Now that I've broken 8 min and know I can do it I need to work on improving my time even more. I want to get under 7:45. Maybe then Coach will notice me once again. It's been very humbling going from stroking the novice A boat last year to being in the forgotten four this year. I think Coach Hall might think that I have a really big ego or something. The truth is that he kinda scares me and I feel inferior compared to a lot of the rowers on the team so I don't talk a lot. Today during the briefing I thought of a new goal for myself. I want to be the stroke of the varsity A boat that wins Dade Vails my firstie year. In order to do that I need to step up my almost non-existant personal workouts by lifting and running more. Besides, I need to get in shape in case I go to Airborne school this coming summer. It'd also be great if I lowered my body fat percentage. I don't know what it's at right now, but I'm guessing it's higher that it should be.
More on that later. Time for bed. Yay. Bed. good stuff.
Thursday, October 31, 2002
I BROKE 8 MINUTES!!!!!
For the past few days I've had the feeling that if I rowed a 2k on the erg that I finally break 8 min. That's been my goal since last fall and there have been a few times when I've been really close, like one tenth of a second one time, but I could never seem to break it. On Monday I decided that this week I wanted to try again and so I decided that I would on Tuesday before practice, but then on Tuesday I was talking to Leah and she said that on Wednesday Coach was going to have us all row a 2k with the us being coxed. Today I had the feeling that today was the day. Ann was the coxswain for Beth, Abby, Molly, and I. This time was a little different because we were supposed to row it like a race and she would call power 10's and 20's at the different points. I started out a little too fast with the first 20 strokes, in fact I think I saw a 1:41 split time reading very briefly. That was one of the hardest 2k's I've ever rowed, but mentally it was a lot better. I was expecting around a 7:58 or higher time for the piece, but when I was done and looked at my score I saw a 7:52.1 staring at me. It was awesome. Of course, physically I felt like crap, but I also felt like shouting for joy. I didn't mind the fact that I felt like throwing up, was about to fall over when I stood up, and my throat was on fire. I was just happy that I'd finally broken 8 min.
For the past few days I've had the feeling that if I rowed a 2k on the erg that I finally break 8 min. That's been my goal since last fall and there have been a few times when I've been really close, like one tenth of a second one time, but I could never seem to break it. On Monday I decided that this week I wanted to try again and so I decided that I would on Tuesday before practice, but then on Tuesday I was talking to Leah and she said that on Wednesday Coach was going to have us all row a 2k with the us being coxed. Today I had the feeling that today was the day. Ann was the coxswain for Beth, Abby, Molly, and I. This time was a little different because we were supposed to row it like a race and she would call power 10's and 20's at the different points. I started out a little too fast with the first 20 strokes, in fact I think I saw a 1:41 split time reading very briefly. That was one of the hardest 2k's I've ever rowed, but mentally it was a lot better. I was expecting around a 7:58 or higher time for the piece, but when I was done and looked at my score I saw a 7:52.1 staring at me. It was awesome. Of course, physically I felt like crap, but I also felt like shouting for joy. I didn't mind the fact that I felt like throwing up, was about to fall over when I stood up, and my throat was on fire. I was just happy that I'd finally broken 8 min.
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
Yes, I am listening to Christmas music right now. I love Christmas and the period leading up to it. I know it's still a long ways off, but the music makes me happy and peaceful. Plus, it snowed today which makes it even better. Okay, so it was only around three flakes which I didnt' even see, but that doesn't matter. It still snowed. James was complaining about it and saying that he wants to temp to go back up to 80 degrees while I was saying how happy I was that it snowed. I guess that's the difference between people from Michigan and people from Texas. I'm happy with every season because I'm used to them all.
Speaking of feeling peaceful, I was at Bible study today and was thinking about how peacefull I felt there. It reminded me a lot of my Church youth group in middle school and high school. I loved the youth group because the people were so special to me and I looked up to them because I was usually the youngest. I didn't talk a whole lot at the meetings, but when I did speak they would listen. The retreats were something I actually looked forward to in the winter. I didn't care for the actual talks on Luther's Small Catachism and stuff, but what I really enjoyed was the rest of the time we had to spend together. The first few years there was a battle between the girls and the guys over spray bottles with water in them. We would each try and steal them from the other team. Going into a guys room wasn't allowed, but we still managed to find ways, usually in the middle of the night, to sneak around and steal them from the guys. I thought that the different youth group leaders, Mike M., Mike S., Lisa, and Susan were some of the coolest people I knew and I really respected them and looked up to them. I loved being around Anna, Jen, Teresa, Donny, Carla, and everybody else. When I was in high school I really like youth group because it was fun being the only girl and I liked hanging out with Matt, Dan, Joe, James, and everyone. I really looked forward to going to Church because I could see all of them. They are all really special to me.
It's amazing! Frank and I actually talked on the phone tonight. The first game of phone/email tag came to an end. We talked for about 45 min. He's doing well, needs sleep, but that goes for just about everyone. I'm really glad that we're talking a lot more again. He's a great guy. Christian, nice, easy to talk to, we both share about the same morals. That is why I want to become better friends with him.
Today I was thinking (i know, me thinking means you should run for your life) about this blog/journal/whatever. Recently I've noticed that I'm watching what I write because of what someone might think. It's not that what I want to write is anything bad or would get anyone in trouble, it's just that someone might take it too literaly or think that my writing is sloppy and I sound stupid, or take something personally that was actually just one of my random thoughts about the world. I don't like the fact that I'm doing that. When I started writing this I told myself that it'd be the one spot where I wounldn't care what other people thought. It was my place to write whatever I wanted and vent. Now I'm putting constraints on my venting and I want to stop doing that. I don't want other people to influance what I do or don't write about. I want people to read my page because it helps me be write and I think it gives them to see the side of me that has a lot to say. I like knowing what other people think about what I write and what their opinions are, but I don't want that to influance me. I need this to be my free space to vent and say some crazy stuff because I can't do it anywhere else. Therefore, I'm going to do my best to write about whatever again. In a way, I feel kinda like I'm being selfish because my main purpose of this page is for My life and other random thoughts and I'm not using it to respond to my friends. I see the comments section as the part where I can step out and talk to them personally.
Crap, it's getting late and that's why I'm rambleing on.
Speaking of feeling peaceful, I was at Bible study today and was thinking about how peacefull I felt there. It reminded me a lot of my Church youth group in middle school and high school. I loved the youth group because the people were so special to me and I looked up to them because I was usually the youngest. I didn't talk a whole lot at the meetings, but when I did speak they would listen. The retreats were something I actually looked forward to in the winter. I didn't care for the actual talks on Luther's Small Catachism and stuff, but what I really enjoyed was the rest of the time we had to spend together. The first few years there was a battle between the girls and the guys over spray bottles with water in them. We would each try and steal them from the other team. Going into a guys room wasn't allowed, but we still managed to find ways, usually in the middle of the night, to sneak around and steal them from the guys. I thought that the different youth group leaders, Mike M., Mike S., Lisa, and Susan were some of the coolest people I knew and I really respected them and looked up to them. I loved being around Anna, Jen, Teresa, Donny, Carla, and everybody else. When I was in high school I really like youth group because it was fun being the only girl and I liked hanging out with Matt, Dan, Joe, James, and everyone. I really looked forward to going to Church because I could see all of them. They are all really special to me.
It's amazing! Frank and I actually talked on the phone tonight. The first game of phone/email tag came to an end. We talked for about 45 min. He's doing well, needs sleep, but that goes for just about everyone. I'm really glad that we're talking a lot more again. He's a great guy. Christian, nice, easy to talk to, we both share about the same morals. That is why I want to become better friends with him.
Today I was thinking (i know, me thinking means you should run for your life) about this blog/journal/whatever. Recently I've noticed that I'm watching what I write because of what someone might think. It's not that what I want to write is anything bad or would get anyone in trouble, it's just that someone might take it too literaly or think that my writing is sloppy and I sound stupid, or take something personally that was actually just one of my random thoughts about the world. I don't like the fact that I'm doing that. When I started writing this I told myself that it'd be the one spot where I wounldn't care what other people thought. It was my place to write whatever I wanted and vent. Now I'm putting constraints on my venting and I want to stop doing that. I don't want other people to influance what I do or don't write about. I want people to read my page because it helps me be write and I think it gives them to see the side of me that has a lot to say. I like knowing what other people think about what I write and what their opinions are, but I don't want that to influance me. I need this to be my free space to vent and say some crazy stuff because I can't do it anywhere else. Therefore, I'm going to do my best to write about whatever again. In a way, I feel kinda like I'm being selfish because my main purpose of this page is for My life and other random thoughts and I'm not using it to respond to my friends. I see the comments section as the part where I can step out and talk to them personally.
Crap, it's getting late and that's why I'm rambleing on.
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
Yesterday I had to vote on a new uniform for West Point. It's the "civilian" uniform. Usually, when I think of civilian clothes I think of the absence of uniforms. The word to me implies freedom. The uniform that the Comm had us vote on was a polo shirt, kahki pants, brown belt, and brown leather shoes. It looks very preppy. This would be what we'd be required to wear to optional dinners, the PX, the bowling alley, and basically time that we're not in the duty uniform or the seasonal uniform. General Brooks wants this because he thinks we're wearing gym-A too much. It's the most comfertable uniform and so everybody changes into it the first chance they get. If the uniform change is approved then we'd only be allowed to wear it when we're actually working out or at practice. Everyone just loves the new Comm.
