Berry is really cuddly right now. She is also very clingy. Right now I'm sitting at the computer and she's right beside me looking at me with her puppy eyes. Either she wants food or wants to go outside. I better go see which one it is.

Ever notice that while you're talking to someone you feel a constant need to reaffirm your selfworth and show that you are as good as them, if not better? Not a healthy feeling by any means. I've caught myself in that trap a few times in the past month or so and now that I've noticed it I'm trying to do something about it. Just what that is, I'm not quite sure. As a whole, I'm fine with who I am right now, what I'm doing, what I've accomplished, where I'm headed in life, what kind of person I am, and all that stuff. However, every so often out pop those horrible thoughts that I'm not good enough, I'll never be accepted, everything is fake, and basically I'm worthless. It is at those times that I remember that: 1. God loves me, made me who I am, has a plan for my life, is in control, I can turn to Him, and He never makes a mistake. 2. My family loves me, supports me, and likes me the way I am. and 3. I am surronded by friends who I know I can trust, like me for who I am, and support me. What it all boils down to is that money, material possesions, looks, knowledge, etc, can all fade away, but no matter what happens, no matter the circumstances, I'll always be a child of God and loved by my Father in Heaven. So when I feel the need to reaffirm my selfworth and value, I am forgetting, and thereby rejecting in a way, who I really am and what Jesus has done for me by dying on the cross to save me. He wouldn't do that to save someone who is worthless and He didn't love, yet He made the ultimate sacrifice for everyone's sake. Therefore He must think everyone is worthwhile and He loves everyone , but it is my choice whether or not I accept His love.

No clue if that made any sense or not. I just wrote with the flow and it's 2:30am. I'm going to bed.

I just finished watching a thing I put together for my friend Annah for her birthday and it made me miss her and all my other friends from school. This morning right after I got up Annah called me, and then later in the day I talked to Anne online and on the phone. Save for during my trip to Albequerque this past summer, I think this is the most I've ever kept in touch with my friends from school over a break. It seems like we all have similar feelings of missing each other. I really like having a break, but it's more than a week before I get to see all of them again and it seems so long.

Plebe year and the beginning of yearling year I didn't believe Annah and James when they told me that I wouldn't want to go home as much. I still have friends around here, but it's not the same as it was in high school. We've all changed a bit and gone different ways.

Teresa called me today and we got together a plan to hang out next week. I haven't seen or talked to her since this summer. She told me that over her recent trip she got engaged. While I was talking to Anne later on the phone I mentioned that fact and said it seems like there's an engagment virus going around. She joked that it must be pretty contagious and suggested I wear a gas mask when I see Teresa or else I may catch it. I guess I'd better wear one when I see Stephanie as well because she's engaged, or will be in just a few days. She showed me a picture of the ring she's getting from Nick on the 4th. It's so beautiful. Anyway, I think I'm safe from that virus for now.

Yesterday I woke up, looked out the window and realized it was snowing. There was about an inch or so on the ground. It was a white Christmas :) It didn't snow much more, and didn't stick around for very long, but the little there was looked nice. Christmas with my family was nice. It's not quite the same as it was when I was little, because all of my sisters and I are older, and Heidi has her own house, so we don't get up at 6am anymore and race downstairs.

Today we went over to my Grandma's house. I really liked seeing Anna and Isaac, my little cousins, again. At school my friends always hear all about them. They kept climbing all over me and asking for horsey and piggy back rides, along with one they invented called the robot ride. It was easy when they were really little, but now that Anna is 5 and Isaac is 6 it makes for a really good workout, especially when they both climb on at once.

Towards the end of the evening my left ear started to hurt a little. By the time we opened presents it was throbing and occasional sharp pains shot through it. Soon after all the presents were opened I drove home and curled up on the couch. The pain was excrutiating by that time. I'd taken 2 tylonel and some nasal decongestant like my mom had suggested, but it still hurt a lot. She then suggested some heat might help and warmed up a rice bag for me in the microwave. The heat felt really good and took care of a lot of the pain. Now, about 3 hours later, the pain is just about all gone, but my ear feels clogged up. I hope it's all cleared up by tomorrow morning.

Merry Christmas!

It's not quite Christmas yet, but it probably will be by the time I post this. This evening my parents and I went to the Christmas Eve service at Church. I decided to wear dress mess mostly because I was too lazy to figure out something else to wear. At Church almost everyone came up to me and commented on how beautiful and elegant I looked, and how much they liked the uniform. It was quite a change from at school where some people seem to think that no girls look good in uniform, no matter what. The service was pretty nice. Christmas Eve services are probably my favorite service of the whole year.

Today I've been looking at used Chevy S-10's and trying to convince my parents that a car is a good idea. Why does car insurance have to be so expensive?

I miss my friends from school.

Yay! I have a way to check my school email now.

I wish I knew how to check my school email. I haven't been able to check it since last wednesday. When they rearranged the network at school, they changed how to log into email when your away, but didn't tell us the new method.

I feel like I've been productive today. I cleaned and rearranged my room at home, made some muddy buddy chex mix, but instead of chex cereal I used Resses Puffs cereal, my dad and I did a tiny bit of work on the computer setting up VMware, and I tried to do some Christmas shopping, but only got one present.

Yesterday I went and worked out at Domino's Farms. It was nice being back there again. I can't believe it's been two and a half years since I worked out there with Christina as my personal trainer. In the evening I went over to Becki's house and then we went and picked up Kyle. We all made some oatmeal-cranberry-chocolate chip cookies and watched 8 mile. It was so nice to be able to bake again. I miss baking. The kitchen at home is being redone and so there isn't any place to bake. My dad says that next week the kitchen will hopefully be further along and I'll have my choice of 3 ovens to use to bake :)

This afternoon Anne and I were talking on IM and discussing cars. We were looking at trucks and suv's. I want an suv, but that's not going to happen. My dad said to call and ask the insurance company about rates on trucks and then use that to determine what kind to get. My dream is to get one over break and then have my parents drive it down to Florida for me during spring break. I won't be home again until summer, so that's why I thought of that idea. I told Anne about it and she liked it and had that idea that if she got a car too, then our parents could caravan down there with them. However, my dad wasn't so thrilled about the idea.

On Friday Adam asked me to 500th night :)

Oh blah

It doesn't seem like Christmas.

Wow! It's amazing how things change. I'm very happy right now due to two IM's two of my friends sent me this morning. I didn't get either of them until 2pm this afternoon when I woke up for the second time. Usualy I don't sleep in very late, but it was really nice to today. I hope I don't sleep in that late anymore this break. I kinda feel like I wasted the day when I do. Of course, I'm not about to get up at 5:30 or 6am. Ahh, break at last :)

Why is w.bloggar acting weird?

Why am I still up? I have no idea. Betsy keeps asking me what I want for Christmas and she's getting annoyed because I can't think of anything. The one thing I eventually said I wanted was a date to 500th night. She didn't like that answer. She suggested I go with Sam, but there's the small problem of me not knowing Sam. Ich weiss nicht. I'm tired. It's late. I'm going to bed.

I'm done with TEE's, I just finished cleaning out room, and in 3 hours I'm getting up and heading home. My CS today went horribly, but I think I did okay on my IR TEE.

My plan was to come back from IR and start cleaning right away, because I hadn't done anything at all about clearing out my room. The S's invited our OCF group over because Jessica was there, but I wasn't planning on going because of all the cleaning I had to do. Brian took it upon himself to try and convince me to go. I couldn't figure out why he kept trying to get me to go. After I refutted all of his ideas of why I couldn't put off cleaning and go, he convinced me to go later when Celio went up. Pure and simple peer pressure. When I got to the S's house he procceded to tell me that he had won once again. A few days ago I had told him that I really wanted to beat him at something, anything, but he always seemed to win. I'll beat him at something sometime.

I could go to bed right now, but I think I'd just lay there and not be able to sleep. Right now I'm listening to country. Perhaps listening to some calming music will help. Hmm, the classical station isn't calm music. Maybe Nature Sounds will work. Nope, it puts me on edge. I'll go with Lite Rock. Wow. I haven't listened to that station in a really long time. I now realize why I stopped listening to that station. Ah well, I'm going to go make some snowflakes at http://snowflakes.lookandfeel.com/

Somehow my math teacher already managed to grade all of our TEE's and post our final grades. I guess that's the good thing about having only 16 other cow's with a CS major. My teacher must have curved the test a lot, because my grade in the class actually went up. I ended up with a C. I went into the TEE with a C-. Pretty sweet.

I'd say I'm a B+ personality type. Very close to an A, but when it really comes down to it, a B+ is still a B.

Now let us discuss Mil Art. First topic, Revolution in Military Affairs. There are Technological developments whcihc are turned into practical military systems, Doctrinal (operational) innovations, Organizational Adaption, and social, political, econoci developments.

It's boring to write about, and not a very effective study method. Back to my old method.

Somehow, I don't think my teacher was looking for my answer of "Poof! And it's proven magically" when he asked for an indirect proof to prove something on the TEE.

I found out my room for next semester. It's actually the same three person room I was in last year, but now Jill is going to be roommates with us instead of Tara. Tara's on medical leave for the semester.

1 TEE down, 4 to go. Next up is MA376and Mil Art, followed by CS386 and International Relations on Wednesday. By Wednesday night I think I'll be in a coma, which won't help packing very much. Only 14 hours of tests left.

