Confused Doesn't Even Begin to Describe Me

I am a Lutheran who is lead to attend a non-denominational Church yet also called to become Catholic.  Something has to be wrong here.  Argh!

WWW.HowToDiceAnOnion

The internet is great.  I am quite cooking illiterate even though I love baking.  Andrea is making a sauerkraut casserole for dinner tonight, but neither of us were sure how to dice an onion, so I looked it up online and found a nifty instructional video at http://www.chow.com/stories/10134. 

 

Last night Derrick and Cara hosted a Mexican fiesta reunion of the Tigris River Chapel praise team and chaplains.  I really enjoyed seeing everyone again after almost three months, and it was neat meeting their spouses and families.  I was truly blessed to be able to spend time with such an amazing group of people in Iraq.  I don't think I stopped smiling the entire evening. 

The Week Tastes Like Vegetables

This week has been akin to me eating vegetables when I was little.  I was told the vegetables were good for me, but I sure didn't like the taste of them. (Sometimes I spit them into my napkin, although I usually reserved the napkin trick to get rid of my glass of milk.  Shh...don't tell my Mom).  The week has been full of things that are probably good for me and will help me grow and mature in the long run, but they are very uncomfortable to deal with right now.  More specifically, yesterday I had two extremely embarrassing moments, one of which was so embarrassing that I was tempted to never show my face in public again.  However, my Dad has always said that a sign of maturity is the ability to laugh at yourself, so I did my best to laugh at myself and also gave a few other people something to laugh about.  Some of the other things this week relate to hopes being deferred and, in the process, working on patience.  I sure hope I am doing the right thing by not acting and being patient in one of the circumstances, because otherwise I will probably look pretty funny as I try and kick myself if I find out that inaction was the wrong action.  Vague, yes.  Why?  Because elephants have flat feet. 

One More Has Fallen

My prayers are with the family and friends of 1st Lt. Jacob N. Fritz, West Point  class of 2005.

http://www.west-point.org/users/usma2005/61584/

 

Random Email

    Today I received an email stating, "You have been identified as a potential instructor for the Department of Mathematical Sciences at the United States Military Academy, West Point.  If selected, you would be given two years of fully-funded (and full time) graduate school with a follow on three-year assignment to West Point in the Department of Mathematical Sciences."  I am wondering how my name ended up on the email list since it wasn't a mass email to all of my class, though I have no clue how many other people received it.  Probably a fair number received it as well.  I can't even remember how I did in my math classes.  Strange.

Does Anyone Love Their Job?

This morning I was planning and looking forward to going for a faster, longer run with one of my fellow LT's during PT.  My plan fell through due to a new policy and I ended up not being able to go for a run at all.  Since I went swimming yesterday I didn't due any PT during lunch, but decided I still wanted to go for a run after work at 5pm.  I was really looking forward to the run, but then a meeting with the officers in my section took a while and the sun had already set by the time I got home.  My attitude became worse and worse during the meeting because I realized that I wouldn't be able to go for a run, and though I was not verbally saying anything it still showed on my face.  I was both angry about not being able to go for a run, and also angry at myself for having a bad attitude about having to stay a little later. 

 

I got home in a bad mood and after Andrea came home we had a little venting session.  My mood was still not very good when a few friends showed up later on for the first meeting of a Bible study that Andrea is leading.  This evening we only looked over the Bible study for a bit to familiarize ourselves with it and then talked about work for about an hour, but my attitude is a lot better now after the Bible study.  I do have one question though.  Can anyone name someone in the Army who actually loves their job?  I asked this to Andrea and to the other people who came tonight and sadly no one could name a single person.  A few did say that they really enjoyed PL time, but none of them are PL's anymore.  I'd like to meet someone who whole-heartedly loves their job and looks forward to going in to work everyday.  Perhaps that person could inspire me to love my job instead of bear it in the hopes of something better coming along soon. 

A Wonderful Day

I wish I could press the stop button on today and rewind it so that I could relive it over again and again. I am probably making far too much out of this day and I will realize that sometime in the near future, but for now while the emotion and excitement is still fresh and full of possibility it seems like a completely wonderful day. I will now proceed to rehash the day down to the minute details.

To start off with, the day was beautiful and in the low 60's which, after a week of rain and freezing temperatures, was a welcome change. Earlier this week Phil invited me to go to Church with him and I agreed because the Church was on my list of Churches that I wanted to check out. I wasn't able to make it to the Bible study portion before the service due to having SDO duty yesterday, but I made it in time for the 10:30 service. At the church I ran into my friend Willy who I know from OCF at West Point, and his wife Amy who I met when Willy was in processing into Fort Hood last December. I chatted with them until Phil came in from the Bible study. With him was his friend Mike. Phil had mentioned Mike a couple times over the week, but I hadn't realized that Mike would be at church, which is probably a good thing for me to not have known ahead of time. We all sat down together and a few minutes later Ben, Mikes roommate and Phil's friend, and Ben's girlfriend, Danica, joined us. I was sitting in-between Mike and Phil and during the greeting portion of the service Mike told me that I had a very beautiful voice.