Monday, October 28, 2002
The only thing that I can think of to compare to what I am feeling right now is the second 500m in a 2k race. The 2k represents the four years at West Point and the second 500m is more specifically Yuck year. To be rather blunt, it sucks. In a 2k race the first 500m go by rather quickly and the pain of the race has not started to set in yet because adrenaline is pumping through the body. Sure, you're really nervous and feel like throwing up while you sit at the starting line and wait for the officals to count down, but then you finally start and everything becomes a blur as there's a rush of adrenaline. You're only thought is passing a boat and not getting passed. Before you know it you're done with the first 500m. As you reach the 1500m mark of the race you realize that you've only gone 500m and are not even half way done. The adrenaline rush starts to fade away and the pain starts to set in as the long haul begins. It doesn't help trying to focus on the finish because it's too far away and only serves to lessen the motivation to row. You think "this is taking forever and we're getting nowhere. Would it really be that bad if I just happend to fall out of the boat right now? What would happen if I just stopped rowing?" You, of course, keep rowing but only for the sheer fact that you don't want to screw over your teammates. Besides, you know deep down that if you quit right now you'd regret it later when the other boats finished. The 3rd 500m is only a little better because at least now you can say that you're in the 3 digits instead of 4. You're still thinking "why do I do this to myself? I never want to row again." The end is looking a little closer, but it doesn't help to think about the fact that you're half way done because the thought "Crap! It took that long to row the first 1000m and I still have 1000m more to go." Once you get to the last 500m you're almost done and there's another surge of adrenaline. It is the most painful part of the race, but you don't really care because you're almost done and the harder you row the sooner it will all be over. Then you hit the finish line and collapse, but feel a tremendous amount of accomplishment having survived the race and stuck with it.
As I said before, that is what West Point feels like. Plebe year you're focused on avoiding the upperclassmen and surviving to yuck year. It sucks, but since you're mainly focused on the present and being prepared for the next time someone asks you a piece of knowledge it all goes by rather quickly. Then comes Yearling Year. Plebe year you thought it'd be great to be a Yuck and were sure that all of the yearlings who were saying that it sucked were just trying to scare you. Now you realize that they were telling the truth. Graduation seems ages away and all of your P's seem to be ganging up on you. You're still only taking the required courses and haven't started you're major yet and so classes can be rather tedious and boring. The theme of the year seems to be "blame it on the yucks." You think "what am I getting myself into? I have 2 more years of this still and then at least 5 more after that. Do I really want to do this? Am I happy?" Cow year you at least have started your major and are probably realizing that when the cows last year said "you're an idiot if you major in __" but you still do anyways, you should have listened to them. Firstie year finally comes and all you can think about is how many days there are untill graduation for the class of __. It's so close that you can almost taste it. Soon this will all be over and you know that what you've heard is true; the moment you through you're cover into the air at graduation really is the best momement of your life up to that point. Right now, however, you just have to keep pulling through the pain.
As I said before, that is what West Point feels like. Plebe year you're focused on avoiding the upperclassmen and surviving to yuck year. It sucks, but since you're mainly focused on the present and being prepared for the next time someone asks you a piece of knowledge it all goes by rather quickly. Then comes Yearling Year. Plebe year you thought it'd be great to be a Yuck and were sure that all of the yearlings who were saying that it sucked were just trying to scare you. Now you realize that they were telling the truth. Graduation seems ages away and all of your P's seem to be ganging up on you. You're still only taking the required courses and haven't started you're major yet and so classes can be rather tedious and boring. The theme of the year seems to be "blame it on the yucks." You think "what am I getting myself into? I have 2 more years of this still and then at least 5 more after that. Do I really want to do this? Am I happy?" Cow year you at least have started your major and are probably realizing that when the cows last year said "you're an idiot if you major in __" but you still do anyways, you should have listened to them. Firstie year finally comes and all you can think about is how many days there are untill graduation for the class of __. It's so close that you can almost taste it. Soon this will all be over and you know that what you've heard is true; the moment you through you're cover into the air at graduation really is the best momement of your life up to that point. Right now, however, you just have to keep pulling through the pain.
The general consesus is that my glasses make me look smarter. Perhaps I'll start wearing them instead of my contacts occasionally. For some really odd reason I have a lot more left eye contacts remaining than I have right eye contacts. It's not like I only wear one contact sometimes.
Today I was able to get a lot of sleep. I love daylight savings time. It makes everything so spiffy.
Okay, so I have this friend who was practically my best friend the first few years of high school. Then, stuff got wierd, we didn't talk as much, etc, but still remained good friends. Fast forward to the present. A few weeks ago I decided that I wanted to start over because I didn't want to lose him. We started talking a lot more and it's really enjoyable. It's like nothing ever happened. Well, it is a little different. We've both grown up some. What I'm scared of is that we'll get too close, or one of us will feel like we're becoming too close and it'll all blow up again.
Today I was able to get a lot of sleep. I love daylight savings time. It makes everything so spiffy.
Okay, so I have this friend who was practically my best friend the first few years of high school. Then, stuff got wierd, we didn't talk as much, etc, but still remained good friends. Fast forward to the present. A few weeks ago I decided that I wanted to start over because I didn't want to lose him. We started talking a lot more and it's really enjoyable. It's like nothing ever happened. Well, it is a little different. We've both grown up some. What I'm scared of is that we'll get too close, or one of us will feel like we're becoming too close and it'll all blow up again.
Sunday, October 27, 2002
Saturday, October 26, 2002
YAY! Annah got me a grey sweatshirt blanket for my birthday. This is awesome because now I have one for sleeping with back in the barracks and one to take on crew trips. That is, one nice one (the one Annah got for me of course), and one that I can get all dirty and dingy by carrying it all over the place.
Friday, October 25, 2002
Today was one of those days where I questioned if I'm pushing myself hard enough and felt like I'm not a good team leader, student, athlete, etc. I keep comparing myself to my friends and classmates here, which I know I shouldn't do. It's just so hard not to, especially when I'm always around them. Most of my friends are at the top of the class and seem to have straight A's in the advanced classes while I'm earning mostly B's in the regular courses. I don't spend the time on my classes that I should and that frustrates me, but yet I can't seem to find the motivation and self-disipline to put a lot of effort into the classes. I want to have straight A's, but when I make B's from doing minimal work I keep telling myself that's okay. I feel as though I'm below average.
Yesterday's dinner with Dr. Narverson went pretty well. I sat pretty close to him at the table and so was able to pay attention to what he was saying. Instead of talking about the topics of pacifisim and Just war like I thought he would, he instead focused mainly on Kant and his work The Metaphysics of Morals. There was an airforce cadet next to me who kept telling me that she was completly clueless about what he was talking about, but I found that if I actually listened closely I understood a lot of it. However, it wasn't that interesting. I don't like moral theory or any english type class for that matter. Give me logic and math any day and I'll be happy. The lecture that Dr. Naverson gave to all of the cadets in philosophy followed along exactly with the paper he wrote that we were supposed to read before hand. I'd read over it about twice because that's what I though he'd talk about at dinner, and so by the time the lecture came around I was thourghly bored, but was able to show Amaka, Rachel, and Abby how much time we had left in the lecture by pointing out exactly where he was in the paper. As James later wrote about it "it was an hour of my life wasted."
Today I finally got off my butt and started working on a solution to my being a crappy team leader. I haven't been spending the time on FCDT that I should and it's been boring, but today I came up with an idea that should make FCDT more interesting and helpfull for both Bowlby and myself. Over the next few weeks we're going to discuss OPORDER's, FRAGO's, different branches, different tactical equipment, and other such things as they relate to him planning a spirit mission and writing an OPORDER for it. Once this is done I'll get it approved and he'll carry it out.
I think I'm actually getting a little stronger with rowing. The other day I beat both Kathy and Tia and tied with Trish at 322lbs for the leg press thing on the Dyno's. With weight machines at Arvin I'm only at 360 lbs on the leg press, but hopefully if I work out there more frequently I can increase it to past 400.
This weekend I'm rowing in the B eight boat because our four accidently didn't get entered in the race. My boat is racing the A boat, two of the Canadian National team boats, plus everyone else entered in the same race. This week we've made vast improvements in our rowing ability. Our average 500m split came down to around a 1:55 and on power 10's we're getting down around 1:45. I'm happy because I'm starting to push myself a lot more out on the water. At first it sucks, but then I start to like the suck and keep pulling harder. My biggest weakness is that I rush the slide on the recovery. One thing I'm working on is completely relaxing during the recovery and then having a really fast leg movment after the catch.
Yesterday's dinner with Dr. Narverson went pretty well. I sat pretty close to him at the table and so was able to pay attention to what he was saying. Instead of talking about the topics of pacifisim and Just war like I thought he would, he instead focused mainly on Kant and his work The Metaphysics of Morals. There was an airforce cadet next to me who kept telling me that she was completly clueless about what he was talking about, but I found that if I actually listened closely I understood a lot of it. However, it wasn't that interesting. I don't like moral theory or any english type class for that matter. Give me logic and math any day and I'll be happy. The lecture that Dr. Naverson gave to all of the cadets in philosophy followed along exactly with the paper he wrote that we were supposed to read before hand. I'd read over it about twice because that's what I though he'd talk about at dinner, and so by the time the lecture came around I was thourghly bored, but was able to show Amaka, Rachel, and Abby how much time we had left in the lecture by pointing out exactly where he was in the paper. As James later wrote about it "it was an hour of my life wasted."
