When eating a frozen apple one should avoid big bites. Now I bet you are wondering what person thinks of freezing an apple, let alone eating a frozen apple. Me. Actually, it wasn't my idea to freeze the apple, the fridge thought of it for me when I stuck the apple too close to the little freezer compartment. Yes, my fridge can think. It keeps Alyson and I on our toes by throwing bottles and containers out at us ever so often when we open the door, and it also decides how warm or cold the food should be. Usually it likes to make the food that should be kept frozen, not frozen, and the food that doesn't need to be frozen, it freezes. Hence, I have a frozen apple. I'm thinking about having my fridge go in my place to a few of my classes for me sometime. I hardly think my teachers would notice that there was a fridge sitting in my seat instead of me. Anway, back to the apple. Since my fridge decided I would like my apple frozen, I figured I'd give it a try. I think I need to talk to my fridge about it's ideas of what I like, because the frozen apple wasn't a big winner with me. Although, I can understand how it may have thought I'd like a frozen apple, since I am a huge ice fan. Oh well. I guess it's the thought that counts.


Yes, I do know that you probably think i'm weird, but I prefer the term "Delightfully Odd." : )

Yesterday I felt like I was on the verge of slipping back into survival mode, and I didn't like it one bit. Last year I lived in survival mode the whole year as a CS major, and it sucked. Yesterday my senior project group had a meeting with our project advisor, and it basically sounded like my life for the next year would be sucked up by this project. Then I started thinking about all of the other projects that I am supposed to be doing, my IT485 project, CS484 project, company website and microsoft outlook project, crew website and database project, IT305 projects, and then a IT460 project, and trying to fit crew and stuff like TA-50 inspections and SAMI's in there. It was rather overwhelming.

After the meeting I walked back to my room feeling quite drained. I once again reminded myself of how I survived beast and plebe year, taking it in small chunks, sometimes as small as a second at a time because that was all I could handle. I'd be walking to a class and stressing out about everything I had to do that day, and I would have to stop and think in my mind "Kate, you are walking to class. You do not have the ability to do anything about the other things in your life at the moment, so stop thinking about them. Just focus on walking. Take it one step at a time."

While walking back I kinda of cried out to God and said "God, you know my circumstances right now and that I am feeling overwhelmed. You are in control, I give my projects to you. Please help me do what I need to do, and bring me peace." My anxiety then subsided a bit.

When I got back to my room I decided to work on my TA-50 and DX some of it, as well as search in the trunk room for my rope gloves, rope, and 3 magazines. I was able to DX everything I need to DX, and then I found my 3 magazines in the trunk room. While I was down there I also said a quick prayer asking God to help me find the box of books that I mentioned in a previous entry, and when I looked up it was sitting on the shelf right in front of me. I also had a feeling that I should look in my trunk for my rope gloves, and when I checked my trunk they were in there. I felt like God was showing me that he is in control and all I have to do is trust in Him. Prayer is an amazing thing.

"For I know the plans I have for you -- plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
~Jeremiah 29:11

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowldege him, and he will make your paths straight."
~Proverbs 3: 5-6

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
~Proverbs 16:9

God is in control of my life. He has a plan for me. My life is his. His will be done.

Right now I am missing a number of books. I hope that I wasn't really out of my mind last semester and threw them out when I was packing up my room. I think I put them in a box in the trunk room, and every time I am down there I do another search, but so far I've had no luck finding it. I really miss the books. They include:

I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris (Amanda may still have it. I don't remember if she returned it)
Boy Meets Girl, by Joshua Harris
Strong's Concordance
a book of prayers and daily meditations
a book on SQL
a book on PHP
a book on UML
Wild at Heart, by that one guy (that one may actually be in my trunk)
and numerous other books that I have forgotten about.

My only other thought is that perhaps I took some of them home over summer and left them there. I really hope that I didn't throw them out.

Incredible. That is how I can describe the past few days. I'll write more later.

Sleep at last. Something I've known so little of this past week. Plus, I can sleep in tomorrow until 6:15. Yay for no morning practice :)

Why is this not posting?

hmm...

Currently I have no grips about the new Comm. It's the BTO who is making life miserable. ;alksjf;aslgkhap;eurnj;ksldkaso;ieysa.dghaeu[;wtg;psaughslfhaskfja'seiohtg[uwaefn;sdjfn aslfkha'eosuh adsf (insert any desired words)

I think I have more edge dressing on my hands than I do on the stuff I just blackend.

Sorry, right now I am in a very cynical mood. Today was an emotional rollercoaster. This morning I was on an emotional high, followed by now where I am stressed out. The good news is that I found out I have an all expense paid trip to Orlando, FL about a week before Thanksgiving. My project partners and I are going to present at a conference. I also was informed that basically I have an extremely good shot at getting my dream job at the NSA if I decide to leave the Army after 5 years and want to work for them, due to the nature of the work I am doing right now and who I'm doing it for. That all said, I'm not sure if I'm interested in the NSA anymore. Ah well, that's 5.5 years from now. It's amazing how things change. I may stay in, I may get out, I may work for the NSA, I may be a missionary.

Go School!

I'm rather hyper right now, which doesn't mix well with being in class. I think I got too much sleep this past weekend, and am too happy about the conversation I had with Chad, who is my IT485 project partner, last night. We covered everything from class, to camping, to Christianity. Hmm, I guess the c topics win.

"I'm an amazon princess" -Tyler (I guess everyone is hyper today)

This evening I asked Alyson if I should start checking her hand for a ring when she comes back from a weekend with Drew. No ring this weekend, perhaps Christmas for her. Anne and I still part of the support group NGEUT*, and are thinking of starting an outreach group. It's too late for Brian and Josh, but Anne has decided to try and reach Leah before it's too late.

*Never Get Engaged Until Thirty. After starting the group I promply started dating someone last year. Funny how things work. Anne and I are both convinced that the other one will be engaged before Christmas now that we have started said groups. It's all in good fun.

Thoughts on this week's crew practice training schedule:

Kate10: AAAAAHHHHH!
iren1305: i know!
iren1305: (crew right?)
Kate10: yep
iren1305: SO angry
Kate10: i'm going to be dead by the weekend
Kate10: no energy, no ability to stay awake
iren1305: seriously
iren1305: i think he hates us
Kate10: i think you are right
iren1305: its so sad

Happy Labor Day :)

I spent the weekend camping in the catskill mountains with Anne. We did a lot of reading, sleeping, trying to get a fire going, and eating s'mores. I hope that later this year I'll be back in the catskills backpacking with Leah and Celio.

It's so nice being a firstie and knowing that I no longer have to go to accountability formation for the under three classes.

I hope that Matt S, Matt G and his family, and Charlie's family are all doing okay and that Hurrican Frances hasn't caused any damage for them.

Today was another normal day here. I got up at 5 for practice, after which I changed into AFC and grabbed a quick breakfast down at the boathouse, followed by class from 7:35-11. I miss being able to sleep in until 6:10 and making it to breakfast formation and breakfast in the mess hall. First hour on morning practice days kills me, so I've taken up drinking a little coffee before class starts in hopes of staying awake.

