Bath Success

Dear Ava,

Last night you have a very successful bath. You almost seemed to enjoy it and amazing did not cry at all!

The success may be due to a number of factors to include a different baby bath tub, a foam bath tub insert to keep you warm, a higher water level, and the white noise of water running.

The bath tub I used in the bath disaster of August 2013 was a First Years Infant to Toddler bath tub with newborn sling.  Both times I used the tub you screamed bloody murder. The sling was cold and awkward to use, the water level wasn't high enough, and overall it was a miserable experience for both of us.

Yesterday I stumbled upon the Primo Euro-Bath and loved what I read in the reviews. One twenty percent off coupon later to Bye Bye Baby it was ours.

Getting ready for the bath and posing for pictures to send to daddy. Grandma F is holding you.

There wasn't a single cry heard from you the entire bath time. I was so proud of you and so thankful for the new bath tub.

Immediately post-bath.

 

While you didn't poop in the bath water this time, you did keep up your tradition of pooping in the towel sans diaper while Grandma F is holding you right after the bath.

I think this was the second or third time that has occurred. Perhaps we should get a diaper on you a bit quicker.

Though Grandma F loves you so much, I am sure she could live without being pooped on regularly.

Since this last bath was so pleasant, I am almost looking forward to your next bath. Maybe it really can be a relaxing, enjoyable bonding experience for us.

The Bath...Oh the Trauma!

Dear Ava,

I would look concerned/wary too if I was the one about to hear THE BATH story. Yes, all capital letters is justified for the title of story of the trauma I inflicted on you that night. 

Your most recent future therapy causing trauma began a few evenings ago on the 17 min drive home from your cousin's house.

Your diaper was quite poopy and you were not at all happy about having to sit in it. Plus, having emptied your bowels you were also hungry, so even after the diaper change you were still upset.

I did my best to change your diaper and feed you as quickly as possible once we arrived home, but I have not perfected (or even tried) the diaper change while feeding technique...if such a thing even exists. 

Unfortunately, there was more trauma yet to come.

After you were fed you had a bath. Not just any bath either. Your first bath in your own baby bath tub. It was also your first bath with me not having any additional assistance.

It started off pretty well for the first two minutes...then, I actually started the bath. 

You did no appreciate having your hair washed and let me know it by crying.

Then you pooped.

It of course was the very loose, diarrhea-like mustard yellow infant poop that gets everywhere. Since you were in the newborn sling in the baby bath the poop mostly pooled in the sling.

I lifted you out and did my best to try to keep you warm while I dumped the bath water, rinsed the sling, wiped you off since you had been sitting in the poo, and then reassembled everything. In dumping out the bathwater into the main tub, however, it meant that there was baby poop floating all over the big tub now even though you infant tub was poop free.

Ignoring the poop filled large tub, I decided to continue on with your bath. The sling was wet and cold when I put you back in it which made you even more upset and scream that much louder.

From then on everything would've gone just fine, save for a strange running water noise I heard coming from the vicinity of the toilet. I had the shower running (not on you), so I just assumed the running water had something to do with the shower and not the toilet.

It wasn't until I was getting out out of the bath and drying you off that I noticed the floor seemed very wet around the toilet. In fact, the whole toilet looked extremely wet.

Sometime during the poop incident I leaned against the handle of the Biffy Toilet Bidet thereby turning it on. Though the toilet lid was down, the water still sprayed up, hit the lid, and then sprayed out the sides of the gap between the lid and seat and onto everything nearby.

Your look of shock and concern is very appropriate. 

Since I knew I already had a bathtub to clean later, I decided getting you to bed was my top priority. Cleaning the poop-filled bathtub and drenched toilet and floor could wait until after you were asleep.

Thankfully, when I returned to the scene of the bath disaster an hour or so later the clean-up looked much more manageable to me.

That said, I completely understand if you were traumatized by the whole experience and later in life join a religious order that abstains from bathing (though I have no idea if such a thing exists). Hopefully the new bath tub I bought you today will work out better for you. 

