What are my roommates and I doing up at 1:39am on a Friday night? You'd probably guess partying, right? I mean, hey, we are college students and it's the weekend so 1:39am is actually not that late. Well I've got news for you buster. We've decided, for fun or course, to forgo the usual late night partying that goes on here and instead stay up late and have a great time cleaning. I mean really, what is more fun than sitting outside in the hall shining my hat brass at 1am while I wait for my floor to dry after Tara moped it? This is of course so much fun that the people in the rooms around us decided to give it a try too. They must be having a great time also because we're all still up and cleaning. You should try it sometime. The way to have the most fun is to make sure that you and your roommate(s) have the same iteams in your drawers and that they're folded and placed exactly the same. Hangers need to be spaced out evenly throughout the closet and all buttons must be buttoned, except on shirts because then it's only the top button. Desk drawers and overheads should be neat and orderly. The floor has to be swept and moped. Swiffering it many times helps a lot also. Every single surface must be dusted. That includes desks, drawers, behind drawers, behind desk, bed, bed springs, door knob, door bolt, bookshelf, chair, hats, computer, phone, camera, picture frame, ect. Books on the bookshelf must be in height order and pushed to the back with the tallest on the far left. Windows and mirrors must be clean and free of any smears or smudges. Newspaper works best for cleaning them. Shoes and boots should be shined to glass and aligned under the bed with the toes right at the edge of the bed. Aligning them with a broomstick works the best. Laundry bags can only be up the 1/3 full and no fair hiding anything in there. If you have a rifle make sure that it's clean and that the strap is loose. Beds should be made as tight as humanly possible and should of course all look the same. Nothing can hang on the walls. The floor and the walls must be free of smudges and spots. Believe me, this is really fun. Although I love doing it all myself I am willing to give someone else a chance to experiance the fun next time I decide to forgo my usual weekend partying for this.
Just to clarify, my usual weekend partying consistes of watching a dvd and being in bed around 12. Yes, life here is a blast.
Saturday, September 07, 2002
I ate too much at the crew BBQ, but it was really good food. There were a lot of salads which were awesome, fresh fruit and veggies, corn mash stuff that was really good and filling, hot dogs and hamburgers, cookies and cake, and other good stuff. I filled up on the salad, fruit and veggies and then dug into half a hamburger, 4 cookies, and a slice of cake. My stomach feels like it's going to explode.
Tonight my roommates and I have to clean for SAMI tomorrow morning, but right now I'm really not in the mood to clean. We already have most of our clothing drawers in BAG, but we still have to arrange our medicine cabinets, desk drawers, overheads, dust, sweep, windex, and aliagn hangers and button/unbutton clothes hanging up and make sure they're in the proper order. What I really want to do is sit back and watch a movie with some friends, but since I don't think I'll be able to do that I'll probably just have a dvd playing on my computer while I clean.
The flood lights just turned on outside. The sky is a dark, clear blue color that lightens as you reach the horizon. There are a few pale whitish-pink wisps of clouds in the sky that provide a nice contrast to the blue evening sky. The black of the tree-line has the most stunning effect against the light blue of the horizon.
I still can't spell very well, my grammer is atroucious, but I've chosen to ignore those things while writing this. If I concentrated on being techniclly proficient it would detract tremendously from my ability to write and vent. I have this as a way to get my thoughts out and possibly even share them with anyone who cares to read. I am a rather quiet person in person so this gives my friends and others a chance to see a side of me that they normally would not get to view. I don't care who reads this, or even if no one reads it. I'm writing for me. It sounds rather selfish actually, but I've found it to be very helpful. Before last year I was never much of a person to keep a journal. Beast showed me that letter writing can be very helpful and is good way to relieve stress and relax. Every night I stayed up almost an hour after taps writing letters to my family and friends. That stopped once the school year started and the rigors of academics started. Then in February Matt introduced me to Blogger. I started out writing a soap opera type blog along with my roommates, but that proved to be too time consuming and once my mom found out about it she asked me to stop because she said it was too risky. A little later I started this blog and have written in it ever since then. Hopefully it will still be around in some form or fashion years from now so I can look back and read about what my life was like. This is who I am. The good and the bad. Not everything is writtten in here, but a lot is written.
Tonight my roommates and I have to clean for SAMI tomorrow morning, but right now I'm really not in the mood to clean. We already have most of our clothing drawers in BAG, but we still have to arrange our medicine cabinets, desk drawers, overheads, dust, sweep, windex, and aliagn hangers and button/unbutton clothes hanging up and make sure they're in the proper order. What I really want to do is sit back and watch a movie with some friends, but since I don't think I'll be able to do that I'll probably just have a dvd playing on my computer while I clean.
The flood lights just turned on outside. The sky is a dark, clear blue color that lightens as you reach the horizon. There are a few pale whitish-pink wisps of clouds in the sky that provide a nice contrast to the blue evening sky. The black of the tree-line has the most stunning effect against the light blue of the horizon.
I still can't spell very well, my grammer is atroucious, but I've chosen to ignore those things while writing this. If I concentrated on being techniclly proficient it would detract tremendously from my ability to write and vent. I have this as a way to get my thoughts out and possibly even share them with anyone who cares to read. I am a rather quiet person in person so this gives my friends and others a chance to see a side of me that they normally would not get to view. I don't care who reads this, or even if no one reads it. I'm writing for me. It sounds rather selfish actually, but I've found it to be very helpful. Before last year I was never much of a person to keep a journal. Beast showed me that letter writing can be very helpful and is good way to relieve stress and relax. Every night I stayed up almost an hour after taps writing letters to my family and friends. That stopped once the school year started and the rigors of academics started. Then in February Matt introduced me to Blogger. I started out writing a soap opera type blog along with my roommates, but that proved to be too time consuming and once my mom found out about it she asked me to stop because she said it was too risky. A little later I started this blog and have written in it ever since then. Hopefully it will still be around in some form or fashion years from now so I can look back and read about what my life was like. This is who I am. The good and the bad. Not everything is writtten in here, but a lot is written.
Friday, September 06, 2002
Friday afternoons without class are the best. After lunch I can come back to my room, read the New York Times all the way through, watch CNN, and relax. It's great to find out what's going on in the world because a lot of times I have no clue.
Happy Rosh Hashanah.
Today in philosophy Dr. Tramel had us look at two valid arguments proving the existance of God and also saying that there is no God. Although the proofs showed they were technically both valid I didn't really like either of them. The assumptions made were rather broad and opinionated it seemed.
As we were doing that I started to think about something that seemed hard to convice. The fact that God has no beginning. He's always been there. It was much easier to compreheand the fact that He'll always be there, but for something to have no beginning is almost unimaginable. No, I'm not saying that I doubt the fact that God had no beginning because I don't doubt it. I just find it very hard to compreheand because everything I know of has had a beginning. My problem is that I'm trying to fit God into linear terms and find it impossible. God is not a number line, but that's the closest thing that I can think of to logically compreahend the matter. He goes from negative infinitey to positive infinity. Right now it takes faith for me to believe this and will probably always be this way. I just find it cool to think about.
Happy Rosh Hashanah.
Today in philosophy Dr. Tramel had us look at two valid arguments proving the existance of God and also saying that there is no God. Although the proofs showed they were technically both valid I didn't really like either of them. The assumptions made were rather broad and opinionated it seemed.
As we were doing that I started to think about something that seemed hard to convice. The fact that God has no beginning. He's always been there. It was much easier to compreheand the fact that He'll always be there, but for something to have no beginning is almost unimaginable. No, I'm not saying that I doubt the fact that God had no beginning because I don't doubt it. I just find it very hard to compreheand because everything I know of has had a beginning. My problem is that I'm trying to fit God into linear terms and find it impossible. God is not a number line, but that's the closest thing that I can think of to logically compreahend the matter. He goes from negative infinitey to positive infinity. Right now it takes faith for me to believe this and will probably always be this way. I just find it cool to think about.
I think that I actually did okay on my physics writ today. All of the calculations were correct and everything. The one mistake that I made was that I forgot the SI units for frequency so I made it meters instead of Hz. Capt Morgan handed back the Econ writs today and I got a 91/100 on it. The class average was 82/100, so I was happy, but it was a pretty easy writ and I made a few stupid mistakes.
Since I currently have no love interests so right now I'm focused on Amaka and her's. It works out pretty well because I still feel all the excitment and stuff, but don't have the stress and worry or such emotional extremes. He's a nice guy. She's a nice girl. They'd be perfect together. It's funny because relationships here tend to revert back to grade school instead of becoming more grown-up and mature. I thought that I was the only one who acted and felt the way I did, but now I know that at least one person here is similar to me. Thanks Amaka. (ps Swimming Buggy)
Today at practice we pulled a 6k on the erg. My time was 26.01.9 minutes. I keep comparing myself with other girls on the team which is something I need to stop because it does not help me. Tomorrow we're back on the water doing drills and then the crew team is having a BBQ. Coach Hall said he want's to try and have one every Friday in order to promote bonding between the different teams, especially the guys and the girls. He said that success will be measured by the number of guys on the team that we know by name. This from the man who repeatedly tells us that boys are bad and to not have a boyfriend. Yesterday he told Jes and I that a lot of high up people are pushing for crew to become a corps squad sport. That has both positives and negatives. Positives are more authos (from the 79 we have right now to possibly 140), more funding by ODIA (new uniforms, sandels, other cool stuff), a little more respect in some ways, possibly guard authos (the coaches still would want us to drill, parade, do ccq, and all that bad stuff though. oh well), and team tables during mandatory meals. The bad would be tighter regulations controlled by ODIA and NCAA, possibly less money, a little respect could be lost in some ways, and who knows what else. All that aside, Coach Hall is talking to General Brooks, the Comm, about next fall. His latest and greatest idea is for us to practice in the morning at 5:30, have staybacks from breakfast, and not have a class first hour. Since practice would be done in the morning the afternoon would be free for drill :(, study hall, or weight lifting. Once again, that has both pro's and con's which I'm not going to get into.
Erich and I talked on IM tonight for a little while. He's doing well, but his computer just had everything erased by Goldcoats because he had to take it in for repair. I guess his disk space was all filled up or something. Anyway, it sucks.
The theme for madatory dinner tonight was Toga Party. My roommates and I all dressed up and I even had the wreath thing going on my head. It was fun to look stupid for a change. This web page got sent around the corps today so that everyone would know how to make a toga. Gotta love Thursday night Spirit Dinners.
Since I currently have no love interests so right now I'm focused on Amaka and her's. It works out pretty well because I still feel all the excitment and stuff, but don't have the stress and worry or such emotional extremes. He's a nice guy. She's a nice girl. They'd be perfect together. It's funny because relationships here tend to revert back to grade school instead of becoming more grown-up and mature. I thought that I was the only one who acted and felt the way I did, but now I know that at least one person here is similar to me. Thanks Amaka. (ps Swimming Buggy)
Today at practice we pulled a 6k on the erg. My time was 26.01.9 minutes. I keep comparing myself with other girls on the team which is something I need to stop because it does not help me. Tomorrow we're back on the water doing drills and then the crew team is having a BBQ. Coach Hall said he want's to try and have one every Friday in order to promote bonding between the different teams, especially the guys and the girls. He said that success will be measured by the number of guys on the team that we know by name. This from the man who repeatedly tells us that boys are bad and to not have a boyfriend. Yesterday he told Jes and I that a lot of high up people are pushing for crew to become a corps squad sport. That has both positives and negatives. Positives are more authos (from the 79 we have right now to possibly 140), more funding by ODIA (new uniforms, sandels, other cool stuff), a little more respect in some ways, possibly guard authos (the coaches still would want us to drill, parade, do ccq, and all that bad stuff though. oh well), and team tables during mandatory meals. The bad would be tighter regulations controlled by ODIA and NCAA, possibly less money, a little respect could be lost in some ways, and who knows what else. All that aside, Coach Hall is talking to General Brooks, the Comm, about next fall. His latest and greatest idea is for us to practice in the morning at 5:30, have staybacks from breakfast, and not have a class first hour. Since practice would be done in the morning the afternoon would be free for drill :(, study hall, or weight lifting. Once again, that has both pro's and con's which I'm not going to get into.
Erich and I talked on IM tonight for a little while. He's doing well, but his computer just had everything erased by Goldcoats because he had to take it in for repair. I guess his disk space was all filled up or something. Anyway, it sucks.
The theme for madatory dinner tonight was Toga Party. My roommates and I all dressed up and I even had the wreath thing going on my head. It was fun to look stupid for a change. This web page got sent around the corps today so that everyone would know how to make a toga. Gotta love Thursday night Spirit Dinners.
Thursday, September 05, 2002
I really should be in bed.
Kate go to bed.
Yes Ma'am!
That's Corporal to you 3rd class.
Corporal, may I make a correction?
Yes
Yes Corporal!
Now greet and get to bed.
Yes Corporal! Beat Holy Cross Corporal!
I'm in your company.
Corporal, may I make a correction?
Yes
Go Cowboys Corporal!
I'm in your plattoon.
Corporal, may I make a correction?
Yes
Make some noise Corporal!
Raise Hell! Now go to bed.
Wow! I'm one ate-up yuk, plus I'm a nerd and a tool. I just hazed myself. I should haze myself for hazing myself. It's catch-22. I'll just stop now.
Kate go to bed.
Yes Ma'am!
That's Corporal to you 3rd class.
Corporal, may I make a correction?
Yes
Yes Corporal!
Now greet and get to bed.
Yes Corporal! Beat Holy Cross Corporal!
I'm in your company.
Corporal, may I make a correction?
Yes
Go Cowboys Corporal!
I'm in your plattoon.
Corporal, may I make a correction?
Yes
Make some noise Corporal!
Raise Hell! Now go to bed.
Wow! I'm one ate-up yuk, plus I'm a nerd and a tool. I just hazed myself. I should haze myself for hazing myself. It's catch-22. I'll just stop now.
From 6pm until now I've managed to eat dinner, watch the simpsons, take my TA-50 back down to the trunk room, swim for 40 min, shower, pull a 500m peice on the erg, do my physics, put my latrine locker in BAG, put my drawers in BAG, shine and edge dress two pairs of boots and one pair of shoes, remake my bed with my comforter, talk to Jasmin for about 5 min when she came to visit, start to read my econ homework, record all the food I ate today and calculate the different things for my wellness project, send Bowlby and email with what we're doing for FCDT tomorrow morning, eat an orange and some marshmellow cups, and look at a few funny sites on the internet. It's been a busy night and I haven't done my calc, wellness, or econ homework to standard. Tomorrow morning I have a physics writ and I really need to do well on it, but I don't think I will.
Yumm, chocolate. If only it weren't so bad for you.
Yesterday Coach Hall told us that today we were going to row down to Bear Mountain Bridge and back. I was half looking forward to it and half dreading it. Annah asked me to get down to the boat house a little early so that she could work on timing in the rowing tanks. As it turned out Coach Hall had me ride in the launch today. He was going to switch me in half-way through, but since I ended up being the only person not rowing he didn't want to break up the boat unity on the long row so I didn't get to row at all. They rowed 8-10 miles total, got to turn around under Bear Mountain Bridge, and I missed out on a great workout and row:( Jess and I are supposed to go swimming later tonight if the pool is less crowded and she's supposed to really smoke me with this workout she has planed.
Tryouts are starting for the Combat Divers Qualification Course (CDQC) and today they had an informational meeting. Femals aren't allowed to go to the school, but my Buckner 2 squad leader went through it this past summer. When I heard tryouts annoucnced over the poop deck a few days ago I for some reason thought that it would be something Erich would do. Today I found out that I was right because as I was coming back from dinner he was going to the meeting and when he saw me he shouted hi and waved.
