Today wasn't a great day. I found out that the possibility of me getting the platoon I want, or any platoon for that matter, in the near future has dropped significantly because I'm not already in the battalion. I found it slightly disturbing when one of the options the company commander I talked to this morning mentioned that I could look into was seeking a PL slot in a unit that will be deploying soon since they may need people...and I was/am actually seriously considering doing it. I guess it kinda stunned me when he asked me if there was anything, (i.e. a relationship, family, etc.), that would might keep me from deploying again right away and I told him that I could deploy tomorrow without a problem (save for the pre-deployment saga and packing my few things away).
I've been thinking about it off and on over the course of the day doing my whole over-analyse of it, and have realized that I don't really have an issue with deploying again in the near future (though other people around me might not like it), but my main reason for even considering looking into a unit deploying in the near future would be because I am trying to run away from something and I am also trying to prove myself. I don't know what exactly I am running from, but just that I am running. The issue about proving myself is something just as stupid. I feel some need to prove myself to my friend Jordan and others who belittle my current job.
In order to ease some fears, I should add that it is highly unlikely that I will actually move to a unit that is deploying soon. I'd put it at a 99.9% chance of it not happening because it is all hypothetical.
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