Oh good. It's up to 7 degrees F outside. Perhaps we won't freeze during lunch formation.

God bless West Point because right now I sure don't want to.

We had been having indoor formations for the past week or so due to the snow and cold weather, but that ended yesterday when, in the middle of a cold snap, higher ordered us to start outdoor formations once again. This morning when I woke up the temperture outside was -11 F with a windchill of -25 F. Formation was still outdoors. We are not allowed to wear any ear protection. We can layer all we want and have the rest of our bodies relatively safe, but our ears are fully exposed to the elements for 10-15 minutes. That may not sound that bad, but I challenge you to stand in one place without moving, without being able to reach up and cover your ears at all, with the wind blowing sub-zero temperture air mercilessly against your ears and see how long you can stand it. It is quite painful, and dangerous. My company is fortunate in that we are the closest ones to the door and are the first ones into the mess hall, but there are other companies, such as A3, and 1st Battalion 1st Regiment who first must wait while all the other companies march into the messhall before they have a chance to get out of the elements, and also have a farther distance to march than anyone else.

I"M DONE WITH THE IOCT FOREVER!!!!! THANK YOU LORD!!!! And thank you everone else for your prayers.

I'm taking the IOCT this afternoon around 4:30 or 5. Please say a prayer for me and everyone else taking it at that time.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
-Philippians 4:13

The most recent Joe Bear episode, The IOCT, is now online. Thanks Mom :)

Nice wedding, good weekend, and I was able to be with my family for a little longer than I had planned due to the snowstorm :) I'll hopefully write about the highlights of the weekend later.

I'll be home in less than 12 hours (I hope).

Happy Inaguration Day!

Two of the people in my platoon, a plebe and a yearling, tried out and were choosen to march in the Inaguration Parade.

Stress seems to go in waves around here. Everything is calm for a little while, and then a big wave hits, then it calms down, then another wave hits. The cycle just keeps repeating itself. Stuff pops up, like an IPR that my teacher just told us about, or the IOCT, that makes the wave all that much bigger.

In a little Bible Study that I'm doing it said to write about some areas of my life that I long to be free. I came up with three areas right away: worship, thinking, and free from worry.

Freedom in worship. I live in a free society and am free to worship however I want to, but that doesn't keep me from being self-concious about some stuff. I want to be free to worship God however I feel called, be it on my knees, or dancing around a room singing at the top of my lungs, or perhaps silently, or speaking in tounges.

Freedom in thinking. I want to be free to let my mind wander knowing that whatever I start thinking about glorifies God. I want to be free from thinking about the latest gossip, or whatever else my mind wanders to.

Freedom from worry. I want to be free from the usless worry that makes me stress out over things. I want to be able to give everything over to God and rest assured that He is in control.

Sunny 5°F
Feels Like
-11°F

Happy MLK Day.

On Friday I had last hour MS class, so I wasn't done with school until 1600. After class I went over to the IOCT to work on it for a little while. The horizontal bars make me a little nervous, so I practice them a lot. On Friday on the second time across them I slipped on them, but was saved because I was holding onto one of the perpendicular bars at the time. I had to start back at the very begining after that trying to get over my fear of the bars.

After the IOCT practice Anne, Heather, Jordan C., Rachel, Abigail, Beth, and I went to Uno's for dinner, and then I went to Walmart to do some grocery shopping. When I got back Anne and I watched Miracle until Taps.

Saturday morning I woke up around 9:30 or 10 and sat around the room until 2pm when Heather and I went over to the D's house. We baked cookies, did laundry, and played with the kids. I left around 5pm because Chris had invited me out to a movie with him and Chad. Before the movie we went to eat at a chinese buffett. While we were eating I noticed that all we talked about was West Point, and asked if that was sad. Chad said he thought it wasn't a sad fact, because it was something we all shared in common.

When I got back from the movie I went over to Anne's room and watched another movie with her and Heather. We started another movie when that one was done, but I left after about 5 minutes of it.

Sunday morning I got up around 9:30 and went to Church. After Church I went to brunch and then decided that I felt like snowboarding. I got Mot's and Anne to come along with me. Mot's didnt spend too much time out on the slope, but Anne and I had fun. She's been skiing since she was in kindergarten, but it was only my fourth or fifth time snowboarding, and my first time since yuck year. I fell a lot, but not nearly as much or as badly as I did when I was first learning yuck year.

We left the slope around 4:30pm and when I got back to the barracks I found Charlie and Jason back in their room after a trip to the city. Jason went off camping Sunday night, but Charlie invited me out with him, Chris, Jordan B., a cow, and a yearling. We went to Arby's and then saw In Good Company. It was a good movie, and we all left the theater smiling.

Monday morning I woke up at 9:30am and found an IM from Charlie inviting me out to Andy's for breakfast at 10. I got ready to go and went by Charlie's room only to find him still asleep. He woke up when I knocked and gave Jordan B. a call, but he was still asleep as well. Charlie decided to push the breakfast time to 11:30. At 11:30 Jordan, Chris, Charlie, and I went out and had a delicious meal at Andy's. Good food, good price. It was only the second time I've been there. I spent the rest of the day doing laundry and sitting around my room doing nothing much at all.