I think of him constantly and want to tell everyone about him. Nothing in the world is better than spending time with him. He waits each day for me to talk to him, and nothing makes him happier than spending time with me. I want to share everything with him and spend every moment with him. He's the one that I go to when I'm happy, sad, hurt, scared. He takes care of everything, comforts me, holds me in his arms, makes my worries dissapear. I realize how inadequate I am. I'm not worthy of his love, yet he still love me with all of my flaws. He's my best friend, my closest companion. I'll do anything he asks; I trust him completly. He challenges me to go outside my comfort zone, but is right there by my side the whole time. In the hard times he carries me. There's nothing he likes more than hearing me say I love him, and there's nothing I like more than telling him that. Even when I hurt him, he accepts me with open arms and a loving heart, forgiving everything. He'll never hurt me, he'll never leave me, and I can't imagine a life without him. He is the most important thing to me, nothing comes before him. I love him and he loves me.

Last night the S's had our OCF group over for the eveing. As usual, it was a great time. I was able to talk to Mrs. S about a question I had come across during my Bible study the day before. The S's are amazing people. Mrs. S also was really nice and patched a hole that I discovered in Joe Bear's head. I brought him with me to make a new episode, but when I reached into the back to pull him out, my finger when straight into his head. She sewed him up and he's a good as new.

It's snowing:)

What is up with the way the page looks when I open it up on my desktop? It's fine on my laptop.

Christmas dinner was pretty nice yesterday, although I didn't care for the actual meal very much.

Classes are over for the semester. TEE's start tomorrow, but I don't have my first one until Monday afternoon. Then I have 5 in a row, ending on Wednesday evening. Thursday I'm taking the 6am bus to the airport. 5 tee's, 2.5 days, 17.5 hours of tests in a row. Fun.

This semester went by pretty fast. I hope I don't have to repeat it.

It's amazing how things change.

So much for trying to go snowboarding/skiing with Anne and Brian on Friday. It's raining outside and the temp is supposedly 52 degrees. I can't wait till it snows and actually sticks around long enough so I can go snowboarding.

Today in Mil Art, my teacher showed us about 10 minutes of the movie Alien, and then kinda tied it into the lesson. He asked who had never seen the movie before, and one other person and I raised our hands. I guess that makes me a failure in life. Okay, that's not really what he said at all, but he was suprised that we had never seen it. After watching the clip, I now want to see the whole thing. Isn't the quadrilogy coming out in a set soon, or was that a different movie?

In IR, our teacher brought in coffee and doughnuts for the class. We spent the whole period basically griping about West Point. The main topics were the $15 earmuffs, the Comm, and the different monopolies around here.

Paper bags full of stuff from the C-store don't mix very well with rain. I have Christmas shopping done for one person, my Grandma. I have no clue what to get anybody else.

MercyMe - Word Of God Speak Lyrics

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

[Chorus]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

[Chorus 2x]

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay

Today, that being Tuesday, was a really good day. Morning practice went very well, and both coach's liked my idea about having an erg contest. Coach Holland also told me that Coach Steve said I rowed well. That was definetly nice to hear, because usually I only hear that I need to slow my slide more, stay constant, get my hands away faster, etc. On the way up from the boathouse the sunrise was extremely beautiful. Late fall/ winter sunrises and sunsets are so pretty. In fact, all sunrises and sunsets are at anytime of year, but in the fall and winter they have a softer glow to them with colors that gently blend into one another.

Anyway, then, in Mil Art we had a suprise quiz, but my teacher let us use the course notebook and instead of failing it, I actually aced it and got the bonus points. He also handed back the papers. I figured I'd probably get a C or so on the paper, but was very happy to find it was an A. Writing standards for English and Mil Art are extremely different. I had two free periods before lunch and so took some time for a Bible study/ prayer time. The topic was "What Makes God Smile" but instead of focusing on that, I found that passages about watching what I say, such as Eph 4:29 and James 3:9 kept coming up and I felt like God was trying to tell me something and so I've been thinking about that a lot for the rest of the day. I think I now know why.

In the afternoon I went in for a very productive AI session for CS. After class last hour I went with Jordan to the S's house. While waiting for Mrs. S. I made a bunch of snowballs and ambushed Jordan when she came by. She tried to tackle me in the snow, but ended up getting more snow on her then I got on myself. Spending the afternoon over at the S's house was really nice. I've really opened up a lot more to them this year and am more myself. From there we all went the the OCF Christmas party, which was also a lot of fun. I love OCF. After that I went back to the barracks and my project partner and I got to work on our EE project, which we managed to get working 5 minutes before TAPs. It's so cool.

Yikes, it's late. Stupid MS essay.... I mean, really helpful and useful MS essay. Riiiiight.

MS class...what did I learn in that class?

Last night, with some assistance from Annah, I made a new Joe Bear episode. I came back from Army Navy and found a package from Build a Bear on my desk. My mom had bought Joe Bear the BDU outfit:) Thanks Mom! During the shooting of the episode my camera started to complain about the battery power. It tends to do that if I have it on for more then 10 minutes in any space of time. I need new batteries for it, but can't find the right kind and don't really have the time to look. By the end of the photo taking I was begging my camera to give me one more picture. I was also dreaming of getting a new digital camera, but that's not likely to happen. I have a Kodak DX3900 right now that I got at the end of Plebe year. It works pretty well with 3.1 magapixels and a 2x optical zoom, but it's nothing compared to the camera's that are out now. Camera's are like computers, a month after you buy one the newest latest and greatest model comes out that is 10 times better then the one you bought. Ah well, someday I'll get a new camera that'll be the latest and greatest and be happy with it once again for about a week before a better one comes out.

As I said before, I love my friends. I can talk to them about stuff that I never felt comfertable talking to people about before, that being God and religion. A few days ago I mentioned that I'd started a new book for my daily prayer/Bible study time. I take notes in a little notebook and the stuff that God has shown me has been amazing and so useful in my life. Usually it's off the topic of the daily Bible study and I come across it as I look deeper in the Bible abotu the subject of the day. For instance, on 03 December the topic of the day was "Life Is a Temporary Assignment." Two verses that really hit me during the Bible Study, which happened to be adjacent to the actual verses for the day, were 1 Peter 2:11-12 and 1 Corinthians 7:33-35. The 1 Corinthians passage was particularly moving and I talked about it with Anne today at dinner. I love being able to go to my friends like Anne, Leah, and Amanda and have converstaions about stuff. The other cool thing of the day was that this evening I went over to my EE partner's room to work on our EE360 project. We first listend to Christmas music, and after that was through she turned on a Christian praise CD from FCA. It was really good. I happened to see a bible study thing she had on her bookshelf and was looking at it and so she told me about it. I told her I'd just started a new book of my own, and she asked what the title was. I told her it was "The Purpose Driven Life" and she went over to her desk and picked up a book and said "You mean this book?" It turns out a friend of hers had gotten the same book for her for her Birthday and said it was really good. She hadn't started it yet, but was going to once TEE's finished. It's so cool.

Time for bed so that I can get up for morning practice. yay...

Army lost to Navy this weekend in the big football game. I don't think I've ever been more mad in my life as I was when the Corps marched into the stadium before the game. Formation for the game was at 12am in the parking lot outside the stadium and so my friends and I got there around 11:30. Most of the other cadets who had taken pass were there at that time as well. The busses with cadets on them that drove from West Point were supposed to get there around that time as well, but due to the snow they didn't make it until about 2:30 or so. We were supposed to march on at 2pm, but at 1:30 rumors started to spread around that it was pushed back until 3pm. At 1pm our first sgt went around and told people not to move because we'd soon form up and march over the the hockey area so that we wouldn't have to stand on the ice any longer, but that was a bunch of false hope. We kept waiting, but nothing happened and we stood out there the whole time. What made me so angry was that the corps had to wait outside in the parking lot, which was covered with a sheet of snow/ice, in 20 degree weather, and we were not supposed to go anywhere, while higher ranking people were not out there with us. I didn't see any bathrooms, and definetly no water around, except for the few patches of melted ice on the ground. I heard a plebe tell someone that he was extremely thirsty, but there wasn't anything we could do for him. I saw at most two officers out there very briefly for the whole 3+ hours that we stood out there on that ice. Our shoes have no insulation, and although most people wore mutliple pairs of socks, the cold seeped straight through the shoes and everyone's feet froze. Many people who did not wear coreframes had water seep into their shoes, which made it even worse for them. After 3 hours when we started moving, nobody could feel their feet. When we were marching in my feet started to thaw a bit and the pain set in. It was so bad that I started to limp. When we walked into the tunnel under the stadium I saw all of the officers huddled in there. That was when I was more angry then I've ever been. I dressed as warmly as I could, but was still very cold and my feet were froze. I know that there were many cadets out there who did not dress warmly and had no protection for their head or ears besides the grey service cap, which does nothing to protect the ears. A few took their rain cover for the service cap and wore it kinda like a shower cap in order to shield their ears. Whereas Navy got to leave and come back later, those officers made the corps stand out there and literaly freeze in the parking lot, while they shielded themselves from the cold and ice. That is one of the best examples of poor leadership that I've seen in my cadet career.

The big news around the corps right now is the snow storm. It hasn't started snowing here yet, but Philadelphia has over 5 inches of snow and a foot is expected. The people taking the bus now have to form up at 4 and leave at 6am instead of 8am. My friends and I are leaving at 4pm this afternoon to drive down.

(Mom, since you read this: Yes, we will be very carefull, will watch out for other drivers, and leave plenty of space between cars, wear clothes that are warm enough in case something happens with the car and we have to walk, have my cell phone with me, and make sure that nobody drives if they are tired. Did I cover everything? I wish you and Dad were here for the game. Get well soon.)

