I need to learn how to relax. I look foward to friday afternoons because it's usually the one day of the week that I can go back to my room after class and relax for the rest of the day with nothing scheduled, and not worry about homework for the next day. I always look forward to crashing on my bed wtih a book and then falling asleep and not worrying about how long I sleep, but then when I get the chance to do that it doesn't quite work as well. Stuff comes up, or I was time on the computer, so the nap gets delayed. Once I lay down and start reading I realize that I'm not as sleepy as I thoguht i was, even though during the rest of the week I doze off in about 5 minutes. Eventually I put down the book and try and sleep, but then I start worrying about what I"ll do for dinner, and if I'll miss one of my friends IM'ing me or emailing me about going to eat, or if I'll sleep so much that I'll sleep through formation in the morning because I don't have my alarm set, so I end up getting up and setting my alarm for one or two hours later. When I lay back down my mind is still going a million miles an hour thinking about the work I should be doing instead of sleeping, or thinking about the book I just read, or anything and everything else that is preventing me from getting the quality nap that I"ve been looking forward to all week. I end up sleeping for only an hour or so, and it's usually not the deep nap I hoped for, and I still feel stressed about work, or whatever I have next on my schedule.

This semester I have a busier schedule than ever before with classes, projects, crew, military stuff, and activities I'm invovled in. I enjoy it all, well, not the projects so much, but sometimes I wonder if I've overscheduled myself and it's taking too much of a toll on me. Will life become more relaxed after I graduate? I wish I could answer yes to that, but I don't think being an officer isn't the most relaxing thing, espcially with the current deployments. I enjoy life, but I'd like a little break where I don't feel the need to put out 110% effort all the time, and not have things hanging over my head, even if it is something as simple as dinner.