The weekend was a pretty good weekend, although I didn't really get away from West Point. Anne had invited me to go to the Met with her and Mot's, but I declined because I didn't want to have to get up around 8:30am. The best part is that this week has only 4 days of class :)

I feel like I'm in a zoo. This morning my TAC NCO showed a bunch of air force officers around the barracks and I felt like I was on exhibit. The rest of the battalion was in PMI today, but my company had to be in AMI till noon, which, among other things, means no sleeping and doors open. When the officers came by they all peeked into the room as they passed. Thankfully I have an hour off after lunch before my last two classes and can get in a quick nap. This week has left me exhausted.

I am so glad this weekend is a three day weekend. Heather has CDO all weekend, so a few of us are staying around to keep her company. I also need to practice the IOCT a lot. On Saturday Heather and I are going over to the D's house to do laundry, bake cookies, and relax. Charlie and Jason invited me to go camping with them and Chris and Amber, so I'm thinking about joining them either Saturday evening or Sunday afternoon. The main things that I want to accomplish this weekend are sleep an relaxation.

The gloom period has most definetly hit. It's grey, rainy, and cold. Why can't it be snowing instead?

So glad it's Friday...

Tired.

This week is dragging by. I haven't really felt like writing much. Crew practice and IOCT practice are wearing me out. I feel like I'm spending a lot of time complaining to God and asking why. Where has my smile gone?

My sister isn't supposed to be talking about when to get engaged and married. To me she's still only 7! (even though she is older than me).

Speaking of engagments, I've been seeing more and more diamond rings on the hands of women cadets. I can name 7 or 8 right off the top of my head, and there are many many more who's names and faces I don't rememeber, but have heard that so and so got engaged. My guess is that there are at least 32 who are engaged, since in past years I've noticed there is usually at least one woman, if not more, in each company who is engaged. That's over a quarter of the girls in my class. Wow.

Today's my last first day of classes for awhile...I hope. My morning classes went well. I only have two in the morning and two in the afternoon on day one's. On day two's I have two classes, but they are both two hour blocks.

I made a new Joe Bear epsisode last night with the help of Annah. I don't know when it will be posted online.

Awesome poem by Russell Kelfer:

WAIT

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait!"

"'Wait?', you say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By FAITH I have asked, and am claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"And Lord, you promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting. . .for what?"

He seemed then to kneel and His eyes wept with mine,
And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want--but, you wouldn't know ME.

"You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

"You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of my Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save. . .(for a start),
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night.
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss! if I lost what I'm doing in you!

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
THAT THE GREATEST OF GIFTS IS TO GET TO KNOW ME.
And though oft may my answers seem terribly late,
My wisest of answers is still but to WAIT."

This poem has had a real impact on me recently.

The asking for money from West Point has started. This evening we had a meeting about giving money to our class fund for our 10th year reunion gift to West Point. Tomorrow night we have a briefing from the Association of Graduates (AOG) that most likely is them trying to get us to start giving money to them as well.

My PSG just told me to not work so hard. I need to learn what I should leave to him since I am the PL.

143 Days left :)

I'm back at school now in the same room and phone number as last semester. I love the view I have. Big news, Alyson (my roommate of 3 years) got engaged over break! Congratulations Alyson :)

Happy New Year!

Woohoo, it's finally 2005 :)

I've turned my thinking ability off over break. I hope that next week I am able to turn it on again.

All break I've been trying to think up a new Joe Bear episode, but nothing seems to really grab me. Perhaps the lack of good ideas is that I am not knee deep in work and under a lot of pressure. Maybe next week one will come.

I haven't written much over break not because of a lack of things to write about, but more of a lack of feeling like writting.

Last week there was a day it snowed and we ended up with 7 inches. That night I went over to Misha's house and Misha, Steve, and I went for a run in the snow. It is pretty difficult, and much slower, to run on snow covered streets. The whole time I felt like I was about to fall on my face. After the run we went to a golf course and went sledding. Misha was determined to get some air time with his sled. We then went back to his house and watched I Robot, for my second-and-a-half time in 2 days.

Christmas was nice with the family. After opening presents at home we went over to my Uncle's house for Christmas with my dad's side of the family. It was nice seeing all of them again. On Thursday this week we're having my mom's side of the family over to celebrate Christmas.

This week I've been helping my dad paint around the house, and being paid for it. My project has been the front closet. The painting is rather enjoyable, for the most part.

Monday night John H. invited people from our class in middle school and the Trinidad trip over to his house. I hadn't seen a few of them in years. I found out that John H. and Pat T. are both engaged.

Last night I finally checked my email and found out that my senior capstone project was accepted to the National Conferences on Undergraduate Research in April. This year it's being held at VMI. One of my partners mentioned to me that we're going to stick out like sore thumbs in our West Point uniforms there. Fun times...or something.

Merry Christmas!

Right now I'm sitting at the computer while listening to my oldest sister talk to my other sister about radiation and what to expect. It's a bonding experiance that I hope I don't have to go through anytime in my life.