Today I'm feeling much better. I think yesterday afternoon was the worst of it. I skipped practice, with Mindy's permission, and slept because I could barely move and Anne kept yelling at me to go to bed.

Since I have and hour before my last class I'm going to take a nap. Yay :)

The front page of the NY Times had a picture of one of the milk cartons that are served in the mess hall. The sports page had an article about West Point and a football player.

The varsity women's crew team had a distro war about correct grammer tonight. As I said, I love my friends. We're all nerds together.

My parents are awesome, and although they aren't coming this weekend, they sent a package to me with 40 or so packets of hand warmers. My friends and I hopefully will have a chance of staying warm at the game this year.

I must say that I love my friends here. They are all awesome people.

Tomorrow I leave for Philly and the Army Navy game with Mike, Leah, Celio, Brian, Anne, Krisin, Sam, and Jenny. Looks like it'll be a good weekend, although the big snowstorm expected may through in a but of excitment. The only down part is that my parents aren't coming anymore :(

Go Army! Beat Navy!

Some days are better then others, unfortuanatly this was not one of them. Even though it wasn't that great of a day, it wasn't horrible. I'd go into details, but homework calls. Fun stuff.

Winter has finally arrived here, just in time for the Army Navy game. It flurried twice today, but didn't accumulate to much on the ground. Army Navy Drill was rather cold today, and thankfully we only had to run through it once. We were all supposed to march back up to the barracks afterwords, but my regiment decided to break ranks and run away on our own. I was really happy to do that, because 15 minutes after I got to my room I could still here people from 1st, 2nd, and 3rd reg marching up.

Cool thing of the day: I've started a new book for my daily Bible study time. It's The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. Today's segment was about seeing life from God's view. One part of it discussed life on Earth as a trust and how God entrusts us each with certain gifts. 1 Corinthians 4:7, Luke 16:11, and Luke 12:48 all stood out to me. Then, at OCF the topic for our small group discussion was time and gifts. It was really cool how the two fit together. Today's left me wondering what gifts God has given me and how I can use them.

Yet another announcement today of someone in the cow class getting engaged. The trend is catching on fast.

An argument broke out this evening over the awarding of points for Adam and Anne. It resulted in an email war between the judges. Mostly it was Jordan and I against Annah. Annah's supposed to be on Anne's side with us....I mean, we are fair, non-biased judges who happen to award Anne 1 billion points and Adam 1 point. It's all relative. The cool thing is, nobody has any idea what I am talking about :)

Sweet! I just realized that since today is now technically Wednesday, my parents will be here tomorrow. I'll hopefully catch up with them at the Goat-Engineer football game and bonfire. At this time last year a huge snowstorm hit.

It's amazing how things change.

In other news, I'm now the women's crew team Activity SGT. My goal is to unite the team and bring us closer together through fun activities, competitions, and spending time together outside of regular crew practice and trips.

Although I felt like I was about to come down with a cold last night, overall I feel much better after Thanksgiving break then I felt before the break. Christmas break is only 2.5 weeks away, not far at all. The break was really nice, although I really crashed. My brain refused to function. On Saturday I woke up and had a list of things in my head that I had to accomplish. When I realized that I was mildly stressed out about it, I said screw it and threw out the list. If I got to it, then I got to it, otherwise it didn't really matter.

Both Thanksgivings that I had with the different sides of the family were good. One of my cousins annouced her engagment, and another cousin on the other side is already married and due in Feb. Both of them are 21. This year started and everybody suddenly grew up. People my age are getting engaged and married. It doesn't seem real yet.

Heidi and I went to see Elf on Friday. It's a pretty good movie.

Misha and I were going to go out and see a movie on Saturday night, but the Thanksgiving dinner with my Mom's side of the family ran later then I thought. Instead, Misha and I went downtown and got coffee, then we walked around a bit. It was fun.

I have to admit something. I'm addicted to a very harmful substance. Every year it causes thousands of deaths. In fact, it is a factor in one of the leading causes of death in the United States. Not only that, it impares driving and causes even more deaths that way. I've tried to quit, to break the habit, to stop the addiction, but I keep going back to the substance. When I go a day without it, the need for it becomes even worse. Sometimes I feel as though I won't make it much longer if I don't have it. I'm suprised that it hasn't been banned yet. If people only realized how harmful it is, then the substance would probably be banned in a second. Even right now I feel the craving for it coming back. It's getting stronger by the minute. Dihydrogen monoxide is taking over my life. Please help.

Here is a good website about the harmful effects: Dihydrogen Monoxide - The Truth

Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

I've come home to a world of confusion. The house is being remodeled and so right now there is no kitchen. I keep forgetting that and start thinking about how, when I'm thirsty, I'll go get a glass from the cupboard and get a drink of water. Then I remember that there is no cupboard to get a glass from, and there isn't a sink to get water out of in the kitchen. It's all very strange.

Time is also different. At school I always know the day, the month, the season, but here I don't. I keep thinking it's either Christmas, or early spring. Yesterday at the store I had no idea what the date was when I went to write a check. Everything feels jumbled up in my head.

I also have trouble concentrating. Occasionaly I'll be able to sit down and read a book, or watch a movie, but for the most part I need to look at a mazagine at the same time that I'm watching tv. Yesterday at the bookstore I found a book that I was interested in buying, but I wanted to read a tiny bit of it just to make sure. It may as well have been me reading my mil art text book. I would look at the words, about half of them I'd actually be able to look at long enough to read, but of those words that I'd read, most of them would not proccess in my head at all.

I'm slowly unwinding just in time to have to go back to my world of lots of stress, little time, and no sleep. Term End Exams are two weeks away, and then on the 18th I fly back here for two weeks. Why is this semester so much harder then the previous ones?

Umm, where did my last post go? I just published it. Oh well.

Plans for the break:
Crash
Sleep
relax
forget about West Point
Hopefully hang out with Misha, Matt, Becki, Frank,
Crash
Enjoy Thanksgiving with my family
Crash
forget about West Point
Crash
relax
perhaps get some clothes for winter (although i'm very low on money)
make a new Joe Bear episode
Crash
forget about West Point
call Stephanie
Crash

get the picture?

I am now home for Thanksgiving. Now I shall procceed to crash for the next three days. No thinking, no moving, no working, no caring...nothing. Well, I may actually take my english prof's suggestion and rent the movie Burnt By the Sun and watch it for the 2.5 time. We have to watch it for class, and we're supposed to watch it at least 3 times. Who knows.

My CS teacher is awesome! He emailed us all today telling us to look at the anouncement page on the CS384 website, but I didn't get around to it until right now. On it, he said that he moved the resubmission of project 3A and the submission of project 3B to lesson 37, which is the Wednesday after Thanksgiving! More time to work on it, less stress, this is awesome!

Go Mil Art! Go far, far away...please. The thing that keeps me going in that class is the fact that I'm getting it over with now, and next year I won't have to suffer through it like the majority of my classmates. My Civil War paper needs just under 300 more words and then some revision. Tonight appears to be an alnighter night for the majority of cows and firsties on the crew team. What makes it even better is that we have practice at 0530 tomorrow morning. I don't think Coach Steve will like it when most of us fall asleep while he's teaching us new exericse and weight lifting things. Actually, I'm hoping to get to bed for a few hours tonight. We'll see.

Left to do: Finish mil art paper, CS project, build EE lab 5, Math quiz.

1.5 days...

Two and a half days...I can make it...only two and a half days. I have to remember to take the Army-Navy game tickets home.

What is a good thesis for a paper on the Capture of Forts Henry and Donelson during the Civil War? My teacher told me my original thesis would be kind of hard to prove, although I may stick to it. Actually, looking at it again, and given the information I've come across, I may stick to the original thesis.

Tomorrow I have english class again. I really do not want to go to that class and get my essay back.

Yesterday I slept in until 11:30. At 12:30 Jordan, Heather, Leah, Jenny, and I went over to the Schumachers house. Amanda, Josh, Celio, Brian, and Alicia all came later on. We watched the UofM vs OSU game. It was awesome, especially when Michigan beat OSU. GO BLUE!!!

Last night I went to the O.A.R. concert at Ike Hall. Jordan and I went down about half an hour before the show to get tickets. It was pretty good, although right afterwords I couldn't hear very well. They played a few of the songs that I like by them, such as Black Rock and It Was A Crazy Game of Poker. Virginia Coalition opened for them.

This is very strange. For the first time I don't have the urge to fight. Not even a bit. It's very abnormal for me.
Know what is cool? Typing without looking at what I am typing or even paying attention to it. My fingers are flying around the key board. It's typing out my thoughts.

Is Leah hurt? I hope not. Crap. It looks like she is. She's on the ground and not moving. This is not good. The shoulder is already hurt really badly. So badly that they will not even operate on it. She's just laying there not moving.

(Occured when Celio and Leah were wrestling. Leah eventually got up, but had to ice her shoulder for awhile.)

Little Josh is running around prentending to shoot things. He's using two legos as weapons.

I think the cup of coffee that I had around 11pm was a bad idea. I'm still awake and not tired. Tomorrow I can sleep in :) At 12:30 some of my friends and myself are going over to the Schumachers' house for the afternoon. I plan on taking my laptop and Mil Art stuff so that I can work on my paper. Of course, I'll be watching the UM vs OSU game at the same time. Leah...you're going down! GO BLUE!

