Jet Lag and 4 Months

Dear Ava,

It's just past 5 AM and you are actually asleep in your crib. Normally that would not be an  amazing fact, but ever since our return from Korea both of our sleeping schedules have been all over the place.  Over the past few days you have decided that 2:30 PM to around 2:30 AM is your optimal sleep time. You go into such a deep sleep that I can walk around the house with you and you don't even wake up. The downside is that I am just as jet lagged as you, but on a slightly different sleep schedule.

Grandma F has been so wonderful about taking care of you for a few hours at different times of the day so that I can get some much needed sleep. I am not sure how I would manage right now if we lived by ourselves without Daddy or Grandparents around.

I am also very thankful that you and I are getting a huge jump start on getting over the jet lag before Daddy comes back for Christmas. I can't imagine what it would be like trying to travel and enjoy time with family if all three of us were jet lagged.

It's hard to believe that today is your 4-month birthday. Where has the time gone? (It passed in a sleep deprived fog, that's where). You are getting better at tolerating tummy time for longer stretches these days. You also reach out and grab toys whilst on your tummy. Though you aren't rolling over yet, you do love standing when supported. You also love to squeal, coo, and babble (especially around 3 AM). Pacifiers still don't interest you, but I am seeing more and more of you gnawing on one or two of your fingers. You are also quite the drool machine. Baths immediately calm you down and make you happy (until it is time to get out of the bath) and bouncing is still one of your other favorite calming activities.

You have your 4-month well baby appointment on Friday. I'm looking forward to seeing how much you have grown. I think you are just over 12 lbs and I have no idea how long you are these days.

Happy 4-month birthday!

Thanksgiving 2013

Dear Ava,

Happy Thanksgiving!  While our Thanksgiving celebration here in Korea is drawing to a close (in fact, Daddy is busy trying to get you back to sleep right now), the holiday for our extended family in the US is just beginning.

The day started out with you wide awake for over 1.5 hours at 4 AM this morning. I love seeing and kissing your cute face but I also love sleep. Can you hold off on playtime for a few more hours in the future?

Late in the morning Daddy got all dressed up in his dress uniform (ASU) to go serve Thanksgiving dinner (or lunch) to the Soldiers in the dining facility. While he was gone you kept me well occupied by napping in my arms for 1.5 hours and then having a blowout diaper that required an entire outfit change. At least you gave me a reason to put you in your cute duck outfit.

We had a very low-key day after Daddy got back from serving dinner.  At church on Sunday we were invited to a Thanksgiving dinner that one of the families hosted, but your Daddy and I didn't feel up for going. In the late afternoon we all went for a short walk outside despite the below freezing temperature. It served a two-fold purpose in that it was a family activity and it also helped you get a much needed nap.

Though turkey is the traditional turkey for our Thanksgiving dinner, we (at Daddy's suggestion) opted for spicy lasagna along with cheesy potato casserole and Hawaiian sweet rolls.

When I asked your Daddy what he is thankful for from the past year he said the huge life-changing events that he never expected. I take that to mainly mean you. While last November 1st we could never have imagined all of the events and changes the next 12 months would bring, you coming into our lives is a huge joy and blessing to everyone. We love you!

Sleep in Korea

Dear Ava,

I just put you down for a nap and I am hoping that it is a long nap, but it probably will be much shorter than I would like.

You are finally sleeping through the night again and I am very thankful for that. A combination of putting you to bed a little later every night (started at 3 or 4 pm the first day) and you wearing size 2 baby dry diapers at night are the main reasons why I am able to get some sleep again. Prior to the switch to size 2 at night, you would wake up every 1.5 or so hours from midnight until I finally gave up on trying to get sleep and got up for the day. Since you are still under 12 lbs, there is some poop leakage in the legs on the size 2 but it is not nearly enough to warrent me having you back in size 1 at night. A tiny spot of poop on your onesie is well worth 6-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

We have been in Korea with Daddy now for 12 or so days and I have only managed to step on the treadmill twice. The first time was just that - one single step - before you awoke and started crying. The second time I managed to jog 0.87 miles before your nap ended. I really hope that when you are a little older (at least 6 months) and the weather is decent enough for it that you will enjoy riding in a jogging stroller.