Today was yet another uneventfull day at home. I woke up around 11:30, the latest I've slept in as of yet, ate breakfast, read for awhile, went for a run, and then went to the battery store with my dad. He helped me get a new battery for my car, and I also picked up batteries for my camera, and a new watch battery. When we got home he installed the car battery, and then we watched I Robot. After my mom came home we all went to Church and watched the Christmas Pagent. The kids were cute as always, especially the little angels. After Church my family watched I Robot, but I didn't feel like seeing it again, so I played with Asher and talked on the phone for awhile. After the movie I played a few games of mancala with Betsy, and then Betsy and Heidi started talking about cancer and radiation, so after listening for awhile I decided to see who was online, and here I am.

A snow storm is supposed to hit tonight and dump 5-9 inches, but my prediction is that it'll only leave around 1cm of snow, if that. I think Ohio is getting the brunt of the storm right now.

Tomorrow I should do some Christmas shopping. I still don't know what to get two members of my family.

Last night my parents gave each of my sisters and I a digital camera. Mine is as Kodak CX7330. It'll come in handy for making future Joe Bear episodes. Thank you Mom and Dad :)

2 things I forgot to mention:

1. I have another ear infection. Although I am home right now, it actually started two days ago when I was still at school.

2. Betsy got the test results back today about what type of cancer she has. We're all really thankful that it's Hodgkins disease, and not non-hodgkins lymphoma. It's the same type of cancer that my mom and Heidi both had. I have my getting it tentativly marked on my calendar for some time in the next 3-8 years or so.

I'm back home for the holidays. Anne and I caravaned to her house in Ohio yesterday and I spent the night there before driving the rest of the way home this morning. The drive went pretty well, good weather, no car problems, and no traffic jams.

This afternoon I went over to Grandma's house in Full Dress under Arms. She seemed to really enjoy seeing me in the uniform.

It's good to be home, but I'll have to figure out something to keep me busy. I don't want to end up in front of the TV very much.

I'm still waiting on one grade, CS401, but my other grades are:
IT485 = A
IT460 = B
MS401 = B+
CS484 = A-
IT305 = A

And then a B- for my military grade. This past semester has been so much better than last year. I'm so glad that I'm not a CS major anymore. I actually enjoy life.

1 more TEE and then I'm done
1 more TEE and then it's time for fun
CS484 here I come.

My room is a mess right now because I am trying to organize and move my stuff out of it. We have to completely empty out our rooms over the break. Usually we get to at least store stuff in the closet, but they changed the regulation this time. Having a car here makes it a little easier, because I can clear out stuff and take it home, leaving more room for stuff in the trunk room.

One thing I like about West Point is how safe it feels, and how trustworthy most peple are here. For example, on Friday I accidently left my bag of crew gear in the entrance to the C-store. I didn't realize I'd forgotten it until Saturday night when I was looking for my running shoes. The C-store wasn't going to be open again until Monday morning around 8am, although it had been open on Saturday due to TEEs. My concern was not that somebody would steal my bag, in fact, that thought never even entered my mind. I was more concered about whether the C-store personal had left it in the C-store, or taken it down to Central Guard Room. I didn't want to walk all the way to C-store and then be told it was at CGR. I didn't bother going for my bag until Monday afternoon after lunch, and found it just where I'd left it in the C-store entrance. It made me think of how lucky I am to go here.

The Christmas Eve Leave service is tonight up at the Cadet Chapel. Yay! I really like that service.

The latest Joe Bear episode, Branching, is online now. Thanks Mom! :)

Something has to be wrong. I must be reading something wrong, calculating wrong, or looking at the wrong thing. On CIS it says for CS484 I got a 121/130 for Project 2. That's an A. An A! Why did my teacher give me an A? I my first submission was horrible, my part of the presentation was horrible. I tried to do better on my second and third submissions, but compared to another presentation, my work was no where near A level. I think my teacher was just really really really nice, and since he's retiring soon he was even more nice.

Classes are over. Tee week begins. Yay! Today I have IT305 in the afternoon, and then I don't have anything until Wednesday afternoon when I have CS484. Then I"m done.

The First Class is so short that we have fewer lessons until graduation than the plebes have months left at the academy.

The Family Cold strikes again.

Betsy came up with that name a while ago.

The trials are what purify us.
The tough times show us how weak we are and how much we need God.
When sickness, persecution, or the demands of life overwhelm us, we should rejoice and praise God, for it is then that God can work in and through us.

How short is the First Class?

The First Class is so short that we have few days left at the academy than the plebes have weeks.

Firstie Year Rules!

I can't believe this is lesson 40 of my firstie year first semester. Time sure flies when you're having fun, or when you're too busy from before sunup to after sundown to look at the calendar (as is my case).

Josh is back from the hospital and hobbling around on a cane. I saw him in the mess hall today and talked to him for a few minutes. He didn't have to get surgery, but says his blood looks like water right now due to all of the blood thinners. I guess he won't be giving blood this week at the blood drive.

Today I received the flu mist vaccination, (aka: the Flu Snort). I'd heard from people that it was worse than a shot because it was uncomfortable and tasted terrible, but I thought it was much better than a shot. I didn't notice any taste at all, and it wasn't all that uncomfortable. Although, the fact that I had a runny nose before hand and so was used to the sensation of the flu snort may have helped me. In any case, I've been vaccinated.

