Giving Thanks

The more I hearfrom my friends in other units, especially fellow MI Lieutenants, and the things they were doing, the more I've started to envy them them. Last night as I was riding my bike back to my trailer after yet another day feeling like I wasn’t doing enough and grumbling in my mind, a verse from 1 Thessalonians popped into my head. "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)." My first reaction was of course, "No! I don’t want to give thanks. Why should I give thanks? Other people are doing cool and interesting things, but I’m stuck in an office feeling like a robot could do just as good of a job as I’m doing."

1 Thessalonians kept repeated in my head all the way back to my room, but my attitude hadn’t changed. I knew I was in the wrong, and that God has specifically placed me where I am for a reason, although I may not know that reason, but I still didn’t want to give thanks.
Since misery loves company I decided to see if one of my friends was in her trailer so that I could go vent to her about my job. She wasn’t there, and that probably turned out to be a good thing. I know that she isn’t too happy in her job, and so my telling her about my problems would most likely only serve to get us both complaining. Starting a complaining session the opposite of what Paul said to do in Ephesians 4:29 when he wrote, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

After having not succeeded in talking to my friend, I went back to my room and decided to hash it out with God, which is what I should’ve done in the first place. It started out as a one sided conversation with me telling him why I was unhappy. Two things came to mind in the midst of my talking to Him: Repent and give thanks, so that is what I did. I repented for my grumbling, for comparing myself to others and being envious of them and their job, and also seeking an escape in things (sleep, the growing candy stash in the TOC, and complaining to friends) instead of turning to God. Next I asked God to change me or change my job. It’s a simple prayer, but has a lot of power. Finally I started to give thanks. It was still hard to do at first, so I decided to find a few verses about being thankful:

-Colossians 3:17, 23
- Daniel 6:10
- Philippians 2:14

Once I started thanking God for my job I started to see it in a new light. Right now I have periods where I am very busy, but also periods where I don’t have much to do in the TOC. During those less active periods I am able to read the Bible and other books that help me grow in my faith and relationship with Christ. One more thing to be thankful about is that I have the opportunity to be a witness specifically to those I work with through how I live out my faith in daily life. Early on they noticed that I don’t swear and don’t join in with crude jokes. They also noticed I was, as one of the NCO put it, "very religious." I don’t know if it because I am the only female in the TOC, or if it is because I am a Christian, but I’ve heard it said more than once, "it’s a good thing you’re in here ma’am, because otherwise the language would be a lot worse." My witness may be small, but at least it’s a start and something to be thankful about.

It Works!

It's amazing, the internet in my room is working and it is relatively fast. This is very unusual.

Today I recieved my combat patch. Still kinda weird to think that I graduated west point less than a year ago and graduated OBC 29 days before I deployed. Some more of my classmates are in Iraq. I just saw Jordan at lunch, but only got to say hi to her briefly. My OBC class has been keeping in touch with each other. Hearing some of the stuff other people are doing makes me wonder how much I'm realy doing. I wish I could get out there more, but don't know if that's going to happen.

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day! My family, I love and miss you all. Last week I got a valentines day card from Aunt Kathy and today I got a card and fun size thing of peanut m&ms from a couple who sent them to everyone in the BN.

Running the Race

Yesterday I had another day of rest. Once again it was very nice. I really felt God speaking to me at each of the services I attended. I have to say I didn't really want to hear some of the stuff He was saying because He was asking me to go outside my nice Christianity comfort zone and step out in faith. At the 1230 protestant service during the first portion, which is singing, the songs were great songs, Rob was doing a great job leading, but it seemed like pulling peoples teeth to get them to worship God. The congreation just wasn't joining in. I felt God asking me to step out in faith and play along on the bongo drums, but I balked and made up the excuse that I had never played them before and didn't want to sound horrible. He wasn't buying my excuse, but I never did pick up the bongo drums. I was afraid to step out, to go outside my Christianity comfort zone and actually let God use me and lead me. I actually ended up getting down on my knees during the singing and
started praying for God help me surrender everything to Him and to trust Him to lead me when I am outside my comfort zone and have only Him to look to.

I think God was really speaking to me, because then the message during the service was on Joshua 3-4, about how God commanded the Israelites to build a memorial after crossing the Jordan. When they had crossed the Red Sea it signified their first coming to Christ, kind of like the first time someone accepts Jesus as their savior. They had the pillar of clouds or the pillar of fire leading them. Then, after wandering aroudn the desert for 40 years they were crossing the Jordan, but this time they was not a pillar of clouds or column of fire mentioned, but isntead the priests carrying the ark of the covenant ahead of them. They were crossing into the unknown, knowing that they were finally headed tot he promised land, but that there were most likely enemies they would encouter along the way. The crossing the Jordan marked the end of their wandering around in the desert and accepting God completely. The chaplain used it as an analogy as someone going from accepting Chris
t as their savior, to them accepting him as their Lord and Savior and turning everything over to Him. It seemed to fit what I had just experianced. I've asked God to help me turn everything over to Him before, but over time I've slowly reached back to try and gain control. I'm at that spot again where I need to hand everything over and be willing to go and do whatever God asks me no matter the cost. Perhaps I'll be playing bongo drums next Sunday.

On another topic, tomorrow is Valentines Day. Happy Valentines Day! While listenting to people tell about what Valentines day gifts they are sending to their wives and girlfriends back home it's easy to get caught up in feeling sorry for myself in being single, but there are two things that keep coming to mind. One is the Joe Bear episode I made last Valentines Day. As silly as it may be, it serves as a good reminder to me about what is really important. The other thing that keeps coming to mind last year, which is that the way to seek a spouse is to run towards Christ with every ounce of your being and then look to your right and left and see who can keep up. In the past I've found myself be in a relationship where the other person is moving at more of a slow walk, if that. I'm through slowing down for anyone or anything, I'm looking for someone who is also running towards Christ with everything they've got. I don't say spriting though because spriting implies you go
really fast, but it's only for a short time and eventually you either slow down a lot, or stop.

Enough of my somewhat deep thoughts.

One last note. I showed Christy the Joe Bear site and she wants to help out on a new episode. Now I just have to think of the story line and figure out how to ensure there are no OPSEC violations in making it.

Mondays

Even though every day is just like every other day, Mondays are still the worst. On Mondays I have to prepare an short intel presentation on the routes we've traveled or are going to travel recently. It really shouldn't be that hard to prepare, but for some reason it puts me in a rather bad mood. My head usually hurst by the end of the day after preparing the briefing, and it's not because I've been doing too much analysis. In fact, I hardely get a chance to do much analysis at all because I'm focused on making sure I have all the times and placements correct and that I'm not missing any Sigacts. Ah well, it is my job so I shouldn't complain.

Not So Far Away

The other day I was walking back from lunch with some of the other lieutenants when I spotted a smooth rock on the ground next to a large puddle of water. As I reached down to pick the rock up we were suddenly transported back to the states standing by the edge of a smooth lake skipping rocks. We watched as the rock hopped across the top of the water creating little ripples as it went, and with each ripple our thoughts went back to our family and friends back in the states. For a moment home didn’t seem so far away. The magic ended as the rock sank to the bottom and we were once again in Iraq, standing beside a puddle, heading back to work.

The Past Week

Recently I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying, but haven't really felt in the mood to write. I still don't feel much like writing, but perhaps I will once I start going.

I had a day of rest on Sunday, which was wonderful. I slept in and then read in bed for a bit. On my way to the 10am Mass I stopped by the phones and called home. After Mass I quickly popped my head in the TOC to make sure everything was fine. I then met up with Christy and Dan and went to lunch which was followed by going to the Protestant Contemporary service. After the service I went back to my room, watched 24, and finally guilted myself into getting up and heading to the gym for a bit. The day was very relaxing and I'm really looking forward to my next day of rest.

I received two DVDs from Heidi last week:) So far I've made it halfway through Cheaper By The Dozen. This version of the movie is much more true to the book than the new movie with that name, but the book, in both cases, is still my favorite.

My bike arrived a few days ago and I had help assembling it yesterday. I've only ridden it once so far because we're supposed to be getting rain tonight and tomorrow.

The deployment hasn't cured my book addiction. I purchased four more books on Amazon.com today and should get them in a week or two. Finding a bookcase, or some way to make a makeshift bookcase, is becoming a neccessity. Although I've started a new book collection I haven't been reading nearly as much as usual because each night I choose between watching 24 and reading, and so far 24 has won out more often then not.

Not much else is new here. Every day is groundhogs day. I have trouble distinguishing past days from one another.

