Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Yesterday I was talking to Bea-hob on IM and he asked me if there was anything that I would die for. The things that came to mind were God, family, country. He then asked me a question that really made me think. He asked me what it means to die for God, and how I translate that into everyday actions. Thinking about having to actually die for my faith is the easy part, in part because I am not currently faced with that possibilty. However, as Bea-hob reminded me, I am called to die each day for God, so to speak. How that is done is by living in Christ, not in the world. When he asked me that question I really wondered how I do die each day for Christ. I really struggle with sharing my faith, because I am worried about what other people will think. Will they think I am crazy, a hypocrite, a goody-two-shoes, someone who has no fun? Yet it shouldn't matter what other people think of me. The only one that matters is God, but so often I lose sight of that and am silent.

Totally different subject: This morning I learned how to pack a personal parachute. It was harder than I thought, and I found it much harder than packing the cargo parachutes. Since that only took the morning to do and get another tour of the pack shed, my LT let me go back to the hotel at lunch. This afternoon I went and saw The Stepford Wives. I wouldn't really recommend the movie. It was pretty strange.

2 days left :)

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Friends away message who is a PL for Beast: " today will be a significant emotional event for 1237 of the nation's brightest young people.....R-Day 2004. the hatred for 08 is super high right now"

Monday, June 28, 2004

I can't wait to get home, get away from everything, and be on vacation. It'd also be really nice to go backpacking away from everything again. Perhaps that is my new mode of escape. I love being out in the woods away from civilization, surrounded by hills or mountains, sleeping under the stars, or in a makeshift shelter, being able to be comfertable in silence with friends as we hike, preparing food over a hiking stove or a fire, collecting water from a stream, sitting on a rock outcropping watching the sun set, seeing for miles on the hill tops, being worried only about porcipines attacking at night, and getting away from daily trials, struggles, and problems. However, I don't think I'd enjoy backpacking if the pace had to be fairly fast in order to accomplish a certain distance, or get to a certain point. I need time to unwind and relax and go at my own pace.

I've found I have a love for hills and mountains, but along with that, or in addition to that, I have a love of clouds and the sky. There are so many times I wish I had a camera with me that could capture the majestic clouds and beauty of the sky. Whether they are wispy strands of clouds strung out like strands of cotten, or huge billows piled on each other like cotten balls stacked in the sky, I find them awe inspireing. When the sun is setting and it casts a pink and yellow hue throughout the sky, it almost takes my breath away. The beauty of the sky constently reminds me of God and how awesome he is. He created the sky and the clouds. He made the sun sets. He is the true artist.

Saturday, June 26, 2004

I've seen a few little bumper stickers around post that say "Army wife, the toughest job in the Army." Although I am still really young, and have a while before I have to really think about it, for years I've wondered about the women who are both Army wives and Army soldiers, because it is likely that I will someday end up in that catagory. They have to care for their family, and care for their soldiers. How do they manage? I'm always on the lookout for role models in that area. I just realized that here at Fort Bragg I have a unique oportunity to see how many women wear both titles of mother, wife, and soldier in dual military families. Both my sponser and company commander even fall in that cataory. Now that I've realized that, perhaps I can get some advice from them about it.
Less than a week left. I've learned some good stuff during CTLT, like the role of a platoon leader. Yesterday I had an office call with COL Hudson, who is the COSCOM commander. He gave me some good advice about being a soldier, officer, leader, and person. Hopefully I'll actually be able to remember it.

I talked to Misha yesterday, and he said he would probably be able to help me out with the mini-boot camp. He loves the army, and is even considering using the army as means to medical school, or something like that. I can't wait to hang out with him again.

My car is ready to be picked up, which means it will be waiting for me at my house when I get home next week. Yay!

I was mistake for a rigger this morning by some of the soldiers. We were packing flight bags to be airdropped at Fort Irwin, and I was showing them how do to it, because I learned yesterday, and since we had all taken off the bdu tops and were just in brown t-shirts, name and ranks were not visible. Once or twice they refered to me as "rigger." I had to tell them that I wasn't, and that I was just a cadet. They then asked me a lot of questions about being a cadet. Although a lot of them don't quite understand how it works, because they are conviced I'm here trying to figure out what MOS I want. Even though I don't really want to branch quatermaster, I think if I do somehow end up in the branch I want to be in a rigger unit.