Currently I'm sitting in TH212 working on my CS484 project; the one that was due last Friday, and that I felt like I was a horrible project parter for it. I handed in a revised version of my part first thing Monday morning, after going in for AI on Friday afternoon. This morning in class he handed back the reports, and my report had a "See Me" message on it and no grade. He then proceeded to put on a red and green santa clause hat with a bell on top and tell our class that he was going to be a santa clause and allow us to resubmit our projects, with the resubmissions due Thursday morning.

Although LTC W. still seems to scare me for some reason, I must say that he is a very very very genreous man and has gone far beyond what he probably ever should do for our class. I always expect him to start yelling at us, since we do deserve it, or I do at least, but he hasn't. I'm not quite sure how he manages to keep his cool, but then again, I haven't been in the Army for 20 years and dealing with far worse situations than just stupid cadets.

In any case, I think I have a much better idea of how to do the project, and am going to try really hard to get it right this time.

I think tonight was God's way of telling met that I've studied the topic of modesty, dating, courtship, the role of women, God's design of stuff, and other related stuff enough for the moment, and that it is time to focus on something else. That is not to say that I have studied it enough at all, but only that it would soon be at the point where I focus too much on it.. Enough for now, take a break, come back later. It's a cycle. I just wish I could manage to gather all of what I've learned into one spot, perhaps in writing, for myself as well as to share with friends.

I wonder what topic will be next.

Originally the Thayer week was supposed to be over tomorrow morning, but my CS401 teacher has so kindly extended it to Friday. He somehow forgot, although he claims he mentioned it in class, to tell our class about a major paper due on Friday. We all thought it was due next semester, especually since we have a different research paper due in the class on Friday as well. Somehow the claim that he told us about it in class doesn't seem quite true, since no one, not a single one of the 18 cadets in the class, recall him mentioning anything about it being due this week. He's a LTC, I'm a CDT, what can I do but conclude I missed hearing him assign it and get it done.

The good news is that it is snowing outside and sticking to the ground. Fresh snow makes eveyrthing look better in winter.

Army lost to Navy this weekend in Philly. It was rather depressing, but we'll get them next year. My parents came for the game, and they came to the OCF banquet on Saturday after the game. I wish I had done the OCF Army Navy retreat previous years instead of waiting until this year to try it out. I really enjoyed it, although the fact that I had a lot of work hanging over my head put a damper on the weekend.

I wouldn't be suprised if my CS484 partner hates me and is cursing me right now. I think I just caused both of us to fail a project, becuase I don't understand my part of it and can't get it to work. Therefore I have nothing to show tomorrow during the presentation. Yes, I feel like a huge dirtbag.

Josh Howard, a guy in my OCF group, needs prayers right now. He was addmitted to Keller 2 days ago with a blood clot in his leg. Yesterday his situation got worse and he was moved to another hospital and is in the ICU. That's all I know.

Good Article: http://www.kevinsites.net/

It's a rainy day here.

The email servers for cadets and the server for CIS crashed last night leaving everyone with an inability to send, recieve, or read any email, as well as not finish CPRs and MD grades. It just happened that for CS484 our teacher planned on taking us over to DOIM to look at the servers over there and the set up of the network. Supposedly one of the technicians who talked to us explained the problem that occured last night, but we're all still in a state of confusion about it.

Projects due in the next few days:
Thursday - IT305 IS project
Friday - CS484 project and presentation
Monday - CS401 part of paper due to partners; IT460 paper due
Tuesday - MS401 capstone paper due

What I have almost complete so far:
IT305 IS project.

It's going to be a rough next few days, especially with Army-Navy in there taking up the whole weekend. However, after Tuesday I'll be golden. I have one TEE Saturday, which is IT305 and shouldn't be too bad. Then I don't have any TEEs until Wednesday, where I have CS484 in the afternoon. Easiest TEE schedule ever. This semester's been awesome.


Were there enough acronyms in there?
CIS -Cadet Information System (where grades and other information is stored)
DOIM - not sure what it stands for, but they are the network people
CPR - cadet performance report
MD - military development
IT - information technology
CS- computer science
MS- military science
TEE- term end exam (final exam)

I feel like I'm in a maze of phone numbers and I don't know how to get out.

Last night my ear was still hurting, and then kept me from sleeping very well during the night, so I went into sick call this morning to get it looked at. Turns out I have a rather nasty ear infection, so now I'm on motrin, ear drops, and amoxicillin. (The doctor did tell me that most ear infections are viral, not bacterial, but he still felt antibiotics were worth it in my case.) The doctor also told me to go see an ear, nose, and throat doctor due to the strange reoccurance of ear pain when I go home.

At the clinic this morning they told me to go online and make an appointment with the doctor, and also gave me two numbers I could call in order to make an appointment. I looked online and didn't find any appointment making places, so I called the numbers. The first one didn't work, and the person who answered the second one told me that I had to make an appointment through TriCare. He gave me a number to call, which I called. After some automated voices telling me to make different selections, I reached a real person who told me that I had to call someplace else, and she gave me the number. I called that number and another machine answered. It asked me to select my former TriCare region, which I had no clue about so I had to go online and figure that out. After I made the correct selection I reached a real person who proceeded to tell me that I needed a referral to make an appointment, and he gave me a name of a person who has to provide the referral, and a number for them to fax the referral to. I then tried to look up the name so that I could email her, but couldn't find it in the global address list for West Point. I decided to look up the doctor who had seen me earlier today so that I could email him and explain the situation, but he wasn't listed either.