At lunch the First Captian announced the death of another '02 grad. He didn't say how he died or anything, just that he was in F2 last year. That's already the second death from that class since they've graduated. It's really sad. The first person died while he was duing a land navigation for the ranger school train up course.
Yesterday Coach Hall told us that today we were going to row down to Bear Mountain Bridge and back. I was half looking forward to it and half dreading it. Annah asked me to get down to the boat house a little early so that she could work on timing in the rowing tanks. As it turned out Coach Hall had me ride in the launch today. He was going to switch me in half-way through, but since I ended up being the only person not rowing he didn't want to break up the boat unity on the long row so I didn't get to row at all. They rowed 8-10 miles total, got to turn around under Bear Mountain Bridge, and I missed out on a great workout and row:( Jess and I are supposed to go swimming later tonight if the pool is less crowded and she's supposed to really smoke me with this workout she has planed.
Tryouts are starting for the Combat Divers Qualification Course (CDQC) and today they had an informational meeting. Femals aren't allowed to go to the school, but my Buckner 2 squad leader went through it this past summer. When I heard tryouts annoucnced over the poop deck a few days ago I for some reason thought that it would be something Erich would do. Today I found out that I was right because as I was coming back from dinner he was going to the meeting and when he saw me he shouted hi and waved.
At lunch the First Captian announced the death of another '02 grad. He didn't say how he died or anything, just that he was in F2 last year. That's already the second death from that class since they've graduated. It's really sad. The first person died while he was duing a land navigation for the ranger school train up course.
Wednesday, September 04, 2002
Yippee! SAMI on Saturday. That's what I love to do on saturday mornings. Get up early, get all dressed up in white over grey, stand at parade rest for 2 hours and have people come in my room and inspect everything little thing while checking for dust using a white glove. I bet there's still people out there who think they have an invasion of privacy case on their hands if their parents even peek into their rooms once in awhile. Everything here is a privalige, as a I learned last year. That includes eating, sleeping, talking, phone, computer, clothes, ect.
Thank you for tuning in to today's session of Yearling Bitterness Development Time (YBDT). This has been a presentation of BOHICA entertainment.
*BOHICA stands for Bend Over Here It Comes Again. A favorite motto of many a people during Buckner.*
Thank you for tuning in to today's session of Yearling Bitterness Development Time (YBDT). This has been a presentation of BOHICA entertainment.
*BOHICA stands for Bend Over Here It Comes Again. A favorite motto of many a people during Buckner.*
Tomorrow looks like a crappy day. Das ist poopy.
YAY!:) talked to matt on the phone tonight, but was kinda multi-tasking at the same time and everything that I thought of to tell him I realized that I had written down in here. oh well.
me no want to do homework. philosophy seems very dry right now. All were doing is analyzing arguments.
YAY!:) talked to matt on the phone tonight, but was kinda multi-tasking at the same time and everything that I thought of to tell him I realized that I had written down in here. oh well.
me no want to do homework. philosophy seems very dry right now. All were doing is analyzing arguments.
I am a real rebel here. I'm sitting at my desk watching Gilmore Girls while wearing a tank top, fake regulation shorts, Birkenstocks, and a green face masque. I don't think I have anything on that's actually issued or allowed and it feels great, as long as I don't get caught.
Tomorrow morning we have a TA-50 layout for some reason and so I just went down to the trunkroom to get all of my TA-50. I have most of it in my ruck sack except for my kevlar helmet and bed roll. While I was waiting for the elevator I was wearing the rucksack and leaning up against the wall. I guess I leaned back a little too far and the extra weight threw me off balance and I ended up sliding/falling down the wall until I was almost flat on my back. The rucksack prevented me from falling all the way so I was in a semi sitting/lying postition. It was rather funny, but I was really glad that no one was in the hallway right then to see it happen.
Today I finaly checked my mail after having my Mom remind me for at least a week to do it. Last time I checked my mail, which was probably 3 weeks ago, all I had was 2 bills and an advertisement for Shades Pizza. This time, however, the result was much better. I had letter from my Mom, my Grandma, Mrs. Newton, and Matt :) (sidenote: Alyson just walked in and burst out laughing when she saw my green face). Back to my mail. I also got the new Reader's Digest, a piece of mail addressed to Charlie Haltiwager with my PO Box address, and I found out my Dad had given me a subscription to Guideposts. It was like Christmas in September. Matt's letter was awesome. He said that he was at Elk Lake when he wrote it. That's so weird because that's where my whole extended family, except me of course, was on vacation this summer around the 4th of July.
Coach Hall had me as stroke as the varsity B boat today which was cool. I hope I stay in that position. Practice was kinda hard because we did two 20 min and one 15 min piece at 60% pressure and a goal stroke rate of 24. Last spring that would have been a breeze, but I'm rusty and out of shape and so it was pretty hard. My hands took a pretty hard beating and are already blister covered and starting to get ripped up. That didn't happen last year, but that was probably because we didn't jump right into things because everyone except Beth and I were just learning to row. I can't wait until I get back into the swing of things.
Tomorrow morning we have a TA-50 layout for some reason and so I just went down to the trunkroom to get all of my TA-50. I have most of it in my ruck sack except for my kevlar helmet and bed roll. While I was waiting for the elevator I was wearing the rucksack and leaning up against the wall. I guess I leaned back a little too far and the extra weight threw me off balance and I ended up sliding/falling down the wall until I was almost flat on my back. The rucksack prevented me from falling all the way so I was in a semi sitting/lying postition. It was rather funny, but I was really glad that no one was in the hallway right then to see it happen.
Today I finaly checked my mail after having my Mom remind me for at least a week to do it. Last time I checked my mail, which was probably 3 weeks ago, all I had was 2 bills and an advertisement for Shades Pizza. This time, however, the result was much better. I had letter from my Mom, my Grandma, Mrs. Newton, and Matt :) (sidenote: Alyson just walked in and burst out laughing when she saw my green face). Back to my mail. I also got the new Reader's Digest, a piece of mail addressed to Charlie Haltiwager with my PO Box address, and I found out my Dad had given me a subscription to Guideposts. It was like Christmas in September. Matt's letter was awesome. He said that he was at Elk Lake when he wrote it. That's so weird because that's where my whole extended family, except me of course, was on vacation this summer around the 4th of July.
Coach Hall had me as stroke as the varsity B boat today which was cool. I hope I stay in that position. Practice was kinda hard because we did two 20 min and one 15 min piece at 60% pressure and a goal stroke rate of 24. Last spring that would have been a breeze, but I'm rusty and out of shape and so it was pretty hard. My hands took a pretty hard beating and are already blister covered and starting to get ripped up. That didn't happen last year, but that was probably because we didn't jump right into things because everyone except Beth and I were just learning to row. I can't wait until I get back into the swing of things.
Tuesday, September 03, 2002
I've found that I like the techno remixs of some classical music. The pulsing beat mixed with the orchestra makes it come alive in a whole new way.
Tomorrow I have a wellness quiz and a writ (big quiz) in ecomomics and I am not properly prepared for either one and it's my own fault. Tonight instead of studying diligently I was easily distracted by this, music, friends, and all manner of other things. Tomorrow I'll have to go in and do my best knowing that next time I should buckle down and do my work.
Okay, this song I'm listening to is listed as techno, but it is definetly only opera. Somebody messed up.
Learn from history and past mistakes. Both yours and other peoples.
Tomorrow I have a wellness quiz and a writ (big quiz) in ecomomics and I am not properly prepared for either one and it's my own fault. Tonight instead of studying diligently I was easily distracted by this, music, friends, and all manner of other things. Tomorrow I'll have to go in and do my best knowing that next time I should buckle down and do my work.
Okay, this song I'm listening to is listed as techno, but it is definetly only opera. Somebody messed up.
Learn from history and past mistakes. Both yours and other peoples.
Homework and I are not agreeing. I really need to do it, but I can't seem to concentrate. The room seems unusualy noisy and distracting. Going to the library to study would be a good idea, but I don't think I'll be able to convince my body to get up and move that far.
This evening Ez came over and we ended up argueing over how carmel was pronounced. She says caramel and I say carmel. It was the stupidest thing, but we were both having fun making fun of each other and laughing about it. Just now she called me to tell me about how Isaac (the guy she likes) IM'd her today and then called her :)
Find something to smile about every day. Love God, love your family, and don't give a damn what anybody else thinks. Remember to have fun. Stop everything and take a every so often. Put everything into perspective and your problems seem a lot smaller and sometimes even stupid compared to what some people face. Make someone feel special brighten up your own day. You are not the center of the universe. Try something new once in a while. Dare to step out and make a fool of yourself. Expand your horizons. Don't be afraid of love or loss. Success is a long journey, failure is only a brief moment. Don't compare yourself to others, everybody's different. Find out who you are and be yourself. Be a servant to others. Never compramise who you are, what your morals are, or what you believe. One moment of happiness is not worth a lifetime of pain. Have a goal and work to achieve it. Reward yourself. Pray. Showing emotion is healthy and good for you. Find your niche. You are your own best friend and worst enemy. Life is an adventure, grab it by the balls.
This evening Ez came over and we ended up argueing over how carmel was pronounced. She says caramel and I say carmel. It was the stupidest thing, but we were both having fun making fun of each other and laughing about it. Just now she called me to tell me about how Isaac (the guy she likes) IM'd her today and then called her :)
Find something to smile about every day. Love God, love your family, and don't give a damn what anybody else thinks. Remember to have fun. Stop everything and take a every so often. Put everything into perspective and your problems seem a lot smaller and sometimes even stupid compared to what some people face. Make someone feel special brighten up your own day. You are not the center of the universe. Try something new once in a while. Dare to step out and make a fool of yourself. Expand your horizons. Don't be afraid of love or loss. Success is a long journey, failure is only a brief moment. Don't compare yourself to others, everybody's different. Find out who you are and be yourself. Be a servant to others. Never compramise who you are, what your morals are, or what you believe. One moment of happiness is not worth a lifetime of pain. Have a goal and work to achieve it. Reward yourself. Pray. Showing emotion is healthy and good for you. Find your niche. You are your own best friend and worst enemy. Life is an adventure, grab it by the balls.
I'm thinking about changing this blog somehow, but I'm not sure what I want to do yet. Right now I feel like I'm whining and complaining on it all the time and I want to change that. Listening to someone moan about their life all the time is not fun. I don't have a lot of time to spend on any changes, but if anyone has any suggestions let me know.
Monday, September 02, 2002
The BBQ yesterday went pretty well. My family started showing up around 2pm and Steph came by around 2:30. I played with my cousins all afternoon outside blowing bubbles, tossing around footballs, and playing with the dogs. Betsy took Steph and I to Dominoes Farms Petting Farm to visit the rabbits and see the new babies. They're Flemish Giants and the grown ones are huge, but the babies are really tiny still. The goats were really cute and there were a few kids (young goats) roaming around that we got to pet. Mark came by around 8 just as all of my family was leaving. We sat around and talked and then Liz came by around 11pm. It was nice to see all of them and talk, but I was getting really tired and almost falling asleep around midnight.
Today I wore my uniform to Church because my parents wanted me too. I could have said no, but they love it when I wear it and I wanted to make them happy. Looking back on it I shoudl have just said no because I really felt uncomfertable wearing it today. It was very embarresing at Church because for some reason I just broke down and started crying. I think it was because of pms, Jon dying and never getting a change to properly grieve and have closure, feeling like everybody was staring at me because I was in uniform, and feeling very unfeminine. It sounds weird, but I put on the uniform and it's like I have to be this certain person who never shows emotion, who no guy will look at and see as beautiful, and like I intimidate people. Then to make matters worse I was crying in uniform which made me feel like I was disgracing the uniform and losing the respect of the people there.
I want to be a female. I don't want to scare guys, I don't want them to tell me that I'm stronger than them or have bigger muscles then them. I to be seen as a beautiful, intelligent, nice person who can laugh, cry, dress up, dress down, and is attractive.
After Church Matt and I went out to lunch. We got subs from Jimmy Johns and then ended up going to a park, found a bench, ate our subs and talked.
When I got home Heidi took me to her new house to show me it. It's a pretty nice place.
Last night around 11pm Misha called me and asked if I wanted to do something today and so we deicided to go see a movie. He picked me up around 4pm and we went and saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It's a hillarious movie. I'd definetly recommend it. I thougt that it was really cool that even though we're just friends he still paid for the tickets. After the movie Misha and I drove downtown and walked around campus for a while while we talked. I asked him all these questions about what going to UM was like and he showed me all these different buildings and beautiful places. After a while we went to Starbucks and I bought a carmel frappacino. It's really bad for you, but it tastes great and I love it. Hanging out with Misha was a lot of fun. I hope that we can do it again sometime.
Today I wore my uniform to Church because my parents wanted me too. I could have said no, but they love it when I wear it and I wanted to make them happy. Looking back on it I shoudl have just said no because I really felt uncomfertable wearing it today. It was very embarresing at Church because for some reason I just broke down and started crying. I think it was because of pms, Jon dying and never getting a change to properly grieve and have closure, feeling like everybody was staring at me because I was in uniform, and feeling very unfeminine. It sounds weird, but I put on the uniform and it's like I have to be this certain person who never shows emotion, who no guy will look at and see as beautiful, and like I intimidate people. Then to make matters worse I was crying in uniform which made me feel like I was disgracing the uniform and losing the respect of the people there.
I want to be a female. I don't want to scare guys, I don't want them to tell me that I'm stronger than them or have bigger muscles then them. I to be seen as a beautiful, intelligent, nice person who can laugh, cry, dress up, dress down, and is attractive.
After Church Matt and I went out to lunch. We got subs from Jimmy Johns and then ended up going to a park, found a bench, ate our subs and talked.
When I got home Heidi took me to her new house to show me it. It's a pretty nice place.
Last night around 11pm Misha called me and asked if I wanted to do something today and so we deicided to go see a movie. He picked me up around 4pm and we went and saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It's a hillarious movie. I'd definetly recommend it. I thougt that it was really cool that even though we're just friends he still paid for the tickets. After the movie Misha and I drove downtown and walked around campus for a while while we talked. I asked him all these questions about what going to UM was like and he showed me all these different buildings and beautiful places. After a while we went to Starbucks and I bought a carmel frappacino. It's really bad for you, but it tastes great and I love it. Hanging out with Misha was a lot of fun. I hope that we can do it again sometime.
Saturday, August 31, 2002
The truth hurts. I was just reading porcha's blog and she was talking about her life at college and I realized how different mine is from most colleges. In high school most people get up around 6am or a little earlier, but once you get into college 7am becomes the middle of the night for a lot of people. To me that's sleeping in. My life is still structured a lot like high school, only more strict. So much for going away to college and going wild and partying. We have milk drink contests for fun. That's not normal I tell you. Okay, I'm moaning and complaing and feeling sorry for myself so I'll stop now.
People coming over soon. Fun. I have shorter hair now. Go UM football!!!!!
People coming over soon. Fun. I have shorter hair now. Go UM football!!!!!
YAY!!! I'm home :) Life is good. I got on an earlier flight and I got in around 8pm. On the bus to the airport Chris Bess, the class president, was sitting next to me and we were both sleeping for most of the time, but every so often he would either fall over on me or would suddenly flail his arm out and hit me on accident. It was pretty funny. Once we both woke up we started talking and ended up hanging out together until we had gotten our tickets and had to go to our respective gates. I was glad that he was there because La Guardia was a new airport for me and he knew where he was going so I just stuck with him because we both were both flying American.
It was great to walk into my house, which looks really different on the outside, and see Berry and have her all excited to see me. I missed her so much. Just now she came over to me and so I got down and was petting her for awhile and didn't want to stop, except that I wanted to turn on some music. Dogs are the best. I'm going to have one sometime when I get my own place and more time. I'm definetly a dog person. That and a guinea pig person.