Double Gold Star

Dear Ava,

You were born three weeks ago yesterday. You seem so much older to me than 22 days because 22 days seems like such a short amount of time. Plus, you have grown so much in the past 22 days.

When getting you dressed for church I discovered that is too long for your newborn sleeper now.

Here you are wearing your first 0-3 month clothes.

Yesterday was full of other firsts as well. By quarter to ten in the morning I had make up on and my hair straightened. Granted, I was not dressed yet, but that is easier to accomplish. In my book that in itself is a gold star deserving accomplishment. 

We also made it to the 11 AM church service almost on time. Instead of coming in midway through the homily (sermon), we arrived during the second reading.

The past couple of Sundays we ended up going to a 5 PM service at a different church because making it out of bed, let alone both of us dressed and presentable in the morning was too much to ask. Double gold start for us making it to the early service!

Even if we had gone to the later service I wouldn't have minded. I am very grateful that both churches have a very vibrant, faith filled community. In fact, the homily from the 5 PM service a few weeks ago has stuck with me. Perhaps I'll write about it later.

You slept for most of the service, but even when you woke up you were alert and quiet.  That is particularly surprising because once we arrived home I discovered you had a full diaper. You HATE dirty diapers with a passion and are usually very good about letting me know if you are at all wet or poopy.

I'm slowly adjusting to your schedule, which means you will likely change it on me very soon. Ah well. It keeps me on my toes.

Friends and Family Day

Dear Ava,

Most days we are fortunate if I am showered and dressed by 5 PM and we make it out of the house for a quick errand by 7 PM.

However, one day this past week we were out of the house twice, with the first time being around 11:30 PM. Granted, showering was not involved prior to that first trip, but I will take what I can get.

Our trip out in the wee hours of the morning (that being anytime before noon) consisted of going to visit our wonderful and amazing friend Angelique and her adorable almost four month old son.

Angelique is one of the most outgoing, thoughtful, giving people I know.

She invited us over for a very delicious lunch just when I really needed to get out of the house for a bit. I had never thought of using zucchini as a spaghetti substitute, but it was really good.

She also volunteered to watch you the next day and made a haircut appointment for me at the salon she goes to when I mentioned that my hair really needed to be trimmed and I didn't know how I would accomplish that anytime soon.

Though a family emergency prevented her from babysitting you, it was so kind and thoughtful of her to offer and I appreciated her help with the salon appointment. Grandma F. stepped in and watched you instead (Thank you!!!).

Later that same evening we went out for frozen custard with Grandma F and all of your aunts, uncles, and cousins on my side of the family. It was the feast day of the saint for whom you have a cousin named and so a little celebration was in order.

I tried to take pictures, but only a couple were even close to being in focus since I was holding you at the same time.

You have a lot of catching up to do compared to your cousin who is five weeks older than you.

I hope that fist of yours isn't because you are plotting how to win the size war, because she is more than likely destined to be much taller than you.

Not that you will be short by any means, but her parents are overall taller than your dad and I. Plus, while you started off wearing newborn size socks, she started off wearing the 6-12 months size socks. Having grown up as the shortest and the youngest of my own tall immediate family I can assure you that it is a bearable cross.

Stretch!

Dear Ava, 

If the Olympics had an overhead arm stretch event I think you would be a contender for a gold medal.

Here you are demonstrating the One Arm Overhead Stretch, Left. Note the level of intensity and concentration required in this event. The extension of the arm and roundness of the fist is superb!

However, your One Arm Overhead Stretch, Right, still needs a lot of work. There isn't nearly the same level of concentration and effort seen in this one and your form reflects it.

Moving on to the Two Arm Overhead Stretch. This is your money maker. Your form, near perfect. You start the stretch long and wide. Once again, great left hand fist form. 

Then you flawlessly bring the stretch in closer to your head.

Finally, to end the stretch you have near synchronization with the arms as you bring them down. Bravo!

If only I could capture your amazing skills on something other than my iPhone. 

42 Weeks

Dear Ava,

Happy almost 42 or so weeks of age!

I think the Korean's have a more accurate age system then we do in the West. In the Korean age system, when you are born you are already thought of as one year old. The system gets a little more complicated from there, but thinking of a person as one year old from the moment they are born sure makes a lot more sense to me than discounting the previous 40 or so weeks of their life.