Right now I'm wondering whether it's worth all the trouble of continuing my search of how to make an appointment. I may just say forget it and hope that since I'm driving home for Christmas, and any time from then on, I won't have any more ear trouble.

Back at school, back to the grind. The good news is that tomorrow I only have one class and it's last hour. First hour I'm meeting with Amanda for coffee at Grant.

Anyone want to trade ears? Mine work fine as long as I don't fly home to Michigan. They're still hurting. Grrr...

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's great to be home :)

For anyone going to the Joe Bear site and not finding the latest episode, it hasn't been posted yet. Last night I sent it out on the Joe Bear Distro. I'll post a message when it's online. If you are interested in being on the distro feel free to let me know. Usually the episodes are 4 or 5 MB in size.

The reaction over the new Joe Bear episode has been mixed. The guys who usually send emails saying Joe Bear is stupid, in a nice way, are the ones who like the new episode the most. However, the reaction from the girls has not been so good. They don' t like the branch that was choosen. I personally would have liked to have him branch Armor, but there's a decided lack of tanks around the barracks, and I couldn't think of any other way of depicting it.

Right now I'm feeling rather alone in my beliefs about women regarding modesty, courtship vs dating, marriage, roles of men and roles of women, and God's design for things.

I sent out a new Joe Bear episode tonight and at the bottom of the email I put Psalm 91:11. The embarrasing thing is that instead of the word "concerning" I accidently wrote "concerting."

Right now I should be studying for a WPR that I have tomorrow in IT460, Information Warfare, but I keep getting distracted. Can it be Tuesday right now instead of Sunday? That way I'd be going home tomorrow, instead of taking a test tomorrow.

Today I woke up around 8:30 even though my alarm was set to go off at 9:30. I read for a bit, and then got ready for Church. After Church Jason invited me to go out to lunch with the group, but I had a project meeting, so I turned down the invitation and ate in the mess hall instead. Right before my project meeting Dave stopped by my room and asked if I could drive him out to Buckner to get his car. He convinced me to push back the meeting by about 15 minutes, and I ended up driving him out there. My project group met at 1 for about 10 minutes and divided up the next portion of the IT305 project. Then I worked on it a bit and read while waiting for my cousing Isaac to call. He called around 2:30 to interview me for a class project. It was really cute. Then I went with Anne to the PX to try and get some subduded MI insignia, but they were still all out. Anne and I met again at 5 and walked up to the Cadet Chapel to go to Genesis. During the fellowship times we watched Veggie Tales videos. The title of the Genesis talk was "It's Not All About You." It was a really good message. After that I went and hung out in Jason and Charlie's room for a bit and talked about courtship and relationships. Now I'm back in my room half studying for a test.

I've been spending a lot of time with Jason and Charlie, and their group of friends this semester. They are both involved in a lot of the Christian activities I'm involved with, and togther we lead a weekly company Bible study on Romans. It's been awesome finding good Christian friends in the company, as well as the fact that they introduce me to other Christians that I didn't know before. Plus, since they only live two doors down, it's really easy to go over and talk to them and get a guy's perspective on stuff, or just joke around and make faces in the mirror with them.

I hear Michigan lost to Ohio State :( We'll beat them again next year.

Today marked the last home football game of my cadet career. It was cold, raining, and we lost. I don't think I'm going to miss mandatory football games very much.

This morning we had meetings with our branch reps. We talked about posting, MIOBC dates, and MI in general. Afterwords I came back to the room and read a tiny bit. I then decided to visit Jason and Charlie. They were playing Smash Brothers on Jason's computer and after a few minutes of watching that I felll asleep on their couch for about half an hour. When I woke up I went down the company BBQ, and then came back to my room and read for a bit. Then it was time to form up to march up to the stadium. As I said before, it was cold, raining, and we lost. After the game I went out to dinner with Abigail at Palisades. Now I'm here writing this and wondering why I am putting off going to bed when what I really want to do right now is go to bed. I think I shall go to bed now.

Yesterday as I was waiting at Mac Statue for Mrs. D to pick me up for our weekly Bible study a car drove around the corner and I saw a red one star license plate on the front of it. My first thought was to turn and duck inside, but not wanting to seem cowardly, and not wanting to keep Mrs D waiting when she showed up, I stayed where I was on the sidewalk. Military etiquette states that we're supposed to salute the vehicales with General's flags on them, so I saluted the car, but felt like I looked rather stupid out there all alone saluting a car. I was hoping the car would drive right on by to the Supe's house without stopping, but it of course stopped right in front of me. Not sure if my first salute had counted, I saluted again. Then the General's aid, a Major, got out of the car, so I saluted him. Finally the Brigadere General stepped out of the car, so I then saluted him. I was very relieved once they walked away and the car drove off.

