I have all new tires on my jeep :)

It's snowing! Realy snowing, not just flurrying, with big flakes that stick to the ground. Yay :)

This morning I woke up at 6 to go volunteer at the Salvation Army a few towns away. Jim, Chris, Jay(?), and I shoveled gravel on a driveway for four hours. It was a good workout, and the driveway looked much better once we were done. I made it back to West Point just in time to be picked up by Mrs D., my ocf group leader, to eat lunch at her house with her and the kids. It was delicous, and I enjoyed meeting the kids again. After that I had about an hour to relax/get ready to go to the Passion concert in NYC with Jim and Joey. The concert was really good, except I have an Africa in my life that I'm having trouble with.
Plus, my mind was wandering a lot. It's been doing that more recently when I pray, and I don't like it. I want to be focused on God, not on anything else. So frustrating.

An Africa is something that you are worried God will ask you to do if you give your whole life to him. It comes from people being worried that God will tell them that he wants them to give up everything and go be a missionary in Africa.

I'm the founding member of CFBG(IF), Cadets For Black Gloves (In Formation). So far there is a membership of about five or six. Everyone I've told about it has agreed to join.

What is wrong with wearing black gloves at lunch formation? Is it against the law? It's 37 degrees out (26 degrees this morning, but we got to wear black gloves). I don't mind cold weather...if my hands and feet are warm. When I was little I could go out and run around in the snow in shorts and a t-shirt because my hands were warm. I naturally have cold hands and feet, but if they are warm, I am warm. Now, when it is cold out and I have a choice of what to wear, I know how to wear clothes that don't let the cold and the wind seep right through them. The As For Class uniform, however, is not made that way, and even the slightest bit of wind or cold air zips right on through.

CONGRATULATIONS ANNE!

Anne, one of my best friends, won a Marshall Scholarship. I'm so happy for her. She's worked extremely hard for it, and I am so proud of her. YAY ANNE!

During Beast I thought my dream job would be sitting in an air conditioned office at a desk all day, but now I think that would be a nightmare unless it was a job that I really really loved, and understand. Perhaps that is my biggest problem. Most of my experiance with having to sit at a desk all day, or at least for long stretches at a time, has been while doing things I don't understand and feel frustrated and clueless as to how to go about understanding/accomplishing them. Thus, I can't wait for the end of the day when I can leave that desk behind and get outside into the fresh air.

This all relates to my senior capstone project. I feel a little like a useless third wheel, that is a square, not a circle. I just sit there.

And on that note, I leave Monday with my project partners to go to a conference on PKI in Orlando and present our project to the NSA, DOD, and whoever else wants to listen in.

Happy 200th night :)

Forgiveness, what an amazing gift.

1) release from bondage or imprisonment

2) forgiveness or pardon, of sins (letting them go as if they had never been committed), remission of the penalty

(Strongs)

The view from my window is beautiful.

Last night when I I got back to West Point after the race it was about 11:30 pm. I went and put some trash in a garbage can, and when I looked up all I could say was "Wow!" The night sky in front of me appeared to envelop the earth, and the stars in the sky were more dazzeling then I remembered. I spent the walk to my room with my head tilted up towards the sky looking at all the stars.

BTW, my boat got 4th in our race, and beat every other college/university team in the race. It was club teams that got us. Don't they know that is what the club entry is for?

Whatever happened to wearing gloves?

It is 42 degrees out right now and the uniform for lunch formation is BDU's. Not BDU's under field jacket, not even Bdu's wearing gloves. No, just BDU's...with the first class wearing sabers.

I just happened upon a friend, Charlie's, away messages, and it seemed to speak directly to me.

you're never really ready
you never have time,
you make time,
you're never mature enough

I doubt he had any idea that when he put that up as his away message it would speak to someone, let alone me, but it did, especially in regards to a post from a few days ago. Not that it really changes anything, but it's food for thought.

The meeting with Amanda and Mrs. D. was just what I needed to get me through today. Today was our first weekly meeting where we get together for an hour of discussion, Bilble Study, and prayer. It was great.

Today is acting like a Wednesday.

A couple of weeks, or maybe it was months, ago I wrote about how I had decided that "I wanted to try and not focus on guys/relationships and not date anyone for at least the next three months." Well, over the past three months I've done a lot of praying, thinking, and reading, and come to some realizations about myself and where I am. I used to think that I was ready for a relationship, and that the only thing I was waiting for was for the right guy to show up. However, I now believe that even if Mr. Right did show up right now I'd have to send him away and tell him to come back later.

Although I still sometimes wish I were in a relationship right now, most of the time I no longer feel that longing. That is not to say that I do not hope to one day be in one, however, I am not mature enough to be in one, nor do I have the time or energy for one at the moment.

When I say that I am not mature enough for a relationship, what I am mostly talking about is spiritually maturity. This semester I've been trying to put God first, draw closer to Him, read the Bible more, grow in my faith, and learn as much as I can. I've felt like God has been telling me that I'm in a period of growing and waiting right now, and to focus my time on Him and not even look for a relationship.

I know that if a guy entered the picture right now I would not be able to handle it, because I would end up letting the time I spent with either God or the guy slip, and it most likely would be God. Therefore, I have no interest in a relationship at the moment.

I don't know how long this period will last for me, but I am fine with however long it takes, as long as God remains number one in my life.

I need to learn how to love God and others, and also accept God's love.
I need to learn how to put God first at all times in all things.
I need to have a more personal relationship with Jesus.
I need to grow in my faith and become more firm in my beliefs.

Any thoughts?

I voted, did you?

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

I love fall.

It's been a long night. I'm not a fan of windows update, and neither are the people in my company.

A new Joe Bear episode is posted.


Thank you Heidi and S. Woods for both of your gift certificates. I really appreciate them and have a long list of books I want to buy :)