It's been half a year since I've seen my sisters, but I'm going to get to see them in a few days. Yay! I guess this is kinda getting me ready for the future when it will be a year before I see my family again when I am deployed. This morning I remembered that Berry won't be there when I get home. That made me very sad thinking about her being gone, and how it will be different without her in the house when I get there.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Having had some extra time on my hands with nothing better to think about, I've started day dreaming about something. I think it would be cool to run a 1-day mini-boot camp for kids at my church, or other kids who'd be intersted, while I'm home. What I've thought about is teaching things like low-crawling, high-crawling, 3-5 second buddy rushes, and a little drill and ceremony. Throughout it I'd stress the importance of having a ranger buddy at all times, having self-disciplne, and respect for both people and equipment. This evening I searched online and found toy M16 rifles for around $8.00 each, 1 Qt canteens for under $2.00 each, and woodland camo baseball caps for $5.00 each. I figure that if I actually could get this thing to work, it'd cost about $15 per kid. I'd lose some money on it, but that way the cost would not be too daunting for anyone interested, plus the kids would come away with some cool gear, although it'd be imitation. It's just a dream, but it gives me something to think about, and it'd be really cool if I actually could get it to happen.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Due to a lack of anything better to do, I now have a very good uniform, especially my boots. I'll never be satisfied by the shine on my boots, but I'm getting better at it. First I start out with a good base of regular black shoe polish. I shine it as best as I can with that with a cloth. After I've got a good shine with the regular shoe polish, I add a top coat or two of lincoln wax black shoe polish. That makes the shine even more brilliant. After a few coats of that, I top it all off with Seal-a-shine. I discovered it at General Jackson's the other day. It's a liquid that "enhances and protects your shine, and serves as an excellent base for your next shine." I then edge dress the edges of the soles of the boots. The result is a shiny, black boot.

Today was another semi-interesting day. PT this morning was supposed to be combatives, but instead we did a regular muscle failure workout while in bdu's and boots. I then showered at the gym, drove to the pack shed, ate my breakfast, and read the Bible. At 9 I went into the pack shed to begin the work day. The morning I spent with the parachute maintanece guys learning how to patch a parachute, trying my hand at a little sewing, and then watching the guys sew for the rest of the morning. I was tempted to ask them if they ever thought that they would spend their time in the army sewing. For lunch I drove over to the mini-mall, parked my car, ate lunch and read some more of The Princess Bride, and then took a 30 min nap. At 12:45 I headed back to the pack shed, and entered it at 1pm. I spent the afternoon learning how to pack a 100 ft diameter, G-11 parachute. It has a load capacity of 5,000 lbs. Yesterday I learned how to pack the G-12 parachute, which is only 64 ft in diameter. My knife has come in very handy the past few days in the pack shed. There are tons of cords and strings that need to be cut when packing the parachutes. At 5 I headed back to the hotel. Yesterday I went over to Matt's and did a load of laundry, and he said I could do another load today at either his or Julia's place, but I'm feeling to lazy this evening to drive across town to do laundry. I'll wait till another day, or come up wtih $2.50 in quaters and do it here.

I'm liking this week more than the previous weeks because I get to actually do some stuff, plus interact a lot more with the soldiers. I didn't like the fact that before I barely even saw any of the soldiers in the platoon. Now these soldiers are actually teaching me how to do their job, plus I can ask them a ton of questions and get to know what it is like for them, and they have a lot of questions for me. Hopefully they won't lose all of their respect for me tomorrow at PT when they see how bad of a runner I am.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

This past week has been fun. I did the 10-mile race on Thursday and managed to run the whole way, although the last few miles were extremely slow, I spent a ton of time with John, Matt, and Julia, and spent hardly any time sitting bored in my hotel room. Matt took John and I to the special forces museum and the 82nd Airborne museum on Friday. On Saturday we went to General Jackson's, which is an awesome store, and they helped me pick out my first knife. I say first because although I have had Swiss Army Knives, and Gerber multi-tool things, this is my first good, single blade, no tools attached, knife. Hmm, I guess that would sound a little strange to anyone who isn't in the military or know anything about it. Knives are very useful, especially out in the field, for cutting rope, opening MRE's, whitteling wood during bored briefings, and flipping open and shut just for fun. Anyway, I ended up with a Spyderco knife, becuase John said some of his friends had them and they didn't have to sharpen them for 2 years. I've gotten a lot better at opening and closing it single handed. Don't worry Mom, I'm being safe.

This coming week the Battalion Commander is switching me to a Rigger unit so that I can experiance a wider range of what the Quartermaster Corps has to offer. I'm both glad and not so glad. I was getting used to the fact that there wasn't much to do before, and now I don't know what to expect. I also have to adjust to a new company. In any case, it should be a good experiance.

I'm looking forward to getting home and having some time with my family. Happy Fathers Day Dad :)

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Being able to hang out with John, Matt, and Julia in the evenings has made a world of difference. Matt and Julia are two LTs in Johns company. Yesterday they had a night airborne operation, and so John invited me to go along to see them jump and then pick them up. Since we didn't have to be at the drop zone until 11pm, we hung out before hand. We went out to dinner and then stopped by a store so I could pick up stuff to make butterscotch brownies, because I'd been craving those. Since John is staying at Matt's house, and Matt is a bachlor, I didn't expect to find any real baking supplies there, and I was right. When I was about halfway through making the brownies I couldn't find the flour or the baking powder. I remembered buying them, but they weren't in the house and they weren't in the car. It turns out that I left an entire bag of supplies at the checkout. Needless to say, the brownie batter ended up going down the sink :( Hopefully I'll be able to make them tonight.