Today I finally got off my butt and started working on a solution to my being a crappy team leader. I haven't been spending the time on FCDT that I should and it's been boring, but today I came up with an idea that should make FCDT more interesting and helpfull for both Bowlby and myself. Over the next few weeks we're going to discuss OPORDER's, FRAGO's, different branches, different tactical equipment, and other such things as they relate to him planning a spirit mission and writing an OPORDER for it. Once this is done I'll get it approved and he'll carry it out.
I think I'm actually getting a little stronger with rowing. The other day I beat both Kathy and Tia and tied with Trish at 322lbs for the leg press thing on the Dyno's. With weight machines at Arvin I'm only at 360 lbs on the leg press, but hopefully if I work out there more frequently I can increase it to past 400.
This weekend I'm rowing in the B eight boat because our four accidently didn't get entered in the race. My boat is racing the A boat, two of the Canadian National team boats, plus everyone else entered in the same race. This week we've made vast improvements in our rowing ability. Our average 500m split came down to around a 1:55 and on power 10's we're getting down around 1:45. I'm happy because I'm starting to push myself a lot more out on the water. At first it sucks, but then I start to like the suck and keep pulling harder. My biggest weakness is that I rush the slide on the recovery. One thing I'm working on is completely relaxing during the recovery and then having a really fast leg movment after the catch.
Thursday, October 24, 2002
That was close. Last night I told Kyle that I'd take the Q for him 3rd hour today because he had a quiz he needed to take and I the last 3 hours off this morning. Walking back from physics I realized that I really needed sleep. Some things that clued me into this were the fact that during class I couldn't sit still and recently I've noticed myslef getting a little more irritable. It's like I'm a little kid again who is exhausted. Anyway, I decided to take a 30 min nap right after class and then I would have 20 min left before I had to take the Q. The nap was great, but when my alarm went off I did something I never do. I decided to go back to sleep for 10 more min and I didn't set my alarm. That is a major mistake many people here make and end up paying for on the weekends with hours. Alyson came back from class and I realized that I'd actually gone to sleep and it was now 25 min later instead of only 10. I jumped out of bed, tucked in my shirt, put on my neck tab, and raced down the hall to the CCQ desk. Amazingly, Kyle had just signed out a minute before that and then on the next line put "CDT **** assumes duty" and left the time blank. I signed in and since it was only a minute later nothing was unusual. I almost screwed him over by being asleep because if Alyson had not come back from class and I had woken up later the time difference would be very large and might have ended up in hours for both of us. I just realized I still have the key to unlock the safe that holds all of the keys. Oops.
I had a great birthday yesterday and was very glad that I didn't get a birthday party from the plebes even though the cow on CCQ was trying to get them to give me one. My parents bought me a remote control car which I actually got on Monday and so it kept me amused that night while I was on CCQ. They also bought me a Sonicare toothbrush and had balloons and a big frosted cookie thing sent to my room. The CCQ had to deliver those and that's why he was pushing for the birhtday party. The toothbrush is awesome and I've brushed my teeth almost 10 times today. Okay, maybe not that many, but it's still a lot and Amaka makes fun of me for it.
Augh! It's way too late for me to be up. I need to get to bed or else I'll be a goner in physics tomorrow.
Augh! It's way too late for me to be up. I need to get to bed or else I'll be a goner in physics tomorrow.
Tuesday, October 22, 2002
MAJ Farmer baked cupcakes for my math class today because it's my B-day. At the beginning of the year we all had to fill out a bio sheet and now whenever it's someone's birthday he bakes cupcakes. That person has to come up to the front of the class and do pushups while everyone sings happy birthday to them and then we all get to have a cupcake. It sounds a little childish, but it's a lot of fun and everybody enjoys it. They were yummy.
I never want to be even slightly intoxicated in front of my subordinates. 21 Oct was the 21st b-day of someone in my company and she came back this evening very drunk. Since I was on CCQ I saw her as she tried to walk down the hall with the support of a good friend of hers and still managed to fall down at least four times. It was very funny to watch, but she's in my chain of command and although I understand that it's basically a 21st birthday tradition for most people, for some reason I was very sad to see it. A few plebes came by the ccq desk for something and saw her trying to walk down the hall. I tried to hurry them out of there as fast as possible. What I really wanted to do was prevent them from seeing anything, but that wasn't possible. Yes, drinking is a very prevelant aspect of most college life, but I feel that when a person sees a member of their chain of command, or anybody that they have respect for, drunk and looking like and idiot they lose some respect and will to follow that person. Maybe I'm too idealistic, and perhaps I'm expecting too much, but I want someone to be able to look up their chain of command and other people they respect and be able to say that those people exemplify what right looks like 100% of the time. Yes, there is some room for forgiving and forgetting, but right now I'm not sure where that line is for me. In my eyes my military and physical, and perhaps academic standards are not high enough and that bugs me. I think I have good morals, but don't want to push them on anybody. I do not drink, but am okay with going out with friends who do drink.
Why are drinking and smoking such a big deal to me? I don't understand why I have such a strong stance against myself doing either of them. This weekend I went to my first college party at BU and found the purpose behind it rather stupid. I had fun hanging out with my friends, but what's the point of haveing a party centered around some liquid that makes people act stupid and do things they'll regret. All the secondhand smoke also gave me a headache. I see no problem with something like a glass of wine at dinner or drinking beer when watching a game, but I find it revolting when the drinking is done to such an extreme that it impairs someone, especially when they do it on purpose. Does that make me really weird? I'm scared that my friends won't invite me anywhere because I don't drink, but I have fun in my own way. Perhaps I feel so strongly about all of this because I made it a goal to not drink until I'm 21 and to never smoke. Since I'm very goal oriented and very competitive it all comes out in my trying to achieve this.
Why are drinking and smoking such a big deal to me? I don't understand why I have such a strong stance against myself doing either of them. This weekend I went to my first college party at BU and found the purpose behind it rather stupid. I had fun hanging out with my friends, but what's the point of haveing a party centered around some liquid that makes people act stupid and do things they'll regret. All the secondhand smoke also gave me a headache. I see no problem with something like a glass of wine at dinner or drinking beer when watching a game, but I find it revolting when the drinking is done to such an extreme that it impairs someone, especially when they do it on purpose. Does that make me really weird? I'm scared that my friends won't invite me anywhere because I don't drink, but I have fun in my own way. Perhaps I feel so strongly about all of this because I made it a goal to not drink until I'm 21 and to never smoke. Since I'm very goal oriented and very competitive it all comes out in my trying to achieve this.
Monday, October 21, 2002
Good news, I finished my essay. Now I have to study for my spanish writ tomorrow morning.
CCQ tomorrow. Yuck. That means I get to sit at a desk all day and do nothing instead of going to classes and stuff. When I was a plebe I thought'd it be cool. Now as a yuk I know better. Oh well. All's fair in love and war. Okay that was random, but I'm tired and prone to random comments when I'm tried.
Frank emailed me today and said he'd call tomorrow (that being today becaue it's 12:12am right now). I have to email him sometime and tell him I won't be able to talk tomorrow becaue of CCQ.
Funny stuff. Amaka sent me this. He was in my Company last year before he graduated and is now a 2nd LT. It provided a good laugh for the night.
CCQ = Cadet in Charge of Quarters. aka Company Slave for the day.
CCQ tomorrow. Yuck. That means I get to sit at a desk all day and do nothing instead of going to classes and stuff. When I was a plebe I thought'd it be cool. Now as a yuk I know better. Oh well. All's fair in love and war. Okay that was random, but I'm tired and prone to random comments when I'm tried.
Frank emailed me today and said he'd call tomorrow (that being today becaue it's 12:12am right now). I have to email him sometime and tell him I won't be able to talk tomorrow becaue of CCQ.
Funny stuff. Amaka sent me this. He was in my Company last year before he graduated and is now a 2nd LT. It provided a good laugh for the night.
CCQ = Cadet in Charge of Quarters. aka Company Slave for the day.
Right now I'm in the painfull proccess of writing an essay on whether US lawmakers should obey John Stuart Mill's Harm Principle when they make legislative policies. The stance I'm taking in the essay is that they should not obey the Harm Principle, but I'm finding it hard to come up with reasons why there should be laws against victimless crimes. In the long run most crimes aren't victimless, but how do I prove that? Maybe I'm on the totaly wrong track and should try and formulate this argument differently, but I can't seem to figure out how. I've been working on this for a few days and it's due tomorrow. I'll figure out something, but it may take a while.
This weekend was a lot of fun. We stayed at Franny's house which was really cool. Her Mom did an awesome job decorating it. The also had an indoor pool and so Tia and I went swimming in gym-A on Saturday evening. Our main source of entertainment was trying to throw balls at each other and see who could hit the other person the most. Saturday was spent hanging out around MIT and spending time in their boat house. The race went pretty well. Army came in 9th out of 36 boats, but they had a really strong head wind to row against that the teams that won didn't have, so that caused them to have a slower time.
I tried to work on homework as much as possible because this week is looks like another Thayer Week. In fact, I kind of wanted to stay back at the house Saturday and do homework, but then I realized that although that would be helpfull academically, I needed to do something else. Sad to say, but I kind of had to force myself to go out. One of my friends on the team said that she had a friend who goes to Boston U. who she was going to meet up with that night and that some of the other girls were coming along and they were all probably going to go jean shopping. I decided to go out with them and we procceded to make many wrong turns in our way into Boston. It was a fun night, but made me think a lot. At one point there was a heated argument between some of my friends and a few college guys about war and the military. Everyone was shouting out their opinion and at one point I wanted to add in, but realized it'd be pointless because nobody was really listening to the other person and they were all just yelling out what they thought. After we left we were talking about it and the main thing we were so mad about was the fact that we fight for their freedom to critisize the US and the military and that they don't appreciate it. It just comes with the life, but it's not easy to accept.