A few nights ago Matt called me, and this time I actually knew who he was. Part of the conversation was about how my life was going. I made some comment about how I feel like I'm headed in a really good direction, have my life back on track, and life is a lot better then it was last semester. Since I've only talked to him a few times in the past few months, he's been able to really notice the change in me and said that he was really happy about it. I can't remember the exact conversation, so I may be putting words in his mouth, I'm sorry. Anyway, the point is that when I compare myself now with the person I was a semester ago, there is a dramatic difference in a good way. I believe Romans 8:6 when it says "All things work together for good for those who love God." I'm stronger, happier, more confident, and most importantly, closer to God. I started to drift apart from Him, but I've come back and have greatly matured and am even stronger in my beliefs and what I stand for. The friends I have now are ones who I know I can trust, depend on, and my closets ones are the ones who I go to Church and to OCF with. My relationships with my friends and family are so much better. I'm thankful to God for the good kick that he gave me to get me back in line.

In other news...GO MICHIGAN!!!! BEAT OHIO STATE!!!

The first big game is tomorrow. UofM vs OSU. GO BLUE!!!

Yesterday for crew practice we met at Mac Statue and went for a run. A few of the people on the team have to take the APFT today because they were injured at the time of the original one. Due to them taking the APFT, and a lot of people not showing up, Anne and I were the only ones running the original route planned out for practice. About 2/3 of the way through the run we found a lacrosse ball up by Michie Stadium, and proceeded to bounce it back and forth between us for the rest of the run. It was easy to catch if it only bounced once, but if it took a second bounce, then the ball suddenly took off and became harder to catch. A few times one of us missed catching it and it would bounce into the road. bouncing the ball made the run go by faster, and also a little better work out because we would have to sprint a little to catch the ball.

SCUSA's loose....But not loose like 2 years ago with the infamous power point presentation. There are lots of civilian college students walking all over the place, staying in the barracks, and eating in the mess hall. I wonder what they think about life here and cadets.

In less then a week I'll be home. No projects, papers, wpr's, homework, or practice for 3+ days. I can't really count Wednesday or Sunday, since I'll be at West Point for part of those days. Before now and then I have a math quiz, ee quiz, ee lab #5, cs project, and a mil art paper. Fun times.

Last night was great. After thanksgiving dinner I came back to my room and realized that I have a Mil Art drop today. I turned on the TV to see if there was anything on. That is something I haven't done in the longest time, but I felt like I needed a little break from work. Around 8:30 I decided to take a 30 min nap, so I set my alarm and went to bed. I woke up 3 hours later when TAPs sounded. I got up, talked to a few people, did a little work, and then went back to bed at 12:30. This morning I got up at 5:05 for practice and felt really good. 8 hours of sleep is amazing, especially coming off no sleep the night before.

Alyson and I just got back from turning in our rifles. If only the could stay turned in forever. Well, actually for me that may happen the way I feel right now. Last night I had an IR video lecture thingy, EE lab #5 prelim, CS project 3 resubmission, and and english essay to write. I didn't sleep at all, not even a tiny nap. Then, today in math class I got back my wpr and visions of sugarplumes were definetly not dancing in my head when I saw the 54%. Hmm, perhaps if they were talking sugar plumes who were telling me that STAP really isn't that bad then they'd be dancing in my head.

More later.

Beware of squirting contact containers.
One attacked me right now as I tried to open it. The other one tried, but wasn't very successfull.
Mawhahaha! Take that contact containers. (pounds container with fist)
Ahhh! I'M MELTING! I'M MELTING! (contact container spills contents on me)
It's not over contact containers. You may have won this round, but I'll be back...with my glasses. You better watch out.
MAWHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

I feel like the crew team is falling apart. Two people sent out emails tonight telling us they weren't rowing anymore. In all we're losing 4 people this semester with Heather going back to USNA. I don't know how to describe how feel. I guess sad is the best word.

Bite off less, chew more. This almost passes. F.

GO SOSH!!! GO FAR, FAR AWAY.

There's a meteor shower late tonight/very very early in the morning. Anne, Adam, and I are planning on going to watch it around 4:45am, right before Anne and I head down to practice.

I just finished my second cup of coffee for the night. The sosh paper really is not that hard, but I am a slow writer. I have about 3/4 of it done at the moment, but I'm looking at a late night. Hopefully the sosh run will not be an actual sosh run for me. As of this moment, I have no plans nor ideas of how to dress up for the run. Perhaps I'll just go and take pictures of other people.

Recently I've found that I like I really like listening to classical piano music while I do homework. Johannes Stauffer's first CD is usually the music of choice, largely due to the fact that it is the only CD of that genre that I own, but I've also found that Radio@Netscape has a pretty good collection of music of all types.

It's grey and rainy out today. Fun stuff.

I have nothing to write about right now, yet I am still writing. Mainly I am writing to take up space.

Ich weiss nicht. Ich bin Auslander und spreche nicht gut Deutsch. Huete ist Montag. Ich heisse Kate. Ich bin 20 Jahre alt.

I just recieved an email from my CS teacher saying that my CS prelim submission is missing some parts and needs more work. It's due again on Wednesday for 85%. Before Thanksgiving I have my sosh paper, Mil Art paper, English Essay, EE lab 5, and CS project all due. When it rains it pours, and it never stops raining here.

Waking up at 2am in the morning to a guy dressed only in boxer shorts standing at my computer looking at something on my desk is definetly very weird. My first thought was "so that is why my computer has been acting so strange," but then I realized that my computer hadn't been acting strange at all and I had no logical explination for he'd be in my room, especially under the present conditions. I procceded to ask him what he was doing, and he turned and said "Who is that?" I told him my name and he then said something like "sh--, I'm really sorry. I thought this was John's room." Or maybe it was that he was looking for John's room. In anycase, I realized who it was and figured that he was still really drunk from going out drinking after branching. He started to stumble towards the door and almost walked right into one of the doors for the closet thing. I asked him if he needed any help because I didn't want him stumbling around the halls and perhaps walking into another room that wasn't his, or walking into something and injuring himself. He said no and managed to make it out of the room. I realized that Alyson was awake and so we both said that was really weird and I told her who I thought it was. Then, I said a little prayer and went back to sleep. In the morning I asked her if it had been an dream, hoping that perhaps it had been, but she said no, it really did happen. After breakfast formation he came up to me and asked if it had been a dream, but I said no. He then apologized over and over again. He said that he must have been sleep walking because he woke up when I started to talk to him. He said that he needed to stop drinking and I agreed with him.

Joe Bear is now at a new location. http://www.thingsnoted.com/joebear


HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY ANNE!

This weekend I:
-went to an Army Hockey game on Friday night
-was a firstie in the parade on Saturday
-was a member of E1 for the marchon at the football game
-went out to dinner and saw Master and Commander with Leah, Celio, Mike, Kristen, and Alex
-went to Church with Amanda
-Baked about 5 dozen gingerbread cookies at the OCF house with Elisa and Kate (aka Martha Stewart and Betty Crocker respectively)
-gained the nickname Sarah Lee
-listened to the Chief of Staff of the Army, General Schoomaker, speak to the Corps on Branch Night for the firsties
-had a good conversation with my parents

It's been a pretty good weekend, although not much work was done.

Army lost, I have a headache, but I also have a car tonight. Leah, Mike, Kristen, hopefully Celio, and I are going out to dinner and then to see Master and Commander. Good times.

This morning I woke up at 5:35am and realized that I was reaching over to push snooze on my alarm. That really confused me, because if I'm pressing snooze it is because it's after 6am and I don't have practice. Suddenly, it hit me that I'd been pressing snooze in my sleep for half an hour and practice had started 5 minuted earlier. I had two options. I could go saw screw it, go back to sleep and then later email the whole team and apologize for missing morning practice and do a 12k, or I could get up and sprint to practice. I choose to get up and sprint down there as fast as I could. We were in the tanks today. After practice I apologized to my coach for being late. He told me that Henry the 8th had three wives named Kathereine (although I think they spelled their names differently), and that two of them were beheaded. That made me feel great. Then he told me not to worry about it and I promised him it wouldn't happen again.

Yesterday after practice Anne and I went kite flying down at the river courts. It was so windy. We had a lot of fun, although it was pretty cold out.

The Hudson river had ice along the edges of it this morning. There was also snow on top of the ice from the flurries last night. Winter is coming. I want to go snowboarding.

Today was a pretty good day. At 1000 I got my flu shot and then went to the c-store. I bought a new green girl so that I can send my other one out in the laundry and not have to use the grey blanket. I don't like the grey blanket very much. Never have, probably never will. This afternoon I had a good feeling about my EE lab, the one that was due last week but that I couldn't get to work. I had a feeling that today I would get it, and after my last hour class I did.

Yesterday Coach informed us that he wanted us to row a 2k Wednesday, Thursday, or friday, but preferably Thursday. This afternoon I felt really good and had a feeling that i'd be a good 2k. It turns out I was correct. I knocked 4-5 seconds off my best time and got new personal best of 7:43.6. That's still 3.6 seconds from my goal of 7:40, but I'm getting there.

I need a new Bible study to do during my prayer time, and fast. I finished up reading The Power of a Praying Woman a few weeks ago, and since then my prayer time has dramatically decreased because I don't have a structure to it. I need stucture in my life.

There's a huge security inspection tomorrow. Everything over $40 is supposed to be locked up. Since a person's life is priceless, does that mean I'm supposed to lock myself in my trunk room locker for the day?

It's amazing how things change.

Recently I've been having trouble getting to sleep at night. That is very strange for me. Usually I fall asleep about 5-10 minutes after I go to bed, but for the past week or so I've been laying in bed tossing and turning for a long time. Last night I went to bed at 1am and was still awake at 2am. My mind keeps racing and I can't stop thinking about anything and everything. I think it's due mainly to stress.