Then this morning after I recieved my polio shot I decided to go to Grant to get some hot chocolate to drink. As I was walking down the sidewalk I saw the General and the Major headed my direction. Once again I hoped that either I'd be inside Grant before they passed, or that they would pass right on by and I could salute and greet and be over with the interation. Of course, it didn't work out that way. Right as I reached Grant they turned to walk up to Grant as well. I saluted and greeted, but instead of saying "Good Morning gentlemen," it came out "Good Afternoon, gentlemen." The time was 8:45 am. The general asked me if Grant was open, and I told him I thought so, and opened the door. I think I was supposed to open the door for both of them and let them pass through first, but I opened the door and the Major then held it while I walked through and then the General. There wasn't any room to move to the side to let him through first. I hope it wasn't too much of a military etiquette blunder.

I really hope that was my last encounter with him. I don't know who it was, and was too busy trying not to make a fool of myself to look at his nametape (I failed in the not looking like a fool part.) I'll be happy if Generals stay out of my vicinity for awhile.

Sunday night was branch night. I haven't posted my branch results up until now due to the fact that I couldn't access blogger on Sunday, and then I left for FL on Monday. Anyway, I got my first choice, Military Intelligence :) I may not get the post I want, but I'm happy having the branch I want.

Eric Mbog-hob, USMA class of 2004, may he rest in peace.

Currently I'm at a resort in Disney World due to a conference that is going on here. My group presented today and it went fairly well. Afterwords we recieved a lot of compliments. Although I'm at Disney World, I don't actually get to visit any of the parks, but I don't mind.

The time away from school has given me more time to read and listen to Focus on the Family shows. I've done a lot of thinking and stuff. I just wish that I had someone to talk to about it right now. Unfortunatly, my laptop won't connect to the internet, and my cell phone won't complete any calls.

I'll be back at school tomorrow afternoon.

I have all new tires on my jeep :)

It's snowing! Realy snowing, not just flurrying, with big flakes that stick to the ground. Yay :)

This morning I woke up at 6 to go volunteer at the Salvation Army a few towns away. Jim, Chris, Jay(?), and I shoveled gravel on a driveway for four hours. It was a good workout, and the driveway looked much better once we were done. I made it back to West Point just in time to be picked up by Mrs D., my ocf group leader, to eat lunch at her house with her and the kids. It was delicous, and I enjoyed meeting the kids again. After that I had about an hour to relax/get ready to go to the Passion concert in NYC with Jim and Joey. The concert was really good, except I have an Africa in my life that I'm having trouble with.
Plus, my mind was wandering a lot. It's been doing that more recently when I pray, and I don't like it. I want to be focused on God, not on anything else. So frustrating.

An Africa is something that you are worried God will ask you to do if you give your whole life to him. It comes from people being worried that God will tell them that he wants them to give up everything and go be a missionary in Africa.

I'm the founding member of CFBG(IF), Cadets For Black Gloves (In Formation). So far there is a membership of about five or six. Everyone I've told about it has agreed to join.

What is wrong with wearing black gloves at lunch formation? Is it against the law? It's 37 degrees out (26 degrees this morning, but we got to wear black gloves). I don't mind cold weather...if my hands and feet are warm. When I was little I could go out and run around in the snow in shorts and a t-shirt because my hands were warm. I naturally have cold hands and feet, but if they are warm, I am warm. Now, when it is cold out and I have a choice of what to wear, I know how to wear clothes that don't let the cold and the wind seep right through them. The As For Class uniform, however, is not made that way, and even the slightest bit of wind or cold air zips right on through.

CONGRATULATIONS ANNE!

Anne, one of my best friends, won a Marshall Scholarship. I'm so happy for her. She's worked extremely hard for it, and I am so proud of her. YAY ANNE!

During Beast I thought my dream job would be sitting in an air conditioned office at a desk all day, but now I think that would be a nightmare unless it was a job that I really really loved, and understand. Perhaps that is my biggest problem. Most of my experiance with having to sit at a desk all day, or at least for long stretches at a time, has been while doing things I don't understand and feel frustrated and clueless as to how to go about understanding/accomplishing them. Thus, I can't wait for the end of the day when I can leave that desk behind and get outside into the fresh air.

This all relates to my senior capstone project. I feel a little like a useless third wheel, that is a square, not a circle. I just sit there.

And on that note, I leave Monday with my project partners to go to a conference on PKI in Orlando and present our project to the NSA, DOD, and whoever else wants to listen in.

Happy 200th night :)

Forgiveness, what an amazing gift.

1) release from bondage or imprisonment

2) forgiveness or pardon, of sins (letting them go as if they had never been committed), remission of the penalty

(Strongs)

The view from my window is beautiful.

Last night when I I got back to West Point after the race it was about 11:30 pm. I went and put some trash in a garbage can, and when I looked up all I could say was "Wow!" The night sky in front of me appeared to envelop the earth, and the stars in the sky were more dazzeling then I remembered. I spent the walk to my room with my head tilted up towards the sky looking at all the stars.

BTW, my boat got 4th in our race, and beat every other college/university team in the race. It was club teams that got us. Don't they know that is what the club entry is for?

Whatever happened to wearing gloves?