This weekend was a lot of fun. We stayed at Franny's house which was really cool. Her Mom did an awesome job decorating it. The also had an indoor pool and so Tia and I went swimming in gym-A on Saturday evening. Our main source of entertainment was trying to throw balls at each other and see who could hit the other person the most. Saturday was spent hanging out around MIT and spending time in their boat house. The race went pretty well. Army came in 9th out of 36 boats, but they had a really strong head wind to row against that the teams that won didn't have, so that caused them to have a slower time.
I tried to work on homework as much as possible because this week is looks like another Thayer Week. In fact, I kind of wanted to stay back at the house Saturday and do homework, but then I realized that although that would be helpfull academically, I needed to do something else. Sad to say, but I kind of had to force myself to go out. One of my friends on the team said that she had a friend who goes to Boston U. who she was going to meet up with that night and that some of the other girls were coming along and they were all probably going to go jean shopping. I decided to go out with them and we procceded to make many wrong turns in our way into Boston. It was a fun night, but made me think a lot. At one point there was a heated argument between some of my friends and a few college guys about war and the military. Everyone was shouting out their opinion and at one point I wanted to add in, but realized it'd be pointless because nobody was really listening to the other person and they were all just yelling out what they thought. After we left we were talking about it and the main thing we were so mad about was the fact that we fight for their freedom to critisize the US and the military and that they don't appreciate it. It just comes with the life, but it's not easy to accept.
Friday, October 18, 2002
There were still lots of stars out this morning during breakfast formation, and I'm not talking about the brass kind either. On my way to physics Reveille started playing and so I had to turn around, stand at attention, and salute the flag until it was over. It plays at 6:30am every day. It wasn't cool to hear it on my way to class because it was just one more reminder that I was still half-asleep.
Yay! PMI today for the upper three classes. For some reason the CO decided that the plebes should still be in AMI. I don't think their parents are allowed into the barracks untill tomorrow afternoon, so there's really no point in making them stay in AMI. I doubt any of them care a whole lot because their probably too excited to sleep.
Still no word on whether I can use a laptop this weekend. Das ist schlect.
Yay! PMI today for the upper three classes. For some reason the CO decided that the plebes should still be in AMI. I don't think their parents are allowed into the barracks untill tomorrow afternoon, so there's really no point in making them stay in AMI. I doubt any of them care a whole lot because their probably too excited to sleep.
Still no word on whether I can use a laptop this weekend. Das ist schlect.
I'm losing my balance. A few weeks ago at a football game I was standing on the bleachers with the rest of the corps and I almost fell off them a couple of times. That's actually how I got to know James. He kept looking at me and laughing when I would lose my balance. Today on the way to spanish I was walking with Amaka and I tripped while going up the stairs. Then, later when I walking down the stairs on my way to calc and I was once again talking to Amaka and James, Jason, and Amber (first sgt) were walking in front of us and I was half talking to James at the same time. Somehow I managed to trip and fell face forward down the stairs. Although I was okay and laughing, my loud "Holy Crap" as I fell alerted everyone around me to look at me and I was rather embarrased. The worst part was that I had just put on one of the pairs of shoes that I shined last night, and the fall totally ruined all of my work. I had to go to class and lunch formation looking very ate up because I didn't have time to change them.
Tomorrow Plebe Parent Weekend begins and so there's a compressed class schedule. Breakfast formation is at 5:50am and then my first class, physics, starts at 6:40 and goes untill 7:30. There's a phase-line writ tomorrow and I'm afraid I won't do very well on it. I also have a calc quiz tomorrow which I need to study for. Since I have formation for the trip to Boston at 12:45 I asked CPT Morgan if I could attend an early econ class tomorrow. He said that I could come in E-hour instead of my normal F-hour. That makes my last class end at 11:30 instead of 12:30 which is nice because I'll need that extra time to pack and hopefully pick up the laptop I requested for the trip. I have a philosophy paper and an econ excel tutorial to work on while I'm gone.
It's kinda nice to be going on a crew trip and not haveing to race, but I also wish that I rowed in the A-boat instead of the four. I still love rowing the quad, but I'm jealous of the A-boat. They are doing really well and are obviously MAJ Hall's favorite. The A-boat is the only boat racing this weekend. I'm going to support them, and because I didn't want to use my last pass up. For some stupid reason they decided to my PPW a chargeable pass for the upperclassmen. That means that there will be more upperclassmen hanging around because they didn't want to use a pass up this weekend. Last year there were two or three upperclassmen in my company who didn't leave for one reason or another. Even though they weren't allowed to talk to us or anything I still felt uncomfertable with them around and felt like it detracted from the whole plebe freedom of the weekend. What's up with the uniform being As For Class tomorrow instead of BDU's? It's a Friday before a football game plus I remember wearing BDU's last year on this day. The Corps has...
Tomorrow Plebe Parent Weekend begins and so there's a compressed class schedule. Breakfast formation is at 5:50am and then my first class, physics, starts at 6:40 and goes untill 7:30. There's a phase-line writ tomorrow and I'm afraid I won't do very well on it. I also have a calc quiz tomorrow which I need to study for. Since I have formation for the trip to Boston at 12:45 I asked CPT Morgan if I could attend an early econ class tomorrow. He said that I could come in E-hour instead of my normal F-hour. That makes my last class end at 11:30 instead of 12:30 which is nice because I'll need that extra time to pack and hopefully pick up the laptop I requested for the trip. I have a philosophy paper and an econ excel tutorial to work on while I'm gone.
It's kinda nice to be going on a crew trip and not haveing to race, but I also wish that I rowed in the A-boat instead of the four. I still love rowing the quad, but I'm jealous of the A-boat. They are doing really well and are obviously MAJ Hall's favorite. The A-boat is the only boat racing this weekend. I'm going to support them, and because I didn't want to use my last pass up. For some stupid reason they decided to my PPW a chargeable pass for the upperclassmen. That means that there will be more upperclassmen hanging around because they didn't want to use a pass up this weekend. Last year there were two or three upperclassmen in my company who didn't leave for one reason or another. Even though they weren't allowed to talk to us or anything I still felt uncomfertable with them around and felt like it detracted from the whole plebe freedom of the weekend. What's up with the uniform being As For Class tomorrow instead of BDU's? It's a Friday before a football game plus I remember wearing BDU's last year on this day. The Corps has...
That just made my day! This was turning into a rather crappy night because I had to do laundry and I didn't have enough quarters, the change machine was out of money, the elevator was acting up and taking forever (at night I'm too lazy to climb up and down 6 flights of stairs every 20 min and I go up and down them 10 million times during the day), and then when I got back to the laundry room I found someone had just taken my washer the minute before I got there and so I had to wait for another one to free up, plus the candy machine ate my money. Anyway, I got back to my room and was watching tv / doing homework (okay, so it's not really possible for me to do both at the same time, but I tell myself that I can) when I recieved an email. I was almost about to delete it thinking it was spam, but opened it first and found a gift certificate to Amazon.com from S. Woods as a birthday gift. It was totally unexpected and very cool. Today I was just thinking about how I've read just about all of the books I have here and need some new ones. Thank you!
Now I have to get back to my laundry. Back down to the basement I go.
Now I have to get back to my laundry. Back down to the basement I go.
Thursday, October 17, 2002
Good news, we didn't have to go out on the water today because the weather was horrid, the current was really fast, and there were white caps. Instead, we rowed in the tanks for 30 min and then had to pull a 6k on the erg. Coach Hall said that we didn't have to row it very hard or try to get our best time and so I was planning to take at easy. That didn't last long for me. Actually, I was more focused on correcting my technique and so I had flipped down the timer thing, but then when I looked at it I realized I was doing pretty well and so I tried even harder to do better and ended up getting my best time. It was only a 25:58.9 min, but it was I think at least 10 seconds better than my last one and my goal had been to break 26 min. Now if I could only break 8 min on the 2k. I pulled one yesterday before practice and my time was back up to a 8:03.6 min.
I got my math wpr back today. Yesterday I found out I got an 85.33% on it, which was above the 72% course average and 80% section average, but I know I could've done better. When I got it back I looked at one of the problems that I had blanked on during the test and did it in about 2 sec. Augh! It's very annoying knowing that if I had just set the y-portion of the velocity vector equal to zero and then solved for time and the substitued the time into the x-portion of the position vector I could've solved it correctly and gotten an A- on the wpr instead of a B.
Tonight I called Frank and was going to shine my shoes while talking on the phone, but he wasn't home. My shoes needed shining and so I decided to listen to some Adventures in Odyssey. In middle school I used to borrow the tapes from Amy and loved listening to them, but haven't listened to the show in years. It was interesting hearing it again, but I enjoyed it a lot more when I was younger. I do have two pairs of really shiny low quarters now :)
I got my math wpr back today. Yesterday I found out I got an 85.33% on it, which was above the 72% course average and 80% section average, but I know I could've done better. When I got it back I looked at one of the problems that I had blanked on during the test and did it in about 2 sec. Augh! It's very annoying knowing that if I had just set the y-portion of the velocity vector equal to zero and then solved for time and the substitued the time into the x-portion of the position vector I could've solved it correctly and gotten an A- on the wpr instead of a B.
