The funeral was today. I didn't go, but know some people who did. I never knew him, but I've heard that he was an amazing guy and I wish I had known him. We had the TAPs vigil on Tuesday. Seeing his family there standing on the side of the plain watching the whole corps line up along the plain really moved me. I don't know how to describe what I feel as I stand there among the rest of the corps and think about how one of us is no longer there.

Tuesday evening before the TAPs vigil I thought about the fall of plebe year and everything that has happened since then. First I found out the week after plebe parent weekend that my oldest sister had cancer. She had the same cancer that my mom had when I was really little. Soon after that I learned that Jon, a boy from my Church back home, also had cancer. Those were both really hard things to come to terms with. The worst experiance, however, was going with one of my roommates to the top of Thayer hall and the back of Cullom Hall because one of our friends had not been where she was supposed to be and we did not know where she was and had reasons to believe that she may have jumped. I was so scared that I would see her body on the ground below. Thankfully, she had not jumped and later that night we found out what was going on and where she was. It was hard because I was not allowed to talk about it to anyone and nobody in the company knew anything except the CO and the TAC. The ending is bittersweet. My oldest sister is in remission now, my friend eventually decided it was best to leave the academy that spring after struggling with the decision for a few months, and Jon died in late July the next summer. Jon was such a good kid. He was only 14. Why him? Why Peter?

When my Grandpa died when I was 11 I kept saying that he was the lucky one because he was in Heaven. I believe that about Jon and Peter, but that doesn't make it any easier for those who knew them and wish they were still alive.