It is 42 degrees out right now and the uniform for lunch formation is BDU's. Not BDU's under field jacket, not even Bdu's wearing gloves. No, just BDU's...with the first class wearing sabers.

I just happened upon a friend, Charlie's, away messages, and it seemed to speak directly to me.

you're never really ready
you never have time,
you make time,
you're never mature enough

I doubt he had any idea that when he put that up as his away message it would speak to someone, let alone me, but it did, especially in regards to a post from a few days ago. Not that it really changes anything, but it's food for thought.

The meeting with Amanda and Mrs. D. was just what I needed to get me through today. Today was our first weekly meeting where we get together for an hour of discussion, Bilble Study, and prayer. It was great.

Today is acting like a Wednesday.

A couple of weeks, or maybe it was months, ago I wrote about how I had decided that "I wanted to try and not focus on guys/relationships and not date anyone for at least the next three months." Well, over the past three months I've done a lot of praying, thinking, and reading, and come to some realizations about myself and where I am. I used to think that I was ready for a relationship, and that the only thing I was waiting for was for the right guy to show up. However, I now believe that even if Mr. Right did show up right now I'd have to send him away and tell him to come back later.

Although I still sometimes wish I were in a relationship right now, most of the time I no longer feel that longing. That is not to say that I do not hope to one day be in one, however, I am not mature enough to be in one, nor do I have the time or energy for one at the moment.

When I say that I am not mature enough for a relationship, what I am mostly talking about is spiritually maturity. This semester I've been trying to put God first, draw closer to Him, read the Bible more, grow in my faith, and learn as much as I can. I've felt like God has been telling me that I'm in a period of growing and waiting right now, and to focus my time on Him and not even look for a relationship.

I know that if a guy entered the picture right now I would not be able to handle it, because I would end up letting the time I spent with either God or the guy slip, and it most likely would be God. Therefore, I have no interest in a relationship at the moment.

I don't know how long this period will last for me, but I am fine with however long it takes, as long as God remains number one in my life.

I need to learn how to love God and others, and also accept God's love.
I need to learn how to put God first at all times in all things.
I need to have a more personal relationship with Jesus.
I need to grow in my faith and become more firm in my beliefs.

Any thoughts?

I voted, did you?

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

I love fall.

It's been a long night. I'm not a fan of windows update, and neither are the people in my company.

A new Joe Bear episode is posted.


Thank you Heidi and S. Woods for both of your gift certificates. I really appreciate them and have a long list of books I want to buy :)

Being one of the "golden children," as some of the girls on the team have named the members of my boat, isn't always so golden. It means being out on the water when everybody else gets a day off. Oh well, this is what I've been working towards since plebe year, so I guess I shouldn't complain.

This is where I stand at 10 week grades:



CS401 I2 A 15%

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CS484 A1 A- 20%

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IT305 A+ 26%

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IT460 B 30%

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IT485 A 19%

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MD401 C 10%

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MS401 A- 30%

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PE424 NA 20%

As you can see, there is a lot or work left in every class, which means there is a lot of time for my grades to go up or down.

Seeing my TAC and TACNCO down at the boathouse experiancing the pain of the erg this morning along with the rest of the Brigade Tactical Department was a great birthday present.

Thank you Family for the birthday package. I love the stuff in it :)

There is a lot of yelling going on in the hallway and outside due to the Yankee's vs Red Sox's game. As much as I enjoy playing baseball, I'm not a big fan of watching the game. I turned it on for a few minutes, and almost became interested, but turned it off before I could actually start to really watch it so that I could get back to work. Work work work, that is what I've been doing.

Thank you Heidi for the books. I got them in the mail today, and am about a quarter of the way through right now.

This past weekend I read the student edition of the book The Case for Christ. When I bought it I didn't realize I was buying the student edition, so at first the writing style seemed a bit odd to me, but then it made sense once I figured out the reason. I enjoyed the book and it helped me, but I'd like to read the original edition. I think I'd get even more out of that one.

Jasmin, you and your family are in my prayers.

Thursday-Monday are going to be Thayer days for me. Thursday I have to teach a class to my company on Microsoft Outlook, and all the fancy stuff you can do on it. Friday is my birthday, and also an IT305 WPR. Saturday and Sunday are the Head of the Charles Regatta, of which I am now the Cadet-In-Charge (CIC). Monday I have a project due in CS484 and part of a project due in IT305. I was hoping to organize the praise and worship thing for Thursday, but then it got moved to Friday, and now neither of those days will work, so Charlie was saying Sunday, but I'll be getting back late, so someone suggested Monday, but I'm not sure if that will work either.

I really wish I could go on the OCF fall retreat, but I have a regatta that weekend. Crew seems to be getting in the way of a lot of things this year. Perhaps that is because there is more that I want to do than in previous years.

http://www.basementwindowfilms.com/armyusf.wmv

We have a winning streak. GO ARMY!

This weekend is plebe parent weekend for the class of 2008. I, however, am getting out of here. Tomorrow I'm going down to Philly for a regatta on Saturday. Then, after the race some friends and I are heading back up to the Catskills to meet up with some of our other friends at our usual cabin. On Sunday some of us are hopefully going mountain biking. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to the long three day weekend.