It looks like I may have my 2 weeks home in March, but I'm not sure. It'd be nice to be home for my Dad's birthday if that is the month I'm going home. However, I'd most likely miss the Founders Day celebration that I've heard some people are putting together.

Jordan should be here soon. Yay:) I may not be able to see her very often because we're in different battalions and work different shifts, but it'll still be nice to know that at least one of my good friends from school/obc is here. Perhaps it'll work out that we can go to Church together. It's too bad though that she wasn't able to get in the same brigade as her husband.

Opposite of Previous Post

Holy Fire, burn away my desire for anything that is that is not of You and is of me...

Over the past few days it's come to my attention in a few ways that I have certain areas of my future all planned out. They are good plans in which I am trying to love and serve God, but they are plans of my own making and not Gods. I've gotten so stuck on trying to fit my life and future into my plans that I may be closing my eyes to what God has for me. When I realized I was doing this I had to sit down and give everything back over to Him. I asked him to destroy my plans if they are not from Him. Destroy sounds a bit extreme, but Id rather have what God has for me than what I think I want for myself. Its hard to do though. I find myself falling back into thinking about how I want things to turn out instead of turning it over to God. Yes, its okay to have dreams, hopes, wishes, and plans, but not to the point where I am blinded to where God is leading me.

Strong Reaction

This aftenoon I walked to lunch with one of the NCOs that I work with. Along the way he mentioned that a docotor told him that he has a tumor or cyst in his neck and it is the cause of some physical aliments he's experianced. As he went on about it I suddenly wanted to run away from the conversation. He didn't mention cancer or hygdkins disease, but him combining the words tumor and neck was enough to bring back thoughts of my mom, sisters, and cousin and their dealings with tumors in their neck.

I don't understand my reaction. My mom and sisters all beat cancer, and and far as I know my cousin is doing well, so why does even the mention of a possible tumor in the neck, in a totally unrelated thing, bring about such a strong reaction in me? I think it's because I'm left to my imagination about a lot of things. I was far to young to remember my mom having cancer, and I was a plebe at West Point when Heidi had cancer, and then a Firstie when Betsy went through it, and now I'm off in the Army while Erick goes through it. All I saw was the physical change in appreance as well as significant decrease in energy level/appitite caused by the radiation/chemo. As much as I try and rememeber the good things that have come about, I can't get over the people I love the most having cancer and dealing having to deal with the effects of it. Plus, in the back of my mind I wonder if I'll be the next to find a lump in my neck. I'm not worried about it, but more sick of not knowing. Part of me is certain I'll never have it, but the other intel part of me is looking at the pattern analysis and the time frames of when everybody else was diagnosed. I don't hate many things in this world, but I hate cancer. Is that wrong?

Title?

I'm still alive and well, but life has been a lot more hectic the past few days. Last week we worked out a day-off plan, and it's supposed to be approved 1 FEB, so I may be able to have a day off in the near future. It'll be nice to be able to sleep in, work out longer, and try once again to go to daily mass.

On Sunday I missed my usual Church serivice because I was doing last minute preperations for a briefing I had, but I was able to make it to the Protestant Contemporary Service. I really liked the service, praising God with other Christians, and the fellowship, although I definetly missed the sacrements. When the service ended I longed to stay there and pray, but had to get back to work. Later on after my shift ended I tried to go to evening Mass, but found that that is only on Saturday and not on Sunday. The past few days I've been reading the religious service schedule all wrong and showing up on the wrong days. I think next Sunday that I'll try and attend the PCS again, but also try and make it to Mass.

My roommate arrived yesterday. It turns out we had met before back at Hood and actually gone together to the range shortly before I deployed. Having a roommate now forces me to actually get up the first time my alarm goes off instead of pushing snooze a few times. We went to the gym together this morning and I lifted weights for the first time since crew season. Up until now I've just been doing cardio, abs, and push-ups. Truth be told, I was a bit nervous and intimidated started out again on the weights because standing next to me were guys lifting ten times as much. (slight exageration). It was a short weight work-out, but still felt good. Goodness, I'm turining into one of the guys and talking all about weight-lifting.

OCF'ers

Last night I kept thinking about OCF and I really missed OCF at West Point. I met such amazing, God-fearing, people through OCF and learned and grew so much. One thing I really miss is the Christian fellowship.

This morning I finally had a chance to go to daily Mass at 11am, which is something I've been wanting to attend ever since I found out about it. When I got to the Chapel I found there wasn't anybody else there except the Chaplain and one other person up at the front of the Chapel preparing something. I assumed he was the Chaplain's assistant, but when I went up to him to ask if there was still the service today I realized that it was actually a guy named Rob who was an '04 grad, at least I think he was '04. He may have been '03. He lead the OCF praise and worship team while at West Point. Apparently he now leads the Protestant contemporary service on Sundays. Just seeing someone familar from West Point and OCF, especially someone who has such a heart for Christ, really brightened my day. I wanted to stay and talk to him, but since I hadn't really known him all that well and he looked a bit busy I didn't want to keep him from anything he was doing. We talked for a few minutes and I mentioned that Jordan was on her way out here because he knew her, although he was suprised to find out that she'd gotten married. I'm glad to know that there are people like Rob here. Charlsey is also here. She was another '04 grad who was really active in OCF at West Point. We were able to talk a bit in Kuwait, but I've only run into her occasionally in passing at the DFAC here in Iraq. I hope I run into more people like Rob and Charlsey and am able to spend more time with them.

Oh, and it turns out that on Saturdays there is no 1100 Mass. It's at 2000.

On a different note, the Test message from a couple days ago was actually me testing if a posting method actually worked. Not really that exciting, although recently I have felt a bit tested in patience and restraint.

Just Another Day

I was just looking at some posts from back in October. OBC seems like so long ago even thought it was only just a few months. I miss being able to bake and bringing in the baked goods for my class.

I don't know why, but I feel rather emotionally drained at the moment. Perhaps it is in part due to having to figure out how to start over with my analysis and going back to the old fashion map and pin method. I don't think that is the only reason, but I really am not sure what the other reason would be. Actually, now that I think about yet (yes, I'm thinking again which probably isn't that good of a thing). I've been doing more deep thinking about things in my life the past few days, and that is probably in part what is wearing me out.

One reason that I am drawn to Catholicism is because it is deeply rooted and it challenges me intellectually. Now I'm not the brightest light bulb in the room, but the more I learn about the theology the more it makes sense. Now I may not even be properly explaining what I'm trying to say, as I said, I'm not the brightest bulb, but my point is that a lot of stuff with Catholicism makes sense and I see more meaning in certain things than I did before. I certainly haven't gone indepth on my thoughts here, but that's the jist of my thoughts.

No Good, Very Bad Day

In elementary school I read a book called <i>The No Good, Very Bad Day,</i> or something akin to that title. Today was a day like that. It actually started started out okay with a light workout, but as the day progressed it went downhill. My morning prayer time was shorter than I would have liked. Well, I suppose it's that way every morning, but today it was even shorter than usual. I had small lull in work and so I pulled out the Catechism of the Catholic Church and started reading some more of it. The fact that I was reading was noticed and it was then determined that if I had enough time to read then my work load should increase. That was when my day really started to go downhill. When I went to check up on the incidents going on in the area of operations the program I use the most decided to erase all of my data and not let me load any new data. I tried installing it on another computer, and the same thing happened. When I tried unistalling it and then reinstall
ing it the program would not even open for me. I've emailed the creator of the program and am praying he is able to fix the problem, because otherwise I won't be able to do half as much analysis as quickly and effectively as I have been able to do so far. That was the big bummer of my day.

Hmm, windows media player keeps freezing on my and won't let me play my DVD. I've finished the second season of 24, but am waiting a few days before I start the third season.

Yesterday I got a package in the mail from Rachel, and today I got a card in the mail from Adam. Both things were very nice to get. The package Rachel sent me had chocolate-caramel brownies that she had baked (and they survived the trip without getting stale, although she wrapped them in serane wrap and then double bagged them), two pictures of me with some friends, a book, and fruit cups. It was a great package to get :)

Test

25 JAN

I walked to lunch with two of the people in the S2/S3 section, but in the DFAC I saw Christy and Shawna and ate with them instead. I despretly needed a break from being surrounded by guys. There are also times like today when I wish I wasn't the only girl working in the TOC. At times it's very obvious to me that I'm in the minority. I should be used to it by now after having been in the female minority for some time, but at times such as today it gets to me and I just need to get away for a bit.