After the service Phil, Mike and I were talking together and Mike mentioned that he was going flying today and asked if either of us would like to go. It sounded very cool and I had never been in a small plane before so I wanted to go, but Phil had other activities he wanted to do. All of us, Ben and Danica included, ended up going out to lunch at a nearby deli that is a very popular after-church gathering place to eat. Mike choose to sit on the end of the table next to me even though there were two or three other open seats on the other side of the table. I wasn't sure if I was still invited flying since Phil didn't want to go and Mike and only just met me, but Ben and Danica were also going flying and Phil's not going didn't seem to even be an issue to Mike about whether or not I was invited.

When we all arrived at the local airport Danica asked me if I had met Mike before today, and I suddenly realized that there I was spending an afternoon with three people who were close friends with each other, but I who I had never met before in my life. The really strange thing was that I didn't feel as extremely shy as I normally would under those circumstances. Most likely because they were all very friendly...and we had all gone to West Point and so had something in common.

Due to the airplane being fully fueled it could only carry three people at first, so Ben opted to stay on the ground while Mike took Danica and I up. It was awesome flying around and Danica and I had a wonderful time. At one point he asked me if, when I got up this morning, I had imagined I would be flying around in plane this afternoon. The thought had never even remotely crossed my mind. After about 30 minutes we landed to see if Ben wanted to come along because enough fuel had been burnt off. Before we took off Ben had said that he and Danica weren't going to stay very long and Mike offered that after that they left he could take me up in the plane again. Ben opted not to go up in the plane at all and so he and Danica left after the flight. Mike repeated his offer to take me up again and I readily agreed. He also asked me if I'd like to learn how to fly the plane this time since it was just the two of us. Shortly after we took off he gave me a few instructions on what to do and then let me take control of the plane. I ended up flying the plane for about an hour, though a couple of times he stepped in to help. Twice he referenced us going flying together again sometime in the future. One reference was to us going flying at night so that he could show me how beautiful the lights are. The other reference was that next time he'll have a specific destination in mind, most likely because I had asked if there was anything really interesting to see where we were flying and he couldn't think of anything.

After we landed and Mike was tying up the plane I happened to see Derrick, so I yelled to him and he came over to say hi. I introduced them to each other and we exchanged pleasantries.

As Mike and I were saying goodbye he told me that I could call and ask him to go flying with him anytime and he would always say yes:) When I got back to the apartment Andrea was about to take off on a bike ride, so I quickly changed my clothes and joined her. My original plan for the afternoon had been to go for a run followed by a bike ride, but the invitation from Mike to go flying had changed everything. Being able to still get in a 14 mile bike ride was quite nice. The weather was perfect for both flying and bike riding.

I called Phil later in the evening because he had mentioned wanting Mike and I to meet and I wanted to tell him how great the day had been. Who knows if Mike and I will actually ever go flying again, but today sure was amazing. The wonderful day ended with Andrea and I having a fire in our fireplace and making s'mores :)

Good Service Is A Bad Thing?

 Phil and I have gone out to eat twice this week and both times the service was exceptionally fast and good.  In fact, the service has been so good that after this last time we were trying to think of places that would be more crowded so that our service would be slower.  We both knew the idea of it all was quite backwards, but both times we went out to eat we had to turn our waitresses away multiple times before we were ready to order.  Had we sat down and decided what to order before starting to talk there wouldn't be an issue, but our problem is that we start talking before we are ready to order.  Our waiter/waitress, seeing us in deep conversation and no longer looking at the menu, comes by because he/she thinks we are ready to order.  We then have to send him/her away and get back to looking over the menu.  That only lasts a minute or two before the menu is forgotten and we get caught up in another topic of conversation.  I think the the process repeated itself about four times both times we went out to eat.   What's more, even at Starbucks the coffees were made exceptionally fast, although Phil already knew what he was getting and I ended up getting the drink that the guy behind the counter recommended, so we didn't run into the ordering problem there.  That is not to imply that the service is usually slow at Starbucks. Starbucks happened to be the location of the place where we were discussing our good service problem and so it is lumped in with the other two instances. 

Snow!

Last night it snowed here in Texas.  There is only a slight dusting on the ground and it is a rather icy snow, but it is snow none the less.  I may post pictures later.  I feel a bit better having seen a tiny bit of snow this year. 