After that we watched a movie and proceeded to have a drawn out pillow fight throught the course of the movie. It turned into him trying to use combative moves on me since he had just had the class that year. I had it two years ago, and so I didn't remember the moves as well, or how to get out of them, and ended up having to tap out a few times. It was good exercise though, which I counted as my PT for today even though it was the night before. I got back from the jump around 2:30am, and so I was excused from PT in the morning.

Tomorrow I'm running in the Army Birthday 10-miler. I've run 7 miles before, but I don't think I've run 10 at one time. I'm not that nervous because it is not something that I have to finish in the certain time. My goal is just to finish, especially since I have not been running a ton.

Friday is another day off. Yay :)

Monday, June 14, 2004

This weekend turned out pretty well. A downpayment was put down on a car, I went to a BBQ, I went to Church, and I made some friends. The BBQ was held by the West Point Parents Club around here. I got there pretty late, but still had a chance to talk to some old grads who have decided to write to the Comm about the living situation the cadets are in here at Fort Bragg. I'm not complaining about that.

I'd say today was the highlight of the week. I found an LCMS Church online that is in Fayetteville, so I decided to go there this morning. It took me much longer that it should have to get there because I made a lot of wrong turns. Perhaps later I'll write about a lesson I've been learning. Anyway, it was really nice to go to Church again, because I haven't been in a few weeks. After the service I noticed one of the ushers was wearing a sports jacket with a West Point crest on it plus a ring, so I asked him what class he was. It turns out he was class of '55. We talked for a few minutes, and I felt much better about having found some little connection at the Church.

Later in the day I realized that I'd forgotten to turn my cell phone back on after church, and so when I turned it on I had a message from Anthea. I'd talked to her on Saturday and we'd discussed how both of us didn't really know anybody else on CTLT, and so life was pretty boring. It turns out her ex-boyfriend, who she is still really good friends with, is at bragg for CTLT and also happens to be rather bored. She called and left me his cell phone number and told me to call him if I was ever bored and wanted to go out. About 15 minutes later I got a phone call, and it was the guy, John. Anthea had given him my number as well, and so he decided to call me. We ended up going and seeing Troy, although John had already seen it once. He's a very nice guy, and it sure beat another night sitting in my room. He's staying at his sponser's house which is closer to post, and so I met his sponser as well. They invited me to go over to their house anytime, and also invited me to go bowling with them on Tuesday, and also to do stuff on Friday. It's so nice to finally have people to do stuff with here.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

YAY! I'm getting a car. It's a black 1998 Jeep Cherokee. :)

Saturday, June 12, 2004

One of my friends from school has invited me to alaska for a few days this summer. I think it would be awesome to go because I am very interested in seeing the state, but time is a problem. I don't know how well it would work into my schedule with everything else. I really hope to go there sometime, because so far it sounds like the perfect place. Not humid, lots of mountains, scenic, northern lights, and a bit of an untamed feel. Perhaps I'll try and post there.

It's raining outside right now with a bit of a thunderstorm :)

Friday morning I slept in till 11:30am. I haven't slept in that late in months. In fact, I don't remember the last time I slept in that late. Thursday morning I woke up at 7:30am on my own. Sleep patterns sure change fast.
This evening I attended a Hail and Farewell for the battalion that I'm with. It was pretty boring, although the food was okay. Basically all the officers and E7s and above were there. The captain sitting next to me was trying to convince to get a beer. Riiiiiight, like that's going to happen.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

I finally got my rental car tonight. It is a silver toyota highlander. So far I love it, although I've only had a chance to drive it home from the airport. Yay for the freedom a car brings:)

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

No more wisdom....teeth. I had my top two wisdom teeth removed today, and they probably would have done the bottom two as well, except those ones never formed. The event has turned my 3 day weekend into a 5 day weekend, although today is going to be spend in bed probably sleeping and trying to avoid drooling blood stains on the sheets. What fun what fun for everyone, and a man to be eaten by a lion. That last sentence is a line I had in my second grade play, but I figure the first half is appropriate at least.
Great news! My rental car orders finally came in. Tomorrow I go and pick up my car. I could go tonight, but I got back from the airborne operation kinda late, and I have no transportation out to the airport. Plus, I have a million other things to do, like laundry, ironing, dinner, sleep, etc... I'm so happy :)
It's all the pain of strep throat, without the sickness. Yes, my wisdom tooth is finally making itself very evident. Tomorrow I'm hopefully headed in to get it looked at. As far as I can tell, I believe it is coming in sideways sticking out into my cheek. I'd be optimistic and say it'll get better, but since it gets worse as the tooth comes in more, I'm thinking I'll try and get it removed and not have to deal with it. Really, I don't mind it that much. It's better than being actually sick, or any numerous other things.