From the moment you were conceived I was your mother and Joseph was your father. The fact that we did not yet know about you does not preclude the fact that you existed, you existed as a member of our family, and you were already growing and developing at an extremely rapid rate.

Here you are sucking your thumb around 20 weeks:

When I told both your dad and Grandma P. about you I used the present tense saying "you are a dad" and "you are a Grandma". That is because you already existed and were developing as a completely unique individual. Whether or not I was conscious of your existence before then, my body was already nurturing you, feeding you, and taking care of you as a mother. Even if I had miscarried or you were stillborn it would not negate the fact that you existed and carried half of my genes and half of Joseph's genes as our child.

Unfortunately, most people don't think like that. They count motherhood and fatherhood as beginning when you are born. One coworker even corrected me when I called Joseph a father before you were born.

While being a mother and father changes dramatically at birth, it also changes quite dramatically at many other stages of life. Sending a son or daughter off to college, or watching them marry, or even going through every parent's worst nightmare and having to bury a son or daughter doesn't change that a person was and still is a mother and a father. The responsibilities change, but the relationship tie/bond/genetic code can never be broken despite how hard some people may try.

From the moment you were conceived I am your mother, Joseph is your father, and you are forever part of our family. So, whether you like it or not you're stuck with us. I'll put some more money in the therapy savings fund for you.

Heat Wave

Dear Ava,

Despite a heat index over 100 degrees and the house not having central AC working, we are downstairs because I can only take so much of being cooped up in our cool room. That and the outfit I have you in is better suited for the warm house.

Someday I hope to learn all the ins and outs of taking decent photographs with my camera. Today, I am playing around with it without adjusting any settings or trying too hard to focus.

Please ignore my double chin. I still have a lot of baby weight to lose. Perhaps we will go walk around the gym track later.

Even out of focus you are incredibly cute.

 Please don't grow up too fast.

AC Failure

Dear Ava,

You slept so well last night. Grandma F and I were all set for another sleepless night when you surprised us by only waking up at 2 AM, 5 AM, and 7 AM to nurse and then fell back to sleep. It helped that our room was not impacted by the central AC unit failure like the rest of the house. We have our own window AC unit in the room because I would get quite warm while pregnant with you. We camped out in our room for the majority of the day since there is a heat wave hitting the area right now.

Even though you slept so well last night, making it to the 11 AM church service was too much of a stretch for me in my own sleep deprived state. Instead, we once again showed up to the 5 PM service 15 minutes late. One of these days/years I will figure out how to get us there on time.

One thing that we did accomplish today, or maybe it was last night, was talking to Joe/daddy on Skype. As much as I miss him, I am very thankful that we are not in Korea with him at the moment. He is battling a huge black mold outbreak in his place. He was up until 2 AM washing down his walls with a diluted bleach solution the day he got back to Korea. Thankfully, by the time we go visit him the black mold should not be an issue. Hopefully, that time is sooner rather than later. I miss him and I know he really misses you.

Pajamas

Dear Ava,

What is the right room temperature and number/type of clothing layers for you at night? I have spent more than a couple hours of your short life awake at night worrying that you are either going to overheat or be too cold. The result is that I often end up changing one or more pieces of your clothing in the middle of the night even though I am not sure you actually were too hot or too cold. Someday I hope to be able to put you to sleep without worrying about what you are wearing and the temperature of the room. I think that day may be when you are 30 or 40. Please try to be understanding when I show up at your college dorm room with a set of pajamas with feet for you to wear at night. I will start putting aside some money now for all the years of therapy you will need because of my inability to figure out the perfect sleep attire and room temperature for you. 

Microphone Practice?

Dear Ava, 

You make such cute faces. I love how your yawn looks like you are practicing holding and singing into a microphone. 

Microphone Practice?

Dear Ava, 

You make such cute faces. I love how your yawn looks like you are practicing holding and singing into a microphone. 