Tonight I called Frank and was going to shine my shoes while talking on the phone, but he wasn't home. My shoes needed shining and so I decided to listen to some Adventures in Odyssey. In middle school I used to borrow the tapes from Amy and loved listening to them, but haven't listened to the show in years. It was interesting hearing it again, but I enjoyed it a lot more when I was younger. I do have two pairs of really shiny low quarters now :)
Wednesday, October 16, 2002
Yet another cold, grey, rainy day here, and the real grey period hasn't even started yet. The grey period lasts from Christmas to spring break. Grey sky, river, buildings, uniforms, snow,etc...everything is grey, including the mood. I guess this is a mini grey period that lasts until Thanksgiving. Of course, the plebes have Plebe Parent Weekend to look forward to in a few days. After Thanksgiving it'll be awesome. The week we come back is Army-Navy week which is the best week here practically (well, besides TEE week, which is fun in a whole different way). There are drop zones, BDU's all week, beating up the midshipman (hehehe, there's one in my company this year), and then the game on Saturday. The week after that is the last week of classes, which will probably be full of projects and papers, but at least the end is near. After that week is TEE week. My first TEE is on Saturday, and then I have one TEE in the afternoon on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday I have my last TEE in the morning. TEE week is cool because nobody cares about anything military. Rooms are a mess, you can sleep half the day if you want to because the only required things are breakfast formation and taking your TEE, and then at night everybody hangs out there windows yelling and throwing the occasional textbook, printer, or other such things out while watching whatever stunts are going on in the area. It's a fun time, all except for the part where you have to take a three hour term end exam. Of course, there's a nasty rumor going around the the Comm is madating that nobody can leave untill the next day after their last TEE, and it looks like it's true. The Corps is in a uproar about it. Anyway, if I can last untill Thanksgiving everything will be okay. Luckily I have Boston this weekend, my birthday next week, a regatta for the next two weekends after that, Airforce week, and Veterans Day weekend to help me pass the time. I've been staring at my calander a lot in class thinking about all of this stuff over and over again.
Tuesday, October 15, 2002
My philosophy professor nominated two other students and myself from his sections for a chance to attend a dinner with Dr. Jan Narveson---a famous ethicist who has written much on just war theory. Later that evening he'll be giving a lecture to all of the PY201 students. Dr. Tramel said that he selected us based on our writing and/or discussion performance. I have no idea why he nomitated me. I hardley speak at all in class, and on the in class essay I recieved a B++ (no, I don't understand what the extra '+' is for). Kinda odd.
That was a vey whiny post. Time to look on the bright side. Some people are not as lucky as me. I have an awesome family, great friends, and go to a really good school. My tiny complaints don't compare to what a lot of people have to deal with everyday. Now time for homework and possibly email Frank. Back to work.
My birthday is a week from tomorrow. When I was little I got really excited about my birthday and celebrating it with my family. Now I don't know if I will ever have a real birthday celebration with my family again. Junior year I was in Washington DC for the National Youth Leadership Forum on my Birthday. Last year PPW was the weekend before my birthday so I at least got to see my Parents and Heidi the day before, but my actual birthday was spent with me eating the brownies with my roomies. This year won't be any better. I miss having a birthday dinner with my family. I'm trying to keep my Birthday quiet so that the plebes don't throw me a birthday party. That is when they drag you out of your room, tie you up and and pour things such as jelly, ketchup, peanut butter, A1 sauce, and hot sauce all over you. It must really suck to be on the recieving end. What'd be cool though is a cake or decorated cookie and balloons from Love a Cadet. Hmm, perhaps I'll hint to my parents about it.
Anyway, I'm thinking about my b-day because recently I was thinking about what I really wanted for my b-day, kinda like I did when I was a kid. What I asked my parents for is a Sonicare tooth brush. I asked for one because it would help my teeth a lot and it's too expensive for me to buy on my own. I want one, but a part of me kinda wishs that I could get a remote control car instead. It'd be really fun to drive up and down the halls and harrass some of my classmates, and perhaps chase a few plebes down the hall. I didn't ask for one because it's not what I need, it's only a cool expensive toy. The toothbrush makes a lot more sense. My dream list of things also includes the dvd Monsters Inc. I haven't seen it, but I've heard from a lot of people that it's really funny. Oh well, I need clean teeth much more than I need a remote control car so that is what I'm asking for. Maybe for Christmas or something I'll ask for the car and the movie, but by then I'll probably have thought of some other stuff that I need.
I miss celebrating holidays with my family. At least I got to see my Mom on her birthday and give her a card. I missed Easter with my sisters, my Dad's 50th Birthday, Betsy's 21st b-day, Heidi's 23 b-day, and the 4th of July. At least I get to be with them on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Anyway, I'm thinking about my b-day because recently I was thinking about what I really wanted for my b-day, kinda like I did when I was a kid. What I asked my parents for is a Sonicare tooth brush. I asked for one because it would help my teeth a lot and it's too expensive for me to buy on my own. I want one, but a part of me kinda wishs that I could get a remote control car instead. It'd be really fun to drive up and down the halls and harrass some of my classmates, and perhaps chase a few plebes down the hall. I didn't ask for one because it's not what I need, it's only a cool expensive toy. The toothbrush makes a lot more sense. My dream list of things also includes the dvd Monsters Inc. I haven't seen it, but I've heard from a lot of people that it's really funny. Oh well, I need clean teeth much more than I need a remote control car so that is what I'm asking for. Maybe for Christmas or something I'll ask for the car and the movie, but by then I'll probably have thought of some other stuff that I need.
I miss celebrating holidays with my family. At least I got to see my Mom on her birthday and give her a card. I missed Easter with my sisters, my Dad's 50th Birthday, Betsy's 21st b-day, Heidi's 23 b-day, and the 4th of July. At least I get to be with them on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Right now I want to go for a walk around West Point with a friend. Perhaps go to Trophy Point and admire the view. One problem. No friend to go with. Sure, I could go by myself, but that isn't as fun. I like going on walks and talking with a friend discussing anything and everything or nothing. It's peaceful.
This morning I woke up around 10, read The Long Gray Line for about an hour and then got up and took a shower. Jaz and I went to lunch at 11:45 and then I came back and started watching a dvd while pretending to do homework. Midway through the dvd I realized that I wasn't paying attention to it and that I wan't getting any work done either and so I went back to bed. I got up around 5 and then watched some tv and tried to do some more homework. Leah and I went to dinner at 6:15 and now I am back here sitting at my computer. A day basically wasted.
Last night Bryon and this guy in my philosophy class stopped by to see Tara because they all went to the prep school last year. Bryon was in my swimming class last year and we became friends. Then, at Buckner stuff got weird between us. At first it was like we both liked each other and we hung out a lot, and then midway through Buckner we both started ignoring each other. Anyway, he walked into the room last night and there was the kinda weird pause with both of us and then we said "hi" and again proceeded to ignore each other. I saw both of them again at dinner because they were a few tables over. His friend noticed me and motioned hi. Later I walked past their table because Molly and Ann were sitting at the table right next to them and when I passed Bryon said hi to me. Does this story have a point. No. Am I telling it for any reason. No. It's just a random event in my life, and not a very big one at that.
This morning I woke up around 10, read The Long Gray Line for about an hour and then got up and took a shower. Jaz and I went to lunch at 11:45 and then I came back and started watching a dvd while pretending to do homework. Midway through the dvd I realized that I wasn't paying attention to it and that I wan't getting any work done either and so I went back to bed. I got up around 5 and then watched some tv and tried to do some more homework. Leah and I went to dinner at 6:15 and now I am back here sitting at my computer. A day basically wasted.
Last night Bryon and this guy in my philosophy class stopped by to see Tara because they all went to the prep school last year. Bryon was in my swimming class last year and we became friends. Then, at Buckner stuff got weird between us. At first it was like we both liked each other and we hung out a lot, and then midway through Buckner we both started ignoring each other. Anyway, he walked into the room last night and there was the kinda weird pause with both of us and then we said "hi" and again proceeded to ignore each other. I saw both of them again at dinner because they were a few tables over. His friend noticed me and motioned hi. Later I walked past their table because Molly and Ann were sitting at the table right next to them and when I passed Bryon said hi to me. Does this story have a point. No. Am I telling it for any reason. No. It's just a random event in my life, and not a very big one at that.
Monday, October 14, 2002
Amaka stopped by around midnight to say hi and while we were talking I heard a bunch of noise outside in the hallway. We went to go see what was going on and found four of the guys in my company trying to duck tape a laundry cart to my door. It was pretty funny and broke up the boredom. When I asked them about it a few minutes later they claimed to know nothing about the whole thing.
Tomorrow/ this morning I can sleep in for as long as I want. I don't remember the last time I was able to do that, or know when the next time I will be able to do that. Knowing how I function I probably won't be able to sleep in very late. When I have to get up at a certain time, no matter how late, I always want to sleep later, but when I don't have to get up I always end up waking up earlier and am not able to sleep any more. Oh well, it's the thought that counts.
I need to start spending more time developing Bowlby. I'm definatly slacking militarly right now. Last year at this time I was all hooah about being squared away and even had a board for a PPW position because I was doing so well. This year feels like the exact opposite; like I'm trying to cut corners and do the bare minimum. Crap, uniform switch goes Tuesday. I need to get out my long sleeve AFC and get it ready.
Tomorrow / today I need to spend doing homework. I have a spanish lab Tuesday, and econ problem set due Wednesday, a econ lab and calc quiz onThursday, and a phaseline writ in physics on Friday. At least Friday is a compressed scheduale with classes starting at 6:30am and ending at 11:30am for PPW. Then I'm off to Boston.