Since I am not getting much exercise via the treadmill I try to take you on walks in the afternoon. The temperature is often in the high 30s or low 40s and so people who see us may think I am crazy for taking you out. What they can't see is that you are often fast asleep, having fallen asleep after only a few steps outside. Your car seat cover as well as the combination of the car seat and stroller shades keep you warm and protected from any wind. The fresh air does us both some good and helps us pass the time until Daddy gets home from work. It is so nice to be able to spend time with him every day.

Spit-Up

Dear Ava,

You had a huge projectile spit up as we came down stairs this morning. It required clothing changes for both of us and some carpet cleaning. Thankfully, I took the brunt of it and so it wasn't too much carpet cleaning. I was kinda amused that I was thankful that I was the one massively covered in spit up instead of you or the carpet. I never thought that seeing spit up all over myself would be a thankful occurrence, but parenthood definitely changes perspectives.

At least you were very happy and smiling a lot just prior to spitting up.

Gunnery

Dear Ava,

One day down, a little over five weeks to go until we can talk to Joe/Daddy again.

He headed out to gunnery with his unit and won't return until sometime in mid-October. Even though he is already over 5000 miles away, it is hard to go from being able to talk to him every morning (night his time) and sending texts back and forth to not being able to talk at all for a while.

Due to his unit's rules, he isn't supposed to use his personal electronic devices (iPhone, iPad, etc.). However, he may be able to sneak us some texts or a phone call occasionally and he is able to check his military email account every so often.

In the days leading up to his leaving we talked on Skype so that he could see us and we could see him. Usually we only get to talk on Skype on the weekends due to the time difference. Even though everyone involved was super tired (in fact, you slept the entire time both times), it was nice to see him and I know he really enjoyed seeing you.

The next time he sees you on Skype you will look so different. Then, when he is able to see you in person a few weeks later you will be extremely different from the tiny newborn that he said goodbye to back in August.  

 I've been sending him pictures of you every day and will continue to do that while he is in the field so that he can stay up to date with how much you are growing. I know it must be hard for him to be so far away from you. 

He constantly asks about you and always wants more pictures and videos of you. 

Only a couple more months until we see him in person!

Sleep...Or Lack Thereof

Dear Ava,

You love to snuggle and sleep while someone is holding you. You look so cute when you sleep that way. However, sleeping in your crib at night is very much appreciated so that I can get some sleep myself.

The past couple of nights you seem to have a hard time going to sleep between 9 PM and midnight. Once that magical time hits you get very fussy unless I can figure out the right combination of nursing, bouncing, snuggling, diaper changing, and noise level. Should I fail at any of those or should the combination either change or your mind change about what the perfect combination consists of, crying ensues.

Once midnight hits you usually drift off into a deep sleep and I can safely get ready for bed and finally close my eyes for a couple hours.

I then can pretty much expect you to wake up and need to be changed and fed sometime around 2 AM (if you fell asleep before midnight), 3 AM, 5AM and then 7 AM. The length of time you are awake during those intervals varies each night.

On the good nights you quickly go back to sleep, which means I can go back to sleep as well. On the much less fun nights, you either only drift into a light sleep and wake up when I put you down, or you stay fully awake and alert for an hour or more.

The past two nights were rough nights.

Two nights ago you woke up around 3 AM and appeared like you were going back to sleep fairly quickly after being fed. In reality, you stayed awake for hours, occasionally drifting into a light sleep where I could put you down but you would squirm and make a lot of noise in your sleep (waking yourself up and not allowing me to sleep).

That lasted until sometime past 6 AM.

Last night you went to sleep very easily with only a minimal amount of bouncing/nursing/diaper changes/noise reduction needed.

In fact, I was in bed by 10:45 PM which is a new record for me. Though you did wake up hungry shortly after that, you went back to sleep very easily after you were fed. You must have laughed at my thought that it would be an easy night.

