Woohoo! I just got my DOD decal for my car, which will make life a lot easier this weekend. I had heard it usually takes about a month for them to process the request, and since I turned the paperwork in on Tuesday, I figured that there was no way it would be done in time. I said a small prayer, and it worked:) Now I won't have to worry about the long traffic lines in the non-DOD decal lane when trying to get back on post.

Loving the vitamin C.

Alyson is a great person. She's kind, easy to get along with, a great roommate, but sometimes she share's a little too much. I say this because she has decided to share her cold with me. Ever since I got back to school I've been taking a multi-vitamin and drinking a glass of OJ at breakfast in hopes of avoiding catching anything. The period after a break is prime time for catching colds, because everyone brings back all the bugs from where they've been over the break. Alyson caught a nasty sounding cold last week that has left her voice sounding more like a frog than a human. My plan of avoiding getting sick was working until I lay down for a nap this afternoon and I noticed a little pre-cold tickle in my throat. I've spent the rest of the evening drinking water, eating oranges, eating Ricola vitamin C drops, and going for a run, in hopes that I can fend this thing off. So far it doesn't seem to be working. The runny nose started during my hw, and my head is starting to feel more and more cold-like. I figure I'll know the answer for sure tomorrow morning after crew practice.

Ring weekend begins the day after tomorrow, or in 1 hour 10 minutes, tomorrow. YAY!!

It seems that recently I've been having more and more aches and pains. My foot last semester, my shoulders, stupid cold, and also my elbow. Grrr. According to Alyson, who is a Chem Life Science major and applying to med school, so to me her diagnosis is as good as a doctor's, I probably have a pinched nerve in my elbow. No clue how that happened. I noticed it on Monday when it felt like I had a rather painful bruise, but I couldn't find a bruise. Then in the evening I noticed my elbow was a bit numb. It feels like it is getting better, although every now and then I put my elbow down in a spot that touches off whatever is causeing the pain, and it shoots through my elbow. Ah well, life wouldn't be interesting if we couldn't feel.

People probably find my blog rather annoying to read, which I don't mind in the least. The fewer readers, the better, because then I don't have to wonder as much about who is reading it. In any case, my entries rarely are written very well. Grammar, spelling, paragraph flow, and that other stuff and junk, I choose to ignore while writing. When I write it is basically a brain dump for me. I passed EN302, with a lot of prayers I should add, so I do posses some knowledge of how to write correctly, but that takes time and energy. Time and energy happen to be precious commodaties here, and I'm not about to spend them on this, although it does annoy me when I write something and I know that the grammar or spelling is wrong, but I rarely bother to go back and correct it. I'd rather remain annoyed and have the extra time.

There is a plebe in D1 who has the same name as me, except her first name is Katie. So far I've gotten 2 of her emails, and one laundry bag of hers. She tried out for the crew team, but I only saw her at the first day of tryouts. We've met once.

GO USA! The USA mens olympic 8 took gold in the rowing finals. YAYAYAY! The USA women's 8 took silver.

I finally won my battle against American Online. I called them today and had about a 15 minute argument with the sales guy as he tried to argue that since I wasn't paying for the account for one month I should wait until OCT18th to call and cancel. However, if I waited until the 19th, I'd be billed for the next month. I just kept repeating over an over "I don't care if it is free. I'm not using it, I don't want it, I want to cancel my account." I think the highlight was when he told me "Don't get upset. Have a glass of water. Have a glass of water." In reality I found the whole thing both frustrating and amusing. The other highlight was when I told him "I go to a school that is like a prison." I think that finally conviced him to allow me to cancel the account. Afterwords, Alyson said the whole conversatin sounded like a nightmarer, and she couldn't believe they were doing that to me.

The air outside has the cool, crisp feel and smell of an autum night. I love being able to stick my head out my window and see the hudson river and the hills sourounding it. It's so much better than looking into north area.

It's raining
It's pouring
I had an APFT
this morning.

