Giving Thanks

The more I hearfrom my friends in other units, especially fellow MI Lieutenants, and the things they were doing, the more I've started to envy them them. Last night as I was riding my bike back to my trailer after yet another day feeling like I wasn’t doing enough and grumbling in my mind, a verse from 1 Thessalonians popped into my head. "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)." My first reaction was of course, "No! I don’t want to give thanks. Why should I give thanks? Other people are doing cool and interesting things, but I’m stuck in an office feeling like a robot could do just as good of a job as I’m doing."

1 Thessalonians kept repeated in my head all the way back to my room, but my attitude hadn’t changed. I knew I was in the wrong, and that God has specifically placed me where I am for a reason, although I may not know that reason, but I still didn’t want to give thanks.
Since misery loves company I decided to see if one of my friends was in her trailer so that I could go vent to her about my job. She wasn’t there, and that probably turned out to be a good thing. I know that she isn’t too happy in her job, and so my telling her about my problems would most likely only serve to get us both complaining. Starting a complaining session the opposite of what Paul said to do in Ephesians 4:29 when he wrote, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

After having not succeeded in talking to my friend, I went back to my room and decided to hash it out with God, which is what I should’ve done in the first place. It started out as a one sided conversation with me telling him why I was unhappy. Two things came to mind in the midst of my talking to Him: Repent and give thanks, so that is what I did. I repented for my grumbling, for comparing myself to others and being envious of them and their job, and also seeking an escape in things (sleep, the growing candy stash in the TOC, and complaining to friends) instead of turning to God. Next I asked God to change me or change my job. It’s a simple prayer, but has a lot of power. Finally I started to give thanks. It was still hard to do at first, so I decided to find a few verses about being thankful:

-Colossians 3:17, 23
- Daniel 6:10
- Philippians 2:14

Once I started thanking God for my job I started to see it in a new light. Right now I have periods where I am very busy, but also periods where I don’t have much to do in the TOC. During those less active periods I am able to read the Bible and other books that help me grow in my faith and relationship with Christ. One more thing to be thankful about is that I have the opportunity to be a witness specifically to those I work with through how I live out my faith in daily life. Early on they noticed that I don’t swear and don’t join in with crude jokes. They also noticed I was, as one of the NCO put it, "very religious." I don’t know if it because I am the only female in the TOC, or if it is because I am a Christian, but I’ve heard it said more than once, "it’s a good thing you’re in here ma’am, because otherwise the language would be a lot worse." My witness may be small, but at least it’s a start and something to be thankful about.