Happy Birthday Matt! You are old.

Today I forgot my calculator and binder in philosophy class right before lunch. I realized that after lunch around around 1:30. After practice I went back to the classroom and got a janitor I know to unlock the room for me. Just as I expected my stuff was still there. My binder was on a desk with another binder and my claculator was in my pencil bag displayed in the front of the classroom where it was very visible so that I could find it. That's one of the things I love about this place and it's one of the reasons I came here. Somebody could have very easily run off with my calculator, but it was still there six hours later when I finally got around to getting it.

79 days untill Christmas leave :) For spring break the womens crew team is going to Virginia Beach again. I had an awesome time last year and would not have any problem at all with going back, except for the fact that spring break is two weeks earlier this year and there's a good chance that it'll be really cold. My Mom asked if it'd be okay if her and dad came up again and I said I thought that'd be okay.

My senior year of high school and then a little last year I had a hard time spending a lot of time and talking with my parents. Senior year I was nervous about coming here and everytime I talked to them I was reminded of just how soon and how different everything would be. I just wanted to forget everything and go have fun with my friends and not think about how my whole life was about to change in a short while. Then, I got here and survived the pressures of the first summer and was really happy to see my parents again on acceptance day, but in the back of my mind there was still the constant dread of having to go back and face all the upperclassmen in a few hours. Plus, my parents, rightfully so, had tons of questions and I was frustrated at either not knowing the answers to them or having to answer them over and over again. It still bothers when they ask a question and I don't know the answer because this place has brainwashed me into thinking that I always need to know the answer and so if I can't answer a question I feel like I'm failing in some way. It's stupid. My parents, Heidi, and Matt came up for Plebe Parent weekend. I had an awesome time that weekend, but it was also really hard because I was struggling a lot with my attitude towards my parents. They would talk to other people and tell them about how they have a daughter at West Point because they are proud of me, but at that point I took it as them using me to elavate themselves and I wasn't sure that they would still be proud of me and treat me the same if something happend and I decided to leave West Point. Matt was awesome that weekend and we talked a lot and he helped me a ton. Looking back on it I realize that I was taking everything that my parents were doing and saying the wrong way and I think that Matt realized that and was trying to show me that, but I was so full of millions of emotions and didn't understand it. There was just so much going on on every level that weekend with me. I'm still sorting it out. I must say that I can't ask for a better friend/brother than Matt. I am sorry, however, that I didn't get to spend a lot of time with Heidi. Over the past year my relationship with my parents has steadily improved. Once again I really like spending time with my parents and talking to them about what's going on in my life. I wish I could spend more time with them. Perhaps it's odd for a teenager, but I wanted to spend every moment with them when they were up here two weekends ago. I choose going out with my parents over going out with my friends. I can go out with my friends another time, but I only see my parents every few months. I love my family a ton.