My CS401 class is double blocked and today my instructor let us out of the second hour of the class early, so I headed over to MAJ Burrow's office to discuss the crew website, which I am in charge of this year. My coach was also over there, since they are both EECS instructors, so we talked a bit about how practice went this morning. It looks like we probably will have a strong four this year.

After the meeting with MAJ Burrow I stopped by the bookstore and ended up buying a book. By that time it was time for lunch formation, so I headed back to the barracks, dropped by books off in my room and grabbed my saber and gloves. Then I headed down to formation, followed by lunch. I've been the table comm the past few day's because Alyson has been on quarters after her lasec eye surgery. The plebes at the table are getting better at duties, and learning that a way to avoid being hazed by the upperclassmen is to grab extra fruit, milks, and desserts. They've also been really good about supplying the table with Simpson's trivia and other random facts.

Lunch was followed by an hour of free time in my room where I read the NY Times and grabbed a quick nap. I had to head to golf class at 1:40, and once again had to face the fact that I am no Tiger Woods. From there I went to rehab for my shoulders. Next week I have a follow-up appointment to see if any progress has been made, although I can't tell any difference.

Anne and I were going to go running at 3:30 and then head down to the boathouse, but around 3:25 I heard two sharps knocks on my door. It was my TAC at the door looking to talk to Alyson, but since she was in bed trying to hide from light he grabbed me instead. I had to come up with a plan for him of how to make sure all the firsties had gone to the uniform show, and gather up any stranglers and send them down there in the next 30 minutes. There went my run with Anne. Alyson already had a semi-complete list of who had gone, and so there were only about seven people I had to go check on. I went on Monday and spent $1200 on my real Army uniforms. I was only half joking when I asked my dad if my birthday and Christmas presents this year could be helping me out with paying for the uniforms.

Once I'd accomplished the task of sending the stranglers down to the uniform show I headed down to the boathouse. Originally I was supposed to help out with the novies, but it turned out that I didn't have to today, so instead I had to help install the rest of the launching dock.

After the dock was in I went back to my room, showered, and got ready for dinner formation. Originally it was supposed to be a spirit dinner with a Go Army theme, but that was canceled at the last minute. Instead we had to sport the usual white-over-grey.

Thursday night dinners are usually a little more chill than the other meals, but today it started out almost like a normal meal. One of the plebes was jacked up and had forgotten to put his name tag on his uniform. They also were not paying attention to detail, and were reciting the meals wrong. They were reciting what was on the menu, but the food that was in front of us was different than what was on the menu, and they hadn't made the change, so we got on them for that. Plus, they didn't know the definition of leather, how many lights there are in Cullum Hall, or how many gallons of water are in Lusk Reservoir. After they finished their duties it calmed down a bit. For the Thursday dinner entertainment they sang us the Lumberjack Song and then had the usual Simpson's trivia ready.

After dinner all of the firsties had to meet outside Mac so James could drive us up to the lots and do POV inspections.

Following the POV inspections I went back to my room and started my hw. At 9 I had a quick meeting with my IT305 project partners to discuss the layout of our web portal that is due next week. Now I have to go shine my boots for tomorrow, because it is a Friday, and Friday's mean BDU's :) I'm hoping to get to bed early, around 11, tonight because I have morning pratice again tomorrow. Last night was the first night this week I got more than 5 hours of sleep, and I'd like to repeat that experiance.

I have a little time before I have to go to rehab and class, and I want to take a break from doing work, so I think I'll actually get around to posting something.

Congratulations Brain and Mary, and Josh and Erin for getting engaged this past weekend :)

This past weekend was a lot of fun. On Friday, my golf instructor allowed us to have class an hour early so that we could leave earlier. After the class I went back to my room and discovered that I felt exhausted. I had a few hours before my parents got in, so I decided to crash on my bed and take a nap. My parents made it to West Point around 5 or 6, and we went out to eat with Anne and her family, Annah and her parents, and a few other cadets. I was going to go to a movie with Anne and her brother after dinner, but my cold was acting up and the only thing I wanted to do was sleep. My sisters got into the hotel around midnight, and I said a quick hi to them and then proceeded to go back to sleep.

Saturday I woke up around 8:30 and went shopping for a pair of black high heels to wear to the banquet, because my issued ones were in extremely poor shape. Unforutunatly, I couldn't find any that would work. Heidi, Betsy, and I headed out to the sushi resturant in New Paltz around 10:30, and the trip was rather uncomfertable because my AC wasn't working and it was rather hot and humid. My parents met us at the resturant, and we had a nice lunch with a bunch of my friends and their families.

After lunch we headed to West Point and I went back to my room to start getting ready for the ring ceremony. We formed up for the ceremony at 4:30 in our India Whites. As I said, it was a very hot and humid day, and we were standing at attention for the whole thing. One of the guys in my company had to sit down, and I later found out that a TAC fainted. I was afraid that I wouldn't like my ring, but when I opened up the box I gasped at how beautiful it looked. It felt great putting on the ring, and I still can't help holding up my hand admiring it.

After the ceremony I took a bunch of pictures with my family and friends, and then headed back to the barracks. They didn't allow the plebes to do the ring poop outside this year, but there was a 30 minute time span that they could do it in the barracks. I must have been stopped 6 or 7 times just going up the stairs by plebes doing the ring poop.

Following that was the banquet and hop. Sunday was spent going to Church and then lounging around with my family. My dad was really nice and fixed the AC on my car. Of course, that means a cold spell is going to hit now and won't end until my AC breaks.

The best parts of the weekend were giving my parents their gifts, seeing my sisters again, having Betsy visit West Point for the first time, and having all of my friends meet my sisters, and of course receiving my ring. All of my friends commented on how similiar my sisters and I look. I always thought we looked a little similar, but not to the extent that my friends seemed to think. Oh well, I think my sisters are both beautiful, so if I look like them that is fine with me.

So much to say about the past few days, but no time to write. Actually, I have had some time, but I've spent it doing other things, like sleeping, hanging out with friends, reading, talking on IM or the phone, doing that thing called homework, and any other number of things with my little bit of spare time.

Woohoo! I just got my DOD decal for my car, which will make life a lot easier this weekend. I had heard it usually takes about a month for them to process the request, and since I turned the paperwork in on Tuesday, I figured that there was no way it would be done in time. I said a small prayer, and it worked:) Now I won't have to worry about the long traffic lines in the non-DOD decal lane when trying to get back on post.

Loving the vitamin C.

Alyson is a great person. She's kind, easy to get along with, a great roommate, but sometimes she share's a little too much. I say this because she has decided to share her cold with me. Ever since I got back to school I've been taking a multi-vitamin and drinking a glass of OJ at breakfast in hopes of avoiding catching anything. The period after a break is prime time for catching colds, because everyone brings back all the bugs from where they've been over the break. Alyson caught a nasty sounding cold last week that has left her voice sounding more like a frog than a human. My plan of avoiding getting sick was working until I lay down for a nap this afternoon and I noticed a little pre-cold tickle in my throat. I've spent the rest of the evening drinking water, eating oranges, eating Ricola vitamin C drops, and going for a run, in hopes that I can fend this thing off. So far it doesn't seem to be working. The runny nose started during my hw, and my head is starting to feel more and more cold-like. I figure I'll know the answer for sure tomorrow morning after crew practice.