This past weekend I ended up not going on pass at the last minute. I decided that it'd be best if I stayed here and worked.

I know that Thanksgiving is still 2 weeks away and Christmas is a month and a half away, but I've started listening to Christmas music. It cheers me up a bit.

Am I happy? Will the rest of my life be like this? If that is the case, then I don't think I want the rest of my life to happen. I want to wake up in the morning and be happy, like what I'm doing, and have hope. Right now I feel like I'm falling further and further behind each day and am more and more of a failure. I've come to realize that I like computers, how networks work, their physical components, and learning how to do creative things on the computer, but I'm not sure I actually like programming and the stuff I learn in CS. I love doing things with the computer when it is for other people, but I find it hard when it's only for a class and only benifits myself. Blah.

Sweet! ::w.bloggar has a spell check.

Life's been stressful recently. Thankfully tomorrow we don't have any classes due to Veteran's day. It's so weird having a day off in the middle of the week.

My Mom is awesome! She made a website for all of the Joe Bear episodes. The Life and Extraordinary Adventures of Joe Bear (check out new link at http://www.thingsnoted.com/joebear)

Time for bed.

The appearace of a person's shoes reflects their life.

It's been a very grey week here. The sky, the buildings, but thankfully not the uniforms. It's Air Force week and so we're all in BDU's.

This weekend I'm probably headed to Ohio with some friends. Right now I'm debating about going because of a lot of work coming up in the next few weeks. I called Leah and told her I wasn't going to go, but then she started to convince me that I should go. Now I think I will.


It's late. I'm tired. I have a wpr and a quiz tomorrow which I am not ready for. I need sleep.

Score:
Anne: 5 billion points
Adam: 2 points (he got another point for realizing that I'd taken away a point).

Sometimes I wonder why my friends haven't had me commited as insane yet. They somehow put up with me making power point episodes about the adventures of my teddy bear, and my emails (with color pictures done in Paint) warning them to beware of the mini rainbow marshmellows, to mention only a few things I do. My conclusion is that either I am truely insane, or perhaps I'm just one of those brilliant people who is not intellectualy challeneged enough. Okay, neither of those are anywhere near being true. I'm just an average person ( a bit on the slow side actually), who is rather weird sometimes. I also like to use the word "just" a lot. I'm trying to cut that one out of my vocabulary. It's just not good writing....(joke).

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9

It came today! My Strongs Strongest Concordance and Bebo Norman cd finally arrived. Good stuff.

I sent out two more Joe Bear episodes last night. The email list is slowly growing and a lot of my friends tell me that they are forwarding it on to their friends. Definetly not what I expected when I made the first episode. As long as people like it I'm happy.

Yesterday I also rowed in the championship eight race before the quad race. We got 9th out of 15th in that race . I think this year is a building season for the team.

We push off the dock. Somehow I have to figure out how to steer the boat with my foot and row at the same time and become an expert at it before we reach the start of the race. It's a bit wobbly at first. I look over my shoulder on the recovry, but that causes my hands to drop and the boat to lean to one side. Steering is the exact opposite of how Anne descirbed it. If I point my foot left, then the boat goes left. It takes me a few minutes to get used to that. Abby keeps shouting back to me to stay away from the edge of the river because of sunken trees. We're doing pretty well and it looks like a straight strech for a bit. Look over my shoulder one more time and realize that a dock is 10 meters away and we're approaching it fast. I yell to wayen off and hold water. 4 meters from the dock we come to a rest. It's a close call, but no damage done. I'm still learning how to row and steer at the same time. A while later we have to stop one more time when I almost steer us into the shore, but I'm making progress.

Eventually we make it up to start. A wave of nervousness hits me as I look at the other crews. It's a mix of high school, college, and club crews and I'm sure that everyone else has much more experiance. No longer am I thinking about winning or placing, now I just want to be able to finish the race without hitting anything or going off the course.

We start off strong. I'm suprised at the stroke rate. It's a lot higher than it was rowing up, but I adjust. I've started to get the hang of looking over my shoulder, steering, and rowing at the same time. The first turn goes pretty well. There's a boat in front of us that looks like we'll be able to pass it. The next turn comes and we creep up on it even more. In the straightaway we pull ahead. I see it's number 455. We're 458. There's a turn about 500 meters ahead and I try and cut across the river in order to get the tightest turn possible, but my calculations are off and I cut too far. We lose precious ground and time. Ana catches a crab and the boat we just passed rows on by us as we stop so she can get her oar back to normal.

We start rowing again and soon are even with 455 again. They yell at us to give way, but we're pulling ahead of them and they also have plenty of room. Behind us I see two boats collide oars and don't feel as bad about 455.

The next turn isn't as close as I want and I'm afraid we lost ground on it until I see another turn ahead and realize that if I'd cut the last turn tighter, then we'd be in a bad position for the next turn. As it is we're in a pretty good position. Things are going fairly well. The set and power are better than I expected.

400 meters from the finish my hands suddenly feel like they are on fire. It's the searing pain I recognize as raw skin rubbing against my oar handle. My body screams for me to let go of the oar, but I push on. The finish is just ahead.

I yell 10 more strokes and start to count them off, but it only takes 6 before we cross the finish line. I look down at my hands and find them stained black from the oar and see a piece of skin hanging off my finger where a blister formed and popped. Underneath it's red and raw. I have 3 other new blisters that are still intact. Gripping the oar lightly we row to the docks and collapse. It's all over.

When the results come back we find that we got 3rd place out of 16. Not bad for a boat with three of the rowers who have never raced in a quad, and one rower who has not only not raced in a quad for a year, but also never steered one. I was very happy.

So tired, but yet I'm still awake writting this for no reason. Tomorrow I only have one class because Mil Art is a drop due to the lecture on Monday, and I leave with the Crew team for VA at 10 am.

Reasons I'm tired:
2.5 hours of sleep last night
Morning crew practice
EN302 essay
Afternoon derigging
Excitment about seeing Les Miserables


Les Miserables was awesome, although some other critics disagreed. I was so happy that I actually got to see it again that I ignored anything that would make it less than awesome in my mind. I went to see it with Dieudonne and Lorin.

Time for bed.

Brandon tasked me with coming up with a skit for a saftey briefing. This is the one I thought of for drinking and driving:

People involved: Narrator and two actors.

This is Dan (waves)
This is Jen (waves)
This is Dan having a few beers at a party (pretends to drink)
This is Jen getting ready to go out with friends to a party (pretends to do makeup or whatever)
This is Dan deciding that he's sober enough to drive. (throws keys up in the air and misses them when he tries to catch them)
This is Jen after Dan hits her with his car. ( Jen laying on ground covered by a white sheet)
Don't drink and drive.


Unfortunatly, when I sent it to him he emailed me back and said our topic was drugs, so I had to think of a new skit. Oh well.

:):):) I'm going to see Les Miserables on Thursday evening :):):) I hope the production is done well.

7:48.2...Not Good Enough! I think this is mental, just like how breaking 8.00.0 was mental. My boat's goal is to have everyone under 7:40.0 by the end of the season.

I'm happy. Today I bought The Strongest Strongs Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible and also the cd Myself When I Am Real by Bebo Norman. They aren't supposed to get here until sometime between November 5 and 7th, but I'm hoping that they get here sooner.

I just finished reading Not Even A Hint by Joshua Harris. It's a good book and has a different focus than his previous two books. Now I'm starting to read The Four Loves by CS Lewis. Anne was reading it and kept talking about it so I decided to read it.

Sorry it's a bit late in saying it , but thank you thank you thank you S.Woods for the gift certificate.

One another note, it's grey and rainy here. Wearing my As For Class uniform under raincoat down to the boathouse wasn't such a smart idea this afternoon. By the time I got there my pants were soaked up to my knees. Once again I was reminded of just how similar wet wool and wet dog smell. Gotta love the uniforms here. On the way back to my room Anne and Jordan were jumping in puddles. At first I avoided the puddles and laughed at Anne and Jordan, but then once we got into North Area I decided that I was soaked already and might as well have some fun too. There were a few good puddles that I managed to make a large splash in. It was fun.

I have CS AI in about 15 minutes. Blah...

I'm trying to think up a new Joe Bear episode, but my mind is blank. There are a few ideas, but I'm saving them for later on when they'd be easier to do. Most of my friends seem to like Joe Bear, although Celio emailed me and told me I was scaring him. Of course, that was Celio saying that.

Les Miserables is here this week. I really want to go see it. It's a great show and I've seen it twice. Once in 5th grade and once in 9th grade. I used to have the complete soundtrack, but lost it when I left all of my CD's on the bus to Fort Knox two summers ago during Buckner. The only days that I can see it this week are Thursday or Sunday. Tuesday I have OCF, Wednesday I have Bible Study, and then Friday and Saturday I'll be in Virginia for the Head of the Occoquan regatta.

How did Navy manage to gain 40 seconds on my boat and end up in first place? Grrr... Anyway, that was a freakin awesome race. We rowed the best we've rowed all season. I was a bit nervous because my back has been killing me all week and I wasn't sure what rowing woudl do to it. I was supposed to row a 2k on Thursday, but I went down at 5:30am to row it and found that I still couldn't bend forward without pain. I slept on the the floor Thursday night to see if that would help, but I don't think it did. I've been taking Alleve and streching it out a lot and today it finally seemed a bit better. During the race it hurt some, but I did my best to ignore it and row. The good news is that now, a few hours later, it doesn't seem to hurt at all. I can stand up without pain shooting down my leg. It's still a bit tight, but hopefully if I continue to stretch it and relax, then it'll go away. This is so cool that it's actually better after rowing. I thought it would be a lot worse. I'm sure not going to complain.

