I feel like my world is slowly spinning downward. Grades, crew, friends, family, everything. The other day Mark asked me if I was okay because he said that I was starting to act like him. I don't know what's wrong. There's a real lack of motivation and I feel like there is a weight hanging on me.

Today I got my physics phaseline writ back. I barely passed with a 73/100. In math I got a 10/10 on a quiz where the average was 5/10, but we also had to turn in out math projects I don't think that my partner and I did the excel spreedsheet correctly or did the write-up very well. Then, in spanish we got back the wpr's from last week which I thought I'd done okay on, or at least passed. I got a 64%. There's a physics wpr on Saturday morning, AP wpr tomorrow, and 6 week grades come out at the end of this week. This is the first time that I'm actually concerned about those because of the grades in some of my classes.

When was it that I stopped being able to turn to my parents for someone to talk to? This has been on my mind for a few months or more. I don't tell them very much about my life. At least I don't think that I do. Sure, I tell them the basic facts about what I've been up to and what's new with life here, but I don't talk to them very much about guys, friends, how I'm feeling about stuff, and other things that sometimes I wish I could talk to them about. I don't know what that's the case. Perhaps it is because I don't want to dissapoint them or something, so I just hide some stuff. I also don't want to get lectured or be preached to. I know that if I tell my sisters something it'll probably reach my parents, so I don't tell them much stuff either. Why do I feel a need to do this? I guess I don't know how to talk to them.