My Grandma organized a get together for the cousins on my Mom's side of the family tonight. I went over to her house around 9pm and hung out with my extended family. Most of them I haven't seen in almost a year or more so it was nice to catch up with them. Tomorrow I'll get to see even more family and friends when they come over for the BBQ.
It's great to be home. I'm hoping that I can spend some quality time with my sisters. We haven't really been able to talk a whole lot this summer, especially Betsy and I. I'm also really hoping that I can hang out with Matt a little. I really enjoy just hanging out and talking to him.
This is a weekend to forget about school and try and be a normal teenager once again, except that my Dad really wanted me to bring home one of my uniforms so I can wear it to Church on Sunday. I guess it won't be too bad since I'll only have to wear it for 2 hours.
I was going to talk about how in philosophy the guy sitting next to me and I reverted back to high school behavior to make the time go by and stay awake, but that would make me think about school and I'm trying to avoid it. Maybe later.
This weekend one of my goals is to see at least one movie because I won't get to see another one for a long, long time. Too bad I don't even know what movies are out in the theaters right now. Someone help me.
It was great to walk into my house, which looks really different on the outside, and see Berry and have her all excited to see me. I missed her so much. Just now she came over to me and so I got down and was petting her for awhile and didn't want to stop, except that I wanted to turn on some music. Dogs are the best. I'm going to have one sometime when I get my own place and more time. I'm definetly a dog person. That and a guinea pig person.
My Grandma organized a get together for the cousins on my Mom's side of the family tonight. I went over to her house around 9pm and hung out with my extended family. Most of them I haven't seen in almost a year or more so it was nice to catch up with them. Tomorrow I'll get to see even more family and friends when they come over for the BBQ.
It's great to be home. I'm hoping that I can spend some quality time with my sisters. We haven't really been able to talk a whole lot this summer, especially Betsy and I. I'm also really hoping that I can hang out with Matt a little. I really enjoy just hanging out and talking to him.
This is a weekend to forget about school and try and be a normal teenager once again, except that my Dad really wanted me to bring home one of my uniforms so I can wear it to Church on Sunday. I guess it won't be too bad since I'll only have to wear it for 2 hours.
I was going to talk about how in philosophy the guy sitting next to me and I reverted back to high school behavior to make the time go by and stay awake, but that would make me think about school and I'm trying to avoid it. Maybe later.
This weekend one of my goals is to see at least one movie because I won't get to see another one for a long, long time. Too bad I don't even know what movies are out in the theaters right now. Someone help me.
Friday, August 30, 2002
This weekend is 1000th night. That means that I only have 1000 days left until graduation. YIPPEE!!!!
Once again there's a blatant example of how different West Point is from a "normal" college. Instead of having beer drinking contests we have milk drinking contests. Tonight at dinner I stuck around and witnessed my first one. It was a cow and a plebe who sit at my table along with two other plebes, and then another plebe joined in a little later, trying to see who could drink the most cartons of milk without throwing up. I think Ladner, the plebe at my table, won by drinking 12 milks before he let it spray. The cow and one other plebe each got to 11 cartons before they bent over the water jug. That is one contest I'll definetly never be involved in. It was kinda funny because there was one plebe at my table who didn't get involved in the contest and he was sitting right in the middle of the guys camly eating his dinner. For dessert he had a few pieces of cake and then took a whole cake that was on the table and tried to eat all of it by holding the plate up to his face. Of course someone watching smashed the whole thing into his face as he ate and he ended up with his face covered in frosting. A firstie made him stop midway through the cake because it looked too unprofessional and there was an officer nearby.
Today I found out I made the Varsity Crew Team :) Tomorrow for practice we're going for a run at 5:30am because most of us are leaving on pass in the afternoon. 24 hours from now I'll be long gone from this place. I hope I can get on an earlier flight home because right now I'm not supposed to get in to Detroit until 10pm.
Once again there's a blatant example of how different West Point is from a "normal" college. Instead of having beer drinking contests we have milk drinking contests. Tonight at dinner I stuck around and witnessed my first one. It was a cow and a plebe who sit at my table along with two other plebes, and then another plebe joined in a little later, trying to see who could drink the most cartons of milk without throwing up. I think Ladner, the plebe at my table, won by drinking 12 milks before he let it spray. The cow and one other plebe each got to 11 cartons before they bent over the water jug. That is one contest I'll definetly never be involved in. It was kinda funny because there was one plebe at my table who didn't get involved in the contest and he was sitting right in the middle of the guys camly eating his dinner. For dessert he had a few pieces of cake and then took a whole cake that was on the table and tried to eat all of it by holding the plate up to his face. Of course someone watching smashed the whole thing into his face as he ate and he ended up with his face covered in frosting. A firstie made him stop midway through the cake because it looked too unprofessional and there was an officer nearby.
Today I found out I made the Varsity Crew Team :) Tomorrow for practice we're going for a run at 5:30am because most of us are leaving on pass in the afternoon. 24 hours from now I'll be long gone from this place. I hope I can get on an earlier flight home because right now I'm not supposed to get in to Detroit until 10pm.
Thursday, August 29, 2002
I have a math quiz tomorrow that I really need to study for, but I'm to tired for studying to do any good right now.
Today at crew practice I pulled my 2k piece so that I wouldn't have to pull it tomorrow. I ended up getting my best time ever with a 8:00.6 minutes. I'm only 0.6 seconds away from breaking the 8 minute mark. It's so close. My goal for the end of the fall season is to be down at least to a 7:50.0. Tomorrow I find out if I actually made the varsity team. Coach Hall is going to talk to each one of us one-on-one sometime during or after practice. It's gonna be a pretty nerve racking day. I really hope that I make it, but I'll be sad if I do and some of my friends don't. Today at practice Beth, Anthea, and Annah were talking about some email that some people trying out got. They wouldn't say anything more about it, but from what gathered it wasn't a good email.
Steinbock stopped by my room around 9 this evening and asked me, more like pleaded with me to go on a run with him. I really wanted to, but physics had priority. Earlier I had to cancel going swimming with Jess because of it. My work actually paid off today and I got all the problems on the homework right plus I think I understand it. That's a first.
Tomorrow I can say that I'll be home tomorrow:) My house is going to look so different and weird to me because of all the things that have happened to it since I've been gone. My Dad is having a BBQ on Saturday and invited my Uncle Gary and family over. He said that I could invite some of my friends if I wanted to so I did. I really hope that they can come. Steph already said that she could make it. I've hardly talked to her at all in the past 10 weeks :(
Today at crew practice I pulled my 2k piece so that I wouldn't have to pull it tomorrow. I ended up getting my best time ever with a 8:00.6 minutes. I'm only 0.6 seconds away from breaking the 8 minute mark. It's so close. My goal for the end of the fall season is to be down at least to a 7:50.0. Tomorrow I find out if I actually made the varsity team. Coach Hall is going to talk to each one of us one-on-one sometime during or after practice. It's gonna be a pretty nerve racking day. I really hope that I make it, but I'll be sad if I do and some of my friends don't. Today at practice Beth, Anthea, and Annah were talking about some email that some people trying out got. They wouldn't say anything more about it, but from what gathered it wasn't a good email.
Steinbock stopped by my room around 9 this evening and asked me, more like pleaded with me to go on a run with him. I really wanted to, but physics had priority. Earlier I had to cancel going swimming with Jess because of it. My work actually paid off today and I got all the problems on the homework right plus I think I understand it. That's a first.
Tomorrow I can say that I'll be home tomorrow:) My house is going to look so different and weird to me because of all the things that have happened to it since I've been gone. My Dad is having a BBQ on Saturday and invited my Uncle Gary and family over. He said that I could invite some of my friends if I wanted to so I did. I really hope that they can come. Steph already said that she could make it. I've hardly talked to her at all in the past 10 weeks :(
Wednesday, August 28, 2002
Today at lunch the First Captain announced the death of a 2000 grad. He said he died in an Apache helicopter accident in Korea. I'm sure some of the firsties knew him when he was here because he was the company commander of H1 and the Brigade Information Security Officer. We had a moment of silence for him during the meal. During the Vietnam War there used to be a lot of announcements like that one because of all of the recent grads going off straight into the war. A 2nd LT lasted an average of 2 weeks in the jungle. What courage those young men must have had back then as cadets listening to those announcements knowing that in only a few months that could be their name being announced and yet they still choose to stay. The class of '01 and now the class of '02 are being shipped off to Afghanistan and every so often a report comes back of someone's heroic deed. It's an honor to say that I following in their footsteps and possibly even know some of them personally.
This afternoon the Supe gave my class his usual beginning of academic year briefing. It began with the whole "your class did great this summer, congratulations. Look at some of these exciting changes that we're making around campus, but they won't be finished untill after your class has graduated." It was the same thing last year. He did mention something new, however, and that was that they're thinking about drastically shortening intersession this year. In past years it's been the 2 weeks right after Christmas break, but this year they're thinkng about moving the majority of the classes that we recieve during that time and intergrating them into the normal academic year scheduale during Deans of Comm's hours. Someone asked him what the plans were for all the extra days if that did happend and he had two answers. The first was adding more days onto the academic year and that recieved a lot of boo'ing. The other answer got him a long standing ovation because he jokingly suggested a 3 week spring break. That would be awesome, but would never happen. Getting more vacation time here is like pulling a hippo's teeth. This year they actually cut down the number of passes and made it a lot harder to earn an extra pass. I only have 2 this semester and am using one of them this weekend.
This afternoon the Supe gave my class his usual beginning of academic year briefing. It began with the whole "your class did great this summer, congratulations. Look at some of these exciting changes that we're making around campus, but they won't be finished untill after your class has graduated." It was the same thing last year. He did mention something new, however, and that was that they're thinking about drastically shortening intersession this year. In past years it's been the 2 weeks right after Christmas break, but this year they're thinkng about moving the majority of the classes that we recieve during that time and intergrating them into the normal academic year scheduale during Deans of Comm's hours. Someone asked him what the plans were for all the extra days if that did happend and he had two answers. The first was adding more days onto the academic year and that recieved a lot of boo'ing. The other answer got him a long standing ovation because he jokingly suggested a 3 week spring break. That would be awesome, but would never happen. Getting more vacation time here is like pulling a hippo's teeth. This year they actually cut down the number of passes and made it a lot harder to earn an extra pass. I only have 2 this semester and am using one of them this weekend.
I've changed my mind about naming my computer Alfred Moxley Higginsworth III. It's more of a name for a teddy bear or something, but since Edgar already has a name I'll have to wait untill I get a new one, if I ever do. I've always loved stuffed animals, but was never very fond of actually sleeping with them untill high school. Now Edgar goes almost everywhere with me when I have to spend the night. Kinda odd don't you think?
I hate CCQ... I hate CCQ...I hate CCQ...do you? It's over for today!!!! YEAH!!!!!!
Only 2.5 days and counting:) Today I was talking to a cow in my company and it turns out that he's from South Lyon. He asked me if I went to Pioneer or Huron and if I my parents were in the parents club and all that stuff. There's another guy in my company who's also from MI. I love Michigan. It's a great place.
I totally failed my physics quiz today and got a 20/25 on my wellness quiz. I spend hours doing the homework to no avail. It's poopy I tell you.
Only 2.5 days and counting:) Today I was talking to a cow in my company and it turns out that he's from South Lyon. He asked me if I went to Pioneer or Huron and if I my parents were in the parents club and all that stuff. There's another guy in my company who's also from MI. I love Michigan. It's a great place.
I totally failed my physics quiz today and got a 20/25 on my wellness quiz. I spend hours doing the homework to no avail. It's poopy I tell you.
Tuesday, August 27, 2002
Life goes on. I got a 100% on my first math quiz which I'm happy about. It's good to start the year out on the right foot. Tomorrow I have a physics and wellness quiz so I have to get someone to cover the Q for me while I take them.
Today at practice a few of us weren't in boats to go out on the water and so Coach Hall had Jess lead an excersize thing with these step machines and weights. He told us to do 2 sets of them, but instead we ended up doing 4. It was a good workout.
Jess went swimming tonight and asked if anyone wanted to come and I wanted to, but Annah told me that I shouldn't because that would be too much too fast. Today I've felt better than I've felt in about a week. I'm almost forgetting to take my medicine. In high school and before being sick was different because I could at least stay home from school and rest if I really needed to, but that's not possible here. I don't get to slow down and take at easy so it takes longer to recover. Little illnesses become big annoyances, but you still have to try and carry on as normal. I'm glad that I think I'm almost better.
My computer is now named Alfred Moxley Higginsworth III. I have no clue why I thought of that name last night and today I decided it should be the name of my computer. It's a very odd one. I like the ring that the III adds to it. It sounds like an old-money name. I would feel sorry for anyone was actually name that.
This evening Leah and I went to Grant for some Gatorade, but they didn't have any so we bought some coffee drink thingys. Mine was, um, interesting. It has helped me stay awake however and came in a cool glass jug-type bottle.
I organized a study group for physics with a few of the guys in my company who are in my class. We met in Jason's room at 9 and did our Web Assign homework and helped each other out. Unfortuantly none of us could figure out the correct answer to the first problem.
Tomorrow I face a day of CCQ. Oh joy.
Today at practice a few of us weren't in boats to go out on the water and so Coach Hall had Jess lead an excersize thing with these step machines and weights. He told us to do 2 sets of them, but instead we ended up doing 4. It was a good workout.
Jess went swimming tonight and asked if anyone wanted to come and I wanted to, but Annah told me that I shouldn't because that would be too much too fast. Today I've felt better than I've felt in about a week. I'm almost forgetting to take my medicine. In high school and before being sick was different because I could at least stay home from school and rest if I really needed to, but that's not possible here. I don't get to slow down and take at easy so it takes longer to recover. Little illnesses become big annoyances, but you still have to try and carry on as normal. I'm glad that I think I'm almost better.
My computer is now named Alfred Moxley Higginsworth III. I have no clue why I thought of that name last night and today I decided it should be the name of my computer. It's a very odd one. I like the ring that the III adds to it. It sounds like an old-money name. I would feel sorry for anyone was actually name that.
This evening Leah and I went to Grant for some Gatorade, but they didn't have any so we bought some coffee drink thingys. Mine was, um, interesting. It has helped me stay awake however and came in a cool glass jug-type bottle.
I organized a study group for physics with a few of the guys in my company who are in my class. We met in Jason's room at 9 and did our Web Assign homework and helped each other out. Unfortuantly none of us could figure out the correct answer to the first problem.
Tomorrow I face a day of CCQ. Oh joy.
Monday, August 26, 2002
Last night after the accountablity formation Steinbock, my PSG, stopped by my room to tell me that this week Bowlby is the minutes CIC. I was very lucky last year and never had that position. As his team leader I get in trouble if minutes are screwed up, so it's not like it's a whole lot better this year not having it but having my plebe have it. Minutes this morning went fairly well except one clock wasn't covered. Hopefully that'll be fixed at lunch. I'm more nervous about lunch minutes because everyone is coming back from class and last year it was really hard to round up the people who were supposed to call. We'll see how it goes.
Right as minutes started Eddie came rushing over to the CCQ desk because the 1st SGT had just told him that he was on the Q today and he was almost a 1/2 hour late. He's been on it a lot. I brought him back a plate of food from breakfast because I didn't know if he'd had time to tell anyone that he was on the Q and to bring him back food. As it turns out he'd told Allyson to bring him back something and she did. I felt rather stupid bringing him another plate, but at least he won't go hungry.
Right as minutes started Eddie came rushing over to the CCQ desk because the 1st SGT had just told him that he was on the Q today and he was almost a 1/2 hour late. He's been on it a lot. I brought him back a plate of food from breakfast because I didn't know if he'd had time to tell anyone that he was on the Q and to bring him back food. As it turns out he'd told Allyson to bring him back something and she did. I felt rather stupid bringing him another plate, but at least he won't go hungry.