I'm really looking forward to Jordan getting here. It will be really nice to actually have someone here that I didn't just meet in the past month and be able to discuss things related to God, life here, relationships, and other stuff. I really miss the conversations that I used to have both with Charlie and with Anne. I wonder if Charlie has started Ranger school yet. Anne sent me a Christmas present and I got a Christmas card in the mail from her mom. Her mom also offered to start looking for publishers for me. She is very interested in getting the Joe Bear stories published. That would be cool, but I don't think they are good enough for that. I'll let her look if she wants to though.

Internet:)

Whoohoo! I'm using internet in my room right now. I should be sleeping at the moment because I only got 2 or so hours last night, but I can't sleep at the moment.

ON HIS PLAN FOR YOUR SPOUSE

ON HIS PLAN FOR YOUR SPOUSE

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly, and exclusively.

But God, to a Christian, says,

"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me, to having an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone, discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found,
will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be suited with another until you are united with me exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things, keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait. That's all.

Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things others have gotten or that I've given them.
Don't look at the things you think you want.
You just keep looking off and away up to me, or you'll miss what I want to show you.

And, when you're ready
I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would dream.
You see, until you are ready, (I am working even this moment to have both of you ready at the same time) until you are both satisfied exclusively with me
and the life I prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me, and is thus the perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love.
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me, and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you.
Believe it and be satisfied."

Author Unknown

Just Another Day

Good news, it's a four day weekend....back in the states. Here it's work work work as usual. I average a 12.5 hour work day, not including PT. I'm slowly getting adjusted to what I am supposed to do. Usually I have long periods of sitting at a computer trying to look productive followed by frantic work on a requirement that just came up, such as getting intel on a convoy route and preparing to brief it.

Thank you to everyone who has sent me letters and packages. I haven't recieved any of them yet, but I'm told they are on their way and I'm looking forward to getting them. Jordan M. found out that she's in the same Brigade Combat Team as me, so she may end up deploying to the same camp. I really hope if she does deploy she does come here, although it's too bad that she isn't in the same BCT as her husband Zack.

I've become addicted to the show 24. Each night I usually end up watching an episode before bed. I bought the first episode before I got here, finished it up on the trip from Kuwait to Iraq, and bought the next two episodes here in Iraq at the PX.

The food here is pretty good, although it's already starting to seem like the DFAC serves the same meal every other day. I also think they try to figure out the least healthy way to prepare the food, such as frying everything.

Just said by one of the NCOs I work with, "Anybody find it ironicaly funny that there is bird flu in Turkey?"

It's over.

I think I'm inept at relationships and going to remain single for the rest of my life.

Short Update

Time for a quick update. I decided not to get internet in my trailer room because I'd rather save the money. I did decide to buy a bike off someone leaving. Having a bike here makes life so much easier. The weather has been in the low 70s during the day nad the low 40s at night. So far it hasn't rained. The DFAC (where we eat) is amazing. There is also burger king, subway, cinabon, and a few other fast food places, as well as free baskin robbins in the DFAC.

Nick and I are at the same camp, but have only seen each other twice here in Iraq due to different schedules.

I'd write more, but my time is up on the computer.

Happy New Years Eve

Happy New Years Eve from Iraq. Everyone was right, it is nicer here where we are than where we were in Kuwait. Hopefully I'll be getting internet access in my trailer soon and be able to post more.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from Kuwait.

I hadn't expected rain here, but it rained the day I got here, rained yesterday, and rained today.

BTW, I'm dating a guy named Nick. He's a sweetie.

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane...Don't know when I'll be back again....

I'll try and keep this blog going, but I'm not sure when I'll next be able to post or how often after that. Hopefully Joe Bear will be joining me in Iraq eventually. Thanks for all of your prayers and support. Have a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year. God bless.

Getting Ready To Go

Today I went to the range and zeroed and qualified with my M16. As long as all goes well tomorrow with getting some shots and a bit of paperwork I should be deploying Thursday. I'm still holding my breath just in case something happens and I don't end up going until later. I asked to be put on this flight because I didn't want to have to wait until January to go. I'm tired to sitting around feeling like I don't have a purpose, although my feelings will probably change pretty quickly once I get over there and find myself wishing for a break.

Currently I am tired and want to go to bed, or at least sit and stare at the tv, but I keep of thinking of things that I need to do, such as pack. The hardest part about packing is trying to figure out what I'll need most readily accessible because that determines the order that I pack my bags. I also don't have a packing list, so I hope that I am taking everything I need. I know I need to make a trip to the store to buy a few comfort items, such as a pillow, but I really don't want to go right now. Plus, I'm sure I'll think of some things I need tomorrow and so I'll have to go back to the store. Once again I'm thinking too much and making life harder for myself.

Stressed About The Unknown

There's a chance that I could deploy in a very short time, but I'm not sure how big of a chance. I've heard all sorts if estimates ranging from now until the middle of January. I want to deploy, so when an NCO told me on Friday about my possibly getting on the next flight I called my commander to see if it would work. He made it sound like it could be possible, so I called my parents and told them about it. They are now down in Texas in case I do deploy. If I don't deploy this week or next week, then I will feel rather bad for having them come down for nothing. I really hope this works out. It's stressing me out not knowing anything for sure, although I'm sure that is something I need to get used to.

Another thing stressing me out is that I'm doing PT for the first time tomorrow with the unit. Please pray that it goes well .

On a side note, today I went to the PX and when I was leaving I was stopped and ended up having to wait just outside the PX in the parking lot with a lot of people. I'm not sure what occured, but the PX was evacuated and we were not allowed to go to our cars. The MPs and Police were there patrolling the area, blocking off the parking lot, and making sure nobody went to their cars. Hopefully it was just a scare and nothing serious occured.

New Assignment

This morning I reported to my unit and got my assignment. I now have a position that a Captain normally fills. I'm excited about what is ahead, but also hope that I find some good mentors.

Dreams For The Future

Me: I've realized that my dream in life is not a professional career, but to raise a family and even be a stay-at home mom while they are growing up
Friend: no way
Me: no way to which part?
Friend: i love it
Friend: i am surprised that's it
Friend: i rarely heard female make it their priority
Me: its something i realized 1.5 years ago.
Friend: i am not expecting the woman i will marry to do it, but i am praying that she does
Me: but its not something i usually share with people unless i feel really comfortable with them because it is so unusual these days
Friend: same here
Friend: what do you wish to have a career in?
Me: i used to want to work for the NSA, but now what i really just want to do is raise a family, be a support for my husband in whatever he does(i'd prefer one in the military), and if he is in the military, than help other military spouses through FRG groups, church groups, and stuff like that.
Friend: i find this a little bit puzzling
Me: how so?
Friend: that you dream of that
Me: why is that?
Friend: one would think that you will have dream of the sort of type A personality
Me: what do you mean?
Friend: usually people talk about how they want to be CEO, be doctor,...mainly focus their future on themselves their success
Friend: i do
Me: oh
Me: i guess maybe i used to do that, but my dream really is what i just said.

That is not to say that I don't like being in the miltary. I do, I want to serve my country, and right now I want to get deployed (although that may change in a few months after I've been deployed for a little while).

I'm Not His Wife!

Army lost :(

This afternoon I called up Chris to see if he was going to the Officers club to watch the game with a bunch of other West Point grads. I wanted to make sure I knew at least one person there. He said he was going and we ended up pulling into the parking lot of the o-club and walking into the place together. Right at the door was a sign-up for the Texas West Point Almuni club, but I noticed the man was only talking to Chris about it. When I asked for a form to fill out as well he said "oh, are you a grad too? " He then asked if Chris and I were married, dating, etc. Apparently he thought I was Chris' wife and not a grad myself. After clearing that up, Chris and I walked in and a table with some grads at it greeted Chris and I. They then started to ask Chris about when he graduated, what unit he's with now, etc., but didn't ask me any of those questions. After realizing that they too probably thought I was his wife I asked one of the female grads at the table what company she had been in at West Point. She and her friend looked a bit suprised and asked if I was a grad, and after telling them that I was indeed one as well they said that they had thought I was Chris' wife. There was one more incident where I was mistaken for being his wife and not a grad myself.

I would never have guessed that so many people would make that mistake, especially the number of female grads that made that mistake. I was wearing my West Point ring on my right hand, and neither Chris nor I are married or wear rings on our left hands. The only thing that made people think we were married was that we walked in at the same time. I'll be sure to never again walk into a West Point gathering with a guy without some clear indication that I myself am a grad.