From 1:30 AM to 4 AM you were awake with what appeared to be gas pains. I felt so bad for you since you would fall asleep only to be woken a minute later crying in discomfort.

Finally, at 4 AM you drifted off while nursing and stayed asleep enough for me to put you back in your crib.

One thing that I can almost always count on is that you will wake up right around 7 AM no matter how much or how little you have slept.

The past two morning were no different. After 7 AM you may drift back to sleep, but only if I am holding you. Should I put you down and try to get some more sleep myself, you will wake up within about 10-20 minutes.

While holding you I am usually still in bed myself. Your favorite activity seems to be squirming your way up towards my neck and seeing how far into my neck you can burrow the top of your head. I'm not sure why you do this since you are usually asleep, but I find it amusing.

As much as I miss sleep, I am so glad that you are here. That fact that you are so adorable, especially in the middle of the night, certainly helps a lot.

Bath Success

Dear Ava,

Last night you have a very successful bath. You almost seemed to enjoy it and amazing did not cry at all!

The success may be due to a number of factors to include a different baby bath tub, a foam bath tub insert to keep you warm, a higher water level, and the white noise of water running.

The bath tub I used in the bath disaster of August 2013 was a First Years Infant to Toddler bath tub with newborn sling.  Both times I used the tub you screamed bloody murder. The sling was cold and awkward to use, the water level wasn't high enough, and overall it was a miserable experience for both of us.

Yesterday I stumbled upon the Primo Euro-Bath and loved what I read in the reviews. One twenty percent off coupon later to Bye Bye Baby it was ours.

Getting ready for the bath and posing for pictures to send to daddy. Grandma F is holding you.

There wasn't a single cry heard from you the entire bath time. I was so proud of you and so thankful for the new bath tub.

Immediately post-bath.

 

While you didn't poop in the bath water this time, you did keep up your tradition of pooping in the towel sans diaper while Grandma F is holding you right after the bath.

I think this was the second or third time that has occurred. Perhaps we should get a diaper on you a bit quicker.

Though Grandma F loves you so much, I am sure she could live without being pooped on regularly.

Since this last bath was so pleasant, I am almost looking forward to your next bath. Maybe it really can be a relaxing, enjoyable bonding experience for us.

The Bath...Oh the Trauma!

Dear Ava,

I would look concerned/wary too if I was the one about to hear THE BATH story. Yes, all capital letters is justified for the title of story of the trauma I inflicted on you that night. 

Your most recent future therapy causing trauma began a few evenings ago on the 17 min drive home from your cousin's house.

Your diaper was quite poopy and you were not at all happy about having to sit in it. Plus, having emptied your bowels you were also hungry, so even after the diaper change you were still upset.

I did my best to change your diaper and feed you as quickly as possible once we arrived home, but I have not perfected (or even tried) the diaper change while feeding technique...if such a thing even exists. 

Unfortunately, there was more trauma yet to come.

After you were fed you had a bath. Not just any bath either. Your first bath in your own baby bath tub. It was also your first bath with me not having any additional assistance.

It started off pretty well for the first two minutes...then, I actually started the bath. 

You did no appreciate having your hair washed and let me know it by crying.

Then you pooped.

It of course was the very loose, diarrhea-like mustard yellow infant poop that gets everywhere. Since you were in the newborn sling in the baby bath the poop mostly pooled in the sling.

I lifted you out and did my best to try to keep you warm while I dumped the bath water, rinsed the sling, wiped you off since you had been sitting in the poo, and then reassembled everything. In dumping out the bathwater into the main tub, however, it meant that there was baby poop floating all over the big tub now even though you infant tub was poop free.

Ignoring the poop filled large tub, I decided to continue on with your bath. The sling was wet and cold when I put you back in it which made you even more upset and scream that much louder.

From then on everything would've gone just fine, save for a strange running water noise I heard coming from the vicinity of the toilet. I had the shower running (not on you), so I just assumed the running water had something to do with the shower and not the toilet.

It wasn't until I was getting out out of the bath and drying you off that I noticed the floor seemed very wet around the toilet. In fact, the whole toilet looked extremely wet.