MLK Weekend

This weekend was a bit more productive than last weekend even though it rained three out of the four days. The weekend started with us having a fire in the fireplace and reading by the light of the fire and candle light while occasionally discussing what it must have been like to live back when those were the only methods by which to produce light at night. It was very relaxing.

On Friday, Andrea and I drove Austin to visit the Bicycle Sport Shop there, making it my third trip in one week. I had an appointment for my bike fitting and she ended up purchasing a mountain bike. Later that day, during a break in the rain, we went out for a 10 mile bike ride.

Saturday was not a very productive day at all. We were hoping to go for another bike ride, but it did not stop raining all day. I can't remember if either of us actually left the apartment. Oh wait, we made a trip out to go to target, Wal-Mart, and Circuit City. In the evening I made some gingerbread cookies.

On Sunday I, surprisingly, attended Temple Bible Church for a second time. I liked the service a lot better this week, most likely because last week there was a guest speaker. After Church I made some chocolate-caramel brownies to send to Rachel and Jordan along with the gingerbread cookies.

This morning I woke up and, for the first time in three days, did not hear any rain. When I looked outside the first time I did not have my contacts in and so it looked completely dry. Once I put in my contacts and looked again I saw that in fact everything was covered in a coat of ice. I guess there was an ice storm last night. Instead of going for a run, which was what I was originally planning to do when I woke up, I instead made whole-wheat pancakes for breakfast. Later on I did go for just short of a 6-mile run because the ground was quite dry, it was just the trees and parked cars that were covered in ice. I was planning on having a lazy evening at home, but one of my company-mates from West Point, Phil, unexpectedly contacted me and wanted to hang out. We planned to meet at Starbucks, but got there and found it closed, so instead we went back to his place and caught each other up on our lives over the past 18 months. I was very surprised at some of the similarities in our lives. We probably could've talked for a few more hours, but instead I said goodbye after two hours so that I could get back and make some chocolate-caramel brownies to bring in to work tomorrow.

Having two of my former company-mates, first Chris over leave, and then Phil today, contact me out of the blue was a pleasant surprise. I hadn't seen either of them since graduation and I really enjoyed being able to spend time with both of them again. Phil was my platoon sergeant when I was a platoon leader firstie year and Chris as a squad leader in our platoon.

Rainy Day

Rain, rain go away,

Come again another day.

 

 

Roommate, Bike, and Deep Thoughts

Andrea made it safely back from MN this afternoon. I am glad she is back, although the adjustment from living alone to living with someone is surprising to me, especially since I'd only had my own room for about 18 months and it was only a room, not an apartment. Now I still have my own room, but share an apartment and, at least at first, it felt like a big adjustment. I suppose it is good for me to not get too used to living alone because I would most likely become a complete hermit and have a million cats even though I am a dog person.

This afternoon I took my bike out for a test ride. The bike is awesome, but the seat unexpectedly lowered on me about 45 minutes into my ride when I was about a third of the way up a hill. Thankfully I was already headed back in the direction of the apartment and so I cut my bike ride a little shorter than I had originally hoped so I could get back to the apartment and tighten the seat. I must say, people drive very fast. I rode along one of my main run routes, but the cars seemed to be speeding by even faster (and closer) when I was riding along on the road with them instead of running as far as possible off to the shoulder or on the sidewalk. It was also quite windy and at times I felt like I was about to be blown over, which scared me even more. Once I turned off the busy road and onto a more rural street I became much more comfortable and was able to enjoy my surroundings. Due to the seat malfunction I only rode a little over 11 miles, but I hope to be increasing my mileage in the near future.

Whilst cleaning my room this evening I experienced some moments of nostalgia about the past few years. Part of it was due to my taking a break from the cleaning and going back to my first few months of posts on this blog and re-reading about what my life was like and who I had a crush on at that time. Then, when I was emptying out the backpack two pictures that were hidden in an inside pocket fell out. One was of Nick in a helicopter and the other was of Nick and I in Kuwait. I thought I had packed the pictures away in the box with my violin, Joe Bear, and the Bible that Rob gave me for my birthday.

Well, now I'm diving back into another episode of an analytical introspective look at myself. This time the topic is if I actually have the ability to be in love with someone. Whilst a couple friends believed that to be the case with me in regards to someone else, I don't think it was the case. Infatuated with them, yes, but in love, no. Actually, more I was mostly likely infatuated with the person who I wanted them to be and most likely not the person they actually are in real life. (Thank you Jordan for that revelation). In any case, in the two months since the whole thing came to a head I’ve often wondered if I actually have the ability to be in love with someone and in doing so open up and make myself vulnerable to them. I have lived my whole life making sure that I do not fully show anyone how much they mean to me because of the fear that I do not mean as much to them. I believe this to be true in all of my relationships with both friends and family. When I think about it the whole thing seems quite selfish and self-centered of me, yet I don’t know how to be any different. The by-product of all of this is that for the past two months I’ve been trying to convince myself that I want to move to Siberia and become a single, nomadic, hermit, sheep-herder. (I stole the Siberia and sheep-herder bit from Anne).