And life keeps getting weirder. A man in a ski mask wearing gym-a just knocked on the door, ran into the room, and then proceeded to spray my roommate, Tara, with vanilla air freshener. Okay, so it was some guy named Tucker.I don't think I know him, but Tara does. Right before the incident someone out in the hall someone had sprayed her 4 times with cologn and she smelled like a 12 year-old guy going to his first dance. It was rather funny.
Yay! Matt's back. I told Ez many times today that I wasn't going to call him because he was probably really busy having just gotten back and starting school soon, but, well, I ended up calling him. It was really great to talk to him again.
This morning I was walking to Church and feeling sorry for myself because I was still somewhat sick and all that crap. Then, I looked up and realized what a beautiful morning it was and I realized that I was feeling sorry for myself and life was going pretty well. The clouds this morning were spectacular, especially when mixed with the view I had. I was on a hill overlooking the Hudson River surrounded by huge hills. The clouds were really low and on the right side of the river they completley covered the top of the hill, but on the left they seemed to be hiding behind it with wisps hanging over the top. The sky was the perfect blue color and the air held the begining of the fall crispness in it. I wish that I could describe the whole scene better because it was awesome. I love walking to Church because it's so beautiful here and it's a very peaceful and enjoyable walk.
The Gospel lesson, childrens sermon, and sermon were all about having a firm foundation. It reminded me of my favorite hymn, actually it's probably the only hymn that I really like, has a line that is "On Christ the solid rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand." When I was little would ask my mom to sing the Sinking Sand song and liked it because sinking sand was fasinating yet scary to me. Now that I'm a little older I realize what the hymn is actually saying and like it even more. All throughout the service I searched throught the LBW to try and find it, but I didn't because I couldn't remember the title. When I was home over summer we sung it in Church the first Sunday that I was there. My whole family knows I like it and so everytime they see it and we start singing it they all look over at me, smile, and nudge me with their elbows.
Yay! Matt's back. I told Ez many times today that I wasn't going to call him because he was probably really busy having just gotten back and starting school soon, but, well, I ended up calling him. It was really great to talk to him again.
This morning I was walking to Church and feeling sorry for myself because I was still somewhat sick and all that crap. Then, I looked up and realized what a beautiful morning it was and I realized that I was feeling sorry for myself and life was going pretty well. The clouds this morning were spectacular, especially when mixed with the view I had. I was on a hill overlooking the Hudson River surrounded by huge hills. The clouds were really low and on the right side of the river they completley covered the top of the hill, but on the left they seemed to be hiding behind it with wisps hanging over the top. The sky was the perfect blue color and the air held the begining of the fall crispness in it. I wish that I could describe the whole scene better because it was awesome. I love walking to Church because it's so beautiful here and it's a very peaceful and enjoyable walk.
The Gospel lesson, childrens sermon, and sermon were all about having a firm foundation. It reminded me of my favorite hymn, actually it's probably the only hymn that I really like, has a line that is "On Christ the solid rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand." When I was little would ask my mom to sing the Sinking Sand song and liked it because sinking sand was fasinating yet scary to me. Now that I'm a little older I realize what the hymn is actually saying and like it even more. All throughout the service I searched throught the LBW to try and find it, but I didn't because I couldn't remember the title. When I was home over summer we sung it in Church the first Sunday that I was there. My whole family knows I like it and so everytime they see it and we start singing it they all look over at me, smile, and nudge me with their elbows.
Sunday, August 25, 2002
Right now I am seriously pissed because I don't want to have to go to sick call again tomorrow morning, possibly have to have another profile, and possibly be late for 1st hour again. What makes me even more angry is that there isn't a single thing that I can do about the way my eye is looking/acting. It still looks similar to pink-eye. I'm not supposed to get sick twice in a row, especially here. Last year I didn't go to sick call at all. This isn't supposed to be happening!
I'm really on a roll here. This morning I woke up and my left eye was all goopy and red. It's stayed red throughout the day and when I go to sleep it goops up again. Why can't I just stay healthy? I really hope it's not pink eye or anything. On the bright side, my strep throat seems to be getting a lot better.
This afternoon a few of my friends and I went over to the Hanlon's on OPPs, meaning that we could go in civiies:) We sat around watching tv and then started watching Harry Potter. I was really tired and fell asleep about 15 min into it. 2 hours later I woke up when Tia came and sat on me. Leah was asleep on the flloor and most of the other people had already left, but Tia and Annah had come over. Around 4:30 we stared watching the movie Dragonfly while Tia and Amy made dinner and brownies. Annah, Leah, and I were all on the couch and during any semi-scary part we would all huddle together and Annah would grab our hands and sqeeze them as hard as she could. Tia would come in and laugh at us.
I missed most of the ring weekend banquet watching because I was at the Hanlon's house, but Mrs. Hanlon drove Leah, Jodi and I back around 9pm and there were some people still dressed up and leaving with their dates. We saw a firstie girl in her india whites with a civilian guy in a suit and all thought that was the coolest thing. I love seeing cadet girls with civilian guys because it gets old only seeing civilian girls all dressed up hanging on the arms of all the guys here. Tonight made me look forward to YYW and seeing everybody look real nice.
This afternoon a few of my friends and I went over to the Hanlon's on OPPs, meaning that we could go in civiies:) We sat around watching tv and then started watching Harry Potter. I was really tired and fell asleep about 15 min into it. 2 hours later I woke up when Tia came and sat on me. Leah was asleep on the flloor and most of the other people had already left, but Tia and Annah had come over. Around 4:30 we stared watching the movie Dragonfly while Tia and Amy made dinner and brownies. Annah, Leah, and I were all on the couch and during any semi-scary part we would all huddle together and Annah would grab our hands and sqeeze them as hard as she could. Tia would come in and laugh at us.
I missed most of the ring weekend banquet watching because I was at the Hanlon's house, but Mrs. Hanlon drove Leah, Jodi and I back around 9pm and there were some people still dressed up and leaving with their dates. We saw a firstie girl in her india whites with a civilian guy in a suit and all thought that was the coolest thing. I love seeing cadet girls with civilian guys because it gets old only seeing civilian girls all dressed up hanging on the arms of all the guys here. Tonight made me look forward to YYW and seeing everybody look real nice.
Saturday, August 24, 2002
I just found an Always pad on my bed with a note underneath it saying "From the CCQ w/ love." My roommate has one on her bed too. I wonder who's on the Q right now. Probably Eddie. He picked up both a male and a female campus trial pack up from outside the bookstore in Thayer today to get all of the medication from them. The female ones had those in it and I guess he thought it'd be funny to go around and stick them on our beds. Actually, it is rather funny. That just goes to show how deprived of entertainment and fun we are here.
I really should be in bed right now. Both Beth, Annah, and my Mom and Dad have told me that I need to go to bed. I talked to my parents on the phone tonight and mentioned that I'd rowed today. My Dad procceded to tell me rather sternly that I should not have done that and this weekend I need to stay in bed, rest as much as possible, and avoid all physical activity untill I'm completley better. It didn't help that while I was on the phone with them I was coughing up a storm. I agree with him, but that doesn't mean that I'll actually follow the advice completly. I don't think it's possible for me to just lie in bed and do nothing. I'd feel so lazy and like I hadn't accomplished anything. My throat hurts a little more today and right now it feels like I have a cold, but I still want to be active and going to bed isn't that appealing. Well, it is, but it isn't. I'm sure that practice today didn't help my condition at all because I was completly worn out after it even though it wasn't hard at all. There's a battle going on between what I know I should do and what I want to do. I can be rather stubborn if I want to.
I really like the blend Mettalica and the San Fransico Symphony Orchestra. Together they produce and awesome combination of music that fires me up. Last year Erich introduced me to Mettalica with Whiskey in a Bottle. That was my favorite song by them, but I think that was just because it was the one Erich sent me. On Blubbster I was searching for more music by them and eventually came across Hero of the Day done by Mettalica with the San Fransisco Symphony Orchestra and really liked it. Today I found a few more songs done by them. It's awesome.
Yes! It's the weekend. I love weekends. What makes everything even better is that next week at this time I'll either already be home or I'll be on my way home. My plane leaves at 8pm, but I'm hoping that I can get on standby for and earlier flight.
Today at crew practice we went out on the water. Coach Hall had me as stroke of the Eagle even though I haven't done a lot of the practices this week cuz I've been sick. I was worried at first because this afternoon I was feeling a little worse and didnt' have much energy, but once we got out on the water and started rowing I got into the groove of things and it felt great. When I'm rowing, especially when I'm stroke, it's almost like I'm connected to the boat. I can see what my oar is doing even though I can't physically see it. I know how it reacts to the things I do with it and it becomes like a part of my body. My mind corrects me and tells me what I'm doing wrong and what I need to concentrate on and so I correct it. Being out on the water is great because all the other pressures and stress are forgotten about. I don't think about all of the homework that I need to do, or that I have all these other things that need to get done. The only things on my mind are how hard I'm pulling, my technique, and how beautiful everything is around me. Of course I only notice the beauty when I we stop to turn around because the rest of the time I'm staring straight ahead at the coxswain even though in my minds I I'm looking at my oar.
I think the fall is my favorite season, and not just because my birthday is in the fall. Football afternoons, cool, crisp evening walks with a close friend, the majestic trees as they change color, and the special smell in the air. When I was younger I loved football Saturdays, but not becuase I liked to watch the game. While my parents were inside watching the UM game I'd be outside raking leaves into a huge pile, sometimes as tall as me, under the swing set. I'd then climb from the tree house onto the top of the swing set and jump into the pile. I'd race around the yard playing with a football and all other manner of toys and sports equipment. Freshman year of high school I started going to Mission Christ and during the fellowship time Frank and I would go on long walks through the neighborhood talking about anything and everything. That was the highlight of my week freshman year. Last year in the fall was Plebe Parent Weekend and my parents, Heidi, and Matt came up for it. That was one of the best, if not the best, thing 1st semester. The only thing that would have made it even better would be if Betsy had come too, because then all of the people who I care about the most in my life would have been here.
My Mom sent me a package from home a few days ago because I wanted my teddy bear. I left him at home over summer because he'd get really dirty at Buckner. She dressed him in pants and a yellow t-shirt that she made that says "USMA Fired up C-4 Go Cowboys" on the front and has a picture of a cowboy hat. On the back it has "Class of 2005" written on it. I love it. She also sent me cookies, gummi bears, my water bottle, vitamin C drops, noise makers, and a letter with some farside cartoons. My parents are wonderful. Annah thinks so too.
Today at crew practice we went out on the water. Coach Hall had me as stroke of the Eagle even though I haven't done a lot of the practices this week cuz I've been sick. I was worried at first because this afternoon I was feeling a little worse and didnt' have much energy, but once we got out on the water and started rowing I got into the groove of things and it felt great. When I'm rowing, especially when I'm stroke, it's almost like I'm connected to the boat. I can see what my oar is doing even though I can't physically see it. I know how it reacts to the things I do with it and it becomes like a part of my body. My mind corrects me and tells me what I'm doing wrong and what I need to concentrate on and so I correct it. Being out on the water is great because all the other pressures and stress are forgotten about. I don't think about all of the homework that I need to do, or that I have all these other things that need to get done. The only things on my mind are how hard I'm pulling, my technique, and how beautiful everything is around me. Of course I only notice the beauty when I we stop to turn around because the rest of the time I'm staring straight ahead at the coxswain even though in my minds I I'm looking at my oar.
I think the fall is my favorite season, and not just because my birthday is in the fall. Football afternoons, cool, crisp evening walks with a close friend, the majestic trees as they change color, and the special smell in the air. When I was younger I loved football Saturdays, but not becuase I liked to watch the game. While my parents were inside watching the UM game I'd be outside raking leaves into a huge pile, sometimes as tall as me, under the swing set. I'd then climb from the tree house onto the top of the swing set and jump into the pile. I'd race around the yard playing with a football and all other manner of toys and sports equipment. Freshman year of high school I started going to Mission Christ and during the fellowship time Frank and I would go on long walks through the neighborhood talking about anything and everything. That was the highlight of my week freshman year. Last year in the fall was Plebe Parent Weekend and my parents, Heidi, and Matt came up for it. That was one of the best, if not the best, thing 1st semester. The only thing that would have made it even better would be if Betsy had come too, because then all of the people who I care about the most in my life would have been here.
My Mom sent me a package from home a few days ago because I wanted my teddy bear. I left him at home over summer because he'd get really dirty at Buckner. She dressed him in pants and a yellow t-shirt that she made that says "USMA Fired up C-4 Go Cowboys" on the front and has a picture of a cowboy hat. On the back it has "Class of 2005" written on it. I love it. She also sent me cookies, gummi bears, my water bottle, vitamin C drops, noise makers, and a letter with some farside cartoons. My parents are wonderful. Annah thinks so too.
Friday, August 23, 2002
Gotta love feeling like a plebe. This morning after Physics I went to get a new military ID because mine was falling apart and every time I had to show it to someone they threatened to take it away from me. The last time I was at the office that you get them was in Beast, but for some reason people expect me to remember where it is. They say " do you remember where you went in Beast. It's that place." Trying to remember where everything is was a top priority of mine at that time. Especially since I could only look straight forward and was scared to death of being hazed. Okay, so I had no clue where it was and I ended up wandering around the 4th floor of Washington Hall looking for any tiny thing that looked familiar. They were nice enough to put it right at the beginning of a hallway and so I eventually found it and got my new ID. It was then that I faced the big challenge -- getting out. Washington Hall connects to Mac Long, which is the building I live in and I didn't want to have to walk down 4 flights of stairs only to have to walk up 6 more. I figured that since I've managed to find the right exit before that I could do it again. Needless to say, I ended up walking down many a wrong hallway and having to backtrack. I ended up running into my spanish teacher, CPT Bracero, eventually and he was kind enough to lead me all the way to my exit. It was a very humbling experiance.
The medication they have me on is working really well, as long as I don't go too long without it. I'm taking 1 pennacillin 3 X day, 2-3 tylenol every 4-6 hours, 1-2 sudafed every 6 hours, and then these awesome throat lasengeze that numb my tounge and throat a little. Even with all of that I my throat is still a little soar and I'm still congested, but it's a ton better than I felt Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning. Coach won't let me row untill next week. I hope this doesn't affect my chance of making the team.
This weekend is Ring Weekend for the Firsties. This afternoon they get their rings and then tomorrow there's the banquet and the dance. My room has a view of North Area and so I'll get to see all of them with their fancy cars and beuatifully/handsomely dressed dates.
The medication they have me on is working really well, as long as I don't go too long without it. I'm taking 1 pennacillin 3 X day, 2-3 tylenol every 4-6 hours, 1-2 sudafed every 6 hours, and then these awesome throat lasengeze that numb my tounge and throat a little. Even with all of that I my throat is still a little soar and I'm still congested, but it's a ton better than I felt Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning. Coach won't let me row untill next week. I hope this doesn't affect my chance of making the team.
This weekend is Ring Weekend for the Firsties. This afternoon they get their rings and then tomorrow there's the banquet and the dance. My room has a view of North Area and so I'll get to see all of them with their fancy cars and beuatifully/handsomely dressed dates.
Thursday, August 22, 2002
Wednesday, August 21, 2002
I actually finished all of my homework and it only took me 7 focused hours today. Augh! Okay, so I did it more indepth than usual, but I had to say screw it to the vocab words for physics because I didn't want to spend another 45 min on those.
My classes: physics, calc II, economics, spanish, philosophy, and wellness.
Funny thing of the day: I was in the bathroom in Thayer right before 4th hour and was about to leave when the door opened. I'm pretty sure I saw Erich's head pop inside and then heard him in a very embarrassed voice say "oops! wrong bathroom." It was pretty funny, especially since when I went in there I double checked the name on the door to make sure that wouldn't happen to me.