Time to read and sleep. Yay! sleep. Sleep is good. I like sleep. I have a few friends who should also get some sleep. Go to Bed!
Tomorrow/ this morning I can sleep in for as long as I want. I don't remember the last time I was able to do that, or know when the next time I will be able to do that. Knowing how I function I probably won't be able to sleep in very late. When I have to get up at a certain time, no matter how late, I always want to sleep later, but when I don't have to get up I always end up waking up earlier and am not able to sleep any more. Oh well, it's the thought that counts.
I need to start spending more time developing Bowlby. I'm definatly slacking militarly right now. Last year at this time I was all hooah about being squared away and even had a board for a PPW position because I was doing so well. This year feels like the exact opposite; like I'm trying to cut corners and do the bare minimum. Crap, uniform switch goes Tuesday. I need to get out my long sleeve AFC and get it ready.
Tomorrow / today I need to spend doing homework. I have a spanish lab Tuesday, and econ problem set due Wednesday, a econ lab and calc quiz onThursday, and a phaseline writ in physics on Friday. At least Friday is a compressed scheduale with classes starting at 6:30am and ending at 11:30am for PPW. Then I'm off to Boston.
Time to read and sleep. Yay! sleep. Sleep is good. I like sleep. I have a few friends who should also get some sleep. Go to Bed!
My brain is fried. Today I went to Church, came back, watched 1.5 dvd's, slept for about and hour, watched more tv, talked to Matt, and then watched another dvd while doing my econ problem set. I've watched way too much tv today.
Right now I kinda wish that I liked a guy or that a guy liked me. Life goes a lot smoother when that's not the case, but just talking to a few of my friends recently has made me miss the excitement and everything. Mr. Right will come around eventually, but that just seems so far away. Maybe I already know him, maybe not. Who knows. Enough about guys.
Right now I kinda wish that I liked a guy or that a guy liked me. Life goes a lot smoother when that's not the case, but just talking to a few of my friends recently has made me miss the excitement and everything. Mr. Right will come around eventually, but that just seems so far away. Maybe I already know him, maybe not. Who knows. Enough about guys.
Sunday, October 13, 2002
I really want to live in Texas. Okay, so I've never been there, but some of my friends from Texas that go here have just about convinced me of what a great state it is. There is just something about them. I think it'd be cool to at least visit Texas sometime. I also dream of living in Washington DC, Philadelphia, and Michigan. Just a few things in my dreams of the future.
See, I dream of doing the whole career thing in Washington DC or Philly, and then raising a family in Texas or Michigan. There of course is my military career somewhere in there. Basically, I have no clue about my future. Luckily I don't have to worry about that because everything will work out in time and probably be nothing like I imagine it. Funny how that works.
YAY! No school Monday. This rocks. I have Sunday and Monday to totally relax and sleep. The only things on my scheduale are Church and sleep. Perhaps a little homework in there.
The Navy Day regatta was fun today. My boat finished in the top three quarters of our race and the varsity women's eight A boat came in 2nd in their race. I'm not sure how the other varsity boat did. I called home twice today and talked to Heidi, Mom, and Dad. I called Betsy a couple times, but as usual she wasn't there so I left a message. Later I called Matt, but he wasn't home either. When his mom answered the phone my cell phone faded out on my end and so I guess we both ended up talking at the same time. Oops. I called Frank, but he was eating dinner and so he called me back a while later and we had a nice conversation. We've started talking regularly again which is cool.
8 Seconds really is a great cowboy movie. I may even watch it again tomorrow.
It's been a long day. Time for bed.
See, I dream of doing the whole career thing in Washington DC or Philly, and then raising a family in Texas or Michigan. There of course is my military career somewhere in there. Basically, I have no clue about my future. Luckily I don't have to worry about that because everything will work out in time and probably be nothing like I imagine it. Funny how that works.
YAY! No school Monday. This rocks. I have Sunday and Monday to totally relax and sleep. The only things on my scheduale are Church and sleep. Perhaps a little homework in there.
The Navy Day regatta was fun today. My boat finished in the top three quarters of our race and the varsity women's eight A boat came in 2nd in their race. I'm not sure how the other varsity boat did. I called home twice today and talked to Heidi, Mom, and Dad. I called Betsy a couple times, but as usual she wasn't there so I left a message. Later I called Matt, but he wasn't home either. When his mom answered the phone my cell phone faded out on my end and so I guess we both ended up talking at the same time. Oops. I called Frank, but he was eating dinner and so he called me back a while later and we had a nice conversation. We've started talking regularly again which is cool.
8 Seconds really is a great cowboy movie. I may even watch it again tomorrow.
It's been a long day. Time for bed.
Friday, October 11, 2002
AUGH! My computer is stupid. I don't have enough free memory in my C drive and I don't know what to do. For the past hour I've been looking through it for files that I can either get rid of or move to my D drive, but now I can't seem to find anymore and I still don't have enough memory. Das ist poopy.
Rain rain go away. Come again...never mind. stay.
I went to the health clinic today only to find out that it's closed. I guess they wanted to give the people there a holiday. Bowlby got punched in the nose yesterday during boxing and they told him to go to sick call this morning to get his nose looked at and possibly x-rayed.
To many old grad's running around. Because of them we're in As for Class today instead of BDU's. This morning I was lying in bed after my alarm went off and thinking how great it was because we're in BDU's and that just makes life a little easier. Then, I saw Alyson getting ready and she had on AFC and told me they had changed the uniform. Now if I go outside I'll smell like wet dog because of my wool pants. Stupid old grads. And what's up with us having to salute them even though their not in uniform and probably not even in the military anymore. Just cuz 1,000,000 years ago they graduated from this place and are here for a visit to tell us how much the "Corps Has".
Yes, I am being bitter right now. I think I'll stop now.
Happy thought: I have a cowboy hat.
Rain rain go away. Come again...never mind. stay.
I went to the health clinic today only to find out that it's closed. I guess they wanted to give the people there a holiday. Bowlby got punched in the nose yesterday during boxing and they told him to go to sick call this morning to get his nose looked at and possibly x-rayed.
To many old grad's running around. Because of them we're in As for Class today instead of BDU's. This morning I was lying in bed after my alarm went off and thinking how great it was because we're in BDU's and that just makes life a little easier. Then, I saw Alyson getting ready and she had on AFC and told me they had changed the uniform. Now if I go outside I'll smell like wet dog because of my wool pants. Stupid old grads. And what's up with us having to salute them even though their not in uniform and probably not even in the military anymore. Just cuz 1,000,000 years ago they graduated from this place and are here for a visit to tell us how much the "Corps Has".
Yes, I am being bitter right now. I think I'll stop now.
Happy thought: I have a cowboy hat.
The motivation to study has decreased even further. I'm so glad tomorrow is friday. I'm thinking about going to sick call tomorrow mornign to have my neck checked out, but I don't know if it's worth it since it'd probably nothing and would be a waste of time. This weekend I have a race on Saturday and then have Sunday and Monday off. That is so cool. My plan is to sleep, watch some dvd's, sleep, hang out with friends, sleep, relax, sleep... Perhaps I'll get around to watching the movie 8 Seconds. James says that it's the best cowboy movie ever and that I have to see it. I want to see if I agree.
The theme for dinner tonight was Homecoming and so Alyson and I both dressed up. I wore the dress I wore to prom senior year. It was nice to get all dressed up again and everything, but once I stepped out into the hall and had to face everbody else in the company I became really self concious and shy. It probably seems like I'm snobbish or don't want to talk to the people in my company, but it's really that I'm shy and when I am out of my comfert zone I become very quiet.
Yesterday Berry was attacked by a dog while my mom took her for a walk. She was rushed to the vet and it's really scary how close she was to dying. I don't even want to think about it because I'm not sure I can handle it. She's doing a little better now, but is all bandaged up and does not have a lot of energy. My poor dog. I'm so glad that she survived. I wish that I could go home and see her.
The theme for dinner tonight was Homecoming and so Alyson and I both dressed up. I wore the dress I wore to prom senior year. It was nice to get all dressed up again and everything, but once I stepped out into the hall and had to face everbody else in the company I became really self concious and shy. It probably seems like I'm snobbish or don't want to talk to the people in my company, but it's really that I'm shy and when I am out of my comfert zone I become very quiet.
Yesterday Berry was attacked by a dog while my mom took her for a walk. She was rushed to the vet and it's really scary how close she was to dying. I don't even want to think about it because I'm not sure I can handle it. She's doing a little better now, but is all bandaged up and does not have a lot of energy. My poor dog. I'm so glad that she survived. I wish that I could go home and see her.
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
This afternoon before practice I was outside on the observation deck of the boathouse with my shoes and socks off doing stretches I learned yesterday. I was lying down with my eyes closed and slowly getitng up when I heard the door open and someone come outside. I turned around and saw the Sup and his entourage being escorted by Coach Hall. Needless to say, I was suprised and got to my feet and saluted and then stood at attention while he came over and looked at the view. It's not everyday that I have a three star general asking me questions while I stand there with no shoes and socks on and try my best to look good. It was rather embarrasing.
For practice today we rowed to north to an island that you can hardly see from West Point because it's so far away. The row down wasn't too bad, but by the time we reached the island we were all realy tired, cold, and soaking wet. On the island is an awesome mansion that is really overgrown and cool looking. It reminded me of the place the lady lived in in the book Great Expectations. The interior was made with wood from ships in the Spanish American war. Unfortunatly the wood had a lot of gun powder in it and ended up blowing up and destroying the interior of the mansion. The outside walls still remain and have a ghostly effect. Coach wanted us to row around the island, but it was getting dark, we were tired, and we still had another 45 min of rowing back so he decided we didn't have to row around it and could just turn around at the side of it.