Sometime during the poop incident I leaned against the handle of the Biffy Toilet Bidet thereby turning it on. Though the toilet lid was down, the water still sprayed up, hit the lid, and then sprayed out the sides of the gap between the lid and seat and onto everything nearby.

Your look of shock and concern is very appropriate. 

Since I knew I already had a bathtub to clean later, I decided getting you to bed was my top priority. Cleaning the poop-filled bathtub and drenched toilet and floor could wait until after you were asleep.

Thankfully, when I returned to the scene of the bath disaster an hour or so later the clean-up looked much more manageable to me.

That said, I completely understand if you were traumatized by the whole experience and later in life join a religious order that abstains from bathing (though I have no idea if such a thing exists). Hopefully the new bath tub I bought you today will work out better for you. 

Double Gold Star

Dear Ava,

You were born three weeks ago yesterday. You seem so much older to me than 22 days because 22 days seems like such a short amount of time. Plus, you have grown so much in the past 22 days.

When getting you dressed for church I discovered that is too long for your newborn sleeper now.

Here you are wearing your first 0-3 month clothes.

Yesterday was full of other firsts as well. By quarter to ten in the morning I had make up on and my hair straightened. Granted, I was not dressed yet, but that is easier to accomplish. In my book that in itself is a gold star deserving accomplishment. 

We also made it to the 11 AM church service almost on time. Instead of coming in midway through the homily (sermon), we arrived during the second reading.

The past couple of Sundays we ended up going to a 5 PM service at a different church because making it out of bed, let alone both of us dressed and presentable in the morning was too much to ask. Double gold start for us making it to the early service!

Even if we had gone to the later service I wouldn't have minded. I am very grateful that both churches have a very vibrant, faith filled community. In fact, the homily from the 5 PM service a few weeks ago has stuck with me. Perhaps I'll write about it later.

You slept for most of the service, but even when you woke up you were alert and quiet.  That is particularly surprising because once we arrived home I discovered you had a full diaper. You HATE dirty diapers with a passion and are usually very good about letting me know if you are at all wet or poopy.

I'm slowly adjusting to your schedule, which means you will likely change it on me very soon. Ah well. It keeps me on my toes.

Friends and Family Day

Dear Ava,

Most days we are fortunate if I am showered and dressed by 5 PM and we make it out of the house for a quick errand by 7 PM.

However, one day this past week we were out of the house twice, with the first time being around 11:30 PM. Granted, showering was not involved prior to that first trip, but I will take what I can get.

Our trip out in the wee hours of the morning (that being anytime before noon) consisted of going to visit our wonderful and amazing friend Angelique and her adorable almost four month old son.

Angelique is one of the most outgoing, thoughtful, giving people I know.

She invited us over for a very delicious lunch just when I really needed to get out of the house for a bit. I had never thought of using zucchini as a spaghetti substitute, but it was really good.

She also volunteered to watch you the next day and made a haircut appointment for me at the salon she goes to when I mentioned that my hair really needed to be trimmed and I didn't know how I would accomplish that anytime soon.

Though a family emergency prevented her from babysitting you, it was so kind and thoughtful of her to offer and I appreciated her help with the salon appointment. Grandma F. stepped in and watched you instead (Thank you!!!).

Later that same evening we went out for frozen custard with Grandma F and all of your aunts, uncles, and cousins on my side of the family. It was the feast day of the saint for whom you have a cousin named and so a little celebration was in order.

I tried to take pictures, but only a couple were even close to being in focus since I was holding you at the same time.

You have a lot of catching up to do compared to your cousin who is five weeks older than you.

I hope that fist of yours isn't because you are plotting how to win the size war, because she is more than likely destined to be much taller than you.

Not that you will be short by any means, but her parents are overall taller than your dad and I. Plus, while you started off wearing newborn size socks, she started off wearing the 6-12 months size socks. Having grown up as the shortest and the youngest of my own tall immediate family I can assure you that it is a bearable cross.

Stretch!