Since it is an A/C weekend this weekend all of the regiments had to do some sort of PT. My regiment decided to have everyone take a diagnostic APFT. Due to the rain, however, it ended up being held indoors, and the run was canceled. On Monday I took an APFT for crew tryouts, minus the pushups, and did 75 situps in the 2 minutes. Today I only did 62 situps. The drop in situps is a bit puzzeling.

At 1030 all of the firsties had a DMI military branch briefing. I think I've changed my first branch choice to Military Intelligence. I have to input my order of branches between 4 OCT and 8 OCT, and then on 14 NOV I find out what I'll be doing for at least the next 5 years.

Last night Leah, Celio, Anne, Annah, and myself drove over to New Paltz (spelling?) and had dinner at a Thia resturant. It's so nice to be able to leave on weeknights. Right down the street is the sushi resturant that Leah has organized for us to go with our families fo lunch next Saturday. I suppose I should inform my family of this fact, since they will be up here. I can't wait to have them up here agian :)

Yay! Thunderstorm. The only bad part is that my car is still up in the lots, and although I'd like to get out of here this afternoon, I don't want to run up and get my car in a thunderstorm. Reading and sleeping, here I come.

This morning I went to orthopedic sick call so that an orthopedic surgeon could look at my shoulder. I had gone on Monday afternoon to have it checked out, and they started me on rehab and told me to come back Friday morning to have them checked out some more. This morning the surgeon basically told me what I was told on Monday. I have multi-directional something or other, and surgery won't help me. Instead, they put me on a finely tuned rehab program in hopes that it helps. It was not a great confidence builder when the orthopedic surgeon called all of the other officers in the room, as well as all the trainies, over to take a look at my shoulders. He told me that what I have is level 3a something or other, and that high level swimmers, gymnasts,and baseball pitchers are usually the people that it is seen in. Kinda odd since I am none of those. Anyway, I'm not on profile, but they are going to watch me closely throughout the year. Basically I have to strengthen my rotator cuff muscle, because all of my ligiments are too loose to do me any good in trying to keep my shoulders in their sockets.

For crew tryouts today we had to do as many leg presses as we could do until muscle failure. I did 818 leg presses in a row with an average leg press of 57kg, or aproximetly 125 lbs. The reason I stopped was not because I had reached muscle failure, but because I had reached boredom failure, and Ana accidently running into my machine and causing me to stop for a minute gave me an excuse to stop. Kate and Ana both made it to 1000, but I was going slower than them. I feel like I should have kept going. When I got off the machine my legs felt fine, but my butt hurt from sitting for so long. Since my group was the first to go, we had girls who only did around 200, and then some poeple who did 1000. I don't know how the second group did.

Robin Sage:

The short story is that I was a guerilla names Star who was an orphan. I joined the guerilla band because the UPA's kicked me out of Pineland State University because I wouldn't join them. That was that story for the character I played during the exercise. Pineland was the country we were in, which actually covered abotu a third of North Carolina. The two base camps my group stayed at were between Ashborro and Greensborro NC. (wrong spellings)

Since I was a guerilla, I had to pretend that I didn't know anything about the military, being tactical, or any common knowledge. It was pretty fun playing stupid, because it made the exercise very relaxed and easy. Christy, aka Toots, and I shared a tent together. There were 6 of us girls, all West Pointers. Our names were Star, Toots, Gwen, Trixie (previously Baby), Conception, and Daisy. We were supposed to play the role of COL Ricco's girls, except I didn't know how to play that role very well, and gave up at it after the first morning or so. After that I was just another guerilla, and became a squad leader. The other guerilla fighters were ROTC cadets and enlisted soldiers. There were about 25 - 30 of us total. COL Ricco was our leader. He's actually a retired SF soldier who now trains SF candidates.

