Yes, I am listening to Christmas music right now. I love Christmas and the period leading up to it. I know it's still a long ways off, but the music makes me happy and peaceful. Plus, it snowed today which makes it even better. Okay, so it was only around three flakes which I didnt' even see, but that doesn't matter. It still snowed. James was complaining about it and saying that he wants to temp to go back up to 80 degrees while I was saying how happy I was that it snowed. I guess that's the difference between people from Michigan and people from Texas. I'm happy with every season because I'm used to them all.

Speaking of feeling peaceful, I was at Bible study today and was thinking about how peacefull I felt there. It reminded me a lot of my Church youth group in middle school and high school. I loved the youth group because the people were so special to me and I looked up to them because I was usually the youngest. I didn't talk a whole lot at the meetings, but when I did speak they would listen. The retreats were something I actually looked forward to in the winter. I didn't care for the actual talks on Luther's Small Catachism and stuff, but what I really enjoyed was the rest of the time we had to spend together. The first few years there was a battle between the girls and the guys over spray bottles with water in them. We would each try and steal them from the other team. Going into a guys room wasn't allowed, but we still managed to find ways, usually in the middle of the night, to sneak around and steal them from the guys. I thought that the different youth group leaders, Mike M., Mike S., Lisa, and Susan were some of the coolest people I knew and I really respected them and looked up to them. I loved being around Anna, Jen, Teresa, Donny, Carla, and everybody else. When I was in high school I really like youth group because it was fun being the only girl and I liked hanging out with Matt, Dan, Joe, James, and everyone. I really looked forward to going to Church because I could see all of them. They are all really special to me.

It's amazing! Frank and I actually talked on the phone tonight. The first game of phone/email tag came to an end. We talked for about 45 min. He's doing well, needs sleep, but that goes for just about everyone. I'm really glad that we're talking a lot more again. He's a great guy. Christian, nice, easy to talk to, we both share about the same morals. That is why I want to become better friends with him.

Today I was thinking (i know, me thinking means you should run for your life) about this blog/journal/whatever. Recently I've noticed that I'm watching what I write because of what someone might think. It's not that what I want to write is anything bad or would get anyone in trouble, it's just that someone might take it too literaly or think that my writing is sloppy and I sound stupid, or take something personally that was actually just one of my random thoughts about the world. I don't like the fact that I'm doing that. When I started writing this I told myself that it'd be the one spot where I wounldn't care what other people thought. It was my place to write whatever I wanted and vent. Now I'm putting constraints on my venting and I want to stop doing that. I don't want other people to influance what I do or don't write about. I want people to read my page because it helps me be write and I think it gives them to see the side of me that has a lot to say. I like knowing what other people think about what I write and what their opinions are, but I don't want that to influance me. I need this to be my free space to vent and say some crazy stuff because I can't do it anywhere else. Therefore, I'm going to do my best to write about whatever again. In a way, I feel kinda like I'm being selfish because my main purpose of this page is for My life and other random thoughts and I'm not using it to respond to my friends. I see the comments section as the part where I can step out and talk to them personally.

Crap, it's getting late and that's why I'm rambleing on.