New Bike

After work today, Jordan and I drove down to a bicycle shop in Austin. I drove down there once on Sunday afternoon, but they had to order a bike for me to try out because they didn't have my size in stock. The shop got the bike the next day, but since Jordan wanted to look at bikes and also wanted to watch the football game last night we put off the trip till today. Jordan ended up buying a mountain bike and I bought a road bike. It was a little more expensive than I was planning to spend on the bike, but in the end I really like the bike. Now I have to make sure I get my money's worth out of it. The bike, a Dolce Elite by Specialized (http://www.specialized.com/bc/SBCBkModel.jsp?spid=21995), is the first major purchase that I've made since I've been back that is solely for fun and recreation purpose, unlike my cell phone, apartment, and mattress.

Introspective Look At Another Deployment

Today wasn't a great day. I found out that the possibility of me getting the platoon I want, or any platoon for that matter, in the near future has dropped significantly because I'm not already in the battalion. I found it slightly disturbing when one of the options the company commander I talked to this morning mentioned that I could look into was seeking a PL slot in a unit that will be deploying soon since they may need people...and I was/am actually seriously considering doing it. I guess it kinda stunned me when he asked me if there was anything, (i.e. a relationship, family, etc.), that would might keep me from deploying again right away and I told him that I could deploy tomorrow without a problem (save for the pre-deployment saga and packing my few things away).

I've been thinking about it off and on over the course of the day doing my whole over-analyse of it, and have realized that I don't really have an issue with deploying again in the near future (though other people around me might not like it), but my main reason for even considering looking into a unit deploying in the near future would be because I am trying to run away from something and I am also trying to prove myself. I don't know what exactly I am running from, but just that I am running. The issue about proving myself is something just as stupid. I feel some need to prove myself to my friend Jordan and others who belittle my current job.

In order to ease some fears, I should add that it is highly unlikely that I will actually move to a unit that is deploying soon. I'd put it at a 99.9% chance of it not happening because it is all hypothetical.

Lazy Weekend

This weekend I have been far too lazy. The majority of my physical activity was me moving from the couch to the kitchen, a good distance of maybe 10 feet, to get food inbetween tv shows. While in the kitchen I did try my hand at a few new recipes, although I had less than superb results. Yesterday I did not leave my apartment at all. In fact, I never even changed out of my pajamas. This morning I did make it to Church, although I have yet to go to the same Church twice here and I don't think I'll be starting that trend next week. My activity level remained somewhat high into the afternoon in that I drove down to Austin to a bicycle store. I think I've found the size and model of road bike that I'll get, but they didn't have it in stock and so I'll have to drive back either tomorrow or later on this week. After that little juant I went back to my apartment and returned to my previous activity level of near zero, save for the oatmeal-rasin cookie baking that I did in the evening. I am now headed to bed feeling like I've watched far too much tv and done far too little for my physical fitness over the past two days. All in all, as long as I don't have weekends like this very frequently, I'd say it was a rather good weekend.

Back from Michigan and Running Again

   As you can probably tell by the lack of posts over the last couple of months, I haven't felt much like writing recently. Yesterday I returned to Texas after some much needed and greatly enjoyed time to relax in Michigan with family and friends. I was going to sign in and then go in to work today, but I talked with my friend Jordan on the phone and she convinced me to wait a few more days. Truth be told, I was concidering not signing in right away even before I talked to her. In any case, I did not sign in yesterday. My plan was to take today off to sleep in and then go down to Austin to shop for a triathlon bike. Unfortunatly, laziness go the best of me and I am putting off the trip until this weekend. After sleeping in until aroun 9:30 am, whereupon Jordan called me to discuss upcoming dinner plans with her and her husband, I headed onto Fort Hood to go to the pool and swim for a bit. When I got to the pool I found that it is closed until further notice due to some sort of trouble with the water heater. I hope that whatever failed is fixed soon because not having a pool to swim in will greatly hinder preperation for the sprint triathlon. Since running was my only other training option, and I had been thinking about going for a run after my swim anyway, I drove back to my apartment and went for a run.
   Today's run was a little over 7 miles broken up into 8 min run segements followed by one minute of walking. I don't know why, but my runs in Texas seem harder and slower than my runs in both Iraq and in Michigan. I usually save the fartlek runs for the days when I am not very motivated to run because it makes the time go by faster for me. Today I felt like I never got into the running groove. The good news is that ever since I bought I bought a new pair of running shoes I have not had any pain or discomfort in my ankle. My knees have been a bit sore, especially today, but I think that is due to my running slower and also most likely having gained a few pounds over the holidays.