Home in less then 2 weeks! YAY!!! Too bad Betsy and Heidi won't be home :( That made me really sad when I found out. I miss them.
Tryouts for varsity Crew are going on right now. There are only 20 slots and Coach Hall isn't cutting any of the Firsties. I'm pretty nervous. So is the rest of the team. There are probably 25-29 people trying out. Tomorrow I have to row a 2k and then on Thursday I have to row a 6k. Those scare me because last year I didn't have a lot of power and never broke 8 min on the erg.
Crap! I have to make Bowlby send up another RnT for the Protestant Plebe Retreat because this year they don't want team leaders on the sheet, but they didn't tell us that. It's gonna be the third one I've made him do. I also have to find time to go down and get him money for the laundry he sent out during beast and that the cleaning service lost. I also need to come up with an FCDT plan for the next few weeks for us.
Time to sleep :) Good night, Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.
My classes: physics, calc II, economics, spanish, philosophy, and wellness.
Funny thing of the day: I was in the bathroom in Thayer right before 4th hour and was about to leave when the door opened. I'm pretty sure I saw Erich's head pop inside and then heard him in a very embarrassed voice say "oops! wrong bathroom." It was pretty funny, especially since when I went in there I double checked the name on the door to make sure that wouldn't happen to me.
Home in less then 2 weeks! YAY!!! Too bad Betsy and Heidi won't be home :( That made me really sad when I found out. I miss them.
Tryouts for varsity Crew are going on right now. There are only 20 slots and Coach Hall isn't cutting any of the Firsties. I'm pretty nervous. So is the rest of the team. There are probably 25-29 people trying out. Tomorrow I have to row a 2k and then on Thursday I have to row a 6k. Those scare me because last year I didn't have a lot of power and never broke 8 min on the erg.
Crap! I have to make Bowlby send up another RnT for the Protestant Plebe Retreat because this year they don't want team leaders on the sheet, but they didn't tell us that. It's gonna be the third one I've made him do. I also have to find time to go down and get him money for the laundry he sent out during beast and that the cleaning service lost. I also need to come up with an FCDT plan for the next few weeks for us.
Time to sleep :) Good night, Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.
Tuesday, August 20, 2002
Sometimes I wonder how good of friends my friends think we are. There are a few friends that I am really close to, but I wonder how close they think we are in their opinion. I can tell almost anything to them, but do they feel like they can tell anything to me? I hold them in really high esteem and love hanging out with them. Do they feel the same way? Am I one of their best friends? So many questions.
Monday, August 19, 2002
The whole yearling class has no access to email right now. Everyone else's is fine, but ours does not work. It really sucks because classes start tomorrow and the majority of us can not get to the emails from our professors telling us the assignments and giving us the bio sheets to fill out. Tomorrow will be interesting.
I was talking to Dan online today and he said that Matt got back today. I have no clue if that's true, but I hope it is. I miss him. Hopefully he had a great time this summer.
Today at dinner I ran into Erich and so I sat with him and a few of his friends. He said he'd be at Church, but he wasn't. It was the first time that I didn't totally miss him and wish he was there. Tonight I IM'd him a few times to find out some info about classes, but didn't talk anymore after that. I sat with Brian Olsen in Church and we had a good time. He read the first lesson and I read the second. He's and interesting guy.
It's still really hot here and the 6th floor is even hotter. I can't wait for it to cool off.
Life is stressful. I'm afriad that soon I just blow up at a plebe from some stupid reason. That's one of the things that I really want to avoid -- sudden mood swings. I hate leaders like that.
Crew tryouts start tomorrow:) I'm a little scared. What if I don't make varsity? Wait, I shouldn't worry because worrying is pointless. I'll just go and do my best. Any time I start to worry I think of Matt telling me I worry to much and to stop worrying do I do stop. See, I'm working on it.
I visited Jaz today and ended up in A2. I kinda miss the company, but that's probably because I'm still getting acclimated to this one. We'll see how it is at the end of this year.
Time for sleep. YAY!!!!!!
I was talking to Dan online today and he said that Matt got back today. I have no clue if that's true, but I hope it is. I miss him. Hopefully he had a great time this summer.
Today at dinner I ran into Erich and so I sat with him and a few of his friends. He said he'd be at Church, but he wasn't. It was the first time that I didn't totally miss him and wish he was there. Tonight I IM'd him a few times to find out some info about classes, but didn't talk anymore after that. I sat with Brian Olsen in Church and we had a good time. He read the first lesson and I read the second. He's and interesting guy.
It's still really hot here and the 6th floor is even hotter. I can't wait for it to cool off.
Life is stressful. I'm afriad that soon I just blow up at a plebe from some stupid reason. That's one of the things that I really want to avoid -- sudden mood swings. I hate leaders like that.
Crew tryouts start tomorrow:) I'm a little scared. What if I don't make varsity? Wait, I shouldn't worry because worrying is pointless. I'll just go and do my best. Any time I start to worry I think of Matt telling me I worry to much and to stop worrying do I do stop. See, I'm working on it.
I visited Jaz today and ended up in A2. I kinda miss the company, but that's probably because I'm still getting acclimated to this one. We'll see how it is at the end of this year.
Time for sleep. YAY!!!!!!
Saturday, August 17, 2002
This week has kept me so busy that I haven't had time to think about guys at all. Amazing isn't it? It's probably a really good thing because I was going crazy over them during Buckner. I think I missunderstand or just plain miss a lot of the signals that they send, if they actually do send any. I am extremly niave.
I am so tired. There is a SAMI tomorrow after the acceptance day parade. It was supossed to be before the parade, but since there was a huge thunderstorm so drill was canceled. Now we have to get up for a 0545 formation tomorrow morning for drill. Last night we had to get up at 0300 for a piss test and then get up again at 0450 for the Brigade run. Yea for 4 hours of sleep. Bleagh. The only thing I'm looking forward to is going to Coach Hanlon's tomorrow to hang out, eat food, watch movies, and relax with my friends. It's gonna be great.
I am so tired. There is a SAMI tomorrow after the acceptance day parade. It was supossed to be before the parade, but since there was a huge thunderstorm so drill was canceled. Now we have to get up for a 0545 formation tomorrow morning for drill. Last night we had to get up at 0300 for a piss test and then get up again at 0450 for the Brigade run. Yea for 4 hours of sleep. Bleagh. The only thing I'm looking forward to is going to Coach Hanlon's tomorrow to hang out, eat food, watch movies, and relax with my friends. It's gonna be great.
Friday, August 16, 2002
RIght now I'm smelly, sweaty, sticky, and all manor of other unpleasent things. Being in 4th reg for parades sucks! I sure hope that crew autho's are a go again.
The new commedant is really big on PT. He loves it so much that he's us do a Brigade run tomorrow. All 4000 cadets are going to get up and go for a run down to Thayer Gate at 5:30am tomorrow morning. In addition to that my company is having a piss test probably right before that. Please, shoot me now. By the time my company starts running the first company will probably already be almost back. Augh! I need sleep, my plebe needs sleep, the corps needs sleep. A run like that in a week like this is not condusive to the motivation or phyisical prowness of the cadets here.
Well, I'm off to go see if my plebe needs help setting up his computer.
The new commedant is really big on PT. He loves it so much that he's us do a Brigade run tomorrow. All 4000 cadets are going to get up and go for a run down to Thayer Gate at 5:30am tomorrow morning. In addition to that my company is having a piss test probably right before that. Please, shoot me now. By the time my company starts running the first company will probably already be almost back. Augh! I need sleep, my plebe needs sleep, the corps needs sleep. A run like that in a week like this is not condusive to the motivation or phyisical prowness of the cadets here.
Well, I'm off to go see if my plebe needs help setting up his computer.
Thursday, August 15, 2002
Just shoot me now. Please. Some how I managed to catch a cold. My room is like a sauna because I live on the sixth floor and it's 100 degree's outside during the day. Yesterday my NC and I managed to get to the c-store and wait in line for over an hour just to pay. Then we went to pick up his M14, but didn't have his card so we had to come back in the afternoon. After lunch we went down to book issue, but the line was really long, it was going to close in 2 hours, and we had a bunch of other stuff to do so we left. We went to the health clinic to pick up his computer, then to Thayer so I could show him some of his classrooms and also pick up his printer. On our way back to the barracks we stopped and got his M14. There was about a 1/2 hour of no running around and then the ccq came by and said that we all had to go down for static drill. That lasted for 45 min. When we got back I started to search for some laundry he had sent out during beast and never gotten back. That meant going down to the basement of Mac, back up to the 6th floor, back down again, and then over to CGR. I didn't find it. It was dinner time after that and after dinner there was a regimental briefing in Robinson. I let him sit with his friends but that meant that he had to walk back on his own. While I was walking back I was really nervous about that because I was afriad he'd get lost or get stopped and hazed by somebody. Everything turned out fine. There were duties after the briefing, but I mostly stayed in my room because most of the cows and firsties were gone and I didn't feel like being a haze. It was great when I finally got to take a shower around 10pm because I was so sweaty and smelly. It is so hot here that everyone breaks out in a sweat even when they're sitting doing nothing at all. Now I'm onto another day of running around. My main focus is getting his books and computer. I hope that happens.
Wednesday, August 14, 2002
Jason took all of the New Cadets that needed to go to sick call there this morning at 6:00am. Bowlby had to go because he has a rather large and painful blister on his foot. Right now it's 8:20 and their still not back. It makes me wonder how the New Cadets were treated during beast this year. I hope that he's okay, but I expect that he'll be on at least soft shoe profile for the next little while. Today we have a busy day of getting his books, drawing his M14, and going to the C-store. On a normal day those things would all together take only 1-2 hours, but since all of the New Cadets have to do them today the lines are horrendous. It doesn't help that I have no clue when he'll be back from sick call and I can't really start on any of the things without him. I'm also worrried that he won't get breakfast. They usually have some sort of breakfast for normal sick call, but since he went to the one at Arvin Gym for blisters I don't know if he'll get it. I brought back a few pieces of fruit from breakfast and so if all else fails he can have those and a few of my cliff bars.
One standard that I want to hold myself to this year is to not ask more of my plebe than I ask of myself. If their shoes have to be shiny, mine must be shinier. If I want them to recite some piece of knowledge than I must know it perfectly myself. It's easy to say "hey, they're a plebe and I'm not. I don't have to do that." But a good leader doesn't do that. A good leader upholds the standard in their subordinates and themselves. It's hard to know how much I can ask of them, but I think it'll be a good handrail for me to say that if I expect them to do something I must also do it, or have the ability to do it. Hopefully my plebe won't be too ate up because I don't want to be a haze. I want to lead by example. Last year I think Schwetz was an awesome team leader them more I think about it. I've learned a lot from him of how to be a good team leader and am trying to do some of the things he did. For example, for now at least Bowlby has to report everytime I knock on the door because it's good practice and sets the tone for the relationship. After I come in the room, however, I allow him and his roommate to relax and continue on with what they were doing. In a few hours I wont' have him report to me anymore when I come in the room because it takes way to much time and I have to come to his room really often to tell him stuff.
Now I have to go tell my plebe a frago about min. gotta love it.
Now I have to go tell my plebe a frago about min. gotta love it.
Today I got my plebe - New Cadet Bowlby. I feel as though I've given birth and am now raising a child. If he needs to go somewhere I have to go with him. While he's setting up his room I have to check up on him every 15 minutes. When he screws up I have to correct him. Thankfully, unless he really screws up I don't have to haze him. I'm responsible for his every action, or lack there of. It's so weird to walk into his room and have him and his roommate report and greet me at parade rest. It was really weird when we went to turn in his rifle for me to walk down the row of plebes who were all shouting "Beat Holy Cross Corporal" and then realize that they weren't greeting someone behind me, they were greeting me. I was about halfway through the line when I finaly realized that.
It's great being on the other side of things finaly, but it's a lot more work. Right now I have a hard time making myself want to correct a plebe who's greeted incorrectly or something. They all look so scared and timid. I was just like that last year. This year I have to exude self-confidence and take charge. It's hard.
It's now time to go check up on him again.
It's great being on the other side of things finaly, but it's a lot more work. Right now I have a hard time making myself want to correct a plebe who's greeted incorrectly or something. They all look so scared and timid. I was just like that last year. This year I have to exude self-confidence and take charge. It's hard.
It's now time to go check up on him again.
Tuesday, August 13, 2002
I have so much to say and no time to spend saying it. Right now I really should be in bed because I've been up since 4:30 this morning and have to get up at 6:30 tomorrow. It's gonna be a very busy week, but at least I'm not a new cadet. I'm really looking forward to the experiance of being a leader. My guess is that I'll mature a lot.
My room is a pit right now. My roommates and I are still in the process of unpacking and so everything, especially my stuff, is thrown all over the place. It has to look perfect by tomorrow morning. HAH! I also have to shine my boots really well and iron and starch my BDU's. It's gonna be a long night. At least I get my plebe tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to being a team leader. It's gonna be a ton of work, but the leadership experince is gonna be awesome. All summer my chain of command has told us to think of the first words we're gonna say to them. Mine are going to be "follow me." It has meaning on more than one level.
Oops. gotta go. formation time.
Oops. gotta go. formation time.
Monday, August 12, 2002
I'm back at school after 7 weeks of Camp Buckner. Later when I have more time I'll talk about all the cool stuff and some of the not so cool stuff that I did there. This morning we had to get up at 4:30am to finish up packing our stuff. Then we did a 7 mile run back to West Point starting at 7:03am. We got there at 8:15am and I proccedded to get all of my crap that I had loaded into my parents van. In the process I forgot to eat breakfast and didn't drink enough water and so by lunch I felt like crap. You try running 7 miles and then lugging up 4 bags huge bags, a full ruck sack, 2 heavy foot lockers, and a computer and printer to the sixth floor of a building. It sucks! Tomorrow I get my plebe so I have to be all moved in today. I'm about to start unpacking some more and go pick up my M14. I hate that weapon. It's a torture device used in parades. Oh well. That's life. Now I must get back to work. Blah.
Friday, June 21, 2002
I really should be in bed right now because I have to get up in a few short hours in order to be out the door at 3:25am and on my way back to West Point and Camp Buckner for the summer. It's been great being home and seeing my family and friends, relaxing, sleeping in, going to movies, and forgetting about the pressures of school. The worst part of being home is the day before I leave. The pit in my stomach threatens to consume my whole body and I feel very depressed the whole today. Today was no different, but a few things made it remarkably better.
The first was Matt calling me and us going out to lunch. He has the remarkable ability of cheering me up no matter what without even knowing it or trying. This can be good, but also kinda of annoying, in a good way, when I want to call him and wallow in my sorrow and depression and can't because I feel better. It was great to just sit and talk to him for a while and forget about the pit in my stomach. I'm gonna miss him.
Steph and I then went kayaking on the Huron River. It was really hot out and so we splashed eachother didn't care about all the polution in the water. I wouldn't be suprised if we each grow and extra eye or ear in the next month.
Besty came over for dinner and my dad grilled some chicken which tasted very good. It was enjoyable to have the whole family sitting at the table talking and laughing one last time before I leave. My Grandma stopped by for a few minutes to say goodbye to me and I was able to solve the mystery of how to lock the doors to her new car from the inside. You have to press the lock button twice. Later in the eveing the whole family watched my Dad set off some fireworks my Mom had bought at the store today. It reminded me of when I was little and we used to do that around the 4th of July. Good stuff.
I am suprised at the amount of stuff I have to take back with me. I don't know how I'm going to fit all of it into my wall locker at Buckner. Molly is probably going to laugh at me tomorrow when I show up at her house tomorrow morning with 3 huge bags. Becki stopped by tonight and we talked while I finished packing. We were supposed to hang out today but unfortunatly that didn't happen. I'm glad that she came over tonight.