 
 

 

 

Sleep Cycle

Dear Ava,

Grandma F and I gave you another bath last night in hopes that you would sleep better. You still think that Midnight to 4 AM is the optimal time to be wide awake, checking out the world, eating, and filling diaper after diaper. You also think that the afternoon is the best time to fall into a deep sleep. Grandma F and I are on a mission to try to get your circadian rhythm better adjusted so that we can get some sleep at night.

I didn't take any pictures of your bath this time, but daddy did take a couple pictures of your previous bath:

You slowly seem to be adjusting to the idea of a bath. Granted, you still cry a lot, but it didn't seem as intense this time. Or maybe it is that I am more used to you crying during a bath. Grandma F just read me something she found online that states "bath time is often a time of fun and bonding for parents and baby". Clearly, the people writing that article have never tried to bath a newborn.

While you may still cry during a bath, I do know for sure that you are adjusting to having a shirt put on over your head. The first time daddy and I put a onesie on you by placing it over your head when we were coming home from the hospital you screamed bloody murder. Your reaction scarred me to the point where I haven't clothing on over your head until recently. You've been so skinny up until now that it has been easy to put clothing on feet first, but you are slowly starting to plump up and I don't know how much longer I can put onesies on you that way. Though you still cried a little when I put a onesie on you today by putting it over your head, it was a very short cry and not nearly as loud or dramatic as the first time.

Grandma F is holding you at the moment and it looks like you may be in your very deep sleep. While you look really cute when you sleep (and every other moment of time as well), please please please try to get some sleep tonight. 

First Mommy & Daughter Outing

Dear Ava, 

We made our first solo trip out yesterday. Just you and me...and the BMW. I'd been wanting to go to Target for a few days, but the sleepless nights got in the way of accomplishing much during the day. Today, however, I have been a lot more productive as I try to keep my mind off the fact that your dad is currently in a plane flying to the other side of the world. After straightening up our room, organizing your clothes, and doing other small tasks around the house I finally decided to take the plunge and go to Target with you. 

The was a major event not only because it was our first solo outing, but also because it was the our first solo outing with the BMW. We bought the BMW just a few days after you were born. We needed a bigger car, your dad wanted to ensure we were safe and didn't have to worry about vehicle maintenance, and he absolutely loves BMWs. I am still trying to figure out how he talked me into us buying the X5 (it cost a lot!), but I love the safety, size, and no hassle maintenance. 

Yesterday was the first time I drove it, and that was only around the block with your dad sitting in the passenger seat making sure I understood all of the controls and features. I refused to drive the car for the first time with you in it. Driving an expensive car carrying priceless cargo (you) would have been too much for me, especially since it was raining yesterday.

Our first family car: 

On a side note, occasionally when you nurse you have really cute poses, like the one right now where your hands are folded together up against your left cheek. I immediately think about taking a picture, but thankfully realize that I would be showing the world much more of myself then I am comfortable with in said picture. Oh well.

The trip to Target went very well. You slept almost the entire time and also survived being alone in the second row of the car. On every other car trip of your life someone (mostly me) sat back there with you. I think it was more for daddy's and my piece of mind rather than your needing someone back there. 

You are definitely growing and changing. Your head is bigger today than it was even yesterday. The was another newborn at Target and to me you seemed older and bigger than her. It is amazing to watch you change and grow even though you are only 12 days old. 

Seeing Joe Off

Dear Ava,

This morning we dropped your daddy off at the airport. I managed to not cry until we arrived at the airport, but then the waterworks started. It is a good thing he was driving because I probably would have turned the car around with him in it and driven back home. His goodbye to you was very sweet, though you managed to sleep through it. Yesterday he asked if he could take you back to Korea with him. I wish we were all going there together, or all staying here. When we arrived home I took you upstairs to feed you and I proceeded to cry for a while. You will look so different the next time he sees you in person. You will no longer be a teeny tiny newborn with limbs that look so frail and thin. Already, you cheeks, chin, and tummy seem to be plumping up a bit and you look a little older each day. Do you have to gow up so quickly?

