The worst guilt that I have is that both my actions and my inaction ended up causing my friend to go through one of the hardest things she's ever had to go through. I wish I could go back and change everything that happened. Why did I have to be in shock at that moment? Maybe I have something akin to survivers guilt and what will soon happen will help ease that because I'll suffer some of consequences. I don't know what's going to happen to me, but I know that I've dissapointed myself and my TAC. I have no one to blame but myself because although I could not control the actions of my friend, I could control my own actions and I think that I choose the wrong ones. I have to live with this for the rest of my life, but at least I know that I've learned something from it. It is possible for good to come out of the situation if you look hard enough.