I'm looking forward to seeing Jasmin, Ez, Erich, and everybody else again. This evening I made little loaves of banana bread to take back with me and give to Jasmin. I hope she likes them.
Now I must go and begin my 6-7 week hiatus from this and the computer all together. Since I won't have this to use to vent and transcribe my thoughts on I'm planning on taking up letter writing again. Gotta love the old pen and paper.
Talk to you later. Good night.
The first was Matt calling me and us going out to lunch. He has the remarkable ability of cheering me up no matter what without even knowing it or trying. This can be good, but also kinda of annoying, in a good way, when I want to call him and wallow in my sorrow and depression and can't because I feel better. It was great to just sit and talk to him for a while and forget about the pit in my stomach. I'm gonna miss him.
Steph and I then went kayaking on the Huron River. It was really hot out and so we splashed eachother didn't care about all the polution in the water. I wouldn't be suprised if we each grow and extra eye or ear in the next month.
Besty came over for dinner and my dad grilled some chicken which tasted very good. It was enjoyable to have the whole family sitting at the table talking and laughing one last time before I leave. My Grandma stopped by for a few minutes to say goodbye to me and I was able to solve the mystery of how to lock the doors to her new car from the inside. You have to press the lock button twice. Later in the eveing the whole family watched my Dad set off some fireworks my Mom had bought at the store today. It reminded me of when I was little and we used to do that around the 4th of July. Good stuff.
I am suprised at the amount of stuff I have to take back with me. I don't know how I'm going to fit all of it into my wall locker at Buckner. Molly is probably going to laugh at me tomorrow when I show up at her house tomorrow morning with 3 huge bags. Becki stopped by tonight and we talked while I finished packing. We were supposed to hang out today but unfortunatly that didn't happen. I'm glad that she came over tonight.
I'm looking forward to seeing Jasmin, Ez, Erich, and everybody else again. This evening I made little loaves of banana bread to take back with me and give to Jasmin. I hope she likes them.
Now I must go and begin my 6-7 week hiatus from this and the computer all together. Since I won't have this to use to vent and transcribe my thoughts on I'm planning on taking up letter writing again. Gotta love the old pen and paper.
Talk to you later. Good night.
Thursday, June 20, 2002
Ceder Point was fun, especially because I didn't have to pay for it. I started out by hanging out with Anna, James, Mike, Dan, and Greg and we went on the Power Tower, Wicked Twister, and Gemini before lunch. The Wicked Twister was a lot better than I thought it would be. Definetly a good ride. After lunch Anna, Aaron, and Mr. Hart and I went on the Raptor, Magnum and Gemini. Mr Hart left us when we went on the Gemini and after that we went on the Millenium Force. That was the longest line of the day at 1.5-2 hours. All the other lines were under 45 min. It was almost time to meet up again with the group after the Millenium Force, but we had a little time to waste so we rode the carasoul twice. Anna and I were going to take Beth and her friend on the Raptor after dinner but there was some miscommunication and Anna and I ended up riding it alone. The lines were short, the coasters were fun, and the weather was great. It was a good day to be at Ceder Point. I still kinda feel like I'm on a roller coaster even though I'm sitting at the computer typing. It's kinda cool.
This is my last full night at home :( Friday I have to be at Molly's house at 4am. Summer went by so fast! Tomorrow I have a ton o' crap to do like working out, shopping, laundry, and packing. I'm also hoping to go kyakying with Steph, hang out with Matt, and do something with Becki. Crap. If only I could slow down time. I managed to do most of the things that I wanted to do this summer while I was home which is good, but I'm not ready to leave and go back to West Point. I know I was complaining earlier about how I miss West Point, and I do miss my friends, but I also like my freedom. I really shouldn't complain about haveing to go back. This is the life I choose and now I have to deal with it. This is one of the many sacrifices. But I'm not ready to say goodbye to everyone. I hate that part. The final hug that I wish would last for forever but never does makes me want to cry. In fact, sometimes I do cry when I think about having to say good bye to the people who are the specialist to me. Or should that be most special. hmmm... I hate the part where I have to leave.
This is my last full night at home :( Friday I have to be at Molly's house at 4am. Summer went by so fast! Tomorrow I have a ton o' crap to do like working out, shopping, laundry, and packing. I'm also hoping to go kyakying with Steph, hang out with Matt, and do something with Becki. Crap. If only I could slow down time. I managed to do most of the things that I wanted to do this summer while I was home which is good, but I'm not ready to leave and go back to West Point. I know I was complaining earlier about how I miss West Point, and I do miss my friends, but I also like my freedom. I really shouldn't complain about haveing to go back. This is the life I choose and now I have to deal with it. This is one of the many sacrifices. But I'm not ready to say goodbye to everyone. I hate that part. The final hug that I wish would last for forever but never does makes me want to cry. In fact, sometimes I do cry when I think about having to say good bye to the people who are the specialist to me. Or should that be most special. hmmm... I hate the part where I have to leave.
Wednesday, June 19, 2002
There is a delicate art to making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Growing up I learned this art from watching my mom make them for my sisters and I and then trying to perfect it later on in life when I made my own sandwichs. It is important to put peanut butter on both slices of bread in order to prevent the jelly from soaking through a slice and making it all mushy. The peanut butter has to cover the whole slice evenly and the coating does not have to be very thick. The jelly goes on only once slice of bread but must also coat it evenly. You do not need goobs of peanut butter or jelly, just a smooth coating of each so that neither taste masks the other. You then carefully cover the jellied slice with the unjellied slice. The way you cut it does not appear to affect the tast, but I've found a diaginol cut across the sandwich to be more asthetically appealing than a cut down the middle. If I'm in a hurry I don't bother with cutting the sandwich. In high school I'd heard rumors of people only putting peanut butter on one side of the bread, but for the most part I dismissed them as hearsay and assumed that everyone made their sandwichs the way I did. It was therefore shocking to me to arive at West Point during Beast and to find that people were scooping huge goobs of peanut butter out of the jar and then only putting it on one slice. They would then drown the other slice in mounds of jelly and smash the two pieces together. I was appalled. Has no one taught them the art of the sandwich. My mission in life is clear. The people need to know and I will teach them!
And now on to life.
Today I was really bored and none of my friends were free so I sat around the house, played with the dogs, and watched the guys doing construction. I couldn't stare at them and admire their shirtless bodies and muscles because I've known most of them since I was little and that just seems wrong. If only my parents would hire people I didn't know. Oh well. Mark called in the afternoon and asked if I wanted to go out tonight. The lack of plans and tremendous bordem I felt prompted me to very quickly say yes. After that I proccedded to go on a 2.5 mile run. It actually wasn't that bad, but I should have jogged longer. Anyway, Mark and I went out for icecream and then drove to a park in the middle of the city and walked around a bit. We ended up at this bench and it was so cool because there wasn't a cloud in the sky, no buildings were visiable, and everywhere you looked it was just nature stuff. It was really beautiful. We sat there and talked about flying cars, life on mars, and stuff like that. Weird conversation but very enjoyable. After that we went and saw Scooby-Do the movie. It was very funny, but I think it would scare little kids too much. I think my cousins, who love Scooby-Do, should wait a few years before they see it or else they'll have nightmares. Now I'm off to bed so I can get up somewhat early and go to Ceder Point. Yippeeeeeee:)
And now on to life.
Today I was really bored and none of my friends were free so I sat around the house, played with the dogs, and watched the guys doing construction. I couldn't stare at them and admire their shirtless bodies and muscles because I've known most of them since I was little and that just seems wrong. If only my parents would hire people I didn't know. Oh well. Mark called in the afternoon and asked if I wanted to go out tonight. The lack of plans and tremendous bordem I felt prompted me to very quickly say yes. After that I proccedded to go on a 2.5 mile run. It actually wasn't that bad, but I should have jogged longer. Anyway, Mark and I went out for icecream and then drove to a park in the middle of the city and walked around a bit. We ended up at this bench and it was so cool because there wasn't a cloud in the sky, no buildings were visiable, and everywhere you looked it was just nature stuff. It was really beautiful. We sat there and talked about flying cars, life on mars, and stuff like that. Weird conversation but very enjoyable. After that we went and saw Scooby-Do the movie. It was very funny, but I think it would scare little kids too much. I think my cousins, who love Scooby-Do, should wait a few years before they see it or else they'll have nightmares. Now I'm off to bed so I can get up somewhat early and go to Ceder Point. Yippeeeeeee:)
Tuesday, June 18, 2002
Yesterday as I was driving to the fitness center it hit me that I am leaving on Friday. It made me real depressed which hurt my workout. Driving home I was even more depressed because I realized I'm out of shape and not ready for Buckner, I have to leave Friday and won't be back untill Labor Day or Thanksgiving, and I started to think about Erich. I don't think he likes me, we don't talk that much, I don't know him very well, and crap like that. While I was thinking about all of that and feeling worse and worse by the minute the song The Middle by Jimmy Eat World came on the radio.
hey don't write yourself off yet
it's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
just try your best
try everything you can
and don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away
it just takes some time
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be all right X2
hey you know they're all the same
you know you're doing better on your own so don't buy in
live right now
just be yourself
it doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else
it just takes some time
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be all right X2
do your best
do everything you can
don't you worry what their bitter hearts are going to say
The lyrics seemed to apply to me a lot right then and they were just what I needed.
hey don't write yourself off yet
it's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
just try your best
try everything you can
and don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away
it just takes some time
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be all right X2
hey you know they're all the same
you know you're doing better on your own so don't buy in
live right now
just be yourself
it doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else
it just takes some time
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be all right X2
do your best
do everything you can
don't you worry what their bitter hearts are going to say
The lyrics seemed to apply to me a lot right then and they were just what I needed.
Today I woke up to the sound of my alarm at 9:08am and then procceded to go back to sleep. I was having a pleasent dream a little while later when it was interupted by a loud banging. At first I thought it was my dad working on the new laundry room he's putting in my parent's bedroom, but as I became more awake I realized it was coming from the roof. I guess we're having the roof redone.
I finally made it back to the fitness center today to work out. Because there's an APFT on Saturday I decided to try a practice one today. I managed 32 pushups and 52 situps in the respective two minute times. I really need to work on the situps. The 2-mile run didn't happen because I got bored on the treadmill and couldn't figure out a route to run. Pray for a thunderstorm around 5am that lasts until 7am. It will only postpone the APFT for another day, but that'll prevent one more day of PT.
My Grandma invited my family over for dinner today and Aunt Sue, Isaac and Anna were there. I became a human jungle gym for them. After dinner my dad and I headed out to Dexter to go fishing and a pond at one of my dad's coworkers new house. Frank went with us. He caught 13 or 14 fish while I only caught 6. The fish were kinda small and we of course threw them all back and overall it was fun.
I finally made it back to the fitness center today to work out. Because there's an APFT on Saturday I decided to try a practice one today. I managed 32 pushups and 52 situps in the respective two minute times. I really need to work on the situps. The 2-mile run didn't happen because I got bored on the treadmill and couldn't figure out a route to run. Pray for a thunderstorm around 5am that lasts until 7am. It will only postpone the APFT for another day, but that'll prevent one more day of PT.
My Grandma invited my family over for dinner today and Aunt Sue, Isaac and Anna were there. I became a human jungle gym for them. After dinner my dad and I headed out to Dexter to go fishing and a pond at one of my dad's coworkers new house. Frank went with us. He caught 13 or 14 fish while I only caught 6. The fish were kinda small and we of course threw them all back and overall it was fun.
Monday, June 17, 2002
Time for some more late night writing. Up untill the end of junior year of high school I told everybody to forget anything I said or wrote after 11pm. It was after 11pm that I would talk to Andrew, the guy I liked in 10th grade, and would end up saying really stupid stuff.
There's a show about West Point on the Travel Channel right now. I've seen a couple of my friends on it so far. I kinda want to watch it to see if I know anyone else, but I'm not that interested in hearing about all the accomplishments of the graduates and I'd rather listen to music and type. I have such tough choices in my life. Wow! Gen. Custer graduated last in his class from West Point. There is hope for me! Hey, they just showed Erich's old company in the sandhurst competition, but it was from last year's and he wasn't on that team. Oh well. Okay, I've seen enough. It's just repeating the same stuff every show about West Point says.
Heidi and I went to see the Bourne Identity tonight at Quality 16. I thought it was a pretty good movie, but she didn't like it too much because it didn't go along with the book. We stopped at Meijer after it was over to try and buy a copy of the book for me, but they didn't have one. I wish I could be like the main character, not in his proffession, but in knowing many languages fluently, being great at martial arts, able to run fast and far, and all that stuff. There were a lot of high schoolers there. It's really easy to spot them. I didn't realize that until I came home from school at Christmas. Everyone looks so young. I bet I'll be saying that about college students in a few years.
I talked to Erich a little today on IM. It was nice to talk to him again, but not much was said. Everything good takes time. Five days till I see him. No, I'm not counting, but Jasmin is counting the days until Buckner starts. Gotta love roommates:)
It was great seeing Matt today. I didn't realize how much I miss actually talking to him in person. I really hope I can hang out with him again before I leave.
Tomorrow, well now it's today, my Dad and I are probably going to go fishing. Today, or yesterday if you want to get technical, I went fishing and caugh 2 trees and almost caught my dad's car. Okay, I was just practicing casting in front of my house. I sucked so bad at first. My dad would do it perfectly and then go inside and I would try. The line would get all tangled up and everthing would be messed up. Finally I managed to get better after my Dad figured out I had put too much line on the spool. What a smart man. Before I came home I invited Frank to go fishing with us, but now I kinda wish I were going alone with my Dad, but I'm not about to go back on the invitation. Perhaps it will be more fun with him there. I haven't talked to him since we went out for lunch 1.5 weeks ago.
Off to bed I go and it's not even 2am yet. Amazing!
There's a show about West Point on the Travel Channel right now. I've seen a couple of my friends on it so far. I kinda want to watch it to see if I know anyone else, but I'm not that interested in hearing about all the accomplishments of the graduates and I'd rather listen to music and type. I have such tough choices in my life. Wow! Gen. Custer graduated last in his class from West Point. There is hope for me! Hey, they just showed Erich's old company in the sandhurst competition, but it was from last year's and he wasn't on that team. Oh well. Okay, I've seen enough. It's just repeating the same stuff every show about West Point says.
Heidi and I went to see the Bourne Identity tonight at Quality 16. I thought it was a pretty good movie, but she didn't like it too much because it didn't go along with the book. We stopped at Meijer after it was over to try and buy a copy of the book for me, but they didn't have one. I wish I could be like the main character, not in his proffession, but in knowing many languages fluently, being great at martial arts, able to run fast and far, and all that stuff. There were a lot of high schoolers there. It's really easy to spot them. I didn't realize that until I came home from school at Christmas. Everyone looks so young. I bet I'll be saying that about college students in a few years.
I talked to Erich a little today on IM. It was nice to talk to him again, but not much was said. Everything good takes time. Five days till I see him. No, I'm not counting, but Jasmin is counting the days until Buckner starts. Gotta love roommates:)
It was great seeing Matt today. I didn't realize how much I miss actually talking to him in person. I really hope I can hang out with him again before I leave.
Tomorrow, well now it's today, my Dad and I are probably going to go fishing. Today, or yesterday if you want to get technical, I went fishing and caugh 2 trees and almost caught my dad's car. Okay, I was just practicing casting in front of my house. I sucked so bad at first. My dad would do it perfectly and then go inside and I would try. The line would get all tangled up and everthing would be messed up. Finally I managed to get better after my Dad figured out I had put too much line on the spool. What a smart man. Before I came home I invited Frank to go fishing with us, but now I kinda wish I were going alone with my Dad, but I'm not about to go back on the invitation. Perhaps it will be more fun with him there. I haven't talked to him since we went out for lunch 1.5 weeks ago.