Dear Ava, 

If the Olympics had an overhead arm stretch event I think you would be a contender for a gold medal.

Here you are demonstrating the One Arm Overhead Stretch, Left. Note the level of intensity and concentration required in this event. The extension of the arm and roundness of the fist is superb!

However, your One Arm Overhead Stretch, Right, still needs a lot of work. There isn't nearly the same level of concentration and effort seen in this one and your form reflects it.

Moving on to the Two Arm Overhead Stretch. This is your money maker. Your form, near perfect. You start the stretch long and wide. Once again, great left hand fist form. 

Then you flawlessly bring the stretch in closer to your head.

Finally, to end the stretch you have near synchronization with the arms as you bring them down. Bravo!

If only I could capture your amazing skills on something other than my iPhone. 

42 Weeks

Dear Ava,

Happy almost 42 or so weeks of age!

I think the Korean's have a more accurate age system then we do in the West. In the Korean age system, when you are born you are already thought of as one year old. The system gets a little more complicated from there, but thinking of a person as one year old from the moment they are born sure makes a lot more sense to me than discounting the previous 40 or so weeks of their life.

From the moment you were conceived I was your mother and Joseph was your father. The fact that we did not yet know about you does not preclude the fact that you existed, you existed as a member of our family, and you were already growing and developing at an extremely rapid rate.

Here you are sucking your thumb around 20 weeks:

When I told both your dad and Grandma P. about you I used the present tense saying "you are a dad" and "you are a Grandma". That is because you already existed and were developing as a completely unique individual. Whether or not I was conscious of your existence before then, my body was already nurturing you, feeding you, and taking care of you as a mother. Even if I had miscarried or you were stillborn it would not negate the fact that you existed and carried half of my genes and half of Joseph's genes as our child.

Unfortunately, most people don't think like that. They count motherhood and fatherhood as beginning when you are born. One coworker even corrected me when I called Joseph a father before you were born.

While being a mother and father changes dramatically at birth, it also changes quite dramatically at many other stages of life. Sending a son or daughter off to college, or watching them marry, or even going through every parent's worst nightmare and having to bury a son or daughter doesn't change that a person was and still is a mother and a father. The responsibilities change, but the relationship tie/bond/genetic code can never be broken despite how hard some people may try.

From the moment you were conceived I am your mother, Joseph is your father, and you are forever part of our family. So, whether you like it or not you're stuck with us. I'll put some more money in the therapy savings fund for you.

Heat Wave

Dear Ava,

Despite a heat index over 100 degrees and the house not having central AC working, we are downstairs because I can only take so much of being cooped up in our cool room. That and the outfit I have you in is better suited for the warm house.

Someday I hope to learn all the ins and outs of taking decent photographs with my camera. Today, I am playing around with it without adjusting any settings or trying too hard to focus.

Please ignore my double chin. I still have a lot of baby weight to lose. Perhaps we will go walk around the gym track later.

Even out of focus you are incredibly cute.

 Please don't grow up too fast.

AC Failure

Dear Ava,

You slept so well last night. Grandma F and I were all set for another sleepless night when you surprised us by only waking up at 2 AM, 5 AM, and 7 AM to nurse and then fell back to sleep. It helped that our room was not impacted by the central AC unit failure like the rest of the house. We have our own window AC unit in the room because I would get quite warm while pregnant with you. We camped out in our room for the majority of the day since there is a heat wave hitting the area right now.

Even though you slept so well last night, making it to the 11 AM church service was too much of a stretch for me in my own sleep deprived state. Instead, we once again showed up to the 5 PM service 15 minutes late. One of these days/years I will figure out how to get us there on time.

One thing that we did accomplish today, or maybe it was last night, was talking to Joe/daddy on Skype. As much as I miss him, I am very thankful that we are not in Korea with him at the moment. He is battling a huge black mold outbreak in his place. He was up until 2 AM washing down his walls with a diluted bleach solution the day he got back to Korea. Thankfully, by the time we go visit him the black mold should not be an issue. Hopefully, that time is sooner rather than later. I miss him and I know he really misses you.