Ring weekend begins the day after tomorrow, or in 1 hour 10 minutes, tomorrow. YAY!!

It seems that recently I've been having more and more aches and pains. My foot last semester, my shoulders, stupid cold, and also my elbow. Grrr. According to Alyson, who is a Chem Life Science major and applying to med school, so to me her diagnosis is as good as a doctor's, I probably have a pinched nerve in my elbow. No clue how that happened. I noticed it on Monday when it felt like I had a rather painful bruise, but I couldn't find a bruise. Then in the evening I noticed my elbow was a bit numb. It feels like it is getting better, although every now and then I put my elbow down in a spot that touches off whatever is causeing the pain, and it shoots through my elbow. Ah well, life wouldn't be interesting if we couldn't feel.

People probably find my blog rather annoying to read, which I don't mind in the least. The fewer readers, the better, because then I don't have to wonder as much about who is reading it. In any case, my entries rarely are written very well. Grammar, spelling, paragraph flow, and that other stuff and junk, I choose to ignore while writing. When I write it is basically a brain dump for me. I passed EN302, with a lot of prayers I should add, so I do posses some knowledge of how to write correctly, but that takes time and energy. Time and energy happen to be precious commodaties here, and I'm not about to spend them on this, although it does annoy me when I write something and I know that the grammar or spelling is wrong, but I rarely bother to go back and correct it. I'd rather remain annoyed and have the extra time.

There is a plebe in D1 who has the same name as me, except her first name is Katie. So far I've gotten 2 of her emails, and one laundry bag of hers. She tried out for the crew team, but I only saw her at the first day of tryouts. We've met once.

GO USA! The USA mens olympic 8 took gold in the rowing finals. YAYAYAY! The USA women's 8 took silver.

I finally won my battle against American Online. I called them today and had about a 15 minute argument with the sales guy as he tried to argue that since I wasn't paying for the account for one month I should wait until OCT18th to call and cancel. However, if I waited until the 19th, I'd be billed for the next month. I just kept repeating over an over "I don't care if it is free. I'm not using it, I don't want it, I want to cancel my account." I think the highlight was when he told me "Don't get upset. Have a glass of water. Have a glass of water." In reality I found the whole thing both frustrating and amusing. The other highlight was when I told him "I go to a school that is like a prison." I think that finally conviced him to allow me to cancel the account. Afterwords, Alyson said the whole conversatin sounded like a nightmarer, and she couldn't believe they were doing that to me.

The air outside has the cool, crisp feel and smell of an autum night. I love being able to stick my head out my window and see the hudson river and the hills sourounding it. It's so much better than looking into north area.

It's raining
It's pouring
I had an APFT
this morning.

Since it is an A/C weekend this weekend all of the regiments had to do some sort of PT. My regiment decided to have everyone take a diagnostic APFT. Due to the rain, however, it ended up being held indoors, and the run was canceled. On Monday I took an APFT for crew tryouts, minus the pushups, and did 75 situps in the 2 minutes. Today I only did 62 situps. The drop in situps is a bit puzzeling.

At 1030 all of the firsties had a DMI military branch briefing. I think I've changed my first branch choice to Military Intelligence. I have to input my order of branches between 4 OCT and 8 OCT, and then on 14 NOV I find out what I'll be doing for at least the next 5 years.

Last night Leah, Celio, Anne, Annah, and myself drove over to New Paltz (spelling?) and had dinner at a Thia resturant. It's so nice to be able to leave on weeknights. Right down the street is the sushi resturant that Leah has organized for us to go with our families fo lunch next Saturday. I suppose I should inform my family of this fact, since they will be up here. I can't wait to have them up here agian :)

Yay! Thunderstorm. The only bad part is that my car is still up in the lots, and although I'd like to get out of here this afternoon, I don't want to run up and get my car in a thunderstorm. Reading and sleeping, here I come.

This morning I went to orthopedic sick call so that an orthopedic surgeon could look at my shoulder. I had gone on Monday afternoon to have it checked out, and they started me on rehab and told me to come back Friday morning to have them checked out some more. This morning the surgeon basically told me what I was told on Monday. I have multi-directional something or other, and surgery won't help me. Instead, they put me on a finely tuned rehab program in hopes that it helps. It was not a great confidence builder when the orthopedic surgeon called all of the other officers in the room, as well as all the trainies, over to take a look at my shoulders. He told me that what I have is level 3a something or other, and that high level swimmers, gymnasts,and baseball pitchers are usually the people that it is seen in. Kinda odd since I am none of those. Anyway, I'm not on profile, but they are going to watch me closely throughout the year. Basically I have to strengthen my rotator cuff muscle, because all of my ligiments are too loose to do me any good in trying to keep my shoulders in their sockets.

For crew tryouts today we had to do as many leg presses as we could do until muscle failure. I did 818 leg presses in a row with an average leg press of 57kg, or aproximetly 125 lbs. The reason I stopped was not because I had reached muscle failure, but because I had reached boredom failure, and Ana accidently running into my machine and causing me to stop for a minute gave me an excuse to stop. Kate and Ana both made it to 1000, but I was going slower than them. I feel like I should have kept going. When I got off the machine my legs felt fine, but my butt hurt from sitting for so long. Since my group was the first to go, we had girls who only did around 200, and then some poeple who did 1000. I don't know how the second group did.

Robin Sage:

The short story is that I was a guerilla names Star who was an orphan. I joined the guerilla band because the UPA's kicked me out of Pineland State University because I wouldn't join them. That was that story for the character I played during the exercise. Pineland was the country we were in, which actually covered abotu a third of North Carolina. The two base camps my group stayed at were between Ashborro and Greensborro NC. (wrong spellings)

Since I was a guerilla, I had to pretend that I didn't know anything about the military, being tactical, or any common knowledge. It was pretty fun playing stupid, because it made the exercise very relaxed and easy. Christy, aka Toots, and I shared a tent together. There were 6 of us girls, all West Pointers. Our names were Star, Toots, Gwen, Trixie (previously Baby), Conception, and Daisy. We were supposed to play the role of COL Ricco's girls, except I didn't know how to play that role very well, and gave up at it after the first morning or so. After that I was just another guerilla, and became a squad leader. The other guerilla fighters were ROTC cadets and enlisted soldiers. There were about 25 - 30 of us total. COL Ricco was our leader. He's actually a retired SF soldier who now trains SF candidates.

The SF guys were pretty cool, and I felt bad for them because they were all extremely tired and hungry, and we had to be uncooperative eith them, and not give them any food or anything. The first 2 days were basically camping in the woods. No guard, camp fire all the time, everyone does their own thing. I had some really good conversations with a ROTC guy named Phil (G-name Luke) during that time. Then the SF guys arrived and we had to start pulling guard. The night after they arrived we were attacked by OPFOR. Baby died, and so the SF guys were ordered to dig her a 6 foot deep grave by 6 am the next morning. They didn't get any sleep that night.