It's a Small World After All

Today at inprocessing I ran into some more of my classmates from West Point. I was sitting next to one of them when she saw me write down my hometown on a form and said, "I know someone from ****. He was in my OBC class." I was ready to say that I didn't know the person, but then she said a name I actually recognized from my middle school class, Joe B. If it is the same person then apparently he did ROTC and just finished up his OBC. She text messaged him telling him that I said hi, although I don't think he actually remembered me. It's a small world.

Army is going to beat Navy tomorrow and be the first one to claim the 50th Army-Navy game win. Go Army!

I've Arrived

A lot, yet nothing much, has happened the past few days. On Monday I started my journey to my first duty station by flying into Tucson, AZ and then driving to Fort Huachuca. I was planning on only staying a short time to check my PO Box for a final time and say hi to Kate and Jordan, but I discovered that I was too tired to drive any distance safely, so I spent the night in Sierra Vista. It turned out nicely because I was able to spend more time with Kate and Jordan and go out to dinner with them. Then next morning I got up at 6 and started my drive. I made it around 770 miles before stopping for the night. The next morning I slept in until 8:15ish and then headed back out on the road around 9. I made it to Jordan's apartment by 11:30am. Zack had deployed the morning before, so the timing worked out pretty well. I spent the rest of the day moving my stuff in and relaxing. This morning I didn't make it out of the apartment until 9:30am and had to make a stop at the post office to mail some letters that Zack had left for me to mail before I headed onto post. Once on post I got new decals for my vehicle and then officially signed in. Inprocessing begins tomorrow at 0630.

While I was waiting to sign in I looked up and saw Chris S. walking my way. I called out to him and he came over and sat down. A few minutes later Gretchen walked over and joined us. Gretchen had signed in the day before and so she had already started inprocessing, but Chris signed in with me. I said a small thanks to God for letting me run in to two people I know from West Point and who were in my OBC class.

Since I was done with everything I could do on post today by 1230 I decided to go back to the apartment and relax. I had drifted off to sleep on the couch when my cell phone rang. Charlie was calling me and so we talked for a little while. He's doing really well and graduates from IOBC in about 2 weeks. He is another friend who I find it extremely easy to talk to, and talking to him always puts a smile on my face.

After not running since Saturday night I figured I was in need of one. It was a rather short 20 minute run since I didn't know the area and was a bit wary because the homes had bars on their doors and windows.

When I got back from my run I cleaned up and then made dinner. Having nothing else to do after dinner I decided to check out the Navigators. There was a Navigators group at West Point, but they met at the same time as OCF, so I never went to it. Charlie got invovled with it at Fort Benning and raved about it a few times to me. He also gave me the link to the Fort Benning Navigators web site which I found very useful. Zack had also gotten invovled with the Navigators group here and recommended it to Jordan who then recommended it to me. I still felt a bit out of my comfort zone going since I didn't know any one in the group and hadn't made contact with anyone. I am glad I went and like the group so far. The topic of the night was right what I needed because we talked about courage.

One thing I realized while I was at Navigators was that I'm making progress, however small it may be, with stepping out of my comfort zone. Actually going was a big step, and then when I was there I made contributes to the discussions, which was something I didn't do for a few months a few years ago when I started attending OCF. Afterwords I went around the room and said bye to everyone and shook their hands, instead of trying to sneak out the door unseen. I hope this progress continues.

Running In The Snow

Yesterday morning when I woke up I knew that I needed to go running, but really didn't feel like it. I then remembered going for a run last winter with Misha and Steve around Misha's neighborhood after a heavy snowfall. Although there wasn't nearly as much snow on the ground yesterday I decided to see if Misha wanted to go for a run later since we had already planned on hanging out that evening. Originally we were going to catch an early evening showing of the movie Chicken Little, but ended up going to the 9 pm showing. Afterwords we went to his house and changed into running clothes. I spent a little while catching up with his parents and then we headed out for the run. We started out on the same route as last year, but ended up going a bit further down one road. Then it turned into us running some intervals up and down a hill in his neighborhood, followed by running up two huge hills. It was a good workout and quite enjoyable, which is odd because usually I don't like running very much. Since it was around midnight I'm sure the few people out driving gave us weird looks when they saw us out running. When we got back to his house his parents were still up and his Mom made us some popcorn. We took the popcorn to the basement and Misha popped in some home videos from 1990. There is an extremely cute one where his youngest sister, then around 2.5 years old, sings twinkle twinkle little star, but it comes out "tinkle tinkle little star." His youngest sister was watching the video with us and got back at him for showing it to me by showing another really cute video staring seven-year-old Misha. So cute :)

I Forgot To Title This One

After having graduated from OBC I am at home again not knowing what the future holds. At the moment I'm not particularly concerned about it because it still seems a long way off, but it's really only next week that I will be reporting to my first unit. I don't even know if they will be deployed yet, and the phone calls, searching on the web, and trying to get information out of people I know who might know something have left me only with possible predictions of what lies ahead.

I have all these ideas of what life will be like and what I will be like in a few years. As I've discovered,my dreams and reality don't actually coincide very often. I'm basically still the same person I was back in high school, but with a little more education and training. Darstic changes as a person are not my style. My TAC officer from OBC called me his most consistant lieutenant, and also told me that he thought of me as the "slow and steady one who wins the race." He noted that I did well, third academically in my class, but managed to fly under the radar the whole time because I never got in any trouble and I didn't particulary stand out in any way. Perhaps I'm a bit too consistant. I would like to improve in many areas.

While I'm sitting here typing this I'm thinking about how much it annoys me that I don't have a very good grammar base and usually my spelling is less than sub-par. Even though this really frustrates me and I berate myself for it, I don't do anything to actually change it or try and work on solving the problem. That seems to be my answer to things in life. I am very hard on myself when I don't feel I measure up, which happens fairly often in my mind, yet I don't put a lot of effort into changing the situation. My lack of effort hinders any improvment on my part.

Now to completely switch topics...for Thanksgiving my Grandma, Aunt Kathy, Aunt Barb and Cory, Heidi, and Uncle Gary and his family all came over. Betsy and Mark didn't attend since they are still on their honeymoon. Betsy did call twice, however, because she wanted directions to a mall near where they are staying. Why they want to go to a mall the day after Thanksgiving I do not know. Personally, that is the one day of the year that I try and avoid shopping at all costs even though there are so many sales and give aways. The long lines and crowds drive me away.

Seasons Greetings

Politically Correct Seasons Greetings:
Christmas Thoughts

Please accept with no obligation,
implied or implicit our best wishes for
an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral,
celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most
enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular
practices of your choice, with respect
for the religious/secular persuasions
and/or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all ...

and a fiscally successful,
personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset
of the generally accepted calendar
year _______, but not without due respect
for the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to
society have helped make America great,
(not to imply that America is necessarily
greater than any other country or is
the only "AMERICA" in the western
hemisphere), and without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability,
religious faith, choice of computer platform,
or sexual preference of the wishee.

- DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTABILITY -

(By accepting this greeting,
you are accepting these terms.
This greeting is subject to
clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the
original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually
implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others, and is
void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of
the wisher. This wish is warranted
to perform as expected within the
usual application of good tidings
for a period of one year, or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting,
whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish
or issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher.)

Taken from: http://www.pcphrases.com/

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving:)

Wedding

Yesterday my sister Betsy was married to Mark. I don't think I've mentioned before in here that her wedding was this weekend because it never sank in for me until I got home on Thursday and was finally confronted with all the wedding preperations. Her wedding was amazing and by far the best that I've ever been to, and I'm not just saying that because I'm her sister. Heidi was her maid of honor and I was a bridesmaid. She had a total of 5 bridesmaids, while Mark had four groomsmen.

While the wedding and reception were incredible, I was completely drained by the end of it even though I only arrived home the two nights before the wedding. I think I came home already fairly emotionally drained due to having just graduated from MIOBC, having to say goodbye to my friends and not knowing when I'd see them again, moving, preparing to go to my first unit, and not knowing when exactly I'll be deployed. Combine that with the wedding, tons of people, tons of questions, and for some reason feeling like I was losing my sister even though I know that in reality I was gaining a brother-in-law (who is an awesome guy, I just don't know him very well), and by the end all I wanted to do was get away from everything and everyone to have some time to recover. I'm doing much better now having stayed at home all day without even having changed out of my pj's. I don't remember the last time I stayed in my pj's all day because usually I feel the need to clean up and get in some real clothes by the end of the day. Today, however, having taken a long bath and shower last night after the wedding, I've been fine wearing my pj's all day.

Stupid Fire Alarm

I was awoken at 4am this morning by the third fire alarm that has gone off in the BOQs since Saturday morning. Grr.... There it goes again.

