I hate emotions. Not really, but this week kinda sucks right now emotionally. I'm trying to figure out a bunch of stuff and I seem to be going in circles. What I really want to do is sit down with a friend and just spill everything out, but right now I don't know who to go to and part of me is afraid I'd end up crying or something. Back home everybody says it's okay to cry, but here it's really looked down upon a lot of times. I'm also playing the blame game right now and am trying to stop. It just started this week and I don't like where it's going. Never blame anyone else for your own problems. Don't try and pass your own actions or inactions off as the result of somebody else's actions or inactions. I just need to open up more I guess. I have a problem of trying to keep everything bottled up inside of me and not letting other people know what's really going on. For some reason I have a problem trusting people when it comes to my emotions and stuff like that. Right now I have the act going that everything is okay. People like happy, normal people. Now I've gone and made it sound like something is really wrong, which is not the case. It's just a downhill in the normal emotional rollercoaster called life.

I have practice tomorrow at 5:30am and so I really should be asleep, but I'm used to not getting to bed until 12:30 and so I'm not tired right now. It was a busy day. Tomorrow looks a little less stressfull. Good night