There was a ton of down time during the day, and at night we went on missions. I went on a raid to a cememt factory. It was pretty cool, and the SF guys taught us room clearing tactics for it. We were issued M4's and AK-47s with blanks. During the day and at night we pulled 2 hour long guard shifts in pairs. It was very relaxed guard, and gave me time to talk to the other G's and also the SF guys.

For food we had MRE's, and then the SF guys brought us beans and rice, along with some spices. Since we had to pretend we were starving, we weren't allowed to eat the MRE's in front of the SF guys. Plus, since we had a low supply of them, we were alloted one a day. That meant I ate about 1.5 - 2 meals a day, which really wasn't that bad. Later we got live animals that we learned how to kill, skin, gut, and cook. The animals we got were rabbits, goats, geese, and a pig. I didn't do any of the killing, i couldn't handle it, but I did help skin and gut the pig. Toots and Daisy did most of the cooking. One night COL Ricco brought us marshmellows, and we roasted them over the fire.

I was suprised at how clean I managed to stay. A lot of it was due to the fact that we didn't have to wear camo or a kevlar. We were issued 2 pairs of black bdu's to wear instead of our regular bdu's. Every day I had about an hour of hygine time in the morning, and an hour or so in the evening. At our first base camp there was a river that we went to bathe in twice. I also took canteen cup showers, washed my clothes in the canteen cup, and the SF guys built us a shower were I took 2 Qt showers. The girls were allowed to take 2 real showers at a fire house across the street from the woods our second base camp was in. That first shower was after about 5 days in the field, and it was heavenly. The second shower was the day before we left. The guys didn't get to take any real showers, but they washed in the river.

I thought the whole experiance was pretty fun. Definetly a very easy MIAD. There was a lot of sitting around doing nothing, but it was what you made of it. I met some awesome people, and was trained by SF guys. It was definetly the highlight of my summer.

Quotes:
Gwen to the SF guys: "Welcome Americans." "Remove the blindfold"

Me to Lando: "Pants are a good thing!!" (he was dancing around in whitie tighties)

Luke to me: "I like you"

Magic to me: "You are going to make a good officer."

Gwen to me : "You chop wood as good as the guys"

COL Ricco to Toots: "How's my favorite girl?"

Trixie to me: "You don't know how to act like a slut."
Me to Trixie: "Maybe I can act like a slut, just let me try." (It was for a mission, I ended up giving my spot to Daisy, because Trixie was right, I don't know how and Daisy would do a much better job.)

Trixie to an SF guy: "What's a pace count"
Me to an SF guy about pace count: "What if you only have one leg?"

Toots: "The pig is loose."

Luke and Lando: "This one time at advanced camp..."

Lando: "I ate a dead bird's head"


Fun times...

The A-day parade just finished. I can't believe that I am one of the people who stands in the back wearing the red sash and carrying a saber instead of a rifle. It hasn't sunk in yet, and I don't know if it will ever sink it.

There was a SAMI this morning, but since Alyson is the CO, nobody came and inspected our room. It's nice having a couch and a mini-fridge in the room. Yay for being a Firstie. My class schedule looks much better than it has in the past, although I should probably wait until classes actually start to make that asessment. Amazingly, I only have 16.5 credits. I've never had that few. I kinda feel like I am a slacker because it is so light.

Classes:
CS484 Computer Networks
MS401 Transitoin to the Officer Corps
IT305 Theory and Practice of Military IT Systems
IT485 Spec Topic in Information Technology
IT460 Information Warfare
CS401 Software Systems Design I
PE424 Golf

I'm the Information Systems Officer for my company, and the S2 for the Crew Team. My Information Systems Sergeant, Ryan, has been amazing this past week. Since I didn't get back to school until Thursday afternoon, he has been doing all the work. I've tried to help now that I'm here, but I feel like I am really behind the power curve and trying to catch up on what is going on and what needs to get done.

Back at school. My room is a mess. I have no idea how I'm going to get it ready for a SAMI on saturday. I'd write more, but there is a new lights out policy for everyone. No lights on after midnight, not even computer screens. It's midnight now, so I must go.

I stress myself out way too easily. I'm not even back at school yet, but i'm already stressed. Set up room, clean room, get schedule, get books, TDY settelment, POV registration and inspection, and random crap.

Robin Sage was fun. I'll hopefully get around to writing about it, although every time i say I'll write about something later, I generaly don't get around to it.

This afternoon I report to SMULT. The drive down to NC was pretty nice, although it rained in MI and OH, and my tired started to leak air in WVA. Other than that, the drive was fine. I loved the hills/mountains of WVA and VA.

This is one of my favorite songs:

Lord
by Six Days From Sunday

No written word
Or polished phrase
No earthly song
That I could raise
Can bear the worship you desire
Or pick my soul out of the mire

Take down the walls around my soul
I relinquish my control
Let this fallen temple be restored
I can't do it by myself
Or turn to someone else for help
Christ you are my savior
Please be my lord.

How can these lips
That cause such pain
Bear to speak
Your holy name
How can these hands
So rough and crude
Be lifted up
In praise to you

Take down the walls around my soul
I relinquish my control
Let this fallen temple be restored
I can't do it by myself
Or turn to someone else for help
Christ you are my savior

Take down the walls around my soul
I relinquish my control
Let this fallen temple be restored
I can't do it by myself
Or turn to someone else for help
Christ you are my savior
Please be Lord.

I hate AOL. I want to get rid of it. I got it so that I could use dial-up internet when I travel, but I don't need it anymore. Canceling it is not as easy as one phone call. No, instead they, without my consent, sign me up for 2 free months, and then tell me to call back on OCT 19th to cancel. I told them over and over I did not want that, I want to cancel now. I do not have the time to deal with this and wait for OCT 19th. Do they listen, no. I was on the verge of yelling at them over the phone. AUGHHHH!

DO NOT SIGN UP FOR AOL. IT IS A SCAM.

Today I pack. Tomorrow I leave.

Outer beauty is only skin deep people, see the real me. I'm not saying this because I am ugly, I'm saying this because I'm being complemented on how I look. I do like being complemented, but I don't get those same complements when I'm wearing what I like to wear and would prefer to be in all of the time, that being a large t-shirt, comfy pants, and running shoes with my hair up, no make-up on. Those clothes give me space and freedom to move around, jump around, and run around, basically be active and do what I want, without worring about getting dirty, messing up my makeup or hair, and without feeling like the clothes are trying to constrict my movement. I can look pretty if I want to, but I'd rather be comfertable most of the time. I've noticed that when I do choose to put time into how I look, and look nice, I'm not as happy inside. Yet, when I go out in my comfy state, I'm self-concious about how I look because although that is the real me, it is not what society general says girls should look like. The obvious solution is to be happy with who I am and ignore what other people think....riiiiiiight, like that is easy to do.

The reason I didn't want to go out to dinner with Frank, was that I didn't want to have to worry about how I looked or anything. I wanted to relax, be myself, and wear my comfy clothes without being self-concious. Playing tennis was the perfect solution.