Off to bed I go and it's not even 2am yet. Amazing!
Sunday, June 16, 2002
I think I have the comments working now which is good.
I came home from the Church picnic and realized I was really tired and wanted to take a nap. I also wanted to read a book because I haven't had a chance to do a lot of reading yet. I found two books and started to read them while I laid in bed and after a while I decided to go to sleep. Of course I couldn't fall asleep. It was just my luck that I was no longer tired and so now I'm up and looking for something to do. Hmm, food, tv, or store. Tough choice.
Yesterday I went over to the big softball tournament and saw some of my teammates from highschool, a few parents, and my old coachs. Everyone wanted to know how school was going and all that stuff. It gets really boring repeating myself two million times. Maybe I should just tape a sign to myself that answers all the questions everyone asks:
"Do you like it there? Yes, School is great and I like it there. No, I hate it and would rather die than go back. j/k:) Is it hard? Yes, it is hard but that's okay. Actually, it's the easiest school in the world. We sit around and do nothing all day wasting tax payers money. What do you think? Did you like your roommates? Yes, I liked my roommates and made some great friends. Are they going to be your roommates next year? No, because we're in different companies. Do you get to choose your roommates? SometimesAre you on summer break now? Yes, I'm have a summer break but I'm only home for 20 days. Stop reminding me that my break is almost overAre you enjoying your break? Yes. No, I hate it and never want to have another break. Are you an idiot? What are you doing then? I'm going to Camp Buckner. Buck-Nam. woohoo. i'm going to be living in a model of a POW camp for 6 weeks. Where is that? Down the road from West Point. What do you do there? Small squad tactics training along with going to Fort Knox for a week and living out in the woods for a week. Get up way to early and do some grueling PT, sleep with the insects, and live like prisoners of war. Are you going to drive tanks? No, but at Fort Knox I'm going to ride in them. Do you actually think that they'd just let all of us drive tanks around? Do you get to shoot guns? I'll have an M16A2 and mostly be firing blanks. Please don't be stupid enought to ask me if we're firing live rounds at each other. Sounds fun. I guess. Just what I wanted to do this summer instead of sleep in late, hang out with friends at home, watch tv and use the computer. Have a good summer. You too." ask me any more questions and I'll scream.
That's a little to much for a sign I guess. Perhaps I should just print it out on pieces of paper and hand them out to everyone. The italics are just my thoughts and wouldn't be printed on the paper. I'm really not this bitter, but I needed to vent a little.
I came home from the Church picnic and realized I was really tired and wanted to take a nap. I also wanted to read a book because I haven't had a chance to do a lot of reading yet. I found two books and started to read them while I laid in bed and after a while I decided to go to sleep. Of course I couldn't fall asleep. It was just my luck that I was no longer tired and so now I'm up and looking for something to do. Hmm, food, tv, or store. Tough choice.
Yesterday I went over to the big softball tournament and saw some of my teammates from highschool, a few parents, and my old coachs. Everyone wanted to know how school was going and all that stuff. It gets really boring repeating myself two million times. Maybe I should just tape a sign to myself that answers all the questions everyone asks:
"Do you like it there? Yes, School is great and I like it there. No, I hate it and would rather die than go back. j/k:) Is it hard? Yes, it is hard but that's okay. Actually, it's the easiest school in the world. We sit around and do nothing all day wasting tax payers money. What do you think? Did you like your roommates? Yes, I liked my roommates and made some great friends. Are they going to be your roommates next year? No, because we're in different companies. Do you get to choose your roommates? SometimesAre you on summer break now? Yes, I'm have a summer break but I'm only home for 20 days. Stop reminding me that my break is almost overAre you enjoying your break? Yes. No, I hate it and never want to have another break. Are you an idiot? What are you doing then? I'm going to Camp Buckner. Buck-Nam. woohoo. i'm going to be living in a model of a POW camp for 6 weeks. Where is that? Down the road from West Point. What do you do there? Small squad tactics training along with going to Fort Knox for a week and living out in the woods for a week. Get up way to early and do some grueling PT, sleep with the insects, and live like prisoners of war. Are you going to drive tanks? No, but at Fort Knox I'm going to ride in them. Do you actually think that they'd just let all of us drive tanks around? Do you get to shoot guns? I'll have an M16A2 and mostly be firing blanks. Please don't be stupid enought to ask me if we're firing live rounds at each other. Sounds fun. I guess. Just what I wanted to do this summer instead of sleep in late, hang out with friends at home, watch tv and use the computer. Have a good summer. You too." ask me any more questions and I'll scream.
That's a little to much for a sign I guess. Perhaps I should just print it out on pieces of paper and hand them out to everyone. The italics are just my thoughts and wouldn't be printed on the paper. I'm really not this bitter, but I needed to vent a little.
Saturday, June 15, 2002
Sometimes I have so much stuff going through my head and I want to write it all down and tell it to someone, but then when I get the chance to I don't remember any of it. Funny how that works out. This summer I'm not going to have access to a computer for at least six weeks so I'm probably going to start writing letters again. Last summer I realized how much I like to write. I'm not a writer -- in fact I suck at writing -- but I like to get my thoughts out. I also like the idea that someone might read them. That's not what's importnant to me, but I've found it helps me write.
One of the things that I want is to feel special in someones eyes. That is also one of the hardest things for me to do for a person. The main thing that I want out of a relationship is to feel special, yet a relationship is not about reciving, it's about giving. I have a hard time letting myself try to make someone feel like they are special. I don't like that about myself. It's kinda hard to explain, but I'm going to try anyways. For example, if I bake someone bread and give it to them I'll deny that I did it just for them and say that I made bread for a number of my friends -- which I probably would do so that I could say that, but the main reason I made the bread was to give it to that one person. Okay, that's not a great example, but just hang in there. I've never had a single best friend, but I've had many really close friends. I'm afriad I'll get annoying and so after a while I back off from a friend and give them some space. I only call a friend once a week to talk. That's changed a tiny bit the past two years, but not a lot. Here's anothe example of what I'm trying to get at. Teresa and I went around last night to Bill, Matt, and Becki's respective houses and did different things to their houses for fun. I can only do that stuff to people that I'm comfertable with and how I'm good friends with, for the most part. Because that's the case I'm more apt to avoid them afterwords if they find out it was me because to me it's like I'm saying "Hey, I like being your friend and this is one way of me trying to make you feel special" in a sense. That puts me in a position of feeling vulnerable and I hate feeling vulnerable. In order to try and protect myself I therefore back off.
It was not until just now that I came to realize how much I hate feeling vulnerable. Side note: I'm analyzing stuff way too much right now because it's late and I'm tried, but this is fun and so I'm going to keep doing it. Oh, and if I'm spelling vulnerable wrong or anything, I don't care. Speaking in groups of people makes me feel vulnerable, so I avoid it. I don't ask questions in class very often because that too makes me feel that way. When I started this blog I felt that way because I'm sharing a part of myself and there's the possiblity that someone might actually read it. I almost stopped writing in here because of it, but finally I told myself that I was doing this for myself and it doesn't matter if other people read it because I'm not going to care what they think. I'm not going to let it bother me. This sounds stupid, but in middle school and the beginnign of high school I hated hugs because I was afraid that someone would think that I hugged to hard, or too long, or not long enough, or some crap like that. Once again, hugs made me feel vulnerable. It took me a while to get over that. There are many other things that have made me and still do make me feel vulnerable and so I try my best to protect myself. Some of the things I need to overcome and I hope that I do eventually.
One of the things that I want is to feel special in someones eyes. That is also one of the hardest things for me to do for a person. The main thing that I want out of a relationship is to feel special, yet a relationship is not about reciving, it's about giving. I have a hard time letting myself try to make someone feel like they are special. I don't like that about myself. It's kinda hard to explain, but I'm going to try anyways. For example, if I bake someone bread and give it to them I'll deny that I did it just for them and say that I made bread for a number of my friends -- which I probably would do so that I could say that, but the main reason I made the bread was to give it to that one person. Okay, that's not a great example, but just hang in there. I've never had a single best friend, but I've had many really close friends. I'm afriad I'll get annoying and so after a while I back off from a friend and give them some space. I only call a friend once a week to talk. That's changed a tiny bit the past two years, but not a lot. Here's anothe example of what I'm trying to get at. Teresa and I went around last night to Bill, Matt, and Becki's respective houses and did different things to their houses for fun. I can only do that stuff to people that I'm comfertable with and how I'm good friends with, for the most part. Because that's the case I'm more apt to avoid them afterwords if they find out it was me because to me it's like I'm saying "Hey, I like being your friend and this is one way of me trying to make you feel special" in a sense. That puts me in a position of feeling vulnerable and I hate feeling vulnerable. In order to try and protect myself I therefore back off.
It was not until just now that I came to realize how much I hate feeling vulnerable. Side note: I'm analyzing stuff way too much right now because it's late and I'm tried, but this is fun and so I'm going to keep doing it. Oh, and if I'm spelling vulnerable wrong or anything, I don't care. Speaking in groups of people makes me feel vulnerable, so I avoid it. I don't ask questions in class very often because that too makes me feel that way. When I started this blog I felt that way because I'm sharing a part of myself and there's the possiblity that someone might actually read it. I almost stopped writing in here because of it, but finally I told myself that I was doing this for myself and it doesn't matter if other people read it because I'm not going to care what they think. I'm not going to let it bother me. This sounds stupid, but in middle school and the beginnign of high school I hated hugs because I was afraid that someone would think that I hugged to hard, or too long, or not long enough, or some crap like that. Once again, hugs made me feel vulnerable. It took me a while to get over that. There are many other things that have made me and still do make me feel vulnerable and so I try my best to protect myself. Some of the things I need to overcome and I hope that I do eventually.
Every night I go to bed and say to myself that tomorrow I'll go to bed earlier so that I don't sleep in as late, but it hasn't happened yet. I don't like sleeping in real late because it makes me feel like I've wasted part of my day. I also like the fresh, bright feeling that only early morning can provide. That doesn't mean that I like to get up at 5am however. I'm not looking forward to getting back to school and getting up at 5 for some PT everyday. Somehow I'll survive, I hope.
Today I went out in search of a kite. I love flying kites and at West Point there are some great places to fly them, but I never had one to fly. Every windy day I wished I had one and so I want to make it a point to fly a kite while I'm home. It's fun to watch them go so high up in the sky and feel the force of the wind as the kite tugs on the string. I searched for them at Meijer and at Target, but neither store carried them. It wasn't a total lose going to those stores because I got to spend time in the toy department. I'm still a little kid at heart and I love toys. While I was in NYC I made my friends go with my to the big toy stores there. The biggest one around here is TOYS R US and so that's where I went next in my search for a kite. I wanted to play with all the toys that I saw, but there were a lot of adults around and it would have looked pretty weird. The kite selection consisted of a whopping two kites. One was $4.99 and the other was $9.99. I went with the more expensive one because it seemed a little higher quality. It has an ET theme with a hole in the center where ET's spaceship goes and spins. I was hoping to fly it but a thunderstorm prevented that from happening.
I was out with Steph this evening and we went to pick up a pizza and ran into Tara. I haven't seen her since junior year and didn't recognize her at first. She hasn't changed:)
Today I went out in search of a kite. I love flying kites and at West Point there are some great places to fly them, but I never had one to fly. Every windy day I wished I had one and so I want to make it a point to fly a kite while I'm home. It's fun to watch them go so high up in the sky and feel the force of the wind as the kite tugs on the string. I searched for them at Meijer and at Target, but neither store carried them. It wasn't a total lose going to those stores because I got to spend time in the toy department. I'm still a little kid at heart and I love toys. While I was in NYC I made my friends go with my to the big toy stores there. The biggest one around here is TOYS R US and so that's where I went next in my search for a kite. I wanted to play with all the toys that I saw, but there were a lot of adults around and it would have looked pretty weird. The kite selection consisted of a whopping two kites. One was $4.99 and the other was $9.99. I went with the more expensive one because it seemed a little higher quality. It has an ET theme with a hole in the center where ET's spaceship goes and spins. I was hoping to fly it but a thunderstorm prevented that from happening.
I was out with Steph this evening and we went to pick up a pizza and ran into Tara. I haven't seen her since junior year and didn't recognize her at first. She hasn't changed:)
Yesterday Teresa came over around 1pm and we went to 7 Eleven to get slurpies and then to the park to play on the playground and swings. I haven't been on a swing in the longest time and it was fun to do it again. I tried to kick my sandles off to see how far they'd go, but instead of going out very far they went up really far and then came almost staight down. After that we went and explored the creek and searched for the frogs that kept evading us by jumping in the water and swimming under the creek bank before we saw them. We did find a crayfish skeleton however.
The Red Wings game was awesome. Becki invited me to Dorian's house to watch the game with some other people. The house was really big and had a lot of cool new stuff in it. I played pool with a few of the guys in teams of two. My team was really close to winning, but we didn't. It was great whent the Red Wings won the Stanley Cup. After that I drove Amy home. She was one of my best friends from when I was born all through high school, but I didn't get a chance to see her a lot this year.
About Matt. Of course I know where he lives. I've found that if I go to anyone's house at least once I usually remember where it is. It doesn't matter who. I thought that everyone was like that, but I guess not. Amy can't even remember my phone number when I've only been gone for one year, yet I can still remember the phone numbers of my friends from middle school and elementry school. Now if I could just remember all the knowledge I'm supposed to know at West Point.
Oh, and the bike riding to Dexter has nothing to do with Matt. It's a beautiful place and I have many friends who live there. It's a nice place to ride to because it's far enough away to be a little challenging, but not too far that I have to call home and have someone get me. Only riding around the city was getting boring because I'd gone everywhere. I did stop by my Grandma's house, but she wasn't home. For some reason, ever since I was little, I've liked going West. Going East feels like I'm losing my freedom, but when I go West I feel more free. That's why when I go on bike rides I only ride West until I have to turn around and head home. I'm weird, but that's what makes me me.
The Red Wings game was awesome. Becki invited me to Dorian's house to watch the game with some other people. The house was really big and had a lot of cool new stuff in it. I played pool with a few of the guys in teams of two. My team was really close to winning, but we didn't. It was great whent the Red Wings won the Stanley Cup. After that I drove Amy home. She was one of my best friends from when I was born all through high school, but I didn't get a chance to see her a lot this year.
About Matt. Of course I know where he lives. I've found that if I go to anyone's house at least once I usually remember where it is. It doesn't matter who. I thought that everyone was like that, but I guess not. Amy can't even remember my phone number when I've only been gone for one year, yet I can still remember the phone numbers of my friends from middle school and elementry school. Now if I could just remember all the knowledge I'm supposed to know at West Point.
Oh, and the bike riding to Dexter has nothing to do with Matt. It's a beautiful place and I have many friends who live there. It's a nice place to ride to because it's far enough away to be a little challenging, but not too far that I have to call home and have someone get me. Only riding around the city was getting boring because I'd gone everywhere. I did stop by my Grandma's house, but she wasn't home. For some reason, ever since I was little, I've liked going West. Going East feels like I'm losing my freedom, but when I go West I feel more free. That's why when I go on bike rides I only ride West until I have to turn around and head home. I'm weird, but that's what makes me me.
Thursday, June 13, 2002
AHHH!! Only a week left of summer for me. What's sad is that summer doesn't actually start untill the day I have to go back to school.
Tuesday my Jungle Boots came, but they were too big so my mom and I drove out to some military base around Detroit to get some new ones. I ended up spendint $100 dollars on the boots, a few camo bungie cords my mom wanted me to get, and a polyporpolene shirt.