My Aunt Sandy and cousin Nikki, or Nicki, came to the race. I haven't seen my Aunt for probably 7 years or so. That's just a guess. I have a great story about how I got to see her today. She had called me on Thursday to find out when my race was, and since it was at 5:15pm she said that her and Nikki would call me on my cell phone and find me after the race. There were a ton of schools there today and I never got a call from her, so I wasn't sure how she was going to find me. After the race was over and we were rowing back to the docking area I said a short prayer that she'd find someone from the Army team that could direct her to where we were and that I'd get to see her. A minute or so after that I Iooked out of the boat (I know I'm not supposed to do that) and saw CPT Windamyer (wrong spelling). We all yelled and said hi to him. Then, I saw a woman and a teenage girl walking down the path. We were pretty far away and I could'nt see their faces, and I haven't seen my aunt in years, or my cousin in a year, but I knew right away that was them. They saw CPT Windamyer and I saw them point in the direction of the Army crew site. Then, I yelled out "That's my Aunt Sandy!" Jamye, Amber, and I started yelling out her name and waving (yet another bad thing for a rower to do while rowing). She looked over and waved, and I waved, although I doubt that either of us could see each other's faces. When my boat finally made it back to the dock and got off, Anne came running up and said "Kate, I found your Aunt" and there was my aunt and my cousin standing there wearing the same color clothing as the people that I had waved to before, so I'm guessing it was them. I only got to talk to them for a few minutes, but it was really cool to see them again. Hoepfully they'll be able to come to the Dad Vail regatta in the spring and bring Dan as well. He had a hockey game today and so he couldn't come.

AHHH!!! I need patience.

Recently I haven't felt like writing, so I haven't been writing much at all.

Yesterday was one of the best birthday's I've ever had, and it was at West Point. Who would've thought? I have the greatest friends in the whole world.

Right now life is really good, although I don't feel like doing much work.

The three scariest words I've heard: "Happy Birthday SGT."

I'M 20!!!! How did this happen?

It's Mike's and my last day as teenagers. I mentioned to Anne this evening at dinner that it was my last meal as a teenager and she said "WHAT? You're still a teenager?!? You are young!." I thought she knew that already, but I can't blame her. I don't know the ages of half of my friends. Actually, I take that back. I do know most of their ages, but the whole age thing really doesn't matter that much to me anymore. Most of my friends are between 19 and 23, but everyone seems the same age when it comes down to it.

My friends keep asking what I want for my birthday. I tell them I want no stress and free time. Unfortunatly, I don't think I'll get either of those. Oh well.

This afternoon I went to the trainers to have my shoulder checked out. They put me on physical therapy for now. In 3 weeks they'll reevaluate me and see if I need x-rays and an MRI. At least the last crew race is in 2 weeks, so I won't have that to worry about.

I'm off to Boston today for the Head of the Charles regatta. My race is on Sunday around noon.

Sleep is good. I think I'll get some more right now.

I knew that once I started watching the game the Sox would lose. Stupid Yankees. Grrr....

It's a grey and overcast day here today. Tonight I have a CS project due at midnight. That''ll be interesting.

Over the weekend Stephanie called. She told me that she's going to be getting engaged soon. I'm really happy for her, but it hasn't hit me yet that one of my friends is getting engaged. First people Heidi's age started to get married, and now all of Betsy's friends are getting married, but people my age...no. I'm only 19. I'm stuck in the place between being a teenager and being an adult. Things like marrige are something I want eventually, but right now seem too far off to even think very much about. Steph, yes, she has a boyfriend, but I think when it actually hits me that she's engaged I'll be a bit more taken aback because that line between childhood and being an adult will be even smaller for me. A few of my classmates in my company are engaged. It doesn't seem real to me. It makes me feel old, but yet so young. I'm no where near that point in my life, as far as I know. Now my friends are going from dating to being engaged to people.

Stephanie and I played softball and basketball together all through middle school and became really good friends in high school. Now she's in the Air Force and I'm in the Army, but I still think of us like we were in high school. Still young, still growing up. The real world hasn't hit me yet. Perhaps that's because I live a very sheltered life here. Just about everything is taken care of for me in the sense of real world worries. The only things I have to worry about are school work, wpr's, having a clean room, staying in shape, beating Navy, getting places on time, and the other little stresses of life at West Point. Sure, at times they seem so huge, but in comparison to real world problems they are quite small. I have a roof over my head, a place to sleep, and 3 meals a day all provided to me, along with a monthly paycheck. This is the good life. Life here is like middle school. Maybe the outside world is like that as well. Full of rumors of who's dating who, what so and so did, and what new minor stress is placed upon our lives upsetting the rest and relaxation we think we deserve for working so hard at keeping our appearance neat, our grades good, taking care of those for whom we are tasked with resposibility, and playing sports.

This weekend I went to philly for the Navy day regatta and also pass with some of my friends. It was a really good time, except for the fact at the regatta we didn't win, we didn't place, and we lost to Navy. The hotel we stayed at was really nice and right in the center of downtown Philly. On Saturday morning Annah, Anne and I went and watched part of a rugby tournament before our race. Then after the regatta we went to Hard Rock Cafe for dinner with Celio and Leah. After that we headed down to South Street, except we ended up walking in the wrong direction on South Street and had to turn around after about 20 min. It was pretty fun though. I got to talk to Frank that night. I haven't talked to him in forever. We talked for about 40 minutes while everyone explorered a little used bookstore. Around midnight we headed back to the hotel and all crashed in one room and rented a movie. Anne and I were pretty tired and kept falling asleep, except for when Celio thought it'd be fun to attack us. Leah kept him in line for the most part. The movie ended around 3am and we all headed to bed. Our plan to get up and go to Church in the morning pretty much fell through the cracks.

I finally woke up and stayed awake around noon on Sunday. Annah had gotten up earlier to go exploring and get some breakfast, but had left a note saying where she went. Everyone got up and Anne, Celio, and I went and got lunch at a nice cafe that Annah, Anne, and I went to for breakfast on Saturday. Then we met up with Annah and went and watched some protesters protesting something. I had a reaction to what was going on that I hadn't expected. I'm still trying to figure it out. Leah had gone to Catholic Mass and we met up with her when that was over. Then we all walked to the Natural Science Muesum, or is it Academy? Anyway, we explored there for a few hours and took a bunch of pictures. It was about 4pm when we left, so we headed to China town and walked around for awhile. For dinner we ate at a Thai resturant. After that we grabbed a cab and went across the city to a movie theater and watched School of Rock. It's a pretty good movie. Annah loved it. When it was over we got another cab and went back to South Street to the Haggen Daz there for icecream. We were all tired from walking around the city all day and so we headed back to the hotel and once again all crashed in a room and rented Bad Boys II. We all went to bed before the movie was even over. Celio and Leah had a rental car, and Annah, Anne, and I had a rental car, but none of us used them when we were exploring the city.

This morning we left the hotel around 9:30am and went to King of Prussia mall because Anne and Celio both needed some pants, but I don't think either of them actually were successful in finding a pair. Leah and I both got bored clothes shopping and so we went to Build-a-Bear. I ended up making a cowboy teddy bear. He was going to be a soldier, but Leah suggested a cowboy and that seemed lika a good idea for a couple of reasons. Celio watched and laughed. After that we all started the trip back to school. This trip only involved one wrong turn in which we started heading South-West instead of North-East.

Overall the weekend was really fun. It was great getting away from school for a few days. I hope all of the plebes had a good Plebe-Parent Weekend.

The internet decided that it'd be fun to go down in my room and the 5 other rooms down the hall towards Mac Long. That's why I'm sitting here in the basement of Thayer on a Thursday night about to work on my CS384 project. On the way down here I realized that I'd forgotten to bring the code to unlock the door to the room, so I had to my a stop by a CS major's room who's room is on the way, and who thankfully lives on the first floor. She actually didn't know the combination, but sent me down the hall to someone who did know it. Then I quickly went and visited Amanda and brought her a few of the snickerdoodle's the Jordan and I baked today at the Schumachers' house. I love the Schumachers and don't know how I'll survive next year when they're gone.

I really don't feel like working on my project right now, and to make matter worse, I can't seem to access my email. My email has the email that my teacher sent me telling me what I need to fix. This is all rather annoying. Why am I a CS major? I don't understand anything. On the up side, I passed all of my wpr's last week. I don't know why my grade was for my MA372 wpr, but my teacher told us that they lowest grade in the class was a 70% and that he's going to curve the test a little.

Tomorrow I leave for Philadelphia for the weekend. Well, I leave as long as the TAC approves my pass. On Saturday I have the Navy Day Regatta. The rest of the weekend I'll be hanging out in Philly with Annah, Anne, Leah, Celio, and Kristen. We're all staying in rooms at a 4.5 star hotel for three nights. I'm really looking forward to this weekend. Philly is one of my favorite cities. I like it a lot better then NYC.

Proverbs 16:1-9 keeps showing up recently. Last night I was talking to my friend Amanda on IM and she mentioned it, then this evening I got an email from somebody else that was those verses. I think they also showed up somewhere else today, but I can't remember where. I'm not sure what message I'm supposed to be getting out of the verses as related to my life.