I think one of the best complements I ever recieved about how I look came from two of my aunts while I was on vacation. One evening I wore my BDU uniform for about an hour to show my relatives what it looked like, and my aunts both said to me "You look beuatiful in that uniform", and some other people agreed. At first I didn't understand, and thought it was an odd complement because I was wearing a uniform, and beauty and uniform are not two words that generally go together. I've come to grasp what they were saying a little better, after it was explained to me by everyone. The complement means so much to me because they saw something in me, as well as what I looked on the outside. I was not trying to look beatiful, in fact, that was the furthest thing from my mind, but they saw in me an inner beauty that was reflected to them on the outside while I was wearing the uniform. It was not a model's beauty, it was my beauty.

Usually I try and stay away from writing about looks. It generally makes me feel shallow, however, this one time I'll let an entry slide by.

On a different note, should I start adding titles to each post? Most people do add titles, but I never have because I don't want to spend the time trying to think of a good title. It's something I'm debating.

This morning I got up around 10:30, made strawberry pancakes, and then watched Lance Armstrong win the time trial in the Tour de France. Around 1pm Betsy and I drove over to Christian's graduation party. I came back home a few hours later and worked on a few judo moves. Frank and I had made plans to go out for dinner in the evening, but when I was driving home from the graduation party, I found that I didn't really want to go out for dinner. I still wanted to see him, but wanted to do something else besides dinner. I called him, and when I told him that I wanted to do somthing besides dinner, he suggested tennis. That sounded perfect to me, so we went and played tennis together. I took tennis as my lifetime sport last fall, but haven't touched a racket since then. Frank was about the same skill level as myself, so we were perfect partners. I won the first match, won the first 3 games of the second match, and then he came from behind and managed to win the second match, although it was close. Then I came home and made danish puff for breakfast tomorrow morning.

One night when I was around the age of six I remember going to my dad and asking him if it was considered murder for a soldier to kill someone in a war. I don't remember what he said, but his answers satisfied me and took away my concerns about dealing with that if I was a soldier.

When I was around 12 I was on a confermation retreat with my church youth group. Over the course of the weekend there was an ongoing game between the guys and the girls over water spray bottles. The girls would try and steal the guy's spray bottles and hide them, and the guys would do the same to us. One afternoon someone was in the process of stealing a spray bottle and was caugth. A big scuffle ensued in the hall, and the next week at Church I found out that in the middle of the scuffle I apparently had managed to hit a boy in the eye and had given him a black eye. When I found that out I was so distrought that I went upstairs and cried. I felt terrible for hurting him.

I am being trained in how to kill people, yet I can not even manage to kill and ant without feeling that I am being cruel. Over the years I have noticed that I can not bear seeing people hurt one another, or hurt any living thing for that matter. I don't know what a better word or term is for it, but that closest I can come up with at this time is that I do not like the offensive position*. What I mean by that is a position when action is taken for the sake of gaining the upperhand in cruel, harsh, or inhuman ways, or for senseless, power-craving, greedy reasons. To kill or hurt something just for the sake of killing or hurting it, to kill or hurt the defensless and weak, to hurt or tourture for the sake of gratifying a thirst for power or ego, to be inhuman in anyway; I despise it all and anyone who follows that route.

What I fight for, what I am willing to kill for as a soldier, what drives me, is the defensive position*. I have always wanted to be in the army because I want to defend my country and those I love against those people in the offensive position. I do not think twice about smashing a bug that is trying to bite me, or fighting off someone attacking me, as long as I do not exceed just force. I may have reservations about even killing an ant on a counter top, or a spider in a shower, but I have no problem with the idea of killing to protect and defend my country and my family, and myself from those who seek to hurt us. Hopefully that will never be required of me, but I never know, given my future occupation. What I can say is that I will not tolerate cruelty or inhuman acts in either myself or in others.

In my three years at west point, I don't believe I have ever once been taught anything different than I have said above about when and how to fight. I do not see the army, or our country, as being an offensive force, in terms of my definition. That is why I am proud that I am part of the army and have the opportunity to serve and protect my country.


* I made up my own definitions. The terms offensive and defensive are not being used like the definition of offensive and defensive for sports, or for military positions. I made up my own definitions.

So far, I've been rather productive today. This morning I got up and went for a run. Betsy and I were supposed to go out to breakfast after she went to Mass, but she was still asleep when I got back from the run, so we rescheduled the breakfast for Monday. Having some extra time on my hands, I went for a bike ride, trying to strengthen my legs for crew. After that I came back and watched the last 10 miles of the Tour de France. It was incredible. I've never been a huge fan of watching sports on tv, but I'm hooked on this. Lance Armstrong had another amazing win today that had me on the edge of my seat. At noon my dad and I had a meeting with another person about investing some of my cow loan. I'm glad that finally got done and I don't have to think about it anymore. Hopefully there won't be another great depression anytime soon. Now I'm at home again sitting around. In a little while I'm going to head over to my Grandma's house to visit her, then pick up some Jimmy John subs and go to Betsy's softball game.

I found this on another cadet's blog, and it made my sister and I laugh:

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.

PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid,
Britain for warplanes, Italy for machines,
Germany for technology, France for submarines,
Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs,
and Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim of
exploitation by the world.

AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other
to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows &
naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.

BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called
Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

SRI LANKAN ECONOMICS
You have a cow and a bull.
You let the cow be president, the bull be prime minister,
and let them blame each other for the state the country is in.

CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment,
high bovine productivity,
and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

Just a few minutes ago I recived a phone call that would probably make most people happy, but for me it was rather dissapointing. It was a CPT calling to inform me that the report date for SMULT has changed from the 25th to the 29th, meaning that I have another week at home. I do like my family and enjoy being around them, but I was looking forward to seeing my friends and getting back to doing military training. On the bright side, I can now make it to my cousin's graduation party on Saturday. I know I shouldn't complain. Some people would kill for more time off. I just need to find something to do to keep me occupied.

I think I'm allergic to something in Michigan. Every time I've been home for more than a few days in the past year my ear starts to hurt and becomes a bit swollen inside. I think it all started a year ago when I was home for a week and developed a double ear infection right before I left on my AIAD.

All engaged, all around my age/grade:
Tyler
Brian
other Brian
Jon
good Josh
Megan
Jason
Joel
Mike
Jodi
Pat
Mary
Steph
Teresa
plus at least 5-10 others I can't remeber

Finding out that my friends and classmates are now engaged makes me feel really young. I know it should be the opposite, that it should make me feel old, but it doesn't. That part of life still seems so far off to me, and when I hear that they are engaged I can't fully grasp it. I'm only 20, they are only 20-22ish, perhaps some a few years older, but none above 25. 25 I can understand, 25 seems normal (that's you heiko), but 20. I'm still growing up, trying to make it through school, maturing, figuring out who I am, not feeling grown up. Maybe it stems from the fact that I live in such a closed enviroment most of the year. Perhaps it is normal to feel this way.

Part of me is expecting that to all suddenly change when I graduate. Some magic button will be pressed, and I'll suddenly be a grown up. I'll be ready to go out on my own, be an officer, be in charge, and perhaps then not feel so young. Of course, I know that is not going to happen all of a sudden once I graduate. Over time, perhaps, but no magic button.