Graduation

Tomorrow morning at 0900 I graduate from MIOBC. While the graduation has nowhere near the level of anticipation and excitment of my West Point graduation, it has brought about a tiny bit of emotion on my part. Mainly the emotion is due to having to say goodbye to friends, some of whom I've known for four years, and some who I have only known for four months. I'll also miss AZ in a tiny way, though it is tiny. Once the weather started cooling down a bit to where I could get away with wearing a sweatshirt at night I started to enjoy AZ much more, especially the evening and night sky. Having grown up in the tree-covered north, it has been a new experiance to be able to see for miles with out any trees to get in the way. The sky also appears much larger here since the terrain is so open around here. The mountains are different than the ones at West Point, and I will miss them in their own way. I'll also miss the comfort of having some sort of daily routine, although it took me about a month to settle in here and I'm sure I'll eventually settle into a new one where ever I end up next.

I've spent the past two weeks outprocessing and spending time with friends. Last week on Tuesday my class went bowling together during the day, and then on t Wednesday Rachel, Vivian, Natalie and I went to see the Moscow Ballet perform the Nutcracker. Over the weekend I baked treats for my class at the Munsey's house as well as Vivian and Natalie's apartment. On Monday I went on a tour of Kartchner Caverns with Rachel and her parents, and then Kate and Jordan threw a graduation dinner for me at Jared's house and Jared grilled steak, salmon, and vegetables for us. (On a side note, what is the normal way to core a head of lettuce? Jordan and I think the smashing method is normal, but Kate, Jared, and Matt(?) had never heard of it before and thought we were crazy.)

As a graduation gift Jordan gave me, among other things, a little black book. It actualy has sheets of graph paper in it instead of address lines, but she told me that it was the only little black book she could find and said that after I write down someone it in, I can call her and Kate up and keep them informed. Somehow I can't see myself being able to actually write very many, if any, names in it, although had she given it to me at the beginning of OBC I'd have one name in it already, although it would be crossed out by now. Yes, I did go on a few dates with a guy here, but it was only a short time before we both agreed that we were not the right person for each other.

On that note, it's getting late and I have to get up ealier tomorrow than I have in about 2.5 weeks (6am). As I've been alluding to, life's been pretty easy here the past two weeks.

A Listening Ear

Friend: things are not that hot with my GF
Me: i'm sorry to hear that
Me: how long have you two been together?
Friend: her mom got lung cancer and i cannot find way to help her by being thousands of miles away
Friend: about a year now
Me: sometimes the best help is just being a listening ear and nothing more
Me: guys tend to want to solve problems, but girls often just want a place to vent and aren't necessarily looking for answers and solutions
Friend: i am trying but that is painful for me
Friend: and difficult
Friend: must be harder for her i know
Me: i don't know her situation, and don't know what she needs or wants, but having gone through cancer with both my sisters in the past few years, and now my cousin, what i needed was just someone to talk to and listen to me.  i hope things get better for both of you, and that her mom beats the cancer.    

Deep Thoughts Are Okay

Tonight I had another deep conversation with Misha ranging from our respective current crush drama, to why I don’t like swearing, to if terrorists should be viewed as humans, to being deployed and worst case scenarios. It’s nice to have a friend like him who I feel free to engage in conversation with while doing deep thinking, instead of being told that I’m thinking too much again. Plus, he’s the one who usually starts the topic of conversation. We often start off with opposing views, but by the end of the conversation we have more of an understanding of the other’s viewpoint, as well as more of an understanding of our own point of view. That is, except when it comes to relationship issues because we are both clueless in that area but do the best to give each other advice.

P.S. I was arguing that terrorists should still be viewed as humans.

Navy Better Be Scared

In case anyone hasn't heard, Army beat Air Force on Saturday. Woohoo!

This was the most intimidating picture I could find on my computer. Oh well. 

Productive Friday

Friday I was actually fairly productive, which is unusual when I have half a day off. At 9 am there was an AAR for JICTC, but that only lasted an hour. After that the TAC team talked to us briefly about what’s happening next week, gave us a safety briefing, and then released us. I had an appointment at 2 pm to finish the paperwork for my DITY move, so I turned down Andrea’s offer to go run intervals because I didn’t want to have to change out of my uniform only to change back into it later. Instead I went back to my room and read one of the books that I recently ordered, The Family That Nobody Wanted. I’ve actually read it a few times years ago, but I like it and wanted to read it again. At 2 pm I went and completed the DITY move stuff and then finished all the out-processing that I could do this week. After that I drove to Gas City and get my car washed. When I got back to the BOQs one of my friends was in the parking lot unloading stuff from his car because he was about to go get it weighed for his DITY move. I had thought about getting my car weighed today, but felt too lazy until I saw him getting ready to do it and so I decided to get it out of the way as well. The process was a lot easier and faster that I thought, and now all I have to do is go back and weigh it again after I’ve finished loading everything into my car. Since I hadn’t exercised yet my friend asked if I wanted to go on a run later. That was something else I knew I needed to do, but had been putting off. We ended up running up Reservoir Hill, but then walked down it. I ran it up and down it doing a longer route last Saturday, but when we stopped on the top and then started walking down my dislike for running won out over the need to run. Later in the night I once again remembered why I’m not a video game person as I played fairly poorly on two Xbox games. I am however in love with a tiny dog named Fury. Normally I don’t like tiny dogs, but this one was adorable, especially when he fell asleep on my lap for about an hour.

Almost Done

Only out processing is left :)

Dreading Shopping

Tomorrow Rachel and I are driving up to Tucson to go shopping in the malls there.  She sent me the links to the two malls and so I started looking online at the stores in order to try and find clothes ahead of time that I am interested in looking at.  My enthusiasm for the shopping trip is quickly decreasing, as well as my excitement about going home.  

I do need some new clothes, and I do like going home and seeing my friends and family, but both things truthfully make me feelâ€?.well, fat.  The clothes always seem made for stick-limbed, skinny people and don’t fit me correctly.  My arms are too big, my shoulders too wide, or my hips are too large.  Around most of my friends who are girls I feel like a big, stocky football player because they are a few inches to a head shorter and smaller than me.  I am the shortest person in my family and at home I feel like a short, stocky football player when I stand next to everyone.  It really got to me over Columbus Day when I was home for the weekend, as it does every time I go home and am around my tall, skinny family.  

Halfway Done

I’m now half-way done with the exercise at the Joint Intelligence Combat Training Center (JICTC).  So far it hasn’t been too bad, even a little fun.  Being on the swing shift from 3:30 pm until midnight is definitely better than being on the day shift.  I am able to sleep in, be productive during the day, be motivated to work out, and time goes by faster at night in the TOC.  

I can’t believe I’m graduating OBC in two weeks.  The weeks have flown by even though some of the days felt like the time was low-crawling by.  (I think Rachel would give me a Tool award for that analogy).  I may even miss OBC, but that is only because where I’m heading I probably won’t know anybody, I won’t have the luxury of getting 7 hours of sleep a night, a work day that ends at 5 pm, and weekends off.  

I’ve talked to Jordan and am going to stay in her apartment in TX until I deploy.  Her husband is already going to be deployed when I get there, and she won’t be there for at least another month, so she was happy to have someone there to watch over it.  If I don’t end up deploying I can take a little more time finding a good place of my own instead of rushing into something because I need somewhere to live.  

Baking

This afternoon I went over to Chris and Andrea's again to bake. Of the four different kitchens I've tried, they definetly have the best one. Plus, they have the most kitchen appliances, which is probably because they are married and so recieved many of them as gifts. I almost feel bad for going over and taking over their kitchen often, about once a week, but they don't seem to mind, especially when I let them taste-test and eat the leftovers.

So far, while at OBC I've baked chocolate-caramel brownies, danish puff, tactical sugar cookies, caramel apples with different toppings, chocolate covered peanut caramel clusters, individual molassas-chocolate tarts, individual blueberry fruit tarts, fruit pizza, and individual meringue fruit pizza's. Rachel and I made the sugar cookies, caramel apples, and chocolate covered peanut caramel clusters together, but the rest of the stuff I've made myself.

Today I made the individual meringue fruit pizza's again (as shown in the picture), except this time I made half of them chocolate meringue. My class seemed to enjoy them last time, and so I hope my TOC likes the new twist.

While at West Point I made Joe Bear episodes as a hobby, and I think that here I've made baking my new hobby. I enjoy channeling my creativity into something that brightens other peoples days. I wonder if I'll pick up a new hobby when I get to my unit. 