The SF guys were pretty cool, and I felt bad for them because they were all extremely tired and hungry, and we had to be uncooperative eith them, and not give them any food or anything. The first 2 days were basically camping in the woods. No guard, camp fire all the time, everyone does their own thing. I had some really good conversations with a ROTC guy named Phil (G-name Luke) during that time. Then the SF guys arrived and we had to start pulling guard. The night after they arrived we were attacked by OPFOR. Baby died, and so the SF guys were ordered to dig her a 6 foot deep grave by 6 am the next morning. They didn't get any sleep that night.

There was a ton of down time during the day, and at night we went on missions. I went on a raid to a cememt factory. It was pretty cool, and the SF guys taught us room clearing tactics for it. We were issued M4's and AK-47s with blanks. During the day and at night we pulled 2 hour long guard shifts in pairs. It was very relaxed guard, and gave me time to talk to the other G's and also the SF guys.

For food we had MRE's, and then the SF guys brought us beans and rice, along with some spices. Since we had to pretend we were starving, we weren't allowed to eat the MRE's in front of the SF guys. Plus, since we had a low supply of them, we were alloted one a day. That meant I ate about 1.5 - 2 meals a day, which really wasn't that bad. Later we got live animals that we learned how to kill, skin, gut, and cook. The animals we got were rabbits, goats, geese, and a pig. I didn't do any of the killing, i couldn't handle it, but I did help skin and gut the pig. Toots and Daisy did most of the cooking. One night COL Ricco brought us marshmellows, and we roasted them over the fire.

I was suprised at how clean I managed to stay. A lot of it was due to the fact that we didn't have to wear camo or a kevlar. We were issued 2 pairs of black bdu's to wear instead of our regular bdu's. Every day I had about an hour of hygine time in the morning, and an hour or so in the evening. At our first base camp there was a river that we went to bathe in twice. I also took canteen cup showers, washed my clothes in the canteen cup, and the SF guys built us a shower were I took 2 Qt showers. The girls were allowed to take 2 real showers at a fire house across the street from the woods our second base camp was in. That first shower was after about 5 days in the field, and it was heavenly. The second shower was the day before we left. The guys didn't get to take any real showers, but they washed in the river.

I thought the whole experiance was pretty fun. Definetly a very easy MIAD. There was a lot of sitting around doing nothing, but it was what you made of it. I met some awesome people, and was trained by SF guys. It was definetly the highlight of my summer.

Quotes:
Gwen to the SF guys: "Welcome Americans." "Remove the blindfold"

Me to Lando: "Pants are a good thing!!" (he was dancing around in whitie tighties)

Luke to me: "I like you"

Magic to me: "You are going to make a good officer."

Gwen to me : "You chop wood as good as the guys"

COL Ricco to Toots: "How's my favorite girl?"

Trixie to me: "You don't know how to act like a slut."
Me to Trixie: "Maybe I can act like a slut, just let me try." (It was for a mission, I ended up giving my spot to Daisy, because Trixie was right, I don't know how and Daisy would do a much better job.)

Trixie to an SF guy: "What's a pace count"
Me to an SF guy about pace count: "What if you only have one leg?"

Toots: "The pig is loose."

Luke and Lando: "This one time at advanced camp..."

Lando: "I ate a dead bird's head"


Fun times...

The A-day parade just finished. I can't believe that I am one of the people who stands in the back wearing the red sash and carrying a saber instead of a rifle. It hasn't sunk in yet, and I don't know if it will ever sink it.

There was a SAMI this morning, but since Alyson is the CO, nobody came and inspected our room. It's nice having a couch and a mini-fridge in the room. Yay for being a Firstie. My class schedule looks much better than it has in the past, although I should probably wait until classes actually start to make that asessment. Amazingly, I only have 16.5 credits. I've never had that few. I kinda feel like I am a slacker because it is so light.