Last night I got 10 hours of sleep. I don't remember the last time I got that much sleep. On Thursday I was planning to go to bed around midnight, but then I started working on my lab report for EE and realized that it required more than I thought. I also started talking to Amanda on IM, and then later Anne, Annah, Leah, and Matt and ended up getting only 2 hours of sleep. Friday I spent in a daze trying to make it through the day. In the evening Leah, Celio, Amanda, Heather, Brian, and I went over to the Schumacher's house. We had taco's for dinner and then roasted marshmellows over a fire in the backyard and made s'mores. After that we headed back inside and Amanda and Brian started wrestling in the family room. Brian took her down really easily each time, and then Celio joined in. Brian and Celio would gang up against Amanda, and the Schumacher's little boys would jump on everybody. I really wanted to join in, but won't unless someone attacks me first. Celio kept looking at me and shaking his head no, which really confused me because I couldn't figure out why he was keeping me out of it. Eventually they all stopped fighting and then Celio attacked me. I had no idea how I would fair against him since he wrestled in high school, but I did okay. He liked to try and go for the chokes, but I managed to avoid those pretty well. At one point I actually had him just about pinned, and he of course had me just about pinned a few times, but we both managed to escape those and keep on fighting. In the end I lost because I didn't have the endurace. MAJ Schumacher is a little worried about my shoulder and he said he was suprised that it hadn't popped out. He doesn't like it when I pop in in and out. I've been able to do that since 5th grade and it isn't a big deal to me most of the time, although occasionally it interferes when I'm doing push-ups, sculling, or holding my arms out.

On Friday at the Schumacher's Celio told me that I was becoming more violent. I'm not sure if that's true or not, but it bothered me in anycase. I talked to Annah about it and she said that it's probably because I'm frustrated and need a way to get out my frustration. She said that her and Anne are the same way. I think she's right about me just being really frustrated recently. Plebe year I used to dread coming back to West Point, but that went away last year. However, that feeling has returned this year. I really didn't want to come back from the trip this weekend. School means lots of stress, little sleep, and no free time.

On Saturday I left for Lowell, MA with the Crew team. We had the Head of the Textile Regatta on Sunday. That went pretty well. It was the longest race of the year, 3.5 miles. As Margo likes to say, you just have to "gut it out." I was a bit nervous because I think I strained my lower back a bit when I fought Celio and it hurt to row and to bend over, but once the actual race started my adrenaline started pumping and the pain went away. We didn't win, but overall we did okay. One boat passed us and we passed one boat.

This morning I had the usual DAC couseling to go over my 8TAP courses and make sure that I have all the classes I need. When we looked over my courses for the rest of my time here he told me that next semester looked like it'd be really rough, especially since I had 2 PE classes. I had been expecting next semester to be a bit easier because I thought I was getting my PE classes out of the way this semester, along with Cow English and a few other courses. This semester seems much harder than any other one, and when he told me next semester looked worse, I was about to cry ( not really, but my moral hit rock bottom). Then I looked at what he was looking at and realized that he had confused this semster with last semester, and this semester is the really really hard one. Next semester should be better. I was so relieved because he had really scared me for a minute. I have 9 classes right now, 6 of which I consider to be really demanding. The other 3 are Cow Fitness, Tennis, and Military Science. They basically just take up more of my time that I could be using to focus on my other classes.

Happy Birthday Matt!

Last night I went to bed right at taps and was out by the time the taps check person came around. At 12 my phone started ringing. I have no idea how I woke up and heard it ringing. Maybe Alyson woke me up and told me my phone was ringing. All I know is that I got up and answered the phone thinking that it was probably one of the people in my Fitness Leader group calling to talk about the project. I didn't recognize their voice and they said their name was Matt S., but there wasn't a Matt S. in my group. I know of a Pat S. who goes to school here who some of my friends are friends with, but I had no idea why he would be calling me. He asked if he had woken me up, and I said yes. He seemed to know me, but I couldn't figure out how. I was really confused and so I asked the person again who they were and they repeated their name. Still no recognition as I racked my brain trying to figure out who it was calling me. Then I think they repeated their name again and all of a sudden I guess I woke up a little more and it hit me. It's Matt! One of the greatest guys in the whole wide world. One of my best friends from homel and who I had tried calling earlier that evening. I let out a happy "Oh! It's you!" Alyson started laughing because she had been hearing me sound really confused. I felt pretty bad for not figuring out who it was sooner. I really wanted to talk to him and catch up because we haven't talked for awhile, but I really needed sleep.

Last night I got 7 hours of sleep, but today I've been in a daze all day and feel like I pulled another all-nighter last night. It should be Friday by now.

I'm now at 80 minutes of sleep in the past 41.5 hours. I shouldn't complain though. At least I was able to get some sleep, and tonight I can sleep. When Mindy sent out an email about the captains practice tomorrow morning, I was very tempted to actually go, but the more I think about it the more I'm realizing that would probably hurt me more than it would help me. We have our first race this week, the Textile Regatta in Lowell MA, and for that I need ot be well rested. Right now the simplest things are far to complicated, such as addition.

Tomorrow is Matt's Birthday. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT!!!! I hope he has a great day.

The Thayer Award dinner was this evening. It was presented to GEN (R) Sullivan. The dinner lasted 2 hours.

Yesterday CSM Butts talked to my company about personal character. It was a really good talk, I just wish I could remember more of it right now. I rememeber him using Bill Clinton as an example. CSM Butts talked about how former President Clinton was an amazing orator. He had tremendous speaking abilities and people skills, but he cheated on his wife and had affairs, thus showing a lack of character. He also talked about how you have to develop character. It isn't suddenly handed to you one day. I really wish I could remember more of what he said. Perhaps it'll come back to me when I'm more awake.

40 minutes of sleep in the last 34 hours. I'm about to hopefully get another 30 or so minutes in before practice. Tomorrow morning I don't think I'll make it to the captain's practice. Last night around 4:30am I took a tiny break from my work and wrote a short poem and sent it to a few friends on IM. All I rememeber is that it rhymed. I wish I still had the poem.

There are 30% more D's and F's then usual at 6 week grades right now in the corps. The funny thing is, it's a dean's weekend this weekend, but we're still having a SAMI. Know what would be nice. A break. Wait, those don't exsist here. Nevermind.

I have one weird thing to add about the whole elevator thing. Yesterday morning the upper three classes in my company had a meeting down in the dayroom at 6:20am. When we were leaving the meeting we could't use the elevator because it was broken. The door was open and I noticed that the floor of the elevator was a few inches below the normal floor level where it usually stops. In my dream that is a reaccuring thing, except the difference is a few feet instead of a few inches. That's usually the thing that makes me the most nervous in my dreams because in the dreams it's a sign that something is wrong with the elevator and it could go crashing to the ground at any minute and therefore I have to get out of it. The elevator worked again by the evening and I rode it up to my room after practice.

It's going to be a long day tomorrow that starts very early and ends really late. I hope I survive. At least there's OCF:)

Why do I keep having dreams about me being in an elevator and it breaking? It's not that it breaks and I'm trapped inside and can't get out, it's that it's on the verge of crashing down to the ground. I've had a dream with that in it at least twice. One of them was on Sunday afternoon. Does it mean anything?

Yesterday was a really good day. The SAMI in the morning really was more like Saturday AMI then a big huge inspection. That was probably due in part to the fact that all the firsties had the junior leader panels durning the sami and so none of them were around to inspect. During the sami it started pouring outside. Whereas my parent's we praying that it'd stop raining because the Michigan Parents Club tailgate area was starting to flood, Alyson and I were staring outside the window hoping that it would continue raining for awhile and were dissapointed everytime it started to let up a little. At the very last minute they called off the parade, but that was after they had us all form up indoors under arms. ESPN was here and they really wanted to have a parade.

Army lost 28-0 to USF, the score was 0-0 until the last minute in the first half. The second half I went over and stood with Annah, Anna, and Kristen and stopped paying attention to the game. After the game I went back, changed, and went down to the MI Parents Club tailgate. I got there at the tail end of it, but had to stick around to help clean up because my parents were in charge of it this year.

After that my parents and I went to the Schumachers house. Brian was there with his parents as well. I was hoping that Heather or Amanda would be there as well, but it ended up being just us. I love the Schumachers. They are such good people. We all talked for awhile, and both Brian and my parents told a few somewhat embarrasing stories about each of us. It wasn't as bad as when Leah's parents came up for her birthday. They left us with plenty of stuff to make fun of her for, all in good fun of course. I love my friends, and so do my parents, and my friends love them, so it works out really well. Last night as I was saying bye to them, my parents told me they thought I was friends with some really good poeple.

When I got back to the barracks I felt like watching the movie 8 Seconds, but James wasn't around and so I couldn't borrow it from him. I saw him a little later and told me that I should've gone out with brandon, him, and alyson because they had a lot of fun. Somehow that evolved into us starting to grapple in the hallway. He said that he'd beat me and win, I said he wouldn't. Nobody really ended up winning, although he claims that since I wasn't able to get him out of my chair that he won. We need a rematch.

Both WPR's are done. I have no idea how I did on either of them, but both of them served to remind me why I am not a Sosh or an APL major. I can't crap out pages and pages of writing. Even if I know the subject really well, I still don't write very much. On papers I'm usually the person struggling to meet the minimum number of words. I can write well if I have the time and put effort into it, but whereas a lot of my classmates are able to write 6 pages on an essay, I only write 3.

On a completly different subject, I think I have an eye infection. My left eye is a little red, although I think it's looking a little better than it did last night. Hopefully it's not pink eye. It's not itching, so I think that's a good sign. However, I'm wearing glasses today as a precaution. I miss my contacts.