Debate

Tomorrow there is a Halloween party that most of my class is going to.  For the most part I grew up not being allowed to celebrate Halloween, and now I am trying to figure out for myself what is honoring and glorifying to God in regards to the issue.  

Friend: I would encourage you to go. you can honor God hardcore there... it's not what goes into you that defiles but what comes out... being a manifestation of God's Love in the midst of people who need it is what Christ was all about and he often was found in the midst of the worst sinners parties, even though the religious folks were aghast.

I had thought of that as one of the two options I have, the other being not going.  My question is how do I actually be a manifestation of God's love there if I do go?  It’d actually be much easier to not go, and that is actually what I was leaning towards at first, but now I don’t know what to do.  

Me Tidy?!?

Apparently I am now considered to be a very neat and tidy person.  If you ever saw my room when I lived at home, or my room at school when it wasn’t around SAMI time, you would find that statement hilarious and wonder what drugs the person was on who spoke it.  As far as I know she wasn’t on drugs, and has never done drugs when my friend told me my room always looks like nobody lives in it, and may have even called me a ‘neat freak,’ although I may have just imagined that part.  

Now this change hasn’t come about without a conscious effort on my part.  My effort to keep my room tidy did not come about through any lessons I learned at West Point about having a neat and orderly room, but rather through something I read in one of Elisabeth Elliot’s books as well as a statement I think one of my sister’s made over the summer, although I may have imagined that as well.  

In her book The Shaping of a Christian Family,  Elisabeth Elliot writes of how her mother was taught the value of neatness and order.  Her mother describes that she was taught to believe “…in a God of order, Creator of a universe arranged in an orderly fashion, each thing in its appointed spot,”  and that, “the freshness, neatness the sense of things being placed…This was a visible sign of an invisible reality.”  The truth of this really struck me when I read it and for the first time I saw the value in being neat and orderly besides it being more aesthetically pleasing and easier to find things.

The other statement that changed my attitude on neatness was when my sister, I think it was Betsy, although I could be wrong, mentioned how if you keep your home tidy when visitors unexpectedly drop by you are a bit more ready and willing to welcome them into your home because it at least looks presentable, which could lead to an opportunity to share the Gospel with them.  

I now try and keep my room neat and orderly as much as possible.  While at West Point I noted that when my stuff was messy my life in general felt a bit more disordered, but that only caused me to tidy-up when it got really bad.  It’s been almost 4 months and so far I’ve managed to keep-up the clean streak, which I believe is a new record for me.  

On a totally separate and different note, I think I may like ice so much because my throat is rather dry.  At times I think I like the ice because I am a bit dehydrated, but other times when I am not even consciously thirsty but want ice it is because the ice cools my mouth and throat down and makes them feel better.  I just came up with this hypothesis over the weekend, so I’ve only had two days to think about it and I could be completely wrong.  

So Tiny!

My iPod Nano came today:) I knew it was small, but when I opened the box it was even smaller than I thought it would be. Rachel was with me and she too was really suprised at it's size.

Although my iPod did arrive today, actually recieving the package turned into a wild goose chase. The tracking said the package had arrived at 11:04 am, when I called the front desk at 12:20ish they said that there wasn't a package for me there. I then looked at the tracking again and saw that instead of being delievered to the address that I sent for shipping, it was instead listed as being delievered to the Mail Room. There are many mail rooms on post, but I figured that I'd first go to the post office where I have my PO box and see if somehow it was dropped off there.

At the post office the guy claimed to know the package I was talking about, although I know doubt that it did ever pass through his hands, and he directed me to a mail room across post. He also gave me a phone number to call for the mail room. I went back to my room and called the phone number asking if I could come pick up my package and they said yes. Rachel and I were supposed to go swimming at this time, so I asked her if we could make a quick stop by the mail room. She agreed, and we headed over.

Finding the mailroom wasn't as easy as I thought. We drove around for about 10 minutes looking at all the buildings in the vicinity of where I had been directed, and finally decided to stop by the MP office to ask for directions. The first MP I talked to had no clue what building I was talking about, and I got a few responses of, "Mail room? There are a lot of mail rooms on post," from others in the office who then proceeded to look at me like I was stupid. However, the MP that was helping me asked another MP who actually knew the building I was talking about and gave me directions there, althouhg it took Rachel and I one more loop around the building to actually find it.

Once inside the mailroom I was told by the man behind the counter that there wasn't a package for me there and that I would need my tracking number in order to determine where it was sent. He had one idea of where it was, my BN mail room, and called that mail room, but they said there wasn't a package for me there. I was rather disheartned at this point, and was starting to feel bad for dragging Rachel all over post, but I didn't want to give up, especially since it seemed apparent that nobody knew where my iPod Nano was on post.

We made a quick stop back at the BOQs so that I could check at the desk and see if my package had been delivered, and also get my tracking number. It hadn't been delivered, so after I found the tracking number I called the man in the mail room back and he said that with the tracking number he had it as being delivered and signed for at the BN mail room. I told Rachel and asked if we could stop over there, and promised that it would be the last stop even if I didn't find it. She was very nice and agreed, so we headed over.

When I arrived at the BN mail room they told me that they were in the process of looking for the package. Although someone there had signed for it, they had no clue where it was. I stood there for about five minutes watching them look all over the place for it and wishing that I could help, but I wasn't allowed in that part of the room. Finaly, one of the two women working looked on top of a filing cabinet and found it. Apparently, since I thought FedEx would send the package straight to the BOQs and failed to put my unit on the shipping address, when it ended up in the BN mail room, and who knows why that happened, they did not know what to do with it and stashed it out of the way until they had time to deal with it. They told me that the package eventually would have made it's way to me after they looked me up in the computer system, but who knows how long that would've taken. I was told to always put my unit as part of my shipping address.

The sad part of the story is that when Rachel and I got to the pool around 2:20, after taking about an hour on the wild goose chase, we found out that the pool hours have changed and it is only open until 2pm :(

Thanks Mom and Dad for the iCarPlay Wireless :) The squishy ball and the smarties in were a huge hit in class this morning. Some guys in my class had a great time chucking the squishy ball at each other. 

Dining-In Pictures

Vivian has a few more pictures from the dining-in in her blog for OCT 23.

Birthday With Friends

Yesterday, to celebrate my birthday, ten friends and I went out for dinner to Johnny C's. I wasn't expecting any gifts, but I ended up recieving two wonderful dessert cookbooks from Vivian and Natalie(followed quickly by suggestions of what I should bake for the class on Monday from the cookbooks), a beautiful cross to hang on a wall from Jordan, a pumpkin glow-in-the-dark pez dispenser from Hans, an impressive dolly for my table that Rachel made herself, and a framed picture of Kate and I standing in front of Big Nose Kate's Saloon in Tombstone from Kate. Chris and Andrea paid for my dinner and told me to consider it them cooking for me, although I have actually had a homemade dinner over at their place before.

Although dinner with friends was the best part of the day, having both Michigan and West Point win their respective football games was quite a nice addition.

Today is my cousin's birthday. Both her and her brother are getting growing up so fast. Don't they know that they are only supposed to be around the ages of three and four? I miss them and their parents. Who knows if I'll recognize them when I next see them.

Army Crew Disbanded

On this happy day I received some news that has made me very sad on the inside.  The Army Crew Team is being disbanded for the rest of the season starting after this weekend, and indefinitely until a new OIC can be found, if one is ever found.  I only know a little about the reasons why this has happened, but it is very hard not to point fingers and blame certain individuals right now.

Being on the crew team was one of the best things I did while at West Point.  Through it I made friendships that I am sure will last a lifetime.  It also provided an escape from the daily grind of the rest of life, as well as allowing me to react to and release the tension and stress in my life in a healthy way.  

No More Birthday Party Fears :)

This is my first birthday in four years where the words “Birthday Party” don’t send any chills up my spine.  I was never thrown a birthday party other than the good kind, but each year the threat was there.  

It’s almost 12:30 AM and I’m not tired at all.  This afternoon I took a nap before Rachel and I went to see Elizabethtown.  I woke up right when we were supposed to leave, and I wasn’t ready to go at all.  There was a made dash around my room as I tried to change clothes, find my purse and various IDs and keys, and try to wake up.

We did make it to the movie on time, but either missed the preview for Annapolis, or they didn’t show it as a preview, which was probably the case.  I’ve seen the preview once and my friends and I almost died laughing.  I really don’t think I could make it sitting through that movie in the theater because I would get too annoyed with it’s inaccuracy and over-dramatization of everything.  One National Guard guy in my class sarcastically said, “I didn’t know Annapolis was the hardest military academy” after he saw the preview.