Classes:
CS484 Computer Networks
MS401 Transitoin to the Officer Corps
IT305 Theory and Practice of Military IT Systems
IT485 Spec Topic in Information Technology
IT460 Information Warfare
CS401 Software Systems Design I
PE424 Golf

I'm the Information Systems Officer for my company, and the S2 for the Crew Team. My Information Systems Sergeant, Ryan, has been amazing this past week. Since I didn't get back to school until Thursday afternoon, he has been doing all the work. I've tried to help now that I'm here, but I feel like I am really behind the power curve and trying to catch up on what is going on and what needs to get done.

Back at school. My room is a mess. I have no idea how I'm going to get it ready for a SAMI on saturday. I'd write more, but there is a new lights out policy for everyone. No lights on after midnight, not even computer screens. It's midnight now, so I must go.

I stress myself out way too easily. I'm not even back at school yet, but i'm already stressed. Set up room, clean room, get schedule, get books, TDY settelment, POV registration and inspection, and random crap.

Robin Sage was fun. I'll hopefully get around to writing about it, although every time i say I'll write about something later, I generaly don't get around to it.

This afternoon I report to SMULT. The drive down to NC was pretty nice, although it rained in MI and OH, and my tired started to leak air in WVA. Other than that, the drive was fine. I loved the hills/mountains of WVA and VA.

This is one of my favorite songs:

Lord
by Six Days From Sunday

No written word
Or polished phrase
No earthly song
That I could raise
Can bear the worship you desire
Or pick my soul out of the mire

Take down the walls around my soul
I relinquish my control
Let this fallen temple be restored
I can't do it by myself
Or turn to someone else for help
Christ you are my savior
Please be my lord.

How can these lips
That cause such pain
Bear to speak
Your holy name
How can these hands
So rough and crude
Be lifted up
In praise to you

Take down the walls around my soul
I relinquish my control
Let this fallen temple be restored
I can't do it by myself
Or turn to someone else for help
Christ you are my savior

Take down the walls around my soul
I relinquish my control
Let this fallen temple be restored
I can't do it by myself
Or turn to someone else for help
Christ you are my savior
Please be Lord.

I hate AOL. I want to get rid of it. I got it so that I could use dial-up internet when I travel, but I don't need it anymore. Canceling it is not as easy as one phone call. No, instead they, without my consent, sign me up for 2 free months, and then tell me to call back on OCT 19th to cancel. I told them over and over I did not want that, I want to cancel now. I do not have the time to deal with this and wait for OCT 19th. Do they listen, no. I was on the verge of yelling at them over the phone. AUGHHHH!

DO NOT SIGN UP FOR AOL. IT IS A SCAM.

Today I pack. Tomorrow I leave.

Outer beauty is only skin deep people, see the real me. I'm not saying this because I am ugly, I'm saying this because I'm being complemented on how I look. I do like being complemented, but I don't get those same complements when I'm wearing what I like to wear and would prefer to be in all of the time, that being a large t-shirt, comfy pants, and running shoes with my hair up, no make-up on. Those clothes give me space and freedom to move around, jump around, and run around, basically be active and do what I want, without worring about getting dirty, messing up my makeup or hair, and without feeling like the clothes are trying to constrict my movement. I can look pretty if I want to, but I'd rather be comfertable most of the time. I've noticed that when I do choose to put time into how I look, and look nice, I'm not as happy inside. Yet, when I go out in my comfy state, I'm self-concious about how I look because although that is the real me, it is not what society general says girls should look like. The obvious solution is to be happy with who I am and ignore what other people think....riiiiiiight, like that is easy to do.

The reason I didn't want to go out to dinner with Frank, was that I didn't want to have to worry about how I looked or anything. I wanted to relax, be myself, and wear my comfy clothes without being self-concious. Playing tennis was the perfect solution.

