Recently I've been having trouble getting to sleep at night. That is very strange for me. Usually I fall asleep about 5-10 minutes after I go to bed, but for the past week or so I've been laying in bed tossing and turning for a long time. Last night I went to bed at 1am and was still awake at 2am. My mind keeps racing and I can't stop thinking about anything and everything. I think it's due mainly to stress.

This past weekend I ended up not going on pass at the last minute. I decided that it'd be best if I stayed here and worked.

I know that Thanksgiving is still 2 weeks away and Christmas is a month and a half away, but I've started listening to Christmas music. It cheers me up a bit.

Am I happy? Will the rest of my life be like this? If that is the case, then I don't think I want the rest of my life to happen. I want to wake up in the morning and be happy, like what I'm doing, and have hope. Right now I feel like I'm falling further and further behind each day and am more and more of a failure. I've come to realize that I like computers, how networks work, their physical components, and learning how to do creative things on the computer, but I'm not sure I actually like programming and the stuff I learn in CS. I love doing things with the computer when it is for other people, but I find it hard when it's only for a class and only benifits myself. Blah.