Yesterday I went out to lunch with Betsy, but before I went to pick her up I had to put some gas in my car. As it turns out my credit card was maxed out due in no small part to the fact that my dad made me buy a $400 blender on it 2 weeks ago. Why do they need a blender with 2 horsepower? I don't understand. Anyway, I was not happy. Some really nice guy ended up paying the $5 that I didn't have on me. The day did get better, however. Betsy and I had a nice lunch at Tio's. She's making an appointment to visit the convent she's interested in joining. It's in NYC, or thereabouts, but I don't think that I'd ever get to see her. I support her 100% with whatever she does, but I kinda think that my mom and dad will take it kinda hard. They weren't too thrilled with the idea of her becoming Catholic in the first place. I'm sure they're get used to it evetually, if she does decide to become a nun, but it might take a while. From what I gather, my mom had a little trouble getting used to the fact that i was joining the military and going to West Point. Gotta love scaring the parents. I wonder what Heidi's gonna do now.
After lunch with Betsy my mom and I drove to Kalamazoo area to visit my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. Isaac had a t-ball game and so we went and watched it. Uncle Jeff was the coach, but he was feeling sick and so he went home. Aunt Sue asked me to coach the team, I felt the parents who actually have seen a t-ball game before would do better. I would have probably ended up telling some 5 year-old to steal 2nd or throw the ball to 2nd from home in order to get the runner out. They don't keep score and there's a really good reason for that. It was a lot of fun to watch because they're just getting the hang of the game and look really cute, but none of them know how to catch a ball yet. It was fun.
Tuesday my Jungle Boots came, but they were too big so my mom and I drove out to some military base around Detroit to get some new ones. I ended up spendint $100 dollars on the boots, a few camo bungie cords my mom wanted me to get, and a polyporpolene shirt.
Yesterday I went out to lunch with Betsy, but before I went to pick her up I had to put some gas in my car. As it turns out my credit card was maxed out due in no small part to the fact that my dad made me buy a $400 blender on it 2 weeks ago. Why do they need a blender with 2 horsepower? I don't understand. Anyway, I was not happy. Some really nice guy ended up paying the $5 that I didn't have on me. The day did get better, however. Betsy and I had a nice lunch at Tio's. She's making an appointment to visit the convent she's interested in joining. It's in NYC, or thereabouts, but I don't think that I'd ever get to see her. I support her 100% with whatever she does, but I kinda think that my mom and dad will take it kinda hard. They weren't too thrilled with the idea of her becoming Catholic in the first place. I'm sure they're get used to it evetually, if she does decide to become a nun, but it might take a while. From what I gather, my mom had a little trouble getting used to the fact that i was joining the military and going to West Point. Gotta love scaring the parents. I wonder what Heidi's gonna do now.
After lunch with Betsy my mom and I drove to Kalamazoo area to visit my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. Isaac had a t-ball game and so we went and watched it. Uncle Jeff was the coach, but he was feeling sick and so he went home. Aunt Sue asked me to coach the team, I felt the parents who actually have seen a t-ball game before would do better. I would have probably ended up telling some 5 year-old to steal 2nd or throw the ball to 2nd from home in order to get the runner out. They don't keep score and there's a really good reason for that. It was a lot of fun to watch because they're just getting the hang of the game and look really cute, but none of them know how to catch a ball yet. It was fun.
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Last night I planned on getting up this morning and going for a run before breakfast. That didn't happen. I woke up at 9:30 and tried to talk myself into it, but by 11 when I finaly got up I had talked myself out of it. Today was spent shopping for stuff for Buckner. Around 4 I realized that I needed to get some exercise in and it was either running or bike rideing. I hate running and so the bike won. It was just going to tbe a trip around the city, but I ended up going into downtown Dexter. The way back felt a lot shorter then the way there. It was fun and sort of relaxing with plenty of time to think.
Good luck Jaz, Ez, Erich, Annah, and Adam in STAP and good luck Matt with finals.
Good luck Jaz, Ez, Erich, Annah, and Adam in STAP and good luck Matt with finals.
Monday, June 10, 2002
On to the subject of guys. A three week break from them is great. I was getting way to caught up with Erich and thinking about him. We're just friends and thats the way it should be. Yes, I like him, but I think I liked him too much. I don't need to worry or stress about this stuff because there are far more important things in my life. Besides, worrying and stressing do nothing.
While I've been home I've hung out with a few of my guy friends. They are great guys, but only as friends. It's funny, most of the guys I know assume that since I've spent one year in the military I know everything about every weapons system avaliable today, and that I enjoy talking about them. That's not the case. Back to guys now. When I got back from NYC and realized that Erich had blocked me - perhaps it was an accident, maybe it wasn't. I'm not blocked anymore- I was really upset and wanted to talk to someone. The first person that came to mind was Erich, but since he was the one who blocked me I imediatly ruled that out. Next, Matt came to mind, but since he's usually the one I call and whine and complain to I decided to give him a break. There's only so much a person can take. For some reason Frank popped into mind after that and I ended up calling him. We had a nice chat and I didn't talk about what had happend at all but I still felt better afterwords. In fact, I felt so much better that I wanted to ask him right then to the Camp Illumination Dance at the end of Buckner so that he could come out and see West Point. I decided to wait until after I talked to him in person and we sorted some stuff out. When we went out to lunch I realized that I love Frank a ton, as a brother, but he's not the sort of friend that I can take to a dance. Things aren't like they used to be and we are both different now. I doubt that I'll bring anyone from home for that dance. Yearling Winter Weekend is still up in the air because it's a long ways off. A lot can happen in half a year.
Right now I'm thinking that if I marry, and I'm hoping that someday I do get married, it will probably be to someone who graduated from West Point or was/is at least in the military. I like guys in civilian clothes a ton more than guys in uniforms, but I have a lot more in common with the men in the military. That's at least 3 years off, probably a lot more than that. I'm not gonna think about it anymore right now. It scares me.
While I've been home I've hung out with a few of my guy friends. They are great guys, but only as friends. It's funny, most of the guys I know assume that since I've spent one year in the military I know everything about every weapons system avaliable today, and that I enjoy talking about them. That's not the case. Back to guys now. When I got back from NYC and realized that Erich had blocked me - perhaps it was an accident, maybe it wasn't. I'm not blocked anymore- I was really upset and wanted to talk to someone. The first person that came to mind was Erich, but since he was the one who blocked me I imediatly ruled that out. Next, Matt came to mind, but since he's usually the one I call and whine and complain to I decided to give him a break. There's only so much a person can take. For some reason Frank popped into mind after that and I ended up calling him. We had a nice chat and I didn't talk about what had happend at all but I still felt better afterwords. In fact, I felt so much better that I wanted to ask him right then to the Camp Illumination Dance at the end of Buckner so that he could come out and see West Point. I decided to wait until after I talked to him in person and we sorted some stuff out. When we went out to lunch I realized that I love Frank a ton, as a brother, but he's not the sort of friend that I can take to a dance. Things aren't like they used to be and we are both different now. I doubt that I'll bring anyone from home for that dance. Yearling Winter Weekend is still up in the air because it's a long ways off. A lot can happen in half a year.
Right now I'm thinking that if I marry, and I'm hoping that someday I do get married, it will probably be to someone who graduated from West Point or was/is at least in the military. I like guys in civilian clothes a ton more than guys in uniforms, but I have a lot more in common with the men in the military. That's at least 3 years off, probably a lot more than that. I'm not gonna think about it anymore right now. It scares me.
Today was one of the best days I've had since I got home. It didn't start out that great. This morning I didn't want to get up because I was really tired and then at church Matt wasn't there and i was hoping that I would get a chnage to say hi to him. I wasn't in a great mood and people kept on coming up to me and asking me about school which got kinda annoying. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it sometimes gets annoying repeating myself 10 million times. Joe challenged me to an arm wrestleing match, but it didn't happen. I probably would've lost by a lot.
Around 5 I headed to Sarah's graduation party, but I didn't get there until 5:45 because I couldn't find her street. I knew a lot of people from high school who were there and it was great to see them again. We sat around and talked for a while and then watched When Harry Met Sally. It's a great chick flick. After that Bill, Sarah, Marty, Ian, Becki, and I all went to Bill's place to hang out some more. I hadn't seen any of them in at least 6 months. It was like nothing had changed.
Around 5 I headed to Sarah's graduation party, but I didn't get there until 5:45 because I couldn't find her street. I knew a lot of people from high school who were there and it was great to see them again. We sat around and talked for a while and then watched When Harry Met Sally. It's a great chick flick. After that Bill, Sarah, Marty, Ian, Becki, and I all went to Bill's place to hang out some more. I hadn't seen any of them in at least 6 months. It was like nothing had changed.
Sunday, June 09, 2002
Things have definitly changed. Am I the one who's different, are my friends the ones who are different, or are we all just different?
Friday afternoon I met up with Jen and Christy, my two roommates from NYLF and we hung out in downtown. Jen goes to UM and Christy goes to the Naval Academy. I see them maybe once or twice a year, but it's suprising how comfertable I feel with them now compared to a lot of my best friends from high school. Christy and I talked a lot about our lives at the academys and explained stuff to Jen and she gave us a tour of UM's campus. Funny, I've lived there my whole life, but she knew a ton more stuff then I did. She took us to the most beautiful spot on campus, I think. It's right by where the law students live in this courtyard type area. The beauty of it almost made me wish that I went to school there. I had a great time hanging out with them. We went to AMERS for lunch and then to Starbucks for some frappacinos. I got Ez into those while we were in NYC. After that we stopped by Harry's Army Surplus store so that I could check out their Jungle Boots. It really is a fake army store. I was not impressed at all. We then had to hurry back to our cars to put more money in the meters. Mine had run out, but I guess I still had some time left when the meter maid came around because the car in front of me got a ticket but I didn't. It was then that Jen took us to the courtyard and we sat and talked for over an hour. At 6 I had to go because Heidi invited me to a UCO party that evening. It was great spending time with them again. Hopefully Christy and I will meet up just as we did this last year at the Army-Navy football game. Go Army!
The UCO party was interesting. Heidi had her hair cut really short that afternoon and suprised everyone there with it. I didn't know most of the people, but a lot of them knew who I was from stories they'd heard from my family. The grenade throwing one was popular. I'd forgotten about it untill Steph brought it up on Sunday. I guess people here like hearing about me throwing grenades. That was pretty weird. Since I didn't know very many people, maybe one other person besides my sister, I was pretty quiet the whole time. That's what I do to get to know people and what they're like. I also don't know what to say and don't want to sound like a total idiot.
The Michigan West Point Parent's Club picnic was this mornign and so my parents and I attended. It was great to be the person giving the advice instead of getting it. Molly didn't show up, but Chris, Kelly, Greenberg, and other people I knew from my class went. The picnic lasted a lot longer this year and by the end all of us were ready to leave. After the picnic I went to the big soccer tournament that Heidi told me about. Sarah and Hannah were there and so I talked to them a bit. It was nice to see them, but we kinda ran out of things to say after a while. I didn't stick around for the bbq because I felt like I'd just be tagging along behind somebody. I recognized a fair amount of people there, but I didn't really know them. There wasn't the feeling I usually get when I fit in somewhere. The whole thing actually made me miss West Point.
Friday afternoon I met up with Jen and Christy, my two roommates from NYLF and we hung out in downtown. Jen goes to UM and Christy goes to the Naval Academy. I see them maybe once or twice a year, but it's suprising how comfertable I feel with them now compared to a lot of my best friends from high school. Christy and I talked a lot about our lives at the academys and explained stuff to Jen and she gave us a tour of UM's campus. Funny, I've lived there my whole life, but she knew a ton more stuff then I did. She took us to the most beautiful spot on campus, I think. It's right by where the law students live in this courtyard type area. The beauty of it almost made me wish that I went to school there. I had a great time hanging out with them. We went to AMERS for lunch and then to Starbucks for some frappacinos. I got Ez into those while we were in NYC. After that we stopped by Harry's Army Surplus store so that I could check out their Jungle Boots. It really is a fake army store. I was not impressed at all. We then had to hurry back to our cars to put more money in the meters. Mine had run out, but I guess I still had some time left when the meter maid came around because the car in front of me got a ticket but I didn't. It was then that Jen took us to the courtyard and we sat and talked for over an hour. At 6 I had to go because Heidi invited me to a UCO party that evening. It was great spending time with them again. Hopefully Christy and I will meet up just as we did this last year at the Army-Navy football game. Go Army!
The UCO party was interesting. Heidi had her hair cut really short that afternoon and suprised everyone there with it. I didn't know most of the people, but a lot of them knew who I was from stories they'd heard from my family. The grenade throwing one was popular. I'd forgotten about it untill Steph brought it up on Sunday. I guess people here like hearing about me throwing grenades. That was pretty weird. Since I didn't know very many people, maybe one other person besides my sister, I was pretty quiet the whole time. That's what I do to get to know people and what they're like. I also don't know what to say and don't want to sound like a total idiot.
The Michigan West Point Parent's Club picnic was this mornign and so my parents and I attended. It was great to be the person giving the advice instead of getting it. Molly didn't show up, but Chris, Kelly, Greenberg, and other people I knew from my class went. The picnic lasted a lot longer this year and by the end all of us were ready to leave. After the picnic I went to the big soccer tournament that Heidi told me about. Sarah and Hannah were there and so I talked to them a bit. It was nice to see them, but we kinda ran out of things to say after a while. I didn't stick around for the bbq because I felt like I'd just be tagging along behind somebody. I recognized a fair amount of people there, but I didn't really know them. There wasn't the feeling I usually get when I fit in somewhere. The whole thing actually made me miss West Point.
Thursday, June 06, 2002
I miss my friends back at school. The people back here know more about me, but I'm becoming more comfertable with my friends at school. I miss Ez, Jaz, Erich, Dan, Beth, Molly, and everyone else. Last night I went out with Jake. We drove around the city and talked about nothing for a few hours. Today I went out to lunch with Frank. It was good, I guess.
Wednesday, June 05, 2002
My day consisted of getting up around 10:30, going for a run around 11:30 and then going to work out at Dominoe's Farms at 1:30 until 2:40. At 5:00 I met up with Amy and Matt B. and we saw The Sum of All Fears. It was an okay movie. I was bored around 8 and so I ended up calling Jake. It was more of a call to say hi and stave off bordem and it worked for a while. Tomorrow night we're going to hang out. I definitalty don't like him anymore, but he's a cool guy to be friends with. Yesterday Mark called me and we ended up going to Put-Put together for two rounds of mini-golf. I'm suprised how easy the courses seem now. That dosn't change the fact that I still suck at it, however. Becki and I are supposed to hang out tomorrow afternoon and then Erin and I are supposed to do something later in the day. I'm hoping that the times all work out. Frank and I are supposed to go out for lunch on Thursday. I'm looking forward to that, but also somewhat nervous. There are some things that we need to talk about and I'm hoping that Thursday will be the chance for it. On Friday I'm going to an OCF party with Heidi and maybe spend the night there. That reminds me, Mark invited me to a prayer meeting on Wednesday night. Crap. I can't make it. At least my life sounds somewhat busy even though it's not.
Tuesday, June 04, 2002
What I really hate is when I get start to think about something such as science and come up with all these ideas and explainations and ideas for things, but at the same time realize that I don't know anywhere near enough for my explanation to be plausible or for me to think any deeper on the subject. I'm watching a program on teh Discovery Channel about Super-Massive Black Holes and I began to think about how similar they look to tornados. I know hardly anything about either of those, but I know enough to get my mind working and trying to compare them and figure things out ina totally wrong way. They both spin around some central point and travel on some sort of path. Both have objects spinning around them and nothing in the center. The computerized picture of a black hole looks strikingly smililar to that of a tornado. My idea is that a black hole is very similar to a tornado. The center would be a calm spot just as it is in a tornado. It would then be possible to travel through the center of a black hole. The problem would be getting to that point because just like a tornado, it can not be breached. If only I actually knew something on this subject.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)