My parents are here, although I haven't seen them yet and won't get to see them until this evening at the crew bbq. With them comes my laptop all fixed. yay!

Coach is awesome! His latest email to the team is hilarious:

There is a very good reason the USN uses big print on its navel boats. You see that branch of the service has the lowest literacy rate of any U.S. Government run program, lower even than toll collectors, the border patrol, and the people who hand out food stamps. Far lower than the Coast Guard, for example. The Navy needs those big letters on boats so that chief petty officers (now just stop for a second and think how ridiculous that sounds) can help secondary chief petty officers instruct the lowly seaman on how to read, e.g. a sailor on the Arleigh Burke. CPO to lowly squid: "Now son, you see that first big letter on our boat, the one that comes to a peak, and then slants out? It has a crossbar across it. That is an A which is the first letter of the service we all would be in if we could only qualify for it. You don't have to worry about the other letters, just take this mop and slop bucket and clean up the floor. That's what we spend 95 % of our time doing here. Just watch out for Ms. Ike Ord. She is a real b.
because the first part of her name sounds like that of a great Army General."
And that's the way life is in the Navy, and Heather, navel, boat, and floor are all intentional. What can one say about an alledged branch of the military that since it does nothing, clings to its quaint phrases such as gangway, bulkhead (really a better term for the Chief of Naval Operations) and deck?
BEAT AIR FORCE, if you can.
Best,
Coach

Today should be a Friday. It'd be great if it were Friday, because then I'd be done with both wpr's and the presentation. All I'd have left would be tennis, cs class, yoga with crew team lead by one of the lead actors in Xena Warrior Princess, crew BBQ, a little time with my parents, and then cleaning for sami.

My AFC shirt is very annoying. The shoulders are too small, and so I can't reach all the way forward, but the waist area on it is huge and always bunches up. My dress-offs don't stay.

God has done some really good things in my life recently. He's shown me that when I turn everything over to Him, it turns out a lot better than I could ever do on my own. I don't know how to explain how I feel. I guess the best description is that I feel at peace.

I miss New Mexico.

This is awesome!

http://www.pressaprint.com/som/WeSupportU2.htm

This is awesome!

http://www.pressaprint.com/som/WeSupportU2.htm

Today in English we were discussing Russian culture as usual and my teacher was once again trying to impress on us why the revolution at the turn of the century didn't work. In order to make his point he decided to use West Point as an example. For this he turned to me and asked "Is there anyone who goes to this school who you despise?" For a second I was a bit shocked by the question and didn't want to answer it, but I said "yes". He then asked "Is there anyone here that you want nothing to do with and never want to see?" Again I had to answer "yes". Alyson, who sits right beside me in class, was trying to keep from chuckling the whole time because she thought it was rather amusing that he had chosen to ask me those questions.

For the rest of the day the first question bothered me. Do I really despise anyone? The more I think about it, the more I don't like the thought of actually despising, loathing, scorning, or any related synonym. Those all walk a very fine line next to hate. I've found the more I focused on how much I dislike someone, the more angry I became and the more miserable my life is. Forgivness is an amazing thing, and so is prayer. If I could, I think I'd retract my answer to the first question.

I figured out the problem. I posted them to the wrong blog. Stupid me.

Where are the two posts I wrote on w.bloggar?

Stress level = very high
therefore,
Kate = easily annoyed and irritable
beware.


This week is a major Thayer week, and the worst part is that I didn't ever realize it until it hit.
Monday: APFT, Mil Art Quiz
Tuesday: CS Project 1 resubmission due
Wednesday: CS Project 2 part 1 due
Thursday: EE Lab IPR 2 due, English Paper due to Peer editor
Friday: Mil Art WPR, IR WPR, Cow Fitness Presentation,
Saturday: SAM Company BBQ (?)
Overall: 6 week grades due

Somehow I think a lot of weeks will be like this for me.

"..Wait for the guy who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kinda guy who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the guy who can look you in the eye and touch your heart all within one glance... Wait for the guy who will be your best friend, who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances are. Wait for the guy who makes you smile like no one else-- and when he smiles you know he needs you. Wait for the guy who wants to show you off to the world even when you are in your sweats, with your hair pulled up, and no make-up on... but appreciates it when you get dolled up for him. Wait for the guy that calls you his girl, makes it official, and tells the World... Most of all, wait for the guy who will put you at the center of his universe cause that's where you belong."

Done with the APFT. YAY!

36 Push-ups (90 pts)
73 Sit-ups (92 pts)
16:49 2-mile run time (84 pts)
Total: 266 pts

I think that's actually my best point total so far. Not my best push-up or run time, but it's the most sit-ups I've gotten. I got cut a few push-ups, but after I was done the CPT grading me said that my form was pretty good. Compared to some people my score's not great, but for me it's a personal best. Perhaps next time if I actually train for the APFT then I'll tab it. This time I really didn't train at all, especially for the run. If I can knock off 25 seconds, then I'll have the APFT tab.

I know I've been writing a lot more about God, my relationship with Him, and stuff like that....

I'll expound on that thought later. It's getting late. I need to get ot bed.

Today's been a really good day. At Church I sat with Amanda, Brian, and the Schumackers. Then Amanda, Brian, and I went to brunch. We stayed there for a pretty long time. Amanda and I were goofing around and Brian was giving us weird looks and making fun of us, especially when he found out that Amanda had an imaginary friend that was a panda with wings named Fuzzle when she was little, and that I had an imaginary friend named Bob that got ran over by a chicken. Poor Bob, may he rest in peace.

After brunch I went back to my room and took a nap, which ended when the fire alarm started to sound. The yucks and plebe's haven't learned that when the fire alarm sounds in Mac Short, instead of going outside you can just go over to Mac Long, and vice versa. It's very rare that both sides have fire alarms going off at the same time. Once the alarm stopped, I went back to my room and started reading for Mil Art. Tomorrow there's a quiz on the battle of York Town.

Instead of listening to my usual selection of Tim McGraw, Jimmy Wayne, or Staind, I decided to listen to one of Johannes cd's. Piano is good music to read by. Then I started listening to a Christian station on Launchcast. After a little while I noticed that I had a strong urg to start praying and worshiping God, so I did. That's never happened before in the middle of homework. What's cool is some songs that I know came on and so I was able to silently sing along with them and pray. Alyson was in the room and so I didn't want to bother her. It was a really good prayer time.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

This evening, after I had finished my mil art and IR reading, I decided to give Matt and Frank a call. I don't think I've talked to Matt since I was in New Mexico, or maybe I did right after I got back to school. In any case, it's been awhile. With Frank it's been even longer. I saw him for about 5 min when I was home the second time this summer, but haven't really talked to him since at least June. Sadly, Matt wasn't around and when I called Frank's house to get his new phone number, his sister told me he doesn't have his phone yet, but will be home tomorrow so I could try calling him then. Unfortuantly, I'll probably be at crew practice.

Tomorrow morning I'm hopefully going to take the APFT. Fun times.

Awesome song:

MEASURE OF A MAN by 4Him

This world can analize and size you up and throw you on the scales
They can I.Q. you and run you through
Their rigorous details
They can do their best to rate you
And they'll place you on the charts
And then back it up with scientific smarts
But there's more to what you're worth
Than their human eyes can see

Oh, I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
Well, you can doubt your worth
And search for who you are
And where you stand
But God made you in His image
When He formed you in His hands
And He looks at you with mercy
And He sees you through His love
You're His child and that will always be enough
For there's more to what you're worth
Than you could ever comprehend

Oh I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
You can spend your life persuing physical perfection
There is so much more
More than ever meets the eye
For God looks through the surface
And He defines your worth by what is on the inside
I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines

Oh, I say the measure of
The measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand,
How wealthy or intelligent you are
Oh, I've found the measure of a man
God knows and understands it
For He looks to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
Yeah, what's in the heart defines
Yeah, what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
I know, I know

Abigail Van Buren:
The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back.

The worse things get, the more hurtfull things I hear, the more I turn it all over to God and draw closer to Him.

Happy Birthday Mom! I love you :)

This "informal" sami better be very informal. According to normal college standards my room is spotless, perfect, and very very very clean. According to sami standards it's a disaster are, not fit living conditions, and is one of the dirtiest places in the world. I didn't duest and my sweeping job was less than poor. Jason still has my swiffer from the last sami.

One another note, recently I've had a lot to write about, but no time to time or motivation to write. When I do have free time I'm either studying or sleeping. Mostly sleeping. On that note, I think I'll go sleep some more.

7:48.6 2k time today. Coach Holland thought it was a personal best for me, but I think I beat that by 1 second or so last year. Still, a year ago at this time I hadn't even broken 8 minutes, or at least I don't think I had.

"Lord, show me what is in my heart, soul, mind, spirit and life that shouldn't be there. Teach me what I am not understanding. Convict me where I am misssing the mark. Tear down my arrogance, pride, fear, and insecurities, and help me to see the truth about myself, my life, and my cirmcumstances. Expose me to myself, Lord. I can take it. Enable me to correct the error of my ways. Help me to replace lies with truth and make changes that last."

That's a really hard prayer for me to pray, just like I'm not that thrilled about praying for humility. Sure, it's something I need and in the long run I'll be much better off, but getting there isn't very fun. In fact, it's rather painfull sometimes. Nobody, especially me, likes to have their weaknesses exposed, not even to themselves, but it's only when they are exposed that they can be taken care of. I need courage to pray that prayer.