The way back I got really cold and was really scared of tipping over. I've never gotten scared before, but today I got really nervous and had to keep telling myself to relax and trust my teammates. In order to take my mind off of the things that were bugging me I started to sing some praise songs in my head. Soon my mind was off the cold and the fear I was I concentrating on praising God. It made the row back a lot faster for me and I wasn't very cold anymore. We got back and I was soaking wet and the temp was probably in the 60's. I took a nice hot shower and Coach Hall ordered pizza's for the team. I guess practice was pretty good today.
For practice today we rowed to north to an island that you can hardly see from West Point because it's so far away. The row down wasn't too bad, but by the time we reached the island we were all realy tired, cold, and soaking wet. On the island is an awesome mansion that is really overgrown and cool looking. It reminded me of the place the lady lived in in the book Great Expectations. The interior was made with wood from ships in the Spanish American war. Unfortunatly the wood had a lot of gun powder in it and ended up blowing up and destroying the interior of the mansion. The outside walls still remain and have a ghostly effect. Coach wanted us to row around the island, but it was getting dark, we were tired, and we still had another 45 min of rowing back so he decided we didn't have to row around it and could just turn around at the side of it.
The way back I got really cold and was really scared of tipping over. I've never gotten scared before, but today I got really nervous and had to keep telling myself to relax and trust my teammates. In order to take my mind off of the things that were bugging me I started to sing some praise songs in my head. Soon my mind was off the cold and the fear I was I concentrating on praising God. It made the row back a lot faster for me and I wasn't very cold anymore. We got back and I was soaking wet and the temp was probably in the 60's. I took a nice hot shower and Coach Hall ordered pizza's for the team. I guess practice was pretty good today.
Monday, October 07, 2002
I think I just scared my mom. This afternoon I found a lump on my neck which I am assuming is a swollen lymoh node. Normally this wouldn't bother me at all because I feel fine and I bet it'll be gone tomorrow or something, but there is that family history in there. Anyway, I had both Alyson and Amaka check it out and they both asked if I had a swollen lymph node so I called home to see what my mom had to say about them. My guess, as well as hers, is that it's something minor and that I should just check it every 4 or 5 days. Right now it feel about the size of a pea, maybe a little bigger. I guess I'll see how it's doing in a few days.
I am so happy right now. I just talked to Steph on IM and she told me that she's started going to Holy Trinity and that she had a long talk with Mark G. and is becoming friends with SR. Sarah (formerly Ms. Burdick). That just made my day. I am so so so happy for her. She wants to join the Air Force and I think it would be a really good opportunity for her adn that she'd really enjoy it. I hope everything works out. YAY! Kate = happy.
Today was the first regatta of the season. Army had three boats come in first. Mine finished 10th out of 25. It was a really good race, we just need to work on our slide controll. I love the spring season a ton, but I don't get half as nervous in the fall as I do in the spring at the beginning of a race. In the spring I feel like puking and have tons of butterflies in my stomach where as in the fall I'm much more relaxed and focused on the long hard row ahead. They are very different types of races.
On the trip back I called home again and talked to my parents and caught up with them. Later on I called Frank and we talked for a while. The two times I've called him recently have probably been the most inoppertune times. Once he was watching a movie with his family and then tonight he was about to eat dessert with them. He doesn't tell me these things untill we've talked for about 20 min and then I feel bad for interrupting. Next time I'll have to start off the converstation by asking him if I'm interrupting something. I guess that's what I should do all the time because it's polite. Me and my bad manners.
This weekend I was in Massachusetts, next weekend I head to Philly, and then the weekend after that I'm going to Boston. Fun stuff. Leah invited me to NYC next weekend after the race because our race is only a one day event on Saturday and we have Sunday and Monday off for Columbus Day. I said that I wanted to go, but now that I think about it I don't think I should because it would cost a lot of money and I need to start saving more. If only money grew on trees.
Today was the first regatta of the season. Army had three boats come in first. Mine finished 10th out of 25. It was a really good race, we just need to work on our slide controll. I love the spring season a ton, but I don't get half as nervous in the fall as I do in the spring at the beginning of a race. In the spring I feel like puking and have tons of butterflies in my stomach where as in the fall I'm much more relaxed and focused on the long hard row ahead. They are very different types of races.
On the trip back I called home again and talked to my parents and caught up with them. Later on I called Frank and we talked for a while. The two times I've called him recently have probably been the most inoppertune times. Once he was watching a movie with his family and then tonight he was about to eat dessert with them. He doesn't tell me these things untill we've talked for about 20 min and then I feel bad for interrupting. Next time I'll have to start off the converstation by asking him if I'm interrupting something. I guess that's what I should do all the time because it's polite. Me and my bad manners.
This weekend I was in Massachusetts, next weekend I head to Philly, and then the weekend after that I'm going to Boston. Fun stuff. Leah invited me to NYC next weekend after the race because our race is only a one day event on Saturday and we have Sunday and Monday off for Columbus Day. I said that I wanted to go, but now that I think about it I don't think I should because it would cost a lot of money and I need to start saving more. If only money grew on trees.
Friday, October 04, 2002
How did I get here? Where am I going? Who am I?
age: 18 almost 19
gender: female
where I'm from: That one State
schools: preschool, safety town, elementry school, middle school, high school, West Point
likes: chocolate, sleep, hanging out with friends, going home, guys, my teddy bear, my family, Berry, relaxing, math, computers, getting out of here often, not being a plebe, interesting military and government stuff, order, West Point, Church, Christmas, birthdays, holidays, crew, pizza, civilian clothes, happy memories, acheiving goals, my cowboy hat, sunsets, going on walks and talking with a friend, creed, fall, jumping in piles of leaves, feeling like i'm a part of something, hot chocolate, frozen custard,
dislikes: parades/drill, SAMI, WPR's, TACs, Regimental/ Brigade runs, being brainwashed, APFT's, no sleep, lots of stress, getting in trouble, being introverted, white chocolate, chocolate icecream, being a new cadet/plebe, lots of homework, feeling alone, haveing to go back to school after a break, santana, 2k's, running, tools, slackers, complaining a lot, smooth jazz, infantry, long boring breifings, abortion, broccoli, english papers, spending a long time at a range,
Goals: graduate from West Point, work for the NSA or something, be happy with my life, marry a man I love and who loves me, tab the APFT, at some point in my life never have to take another PT test, never smoke, not drink untill I'm 21, wait until marrige,
Important things: Jesus, family, friends, country, school, sleep,
favorite quote: "All your base are belong to us" j/k :)
I'm still in the process of figureing out who I am.
age: 18 almost 19
gender: female
where I'm from: That one State
schools: preschool, safety town, elementry school, middle school, high school, West Point
likes: chocolate, sleep, hanging out with friends, going home, guys, my teddy bear, my family, Berry, relaxing, math, computers, getting out of here often, not being a plebe, interesting military and government stuff, order, West Point, Church, Christmas, birthdays, holidays, crew, pizza, civilian clothes, happy memories, acheiving goals, my cowboy hat, sunsets, going on walks and talking with a friend, creed, fall, jumping in piles of leaves, feeling like i'm a part of something, hot chocolate, frozen custard,
dislikes: parades/drill, SAMI, WPR's, TACs, Regimental/ Brigade runs, being brainwashed, APFT's, no sleep, lots of stress, getting in trouble, being introverted, white chocolate, chocolate icecream, being a new cadet/plebe, lots of homework, feeling alone, haveing to go back to school after a break, santana, 2k's, running, tools, slackers, complaining a lot, smooth jazz, infantry, long boring breifings, abortion, broccoli, english papers, spending a long time at a range,
Goals: graduate from West Point, work for the NSA or something, be happy with my life, marry a man I love and who loves me, tab the APFT, at some point in my life never have to take another PT test, never smoke, not drink untill I'm 21, wait until marrige,
Important things: Jesus, family, friends, country, school, sleep,
favorite quote: "All your base are belong to us" j/k :)
I'm still in the process of figureing out who I am.
Thursday, October 03, 2002
Happy Birthday Matt! You are old.
Today I forgot my calculator and binder in philosophy class right before lunch. I realized that after lunch around around 1:30. After practice I went back to the classroom and got a janitor I know to unlock the room for me. Just as I expected my stuff was still there. My binder was on a desk with another binder and my claculator was in my pencil bag displayed in the front of the classroom where it was very visible so that I could find it. That's one of the things I love about this place and it's one of the reasons I came here. Somebody could have very easily run off with my calculator, but it was still there six hours later when I finally got around to getting it.
79 days untill Christmas leave :) For spring break the womens crew team is going to Virginia Beach again. I had an awesome time last year and would not have any problem at all with going back, except for the fact that spring break is two weeks earlier this year and there's a good chance that it'll be really cold. My Mom asked if it'd be okay if her and dad came up again and I said I thought that'd be okay.