My mail is finally starting to be forwarded to my address here.  The good news is that my car registration renewal came in the mail today.  Apparently it was one of the first pieces to be forwarded to me, so I may be getting a second one soon due to the fact that I thought the first one was lost.  

It All Evens Out

It's 10:46 AM and my class has already been released for the weekend :)  This makes up for the long PT session we did this morning that ended with a 6.5 mile Radar Ridge run where we first ran down Radar Ridge, and then ran back up it.  What made it worse was that yesterday afternoon I was playing around on Google Earth and decided to look at Apache Flats where we do PT and scanned the different run routes we do on a regular basis.  The Radar Ridge one seemed even longer when I looked at it on the computer, and that was all I could think about this morning while I was running.  I really need to run more.  

Remember This

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Timothy 1:15-17

1 Month Left

I just bought my plan tickets home for after I graduate. Graduation is four weeks away, but I have a feeling those weeks are going to fly by. It seems like the past few weeks went by in the blink of an eye. I'm excited, yet also nervous, especially knowing that I may be deploying fairly soon after I get to my post. One of my instructors was talking about how new LTs usually have about two months of adjustment time where stupid mistakes are made, even expected, and not usually a problem. That made me feel better until he followed up by saying anyone going to the my unit would not get those two months due to being deployed.

Cooling Off

How is it that it is warmer at home than it is here? Not that I am complaining or anything. I am a fan of cooler weather, as long as I can dress to match the weather.

My iPod Nano was shipped today. I may get it in time for my birthday:) 

Smile :)

 

Grrr...

I just wrote a big post and it got lost :(

Anyway, Rachel and I did the GAFPB 15.6 mile ruck march together and we finished in 3 hours 22 minutes. We did the first 6 miles in 66 minutes, but overall averaged a 12:54/mile pace. The time limit was 4 hours 10 minutes. It was much easier this time only have a 22 lb ruck, although both us had more weight than that becuase we had full camel backs in our rucks in addition to the required weight. The ruck march was our final event, and having passed it we both earned the gold badge :)

Dining-In

Last night my class had our dining-in.

The dining-in is a formal dinner for members of a military organization or unit. It provides an occasion for officers to meet socially at a formal military function. The
purpose of a dining-in is to recognize individual and/or unit achievements or any events
that are effective in building and maintaining esprit de corps to include saying farewell to
departing officers and welcoming new ones. A dining-in may also be held to honor one or
more distinguished visitors. It is important to emphasize that a dining-in should be
viewed as a manifestation of association rather than a mandatory formation for all parties.
http://www.usma.edu/Protocol/images/DiningInOutGUIDE.pdf

One of the highlights of the dining-in is the presentation of "points of order", or calling people out for certain infractions of rules or embarrasing moments. There is a whole process that is entailed with bringing up a point of order and then the President of the Mess, who happened to be the company commander, would decide if the punishment suggested was appropriate. There were usually props invovled, such as tricycles, remote control cars, or sugar cookies. The person whom the "point of order" is about also is made to report to the grog bowl.

The grog bowl is a bowl, or toilet in our case, that is filled with different substances that each have a specific meaning. We had an Alpha grog which was a mixture of many different kinds of alcohol and very little else, and a Bravo grog that was non-alcoholic.

I didn't want to drink and so I was designated a DD. However, earlier in the afternoon when I saw what was going into the Bravo grog I almost wanted to drink because the Bravo grog was disgusting. I talked to the grog-master about the fact that the DDs had no choice which grog to drink from, but he didn't care. It worried me so much that I prayed that either the bravo grog would get changed, or that it would somehow end up being palatable. After the Bravo grog was was made and Mr. Vice almost threw-up after only tasting a small sip, the Company Commander quitely ordered that it be changed. The grog-master wasn't too happy that his bravo grog was going to be replaced with ice-tea, but I was rejoicing.

I was sent to the grog once, but it was not really as a punishment. Rachel brought up a Point of Order against John and I about our Iron chef competition, even though she participates in it as well. John and I had to report to the head table and had 10 seconds compete and see who could best decorate sugar cookies. I made two smiley face once and made it half-way through decorating a third one in 10 seconds. John made one smiley face, which looked more like a mess of lines, and one military symbol sugar cookies. The President of the Mess deemed the competition a tie, as she did all competitions throughout the night, and sent us both the grog.

The dining-in was fun, but it reaffirmed some of the reasons I only drink under certain circumstances which happen very rarely. I was asked a few times by different people if I do drink, why I don't drink except on rare occasions, and other such questions. Some people were satisfied with a simple answer, and others wanted the full answer, which I am still formulating, but in either case I was happy to answer.

On a side note, this afternoon at 4pm I'm doing the 15.6 mile GAFPB ruck march with a few of my classmates. 

Back to Middle School

Yesterday our TAC-NCO told us that we were going to go on a 3-mile class run for PT this morning. Overall that is fairly easy PT, although I'm not a big fan of running. This morning at PT we stretched as usual, but then instead of going for a run we played Sharks & Minnows followed by Ambeia. I haven't played those games at least since middle school. The PT plan changed because we only had 30 minutes due to class starting early today. The games were fun, except Rachel and I were the first amebia pair and we were not able to tag anybody until Omar and John walked right up to us and let us tag them.

Class started early because we had a test on ASAS-L. I got a 98/100 because I labeled a 2S9 battery as a Mortar Battery instead of a Self-Proppeled Artillery Battery. Now I'm in the MI library wasting time until we have to be back in class again, which is in 5 minutes.

It's Thursday

This morning was the final diagnostic APFT for my class. I managed to raise my score 2 points even though my run time was worse. If only I could be one of those people who only runs 4 miles a year (2 miles for each APFT) and still maxes the run every time. I went to bed at 9pm since I had to get up at 4:15am for the APFT. While I was walking out to my car I felt more awake then I expected, and then I thought about how I most likely will not be able to get 7 hours of sleep during the night for the next year after I graduate OBC. I better enjoy it while I can.

Last night a lot of people, including myself, went to a diner for dinner to celebrate Vivian's 22nd birthday. We all knew it was a bad idea to eat there before an APFT, but as Rachel and I decided, we were running an experiment to see how greasy, unhealthy food really effects an APFT. Of course we had to get milk shakes. I ordered a chocolate shake even though I don't like chocolate ice cream very much. It was too chocolatey for me and so I only drank a tiny bit of mine, which I guess is a good thing.

The weather here has cooled down quite a bit almost over night. Actually, it was over the weekend. In the morning when I get up for PT the temp is in the low 50's, although it does get into the mid 70's during the day. Soon we'll be switching to wearing the running suit for PT, but first everyone in the company has to get the complete uniform with hat and gloves.

I miss Anne. We talked over email today, which is the first time we've talked since she left for Cambridge. I'm horrible at keeping in touch with her, and people in general, even though she's one of my best friends. Now we won't see each other for a long time :( That reminds me, I really need to write her mom back.

Next Tuesday I have a battle analysis paper due. Even though I checked the books out a month ago, tonight was the first night that I actually cracked one open, and I only made it through about a page. Yes, I am procrastinating, but so is almost everyone else in my class. One guy in my class has his paper done, but he did it while in class. I think that is a bit extreme since we are supposed to be paying attention to what they are teaching us in class.

This evening I went over to the Munsey's and baked. This time I made individual fruit pizza's, except they have a meringue base instead of a sugar cookie base. Although they tasted really good right after I made them, my guess is that they will be soggey by class tomorrow morning. Oh well :(  

Headed to the Sandbox

I just talked to someone at the unit I'm going to in order to get a better picture of what my future might look like. They are deploying very soon. In fact, I may get there within days of their deployment, although I’d have to wait around for a few weeks in-processing and stuff before I join them in the sandbox.

Home Sweet Home

Columbus Day...what a great holiday. I say that not because I'm a huge fan of Columbus, but instead for a purely selfish reason. That reason being that I got a four-day weekend and was able to go home. Betsy had a wedding shower on Saturday and I decided to keep my visit home a suprise for her, although the rest of my family knew I was coming home. The shower was very nice, and it was great seeing Betsy again. She has a lot of hair now, at least compared to the last time I saw her.

The wedding shower was the main event of the weekend, but while I was home I also spent time with the rest of my family, slept, read a lot, went to church at C&R, made a fruit pizza, and went out to coffee with Misha. Misha and I had only planned on getting together for an hour because he had a test he needed to study for, but we ended up talking for 2.5 hours. It was great catching up with him, and also helped abate my recent fear that I am socially inept and can not carry on a decent conversation.

