(Written 3/30/2002 5:30 PM)

Right now I am truely a teenager. I haven't experianced this feeling of freedom and relaxation in almost a year. I'm lying on my bed with a towel still wrapped around my wet hair, my skin still drying off, wearing a tank top and shorts that my mom thinks are too short. My thoughts are of guys as I lay here listenting to the ocean surf pound against the beach. There is one guy in particular who's been in my mind all day. I wish he were here right now now with me.He's the one who makes me happy with out even trying no matter what mood I'm in.The person who I love talking to and spending time with. He is also the one who I try not to think of because now is not the time. The person who will remain nameless, perhaps forever. He does have a name. In fact he has had more than one name, but I refuse to speak his name for fear that if I do all hope will be lost and everything will be ruined. Someday I hope to be able to say his name, but many things must happen first. In the mean time I'm getting to know and like other guys because there is a great possiblity his name could change, it has before. Only time will tell.

I lay here lost in my youthful thoughts about love and romance, not wanting to face reality. My dream is the perfect romantic movie, but life isn't a movie. Sometimes it's worse, but other times it turns out so much better.