I think one of the best complements I ever recieved about how I look came from two of my aunts while I was on vacation. One evening I wore my BDU uniform for about an hour to show my relatives what it looked like, and my aunts both said to me "You look beuatiful in that uniform", and some other people agreed. At first I didn't understand, and thought it was an odd complement because I was wearing a uniform, and beauty and uniform are not two words that generally go together. I've come to grasp what they were saying a little better, after it was explained to me by everyone. The complement means so much to me because they saw something in me, as well as what I looked on the outside. I was not trying to look beatiful, in fact, that was the furthest thing from my mind, but they saw in me an inner beauty that was reflected to them on the outside while I was wearing the uniform. It was not a model's beauty, it was my beauty.

Usually I try and stay away from writing about looks. It generally makes me feel shallow, however, this one time I'll let an entry slide by.

On a different note, should I start adding titles to each post? Most people do add titles, but I never have because I don't want to spend the time trying to think of a good title. It's something I'm debating.

This morning I got up around 10:30, made strawberry pancakes, and then watched Lance Armstrong win the time trial in the Tour de France. Around 1pm Betsy and I drove over to Christian's graduation party. I came back home a few hours later and worked on a few judo moves. Frank and I had made plans to go out for dinner in the evening, but when I was driving home from the graduation party, I found that I didn't really want to go out for dinner. I still wanted to see him, but wanted to do something else besides dinner. I called him, and when I told him that I wanted to do somthing besides dinner, he suggested tennis. That sounded perfect to me, so we went and played tennis together. I took tennis as my lifetime sport last fall, but haven't touched a racket since then. Frank was about the same skill level as myself, so we were perfect partners. I won the first match, won the first 3 games of the second match, and then he came from behind and managed to win the second match, although it was close. Then I came home and made danish puff for breakfast tomorrow morning.

One night when I was around the age of six I remember going to my dad and asking him if it was considered murder for a soldier to kill someone in a war. I don't remember what he said, but his answers satisfied me and took away my concerns about dealing with that if I was a soldier.

When I was around 12 I was on a confermation retreat with my church youth group. Over the course of the weekend there was an ongoing game between the guys and the girls over water spray bottles. The girls would try and steal the guy's spray bottles and hide them, and the guys would do the same to us. One afternoon someone was in the process of stealing a spray bottle and was caugth. A big scuffle ensued in the hall, and the next week at Church I found out that in the middle of the scuffle I apparently had managed to hit a boy in the eye and had given him a black eye. When I found that out I was so distrought that I went upstairs and cried. I felt terrible for hurting him.

I am being trained in how to kill people, yet I can not even manage to kill and ant without feeling that I am being cruel. Over the years I have noticed that I can not bear seeing people hurt one another, or hurt any living thing for that matter. I don't know what a better word or term is for it, but that closest I can come up with at this time is that I do not like the offensive position*. What I mean by that is a position when action is taken for the sake of gaining the upperhand in cruel, harsh, or inhuman ways, or for senseless, power-craving, greedy reasons. To kill or hurt something just for the sake of killing or hurting it, to kill or hurt the defensless and weak, to hurt or tourture for the sake of gratifying a thirst for power or ego, to be inhuman in anyway; I despise it all and anyone who follows that route.

What I fight for, what I am willing to kill for as a soldier, what drives me, is the defensive position*. I have always wanted to be in the army because I want to defend my country and those I love against those people in the offensive position. I do not think twice about smashing a bug that is trying to bite me, or fighting off someone attacking me, as long as I do not exceed just force. I may have reservations about even killing an ant on a counter top, or a spider in a shower, but I have no problem with the idea of killing to protect and defend my country and my family, and myself from those who seek to hurt us. Hopefully that will never be required of me, but I never know, given my future occupation. What I can say is that I will not tolerate cruelty or inhuman acts in either myself or in others.

In my three years at west point, I don't believe I have ever once been taught anything different than I have said above about when and how to fight. I do not see the army, or our country, as being an offensive force, in terms of my definition. That is why I am proud that I am part of the army and have the opportunity to serve and protect my country.


* I made up my own definitions. The terms offensive and defensive are not being used like the definition of offensive and defensive for sports, or for military positions. I made up my own definitions.