My senior year of high school and then a little last year I had a hard time spending a lot of time and talking with my parents. Senior year I was nervous about coming here and everytime I talked to them I was reminded of just how soon and how different everything would be. I just wanted to forget everything and go have fun with my friends and not think about how my whole life was about to change in a short while. Then, I got here and survived the pressures of the first summer and was really happy to see my parents again on acceptance day, but in the back of my mind there was still the constant dread of having to go back and face all the upperclassmen in a few hours. Plus, my parents, rightfully so, had tons of questions and I was frustrated at either not knowing the answers to them or having to answer them over and over again. It still bothers when they ask a question and I don't know the answer because this place has brainwashed me into thinking that I always need to know the answer and so if I can't answer a question I feel like I'm failing in some way. It's stupid. My parents, Heidi, and Matt came up for Plebe Parent weekend. I had an awesome time that weekend, but it was also really hard because I was struggling a lot with my attitude towards my parents. They would talk to other people and tell them about how they have a daughter at West Point because they are proud of me, but at that point I took it as them using me to elavate themselves and I wasn't sure that they would still be proud of me and treat me the same if something happend and I decided to leave West Point. Matt was awesome that weekend and we talked a lot and he helped me a ton. Looking back on it I realize that I was taking everything that my parents were doing and saying the wrong way and I think that Matt realized that and was trying to show me that, but I was so full of millions of emotions and didn't understand it. There was just so much going on on every level that weekend with me. I'm still sorting it out. I must say that I can't ask for a better friend/brother than Matt. I am sorry, however, that I didn't get to spend a lot of time with Heidi. Over the past year my relationship with my parents has steadily improved. Once again I really like spending time with my parents and talking to them about what's going on in my life. I wish I could spend more time with them. Perhaps it's odd for a teenager, but I wanted to spend every moment with them when they were up here two weekends ago. I choose going out with my parents over going out with my friends. I can go out with my friends another time, but I only see my parents every few months. I love my family a ton.
Today I forgot my calculator and binder in philosophy class right before lunch. I realized that after lunch around around 1:30. After practice I went back to the classroom and got a janitor I know to unlock the room for me. Just as I expected my stuff was still there. My binder was on a desk with another binder and my claculator was in my pencil bag displayed in the front of the classroom where it was very visible so that I could find it. That's one of the things I love about this place and it's one of the reasons I came here. Somebody could have very easily run off with my calculator, but it was still there six hours later when I finally got around to getting it.
79 days untill Christmas leave :) For spring break the womens crew team is going to Virginia Beach again. I had an awesome time last year and would not have any problem at all with going back, except for the fact that spring break is two weeks earlier this year and there's a good chance that it'll be really cold. My Mom asked if it'd be okay if her and dad came up again and I said I thought that'd be okay.
My senior year of high school and then a little last year I had a hard time spending a lot of time and talking with my parents. Senior year I was nervous about coming here and everytime I talked to them I was reminded of just how soon and how different everything would be. I just wanted to forget everything and go have fun with my friends and not think about how my whole life was about to change in a short while. Then, I got here and survived the pressures of the first summer and was really happy to see my parents again on acceptance day, but in the back of my mind there was still the constant dread of having to go back and face all the upperclassmen in a few hours. Plus, my parents, rightfully so, had tons of questions and I was frustrated at either not knowing the answers to them or having to answer them over and over again. It still bothers when they ask a question and I don't know the answer because this place has brainwashed me into thinking that I always need to know the answer and so if I can't answer a question I feel like I'm failing in some way. It's stupid. My parents, Heidi, and Matt came up for Plebe Parent weekend. I had an awesome time that weekend, but it was also really hard because I was struggling a lot with my attitude towards my parents. They would talk to other people and tell them about how they have a daughter at West Point because they are proud of me, but at that point I took it as them using me to elavate themselves and I wasn't sure that they would still be proud of me and treat me the same if something happend and I decided to leave West Point. Matt was awesome that weekend and we talked a lot and he helped me a ton. Looking back on it I realize that I was taking everything that my parents were doing and saying the wrong way and I think that Matt realized that and was trying to show me that, but I was so full of millions of emotions and didn't understand it. There was just so much going on on every level that weekend with me. I'm still sorting it out. I must say that I can't ask for a better friend/brother than Matt. I am sorry, however, that I didn't get to spend a lot of time with Heidi. Over the past year my relationship with my parents has steadily improved. Once again I really like spending time with my parents and talking to them about what's going on in my life. I wish I could spend more time with them. Perhaps it's odd for a teenager, but I wanted to spend every moment with them when they were up here two weekends ago. I choose going out with my parents over going out with my friends. I can go out with my friends another time, but I only see my parents every few months. I love my family a ton.
Wednesday, October 02, 2002
Tomorrow is Matt's birthday. Today I was in the bookstore and looked for a card to send him to get back at him for the one he gave me last year. I don't remember what the card said exactly, but it was something about me being old and I think it had a punch-out bingo or tic tac toe game. I only had a few minutes today and didn't find the perfect one so I'll probably go again tomorrow. I also have to find a card to send my Grandma. I haven't written her in a while.
Secrets, secrets are not fun. Secrets, secrests hurt someone. How many times have I heard that since elementry school? Most often it was said by someone watching two people whispering something to each other and they wanted to know what the people were saying. What happens when you keep the secret hidden within yourself and it's you that it's hurting? Annah and Tia invited me to their Bible Study this evening after practice and I decided to go. I must admit that I didn't really go for the Bible Study, but instead for the food because everyone else had already gone to dinner and I didn't want to go by myslef. Now I'm really glad that they invited me and that I went, not because of the really yummy food, but because I found the Bible Study really interesting and thought provoking.
The topic today was fear, most importantly what secrets we have hidden within ourselves and our afraid to share. The passage referenced was Matthew 10:26-28;
"So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in dark, speak in the daylight: what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell."
I have things that I don't want anybody to know. Things I've done, thought, allowed to be done, etc. I feel the same as one of the girls who said that she would rather disappear than tell somebody about them. Everybody has something in their life like this. As with most people, I'm scared that if I did tell someone that they would then be dissapointed in me, act differently towards me, judge me, not be my friend, etc. A true friend would not do this, but Satan places a fear in me that says that people would do those things if they found about about what I've done. Some of the people I respect the most are those who were able to overcome their fear, confess their sins, ask for forgivness and recieved and accepted God's grace. They openly talk about what they did and I repsect that because it takes a lot of courage, more than I think I have at the moment. Because they can share their experiance it draws people closer to them because they seem more human and are not trying to put on an act of being perfect.
Confessing the things to God and asking for forgivness it good and rightous, but speaking them outloud to another person seems to lift the weight off my shoulders. I would like to confess some things to a friend to get ease the burden of carrying them around inside of me, but I think I'd only be comfertable doing that if we both were sharing things with each other. That takes out a lot of the fear of them judging me because we would both be making ourselves vulnerable at the same time. The heaviest burden is the one that you make yourself carry around.
Secrets, secrets are not fun. Secrets, secrests hurt someone. How many times have I heard that since elementry school? Most often it was said by someone watching two people whispering something to each other and they wanted to know what the people were saying. What happens when you keep the secret hidden within yourself and it's you that it's hurting? Annah and Tia invited me to their Bible Study this evening after practice and I decided to go. I must admit that I didn't really go for the Bible Study, but instead for the food because everyone else had already gone to dinner and I didn't want to go by myslef. Now I'm really glad that they invited me and that I went, not because of the really yummy food, but because I found the Bible Study really interesting and thought provoking.
The topic today was fear, most importantly what secrets we have hidden within ourselves and our afraid to share. The passage referenced was Matthew 10:26-28;
"So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in dark, speak in the daylight: what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell."
I have things that I don't want anybody to know. Things I've done, thought, allowed to be done, etc. I feel the same as one of the girls who said that she would rather disappear than tell somebody about them. Everybody has something in their life like this. As with most people, I'm scared that if I did tell someone that they would then be dissapointed in me, act differently towards me, judge me, not be my friend, etc. A true friend would not do this, but Satan places a fear in me that says that people would do those things if they found about about what I've done. Some of the people I respect the most are those who were able to overcome their fear, confess their sins, ask for forgivness and recieved and accepted God's grace. They openly talk about what they did and I repsect that because it takes a lot of courage, more than I think I have at the moment. Because they can share their experiance it draws people closer to them because they seem more human and are not trying to put on an act of being perfect.
Confessing the things to God and asking for forgivness it good and rightous, but speaking them outloud to another person seems to lift the weight off my shoulders. I would like to confess some things to a friend to get ease the burden of carrying them around inside of me, but I think I'd only be comfertable doing that if we both were sharing things with each other. That takes out a lot of the fear of them judging me because we would both be making ourselves vulnerable at the same time. The heaviest burden is the one that you make yourself carry around.
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
Today was one of those days were I felt rather lonely and wondered if my friends find me annoying and odd. What if they think that for some reason I think I'm better then them or something. That's totally not true, actually, it's the opposite. I wish I could be more like my friends. More outgoing, talkative, a better listener, etc. Most of my life I've had groups of really close friends, but no best friends. Within those groups of friends there were people who were best friends and watching them be so close made me wish that I had a best friend or was their best friend. Do I really have the ability to make someone feel special?
Scott, Adam, and Huff were rather suprised today when i asked them about a Bible verse I read last night, especially when I had a Bible with me to show them the verse. They thought it was rather odd, but the verse disturbed me and I needed to talk to someone about it. Scott was pretty helpfull and I feel a little better now, but need more information. I think the verse it 1 Corinthians 14:34. Maybe it's chapter 13. Anyway, it's about women not being allowed to talk in Church.
Scott, Adam, and Huff were rather suprised today when i asked them about a Bible verse I read last night, especially when I had a Bible with me to show them the verse. They thought it was rather odd, but the verse disturbed me and I needed to talk to someone about it. Scott was pretty helpfull and I feel a little better now, but need more information. I think the verse it 1 Corinthians 14:34. Maybe it's chapter 13. Anyway, it's about women not being allowed to talk in Church.
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