Snuggling while missing Joe/Daddy:

First Growth Spurt

Dear Ava, 

Today is your daddy's last full day in the States before he returns to Korea. We most likely will not see him again until November. I had hoped that our little family could enjoy some time out of the house together during his last two days, but I did not account for or even know about your first growth spurt at 10 days of age. 

You are currently sleeping peacefully in my arms as I sit downstairs in the living room.  You appear so peaceful, but appearances are deceiving. The price I am paying for this peace is in the form of the purple pacifier in your mouth....which you just spit out. I had hoped to go with the recommendation to wait until you are 4 weeks or so of age before introducing one, but as with most things so far, reality laughs at my plans. I am guessing the next round of feedings will soon commence. 

Briefly calm after a feeding during the growth spurt:

The two hour break between the end of the last feeding and now is greatly appreciated. I was able to eat, shower, get laundry started, and organize a bit while grandma held you. Unfortunately, I did not sleep. 

Sleep is something both your daddy and I have not had much of recently. From midnight to 1:30pm you nursed at least every hour, if not twice an hour, and would not sleep unless you were held. Daddy and I caved at 7am and enlisted Grandma Fenton's help to hold you in-between feedings so that we could get short catnaps. Beware of the growth spurt that happens at 7-10 days old!

Ava's preferred way to sleep:

The two hour break starting at 1:30 pm is due to Grandma F asking if I was philosophically opposed to pacifiers. Despite my wishes to delay giving you one, Daddy and I had already tried sometime in the wee hours of the morning. You sucked on it for maybe 2 minutes before spitting it out and becoming even angrier. However, when Grandma F gave it a try and it worked! I would say that my plan is to not give you pacifiers very often, but since all my plans seem to go out the window I am not making any such plan. 

Seeing Joe Off

Dear Ava,

This morning we dropped your daddy off at the airport. I managed to not cry until we arrived at the airport, but then the waterworks started. It is a good thing he was driving because I probably would have turned the car around with him in it and driven back home. His goodbye to you was very sweet, though you managed to sleep through it. Yesterday he asked if he could take you back to Korea with him. I wish we were all going there together, or all staying here. When we arrived home I took you upstairs to feed you and I proceeded to cry for a while. You will look so different the next time he sees you in person. You will no longer be a teeny tiny newborn with limbs that look so frail and thin. Already, you cheeks, chin, and tummy seem to be plumping up a bit and you look a little older each day. Do you have to gow up so quickly?

Snuggling while missing Joe/Daddy

 

Ava's First Growth Spurt

Dear Ava, 

Today is your daddy's last full day in the States before he returns to Korea. We most likely wont see him again until November. I had hoped that our little family could enjoy some time out of the house together during his last two days, but I did not account for or even know about you first growth spurt at 10 days of age. 

Ava and Daddy

You are currently sleeping peacefully in my arms as I sit downstairs in the living room.  You appear so peaceful, but appearances are deceiving. The price I am paying for this peace is in the form of the purple pacifier in your mouth....which you just spit out. I had hoped to go with the recommendation to wait until you are 4 weeks or so of age before introducing one, but as with most things so far, reality laughs at my plans. I am guessing the next round of feedings will soon commence. 

Briefly calm after a feeding during the growth spurt

The two hour break between the end of the last feeding and now is greatly appreciated. I was able to eat, shower, get laundry started, and organize a bit while grandma held you. Unfortunately, I did not sleep. 

Sleep is something both your daddy and I have not had much of recently. From midnight to 1:30pm you nursed at least every hour, if not twice an hour, and would not sleep unless you were held. Daddy and I caved at 7am and enlisted Grandma Fenton's help to hold you in-between feedings so that we could get short catnaps. Beware of the growth spurt that happens at 7-10 days old!

Ava's preferred way to sleep

The two hour break starting at 1:30 pm is due to Grandma  Fenton asking if i was philosophically opposed to pacifiers. Despite my wishes to delay giving you one, Daddy and I had already tried sometime in the wee hours of the morning. you sucked on it for maybe 2 minutes before spitting it out and becoming even more mad. However, when Grandma Fenton gave it a try and it worked! I would say that my plan is to not give you pacifiers very often, but since all my plans seem to go out the window I am not making any such plan.