Screw it. I give up. You know what, I'm not perfect. I'm not extremely smart, or an awesome athlete. I'm not artistic, and don't have a beautiful voice. I'd rather play football and rough house rather than flirting with a lot of guys and hanging on them. I do like to dress up and look nice sometimes, but I'm no where near the prettiest person in the world. I'm not skinny, an extrovert, or good at talking to guys. I say and do the wrong things, am to tom boyish, but not good at it either, and am very quiet. I guess I'm all wrong, but that's who I am. If guys don't like it, it's not my problem, because I am who I am.

I'm sick of this roller coaster ride of "does he like me, he likes me, he doesn't like me..." I've been through it so many times with so many different guys. I start out likeing some guy in the early spring and like him more and more as spring progresses. Then in the fall something happens like us going out or something. It ends up that he doesn't like me or something and the whole" lets just be friends" crap. I move on, still hurt and also likeing him untill spring rolls around and I meet a new guy. It's been this way since 8th grade. I thought I'd escaped it this year, but now looking at it, Erich fits right into the timing. I don't want it to happen again. Right now guys suck!