Everyday I get on the water with the thought that this will be the day that I push myself harder than ever before. My favorite words to hear uttered from my coach are "full pressure." I start rowing, trying to stay in control as I move up the slide, and then let the power in my legs explode as I pull the oar through the water. With each stroke the burning in my legs increases, but my only thoughts are of putting more distance between myself and the other boats in the water. The coxswain yells for a power ten. I hear someone screaming, and then realize that the sound is actually coming from myself as I try and find any last bit of strength hiding in my body. I leave every ounce of energy out on the water, because I know that if I don't, the other boat will. The burning in my legs is replaced with the relization that I can feel the skin being torn lose from my hands. My world starts to become black around the edges as the words "final stretch" echo through the air. My body begs for mercy, for rest, but I push it even harder. The end finally comes when I have exhausted all the strength in my body. As the adrenaline fades away the fire in my hands increase. I look down and see blood covering my oar, and new blisters forming on my hands. Yet the only thing that makes any difference to me is if my boat beat the other boat by a greater distance today than yesterday.

Yet another day down. Not much happened today worthy of mentioning, just the usual class, practice, hw, and avoiding hw.

On a totally different subject...
When I read the New Testament it seems so alive, every verse seems to jump out at me and speak directly to me. However, I'd been having trouble reading the Old Testament. It didn't seem to speak to me in the same way, and it didn't really catch my interest. After yet another frustrating attempt last Thursday I prayed and asked God that he would show me how to read the Old Testement. That evening I went to the OCF prayer time at the cadet interfailth center like usual on Thursday nights, and Ryan and Jim were already there. We sat and talked for a little while about God, faith, and then Ryan mentioned he was reading the Old Testament, and I knew right away that God was providing the answer to my prayers. I told Jim and Ryan about how I was having trouble getting excited about the Old Testement in the same way as the New Testement. Ryan told me to start at the beginning and read the old testement through. There was the answer, so simple, so obvious, and yet I had completely ignored it before. I've started to read it that way again, and am getting so much more out of it. God definetly does answer prayer.

A new Joe Bear episode is long overdue, but I've been having a brain block as to what the story should be. He now has a scuba outfit, thanks to Heidi :) and a new bdu-wearing cadet-bear friend in another company, thanks to Amanda. What should his next adventure be? Help!

One of the cows in my company: Riding the Goal Post after Army wins

ARMY BEAT CINCINNATI!!!!

It's been both a good and a frustrating night. I'm pretty sure some people think I'm crazy, or at least have some messed up beliefs now. Of course, I kinda expected that reaction if I talked about the Holy Spirit and what kind of stuff I grew up with as the norm. If it were non-Christians who thought that I wouldn't mind too much, but it's strong Christians that I've talked to who don't know much about it, or have any experiance with it. Talking about it makes me uncomferatble, makes them uncomferterable, and is hard, so what do I do? Am I crazy, and along with me my friends and family?

I have a WPR tomorrow in IT460 that I have not studied for and am no where near ready to take. It's time to say goodbye to my good grades.

Branching Preferences
1 MILITARY INTELLIGENCE
2 SIGNAL CORPS
3 ENGINEERS
4 ADJUTANT GENERAL CORPS
5 AIR DEFENSE ARTILLERY
6 FIELD ARTILLERY
7 MILITARY POLICE
8 ARMY AVIATION
9 MEDICAL SERVICE CORPS
10 CHEMICAL
11 ORDNANCE
12 TRANSPORTATION CORPS
13 QUARTERMASTER CORPS
14 FINANCE CORPS

There is one thing that I really want for my Birthday, and it is a prayer meeting. Most people usually associate turning 21 with going out and drinking the night away with friends, but what i really want is to instead have a time of praising, worshiping, praying, singing, and experianceing the power of God and the Holy Spirit with friends. Please pray for it.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everthing, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God , which trancends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. "
Philippians 4:6-7

I have to put in my choices for branches by Friday. Military Intelligence is first on my list, but I keep flip-flopping between Engineers and Signal for number two. I haven't even decided what order the the other nine branches are going to go in. It's only a little decision that only affects the next five to twenty years of my life. Perhaps I'll just use a dart board to choose.

This weekend is the first race of my last year of rowing, or at least rowing for a school.

I had a really good time with my parents. It's unfortunate that I won't be around for the tailgate that they are in charge or tomorrow. I'm glad that I at least was able to spend time withe them yesterday and today.

I have so much I want to write, but I need to get to bed. Good night.

Such a feeling of relief and a weight lifted. Sorry, not willing to tell the whole world, so I'm not going to write more than that.

I used to write about almost anything, school, guys I liked, my day to day life, but now I tend to avoid writing about a lot of things. I don't write much about my school day, because I've already lived it once, and I don't feel like re-living it again in telling it. The subject of guys I am interested in is avoided, or even talking about my relationship if I happen to be in one, is avoided because it's too personal.

I've changed from a person who didn't care who read this and what they thought, to a person who is more concerned about my privacy. One of my classes is making me guard my privacy even more. We talk about information warfare, the ethics involved, and then get hands on training. The class is fairly enjoyable, although there is a lot of reading every night, most of which I skim, and by skim I mean scroll down the page and read one or two words.

It's amazing how things change.