Now I am back in good old AZ (shown below). Only a month left here and then off into the big world.

The view from my window.


I've spent far too much time this afternoon at my computer adding new programs and trying to figure out how to use them to make my life easier. One program that I added was iTunes, because I also ordered an iPod Nano this afternoon. Although I have a Rio 20 gig MP3 player right now, I am not too happy with it and can't really count on it to work all the time anymore. Most of the reviews I read for the iPod Nano were good, so I hope it is worth the money.

 

Inside the Cave

I'm still trying to figure out how to best post pictures, so that is why I have two entries about the cave instead of just one entry.

The cave was really cool, but unlike what the pictures show, it was pitch black which is why everyone was supposed to bring flashlights. I managed to forget mine in my car, so I stuck close to Rachel the whole time. It was also very dusty, so many of the pictures I took didn't turn out very well because the flash would reflect off the dust.

The trip was a very welcome break from the classroom, powerpoint, and preparing briefings. We were all a little smoked after the trip because for PT that morning we had done a harder hill run, and then it was fast-paced uphill hike to the cave. I may go back again sometime with friends, or find a new cave to check out.

Going to the Caves

On 31 September my class took a field trip to a cave in the area in order to get an idea of how and why terrorists/insurgents/anybody really would use them to hide in or for their operations. The picture to the left is from hike to the cave. It's basic AZ scenery.

Army Crew

I miss these girls. I sure hope things start looking up for the women's crew team.

Time for a change

The heading says it all. Plus, I'm at home for the weekend and trying to keep myself occupied. What I really should be doing is going for a run right now instead of playing around with the blog.

I must have been really out of it this morning. I did a load of laundry, and when I opened my fridge just now I found that I had stuck my laundry detergent in the fridge. Maybe it works better and lasts longer when it's kept cold. :Þ

Sore....

I was hoping to make the whole 15.6 mile ruck march, but as I approached the 12 mile turn around and drop off I decided to wait to do that 15.6 miler another day. However, after hanging around for about 10 min I talked myself into giving it a try. I took off running to try and make the time, and I did okay for about the first mile or so, but since I was running alone (there were only 2 other girls going for the 15.6 and they had left a few minutes before me), and since I wasn't sure how much time I actually had to complete the final 3.6 miles, I mentally gave up after the first mile. My pants were also starting to cause chaffing, and my left shoulder hurt a ton. I made it to around the 13.5 mile mark where I was finally picked up, which is what I was hoping for. It was dissapointing, but I'm fairly confident that I can make the 15.6 mile time on the pure GPB ruck march. The good news is that I was third girl to finish the 12 mile ruck march and made it in a time of 3 hrs 15 min, although that was slower than the pace I wanted to keep.

I haven't written much recently, and I guess the only explaination I have for that is that I haven't felt like writting. There's been a lot on my mind, but a lot of it is personal.

Tomorrow is the 12 mile/15.6 mile ruck march. We start at 5pm and I should end before 9:10pm...I hope. I know that I could make the 12 miles in the required time, but I want to go for the German Armed Forces Proficiency Badge (GAFPB), and so that means that I need to do the 15.6 miles in less than 4 hours, 10 mins. I'm guessing my feet will be fairly torn up by the end. I've passed all the other events for the GAFPB, so this is the only thing standing in my way.

This morning in class I felt like a huge stick hit my left eye and then realized that I couldn't see very well. My contact had somehow managed to rip in half and half fell out, but the other half stayed in leaving me with a lot of discomfort. After about 30 min of trying to get it out without having to leave my work I gave up and went to the bathroom where I removed the other half.

I miss the guys :( I wish I could still hang out with them, listen to all their advice and experiances, and watch football and bake at their place.

Wow! I had completely forgotten that today was Tuesday and that I had OCF tonight. The only thing that reminded me was Jasmin's away message just now.

Happy Birthday Mom! I love you :)

Today feels like a Thursday.

The most recent Joe Bear episode is now online.

This evening when I went outside to call Heidi it was a bit chilly, so I went back to my room to find a sweatshirt. All my cooler weather clothes are in a box in my closet since I haven't had much use for them. While I was digging through the box I came across my crew sweats, so I decided to out them on. I'd forgotten how comfertable they are. I hope that the evenings stay on the cooler side because cooler weather clothes are so comfy.

Last night I made brownies for my class at the Munsey's house. The brownies turned out pretty well, and only lasted a very short time in class. My teacher walked in and ate one and then asked who made them. When I raised my hand he told me that they were "evil" and then went back for a second brownie. If only he would like my squad's briefings as much as he likes the brownies.

I am actually only a moderate fan of the brownies. They are extremely rich and I'm not usually a brownie person to start with. They are growing on me, but I still think that Chris's mom can make them much better than I can. What I enjoy is the chance to bake and brighten people's day even a tiny bit with whatever I make.

Kate and Jordan are out in the field till Saturday night. Even though I don't usually see them during the week except for at OCF I still miss them.

I started making a Joe Bear OBC episode this afternoon with Rachels help. Nobody was in the classroom when we started taking pictures, but then an NCO stuck his head in to see if anyone was still in there. Luckly the white boards blocked his view of the stuffed animals. Awhile later I was posing the stuffed animals when I heard the other door open. I thought it was the NCO again and this time he would've had a clear view of me holding a teddy bear, so I jumped and threw the teddy bear (which happened to be Joe Bear) under the table. It turns out the person was just one of my classmates who came back to look for his cell phone. The rest of the afternoon Rachel laughed at me for jumping and throwing Joe Bear under the table. I almost did it a second time when my classmate once again entered the room.

It's monday, but my group is already losing it mentally. I volunteered to go a on a work detail to clean the grill outside because I wanted to get out of the classroom. Most people didn't want to go on the work detail, but those of us who did go on it were all really happy to be outside and not in the TOC. When I got back in the room 1.5 hours later (we sat around a lot while waiting for supplies, but didn't mind that at all), Rachel spelled the word friendly with the e before the i not just once, but twice, so John put a cartoon of her up on the white board and we all laughed about it (including her). John and I then started to play paper football because we had no clue how to do the rest of the COA analysis, and neither did anyone else. It was a real productive morning to say the least.

This past weekend was pretty fun, and more relaxing than most other weekends. On Friday Rachel and I got to leave class an hour early in order to go to the VFW post and help serve at the Women's Auxillary dinner. All we did was take food out to people and stand around in the kitchen for 2.5 hours. We finished around 7:30 in the evening. I was so tired that I went to bed at 8:30 that night. I woke up once during the night when Chris IM'd me from France around 3am. I need to remember to turn down my computer volume at night so if people IM me it won't wake me up. I thought about responding to the IM, but then decided to go back to sleep instead. I finally decided to get up around 7:30. It was great sleeping for 11 hours.

On Saturday I spent the morning watching the first part of the UM vs Notre Dame game, but was getting mad at Michigan, so I decided to go run some errands. I picked up some arch supports for my running shoes, but I'm not sure if it feels better or worse using them. I think I spent the rest of the day reading and watched TV until 5pm and then headed over to Barnes to go work at the BN boxing match. My class all worked at it because it was our class volunteer project. Originally I was supposed to help with the hot dogs, but ended up being tasked to video tape the whole thing. Some of the bouts were fairly interesting to watch because the people were either really good, or they were not good at all. I also spent a lot of time just day dreaming and people watching, because I wasn't allowed to leave the camera. Occasionally I'd call a friend on my cell phone and ask them to bring me a soda or a hot dog. We finished up there around 11:30pm.

Sunday morning I got up and went to St. Andrews to check out their service. I enjoyed the service, especially the homily. Then, at 11, I went with Kate and Jordan to the Crossroads service on post. It was more of a worship service than a Church service. In the afternoon Kate and I headed out to the MIOBC soccer game. There are two teams from MIOBC in the league, and Sunday was the first game for both of them, and it was against each other. One team is almost completely composed of my class, while the other team has people from multiple classes. Since I know people on both teams I tried to support both teams, but ended up being called a traitor by Rachel and Natalie because I was sitting with Kate on the other team's side. Eventually I gave up and moved over to my team's side. In the evening I went over to Todd's house and he cooked dinner while I made him and his housemates brownies. I had a good time over there, and dinner was delicious, but the brownies didn't finish baking until around 10:20, so I ended up getting to bed a bit later than usual, which has left me feeling rather tired today. I hope the brownies turned out okay. I was headed out the door as soon as they were out of the oven because I was getting really tired.