In other news, the airborne operation today was awesome. I had no idea so much went into one. I was in the Battalion Commander's humvee and he made sure that I got to see the cool stuff. I was allowed onto the C-17 with the safteys before take-off, and handed out earplugs to the soldiers on the plane. Then, I got to go to the drop zone, and actually be right on the drop zone as they parachuted down. We were so close that the humvees had to be running every time and we had to stand out of the way of them in case one of them was in the way of a soldier landing. The first one landed about 25 meters from where we were. It was so cool seeing them drop straight overhead.

Friday is a national day of mourning for President Reagen, so the big question of the week is "does that make it a training holiday?" So far I've heard both that it is, and that it is not. Guess I'll find out sometime.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

I love my parents :)
Today was a better day than last week. It started out with a 4 mile run, where I once again realized how out of running shape I really am. The only thing that will take is more running. The rest of the morning was spent in the motorpool. In the afternoon I took a range control class, which was pretty easy and took up 2 hours. After that the day was basically over because I just followed my LT around base while she did different LT type things. Tomorrow I get to ride with the Battalion Commander and view an airborne operation. I'm hoping that I get to do the ruck march in the morning for PT. On Thursday I'm going to the range to qualify again on an M16. That should be cool because I'll get a chance to use my left eye, which has become my dominate I in the last 2 years. On Friday I'm going to dental sick call to get one of my wisdom teeth looked at. I thought it was coming in fine, but in the past few days I've found that it is coming in at an angle and started to hurt my cheek.

I've discovered a new way to work on my hand-eye coordination. In order to be able to go to the bathroom I must first be able to catch and smash the 6 or so mosquitoes flying around in the tiny space. My roommate and I finally discovered the way they were getting into the room, the bathroom ceiling. We covered up what we thought was the hole because it was the one that light was coming through, but they have discovered another one today. Perhaps I'll start keeping a tally of the number I kill each day. I think I'm around 8-10 today so far.

I hope John is back and has good news about my orders for a car.

Thanks to Heidi, my list of books to read, or read again in most cases is:
-The Princess Bride
-some book that has Lethal Poison, or maybe it's Deadly Poison, or perhaps I'm compeltely off in the title, but it's another one she suggested.
- Any other books people suggest. Sorry Heidi if I forgot some other books. Can you tell me again what they were if I missed any, and feel free to keep the suggestions coming.

Things to do tonight, in no particular order:
- find John and ask him about the orders
- i hope, i hope, i hope, rent a car
- call my LT
- email angelo saying I'll go the the bbq
- call parents
- call Frank
- do laundry
- read
- sleep

I miss Joe Bear :(

Monday, June 07, 2004

One weekend down, a few more to go. This weekend was spent sleeping, reading, watching a ton of tv, and sitting by the pool. Although it sounds fun at first, it gets pretty boring. Hopefully my orders to rent a car will come tomorrow and life will improve. There's not much else to write about.

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Yay! I'm online again :) Fayetville is pretty boring right now. I've been spending a ton of time reading and watching tv. I'm almost out of books to read, and getting very tired of tv and my room. Hopefully things will improve soon.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Backpacking this past weekend in the Catskills with Leah and Celio was a lot of fun. I think it was just what I needed. There were a lot of people out on some of the trails because of the Memorial Day holiday, but there was still the feeling of being away from everything, a place of solitude, and no phones, tv's, computers, mirrors, or worries about what other people thought. Besides one or two scares with wild animals at night, it was pretty unevenful. We saw a wolf...but he was on a leash. It was nice getting our water from streams, setting up a shelter at night with ponchos instead of a tent, sleeping on the ground, eating cambells soup with rice and either peanuts or tuna added, and not showering for three days. I am serious with I saw I really enjoyed it. It was nice to shower once we got back, but I didn't mind the time in between because none of us cared.

The weekend was a lot more fun than camping the week before, because there wasn't the worry about being bored, I dind't feel like I had to talk at all, we all were just kinda lost in our thoughts a lot of the time. Some of the views were awesome. I really liked the fact that it felt like real camping, not like the fake camping last weekend. That was fun to spend time with those friends, but it wasn't what I needed as a vacation. I came back almost feeling more exhausted last weekend than when I had left. This weekend I came back feeling much more rejuvenated, and I also felt like I got a lot more exercise this weekend. Hiking all day can make you sore.

Tomorrow I leave fore CTLT, the unknown. After that I have a few weeks at home, and then I'm off again to Fort Bragg for SMULT. I'm hoping it will be one of the best summers I've ever had.