubmit of project 2 due. Then, this morning I had a homework set in CS380, a homework set in CS385, a project in CS350, and a WPR in PL300. I think the wpr went pretty well.

Tomorrow looks like a much easier day. In the morning I'm going to the Prayer Breakfast instead of practice,and so I'm going to the novie's practice in the afternoon. I don't have anything due tomorrow, which is really nice. Then, in the evening, Adam and I are going to the Toby Keith concert :) The only bad part of tomorrow is that there's another SAMI on Saturday and so my roommates and I will be up late cleaning after the concert.

I should be reading Mil Art right now or folding laundry, but tonight I haven't felt like doing any work. That's kinda bad since I'm supposed to be in BAG by tomorrow morning. In order to do that I have to dump out all of the drawers of my dresser and refold and rearrange all of my clothes. Fun times.

I was getting a foam frisbee out of my overhead this evening and when realized that a nutra-grain bar I had up there was ripped open and had a bunch of bites out of it with crumbs around. The mouse has moved from Jillians overhead to mine. I was stupid and forgot about the fact that we have that problem, so I hadn't put the cereal bar in my boodle box. You live and you learn.

Awesome weekend, great retreat, really good worship time, great speaker and message, tons of fun with my friends, boyfriend, people I am just getting to know, and people I consider basically my second family. Snow tubbing, line dancing, s'more making, singing, praying, sharing, ping pong, taboo, puzzles, sleep, books, learning, growing, sweeping, table setting, lady bug finding, children chasing, being tooken to jail by a three year old superhero, good conversations, laughing, crying, smiling, eating, fun.

This is a long 4 day week. We get Friday and Monday off of school for President's day, but Thursday afternoon is taking forever in getting here. I'm going on the OCF retreat with a bunch of people in my OCF group. From what I've heard, iIt sounds like it should be a lot of fun.

This week is kind of a Thayer week for me. This morning I had practice and then a Mil Art WPR first hour. I did really bad on the multiple choice and matching section, but I'm hoping that my essay was okay. Tomorrow I'm the assistant female transient barracks guard, so I'm hoping no girls are outproccessing right now. I also have two different project meetings with teachers and am supposed to help escort around a group of 4th graders at lunch.

Two weeks ago I felt like I was really improving and doing well in crew. Now I feel like I"m one of the slowest people on the team. Coach changed my rowing style a little and so now getting my splits down to where they were before seems to be really hard. It is very frustrating.

In the words of Anne, "I know, it sucks having people that care about you." I was bemoaning the fact that the S's found out from Jordan that I am a little sick and could possibly have strep. Their boys all have it, and since I've been around them recently, it is very possible that I caught it. I'm feeling a lot better than I was yesterday morning. Yesterday at the very beginning of 4th hour I ended up asking my teacher if i could either go back to my room or go to the health clinic. He let me, and so I wen to the health clinic. I didn't get to see an actual doctor, but they did give me a ton of over the counter cold medicine which helped. I took it, and after my nap after lunch my fever was down and I felt a lot better. Today I feel even better, except for a scratchy throat.

Two days ago I ordered my ring. It's a 14k white gold women's ring, with diamond dividers, and an 8 diamond cluster surrounding an iolite gemstone. I was happy because the cost came to $1670, which was $130 less than I expected.

A new Joe Bear episode was sent out last night. It'll be online sometime in the future.

I feel like crap. Stupid cold.

Happy Groundhog's day. The groundhog saw his shadow. 6 more weeks of winter ahead. Woohoo! Does he ever not see his shadow?

It's probably going to be a late night. Blah. It's my own falt. I still procrastinate too much.

Yester the S's had us over for the Super Bowl. Good friends, good food, good times.

Naturally flavored sparkiling water is one of the greast things on earth, at least in my opinion. I wish they sold it at Grant, or had vending machines selling it.

Yesterday morning my desktop computer mouse died. I think something went wrong with the wiring, because if I jiggled it around it would kind of start working again, but not very well or for very long. I ended up going to the PX later in the day with Adam and buying a new one. It is a Mircrosoft Wireless IntelliMouse Explorer 2.0. So far I like it and it seems to be working well.

Adam and I also bought a rubber rat to stick in Jillian's overhead. When she was cleaning for SAMI she found mouse droppings in there and freaked out. She had Mike come over and clean them out, while Alyson and I watched and laughed, and were kinda grossed out, as he procceded to pretend he saw a mouse, or pretent to eat the droppings, or take the half eaten cookies and shove them towards her and scare her. What a nice guy....or not. Alyson approved of the idea of hiding the rat in her overhead as a practical joke. I just hope she still talks to me afterwords. Ah well, if she doesn't immediatly, she will eventually.

SAMI and MAMI went well. The MAMI only took about 40 minutes becuase it only invovled cleaning the already clean dayroom. I went to bed at 2am the night before because we were up cleaning, and so I was pretty tired in the morning after the MAMI. My room had already been checked, and we were told it was a good room. The RTO was supposed to come through the company area, but the communication broke down somewhere and so nobody in the regiment knew that he had broncittus and wouldn't be inspecting. Due to that fact there was a lot of confusion about whether SAMI was still going on. Nobody was inspecting anymore, but we were kept in SAMI until about 10:40. Yesterday morning was a perfect example of how bitterness becomes prevalent here. Mainly it is due to indecision and a lack of communication.

Last night Annah, Anne, Leah, and I went over to the Hanlons and Annah cooked dinner and I helped her. We made a Thai dish and one other dish. It was fun and turned out pretty well.