I remember back in middle school how I couldn't imagine myself in high school. It seemed too far away, too unfamiliar, to grown up. Now I'm 1 year away from graduating from college. It's amazing how things change. I think I'll look back on this time the same way. Life happens, whether you think it will or not.

One of the books I'm currently reading: A Severe Mercy
It's a great book, even though I am only a few chapters into it. Talk about two people being truely in love.

I've been having trouble recently when I'm trying to get to websites. I type in the address, or click on my link to it in my favorites, and am redirected to some other random site. Yesterday, my favorites link to this site was redirecting me to the UofM email login page. When I typed in the address it did the same thing. I've had that happen to me with other web pages as well, including my google homepage. They all end up at different sites. In order to get to the page I want to get to, I have to close IE and open it up again. So odd.

I made the mistake of going downtown today, the day before the Art Fair opens. No parking, and lots of detours where in store for me. Plus, I couldn't find what I was looking for to buy. Oh well. I don't think I've been to the art fair in at least 10-13 years. There is some cool stuff there, but what I remember about it from when I was little was that it was very hot, the sun was beating down on me, I was very thirsty, it was extremly crowded, and it made me very tired. Other than that it was a good time. In any case, I don't want to be tempted to pay for something that I don't need and don't have space for right now. Although, this could be the last year I have the opportunity to experiance the art fair, so perhaps I should risk it.

Grrr...the latest word on Ring Weekend is that they are moving the ring ceremony to Saturday. Some people might say I've waited 3 years for it, what's a few more hours, but to them I say "poo on you." I want my ring. I don't really care about my actual ring, although I am looking forward to getting it. What matters most to me is that it is a symbol of what I have accomplished so far over the past 3 years. I'd go into more depth, but that would be getting a bit too mushy gushy for me right now. Perhaps later when ring weekend is closer.

40 days to Ring Weekend
313 days till Graduation

Oh My Gosh, Sir/Ma'am!
What a Beautiful Ring.
What a crass mass of brass and glass.
What a bold mold of rolled gold.
What a cool jewel you got from your school.
See how it sparkles and shines?
It must have cost you a fortune.
May I touch it?
May I touch it please, Sir/Ma'am?

My prayers go out to his family in their time of loss.

Personal entry...
As much as I want to get away from civilization, what I really want is someone to talk to. I've noticed that as my time away from school has progressed, I've started talking less and less. Part of my can't wait to get back to school, because there I'm not known because of the school I go to, or anything related to it. Of course, there I also don't have someone I can totally confide in. Does anybody have someone like that, or is it just some dream I have?

I feel like I have a bunch of different masks that I wear. Each of them is trying to hide something, and make me appear better than I actually am. I'm scared that someone I who I don't want to will strip off the mask and be very dissapointed in what they find, because it is the real me. When I'm home a lot of it stems from being known as the person who goes to USMA. People introduce me as "This is ___. She goes to West Point." I don't mind that in-an-of-itself, nor do I mind the dozens of questions that usually follow about the school. In fact, I enjoy answering the questions. What bothers me is that I feel like I am expected to be more spectacular than I actually am. I don't think they want to know the truth that I suck at running, I'm not great at push-ups, although West Point is hard at times, I think a lot of people have the idea that it is more challenging than it actually is. I don't think I've done anything spectacular in my time there, I haven't jumped out of an airplane yet, nor do I have my own personal stash of weapons that I can go off and shoot whenever I want. I haven't qualified with an M16 since Beast, I haven't thrown a grenade since Beast. Academically I'm somewhere in the middle, physically and militarly I'm ranked somewhere in the middle or lower. Hazing the plebes is not my specialty, in fact I rarely do it because I'm usually busy with crew. Sure there are things that are different than a regular college, but I didn't enter West Point and suddenly turn into super woman. I'm not that great.

When I tell people about the real experiance, especially the fact that I don't have my own stash of weapons and my athletic abilities, I feel like they are dissapointed and that they expected more from me. When I'm home I don't like entering in contests or competitions with people, because I feel like they expect me to perform better than perhaps I actually can, and be good at everything. Part of it stems from me developing into a person who hates to fail, or be showed up at anything. I've become an extremely competative, or perhaps it is egotistical, person, but it goes a bit overboard to the point where I'm afraid of failure.


This past semester I have been very depressed, more so than I ever have been before. Although I know it is not logical or rational, the phrase that repeats in my mind is "You are not good enough," that going for all areas of my life. I know perfectly well that there are religious issues or matters tied in with that, in fact I can hear my Dad delivering a sermon to me about it right now and know what points he most likely would bring up, but his little sermon in my head about it does not seem to be helping.

When I try and talk to someone about what is going on with me and what I am feeling, it usually ends up backfiring. I unload too much on them, and they end up distancing themselves from me because I am too depressing. Hence, I wear masks around most people. When I open up I push people away.

"I'm not a perfect person. There's many things I wish I didn't do..."
"All you wanted was somebody who cares..."

This past week I was on vacation with my family at the lake up north. My dad's brothers and their families were up there as well, along with two other families who our families are friends with. The time up there made me think about how lucky we all are. We're able to all get together at a nice lake, stay in two very nice houses, and have a wonderful time together for a week. The biggest arguments, which were not very big at all, were the adults saying what time the fire had to be put out at night, because they wanted it to be quiet so they could sleep. One of my uncles brought his boat up, so there was a lot of tubing and waterskiing, along with some knee boarding and wake boarding. I only went tubing because I was worried about how my shoulders. A few mornings I took a kayak out and paddled around, but found it rather dull. On wednesday afternoon I rode a bike 32 miles around the lake. That was very peacefull and relaxing, even more so than when I took my car and went out on drives to try and get away from civilization. On one of my car trips I found a place to go on a short hike that also had a very nice view of some hills. My cousins along with my sister and the kids of the family friends and I, would go to the bay and hang out, then stay up late making s'mores and talking around the fire. Overall it was a very relaxing week.

Tomorrow I leave for a family vacation up north. It's the first vacation I've been on since the summer going into senior year. I'm not sure if I'll be able to water ski, but I'll at least be able to go tubing.

Earlier this week I went out to lunch with Misha, and then he gave me a tour of his work place. He works at Avacore helping develop the CoreControl system. He showed me some of the work he's been doing, and also let me try out a system. I guess it is being test out by both Army Rangers and Special Forces right now in hopes that in a few years it will be in a form avaliable for the military.

This morning I picked my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins up from the airport. I was really glad to see them again, although Isaac and Anna were practically sleeping with their eyes open because it was 6:30am, and they had just come from CA. After I dropped them off at my Grandma's house, I promptly went back home and fell asleep until 9:25 when my alarm went off. The snooze alarm was used every 8 minutes from then until around 10, when I finally made myself get up. I had to take my car back to the place I had the oil changed to make sure all the other fluids they changed were done correctly, and have them tighten the serpentine belt.

Matt and I made plans to meet for lunch at 12:30, but since I had a lot of time to spare between getting the car checked out and lunch, I decided to drive around a bit. I wanted to get away from civilization, but driving on dirt roads around farms was a close as I could get. It proved to be more refreshing than I expected, and I think that I'll do it again when I need to get away. I'm hoping that up north I can actually go hiking in some more remote areas.

Lunch was nice. It was good to see Matt again. He's a great guy. Afterwords I went to Cabela's and bought my first pair of hiking boots, as well as a pair of pants to wear while backpacking.

So far home has been relaxing. I've spent a lot of time reading and hanging out with my sisters, or at least one of my sisters. Heidi just got back from up north yesterday, and so I've only spent a little time with her. Betsy invited me to practice with her slow pitch softball team, and that has been very enjoyable. It feels great to throw a ball and swing a bat again. Her team has their first game on Thursday and I am planning on going to it.

This afternoon Betsy and I went out to buy a tennis racket so that we could play tennis after Mass and dinner, but the sporting goods store we went to was in the procces of moving, and they didn't have any tennis stuff out. Instead we looking at the athletic clothing, and I showed her what kind of clothing was good for wicking sweat away from the body. We both ended up spending a fair amount of money on athletic clothes there. I had to force myself to leave the store before I bought anything more.

Last night I tried my hand at making a strawberry-rhubarb pie. It was a bit soupy at first, but it has thickend up a bit. I think it turned out fairly well, since there is only a quarter or so of it left. Perhaps I'll make another one later.

It's amazing, although I have easy access to the home computer as well as my laptop while I am home, I spend far less time on the computer. Yesterday I didn't even touch one. Today I spent some time online researching hiking and biking trails in Michigan. The end result was that I came to the conclusion that I don't have the correct bike to go on most of the trails, and I don't have the equipment needed to go on a hiking trip. I had to resist the urge to go out and remedy the problem.

Home at last :)

I was supposed to get into Detroit around 10pm on Friday night, but my plane was delayed in North Carolina, and so I ended up missing my connection to Detroit. There wasn't another flight until 6:30 the next morning, so they put me on that flight to Cleavland, and from there on a flight to Detroit. I made it into Detroit at 10:10 am Saturday morning. The important thing is that I am finally home. Yay!

I love my jeep. It is even better than I imagined. My parents drove it to the airport so that I could drive it home. I also like all the work my parents have done on the house. They have redone all of the first floor except the family room and the bathroom. It looks very nice, and I also like having a kitchen while I am home this time.

Betsy invited me to a bonfire tonight, and so I went over there. I was able to see some of my friends from middle school, and also some of my sister's friends whom I'd met before but don't really know. The bonfire was fun, and we made s'mores. Yummy.

It's so nice to relax. Woohoo, I'm home.

This morning I woke up, and the first thought that entered my mind was "I wish I had CTLT in Korea, because then I'd be leaving today, and since Korea is a few time zones away, I'd have already left." Work today consisted of PT, and then around 9:30 they let me go and run errands I needed to do. I was able to get a box to ship home full of stuff, get a new set of dog tags, buy a new brown bdu t-shirt, and get a new pair of glasses. After lunch I went back to the pack shed, where my LT gave me a hard time for having yesterday afternoon off, and then having the mornign off to run errands. He then proceeded to let me go back to the hotel, because there wasn't anything for me to do.

1 more day :)

Yesterday I was talking to Bea-hob on IM and he asked me if there was anything that I would die for. The things that came to mind were God, family, country. He then asked me a question that really made me think. He asked me what it means to die for God, and how I translate that into everyday actions. Thinking about having to actually die for my faith is the easy part, in part because I am not currently faced with that possibilty. However, as Bea-hob reminded me, I am called to die each day for God, so to speak. How that is done is by living in Christ, not in the world. When he asked me that question I really wondered how I do die each day for Christ. I really struggle with sharing my faith, because I am worried about what other people will think. Will they think I am crazy, a hypocrite, a goody-two-shoes, someone who has no fun? Yet it shouldn't matter what other people think of me. The only one that matters is God, but so often I lose sight of that and am silent.

Totally different subject: This morning I learned how to pack a personal parachute. It was harder than I thought, and I found it much harder than packing the cargo parachutes. Since that only took the morning to do and get another tour of the pack shed, my LT let me go back to the hotel at lunch. This afternoon I went and saw The Stepford Wives. I wouldn't really recommend the movie. It was pretty strange.

2 days left :)

Friends away message who is a PL for Beast: " today will be a significant emotional event for 1237 of the nation's brightest young people.....R-Day 2004. the hatred for 08 is super high right now"

I can't wait to get home, get away from everything, and be on vacation. It'd also be really nice to go backpacking away from everything again. Perhaps that is my new mode of escape. I love being out in the woods away from civilization, surrounded by hills or mountains, sleeping under the stars, or in a makeshift shelter, being able to be comfertable in silence with friends as we hike, preparing food over a hiking stove or a fire, collecting water from a stream, sitting on a rock outcropping watching the sun set, seeing for miles on the hill tops, being worried only about porcipines attacking at night, and getting away from daily trials, struggles, and problems. However, I don't think I'd enjoy backpacking if the pace had to be fairly fast in order to accomplish a certain distance, or get to a certain point. I need time to unwind and relax and go at my own pace.

I've found I have a love for hills and mountains, but along with that, or in addition to that, I have a love of clouds and the sky. There are so many times I wish I had a camera with me that could capture the majestic clouds and beauty of the sky. Whether they are wispy strands of clouds strung out like strands of cotten, or huge billows piled on each other like cotten balls stacked in the sky, I find them awe inspireing. When the sun is setting and it casts a pink and yellow hue throughout the sky, it almost takes my breath away. The beauty of the sky constently reminds me of God and how awesome he is. He created the sky and the clouds. He made the sun sets. He is the true artist.

I've seen a few little bumper stickers around post that say "Army wife, the toughest job in the Army." Although I am still really young, and have a while before I have to really think about it, for years I've wondered about the women who are both Army wives and Army soldiers, because it is likely that I will someday end up in that catagory. They have to care for their family, and care for their soldiers. How do they manage? I'm always on the lookout for role models in that area. I just realized that here at Fort Bragg I have a unique oportunity to see how many women wear both titles of mother, wife, and soldier in dual military families. Both my sponser and company commander even fall in that cataory. Now that I've realized that, perhaps I can get some advice from them about it.

Less than a week left. I've learned some good stuff during CTLT, like the role of a platoon leader. Yesterday I had an office call with COL Hudson, who is the COSCOM commander. He gave me some good advice about being a soldier, officer, leader, and person. Hopefully I'll actually be able to remember it.

I talked to Misha yesterday, and he said he would probably be able to help me out with the mini-boot camp. He loves the army, and is even considering using the army as means to medical school, or something like that. I can't wait to hang out with him again.

My car is ready to be picked up, which means it will be waiting for me at my house when I get home next week. Yay!

I was mistake for a rigger this morning by some of the soldiers. We were packing flight bags to be airdropped at Fort Irwin, and I was showing them how do to it, because I learned yesterday, and since we had all taken off the bdu tops and were just in brown t-shirts, name and ranks were not visible. Once or twice they refered to me as "rigger." I had to tell them that I wasn't, and that I was just a cadet. They then asked me a lot of questions about being a cadet. Although a lot of them don't quite understand how it works, because they are conviced I'm here trying to figure out what MOS I want. Even though I don't really want to branch quatermaster, I think if I do somehow end up in the branch I want to be in a rigger unit.

It's been half a year since I've seen my sisters, but I'm going to get to see them in a few days. Yay! I guess this is kinda getting me ready for the future when it will be a year before I see my family again when I am deployed. This morning I remembered that Berry won't be there when I get home. That made me very sad thinking about her being gone, and how it will be different without her in the house when I get there.

Having had some extra time on my hands with nothing better to think about, I've started day dreaming about something. I think it would be cool to run a 1-day mini-boot camp for kids at my church, or other kids who'd be intersted, while I'm home. What I've thought about is teaching things like low-crawling, high-crawling, 3-5 second buddy rushes, and a little drill and ceremony. Throughout it I'd stress the importance of having a ranger buddy at all times, having self-disciplne, and respect for both people and equipment. This evening I searched online and found toy M16 rifles for around $8.00 each, 1 Qt canteens for under $2.00 each, and woodland camo baseball caps for $5.00 each. I figure that if I actually could get this thing to work, it'd cost about $15 per kid. I'd lose some money on it, but that way the cost would not be too daunting for anyone interested, plus the kids would come away with some cool gear, although it'd be imitation. It's just a dream, but it gives me something to think about, and it'd be really cool if I actually could get it to happen.

Due to a lack of anything better to do, I now have a very good uniform, especially my boots. I'll never be satisfied by the shine on my boots, but I'm getting better at it. First I start out with a good base of regular black shoe polish. I shine it as best as I can with that with a cloth. After I've got a good shine with the regular shoe polish, I add a top coat or two of lincoln wax black shoe polish. That makes the shine even more brilliant. After a few coats of that, I top it all off with Seal-a-shine. I discovered it at General Jackson's the other day. It's a liquid that "enhances and protects your shine, and serves as an excellent base for your next shine." I then edge dress the edges of the soles of the boots. The result is a shiny, black boot.

Today was another semi-interesting day. PT this morning was supposed to be combatives, but instead we did a regular muscle failure workout while in bdu's and boots. I then showered at the gym, drove to the pack shed, ate my breakfast, and read the Bible. At 9 I went into the pack shed to begin the work day. The morning I spent with the parachute maintanece guys learning how to patch a parachute, trying my hand at a little sewing, and then watching the guys sew for the rest of the morning. I was tempted to ask them if they ever thought that they would spend their time in the army sewing. For lunch I drove over to the mini-mall, parked my car, ate lunch and read some more of The Princess Bride, and then took a 30 min nap. At 12:45 I headed back to the pack shed, and entered it at 1pm. I spent the afternoon learning how to pack a 100 ft diameter, G-11 parachute. It has a load capacity of 5,000 lbs. Yesterday I learned how to pack the G-12 parachute, which is only 64 ft in diameter. My knife has come in very handy the past few days in the pack shed. There are tons of cords and strings that need to be cut when packing the parachutes. At 5 I headed back to the hotel. Yesterday I went over to Matt's and did a load of laundry, and he said I could do another load today at either his or Julia's place, but I'm feeling to lazy this evening to drive across town to do laundry. I'll wait till another day, or come up wtih $2.50 in quaters and do it here.

I'm liking this week more than the previous weeks because I get to actually do some stuff, plus interact a lot more with the soldiers. I didn't like the fact that before I barely even saw any of the soldiers in the platoon. Now these soldiers are actually teaching me how to do their job, plus I can ask them a ton of questions and get to know what it is like for them, and they have a lot of questions for me. Hopefully they won't lose all of their respect for me tomorrow at PT when they see how bad of a runner I am.

This past week has been fun. I did the 10-mile race on Thursday and managed to run the whole way, although the last few miles were extremely slow, I spent a ton of time with John, Matt, and Julia, and spent hardly any time sitting bored in my hotel room. Matt took John and I to the special forces museum and the 82nd Airborne museum on Friday. On Saturday we went to General Jackson's, which is an awesome store, and they helped me pick out my first knife. I say first because although I have had Swiss Army Knives, and Gerber multi-tool things, this is my first good, single blade, no tools attached, knife. Hmm, I guess that would sound a little strange to anyone who isn't in the military or know anything about it. Knives are very useful, especially out in the field, for cutting rope, opening MRE's, whitteling wood during bored briefings, and flipping open and shut just for fun. Anyway, I ended up with a Spyderco knife, becuase John said some of his friends had them and they didn't have to sharpen them for 2 years. I've gotten a lot better at opening and closing it single handed. Don't worry Mom, I'm being safe.

This coming week the Battalion Commander is switching me to a Rigger unit so that I can experiance a wider range of what the Quartermaster Corps has to offer. I'm both glad and not so glad. I was getting used to the fact that there wasn't much to do before, and now I don't know what to expect. I also have to adjust to a new company. In any case, it should be a good experiance.

I'm looking forward to getting home and having some time with my family. Happy Fathers Day Dad :)

Being able to hang out with John, Matt, and Julia in the evenings has made a world of difference. Matt and Julia are two LTs in Johns company. Yesterday they had a night airborne operation, and so John invited me to go along to see them jump and then pick them up. Since we didn't have to be at the drop zone until 11pm, we hung out before hand. We went out to dinner and then stopped by a store so I could pick up stuff to make butterscotch brownies, because I'd been craving those. Since John is staying at Matt's house, and Matt is a bachlor, I didn't expect to find any real baking supplies there, and I was right. When I was about halfway through making the brownies I couldn't find the flour or the baking powder. I remembered buying them, but they weren't in the house and they weren't in the car. It turns out that I left an entire bag of supplies at the checkout. Needless to say, the brownie batter ended up going down the sink :( Hopefully I'll be able to make them tonight.

After that we watched a movie and proceeded to have a drawn out pillow fight throught the course of the movie. It turned into him trying to use combative moves on me since he had just had the class that year. I had it two years ago, and so I didn't remember the moves as well, or how to get out of them, and ended up having to tap out a few times. It was good exercise though, which I counted as my PT for today even though it was the night before. I got back from the jump around 2:30am, and so I was excused from PT in the morning.

Tomorrow I'm running in the Army Birthday 10-miler. I've run 7 miles before, but I don't think I've run 10 at one time. I'm not that nervous because it is not something that I have to finish in the certain time. My goal is just to finish, especially since I have not been running a ton.

Friday is another day off. Yay :)

This weekend turned out pretty well. A downpayment was put down on a car, I went to a BBQ, I went to Church, and I made some friends. The BBQ was held by the West Point Parents Club around here. I got there pretty late, but still had a chance to talk to some old grads who have decided to write to the Comm about the living situation the cadets are in here at Fort Bragg. I'm not complaining about that.

I'd say today was the highlight of the week. I found an LCMS Church online that is in Fayetteville, so I decided to go there this morning. It took me much longer that it should have to get there because I made a lot of wrong turns. Perhaps later I'll write about a lesson I've been learning. Anyway, it was really nice to go to Church again, because I haven't been in a few weeks. After the service I noticed one of the ushers was wearing a sports jacket with a West Point crest on it plus a ring, so I asked him what class he was. It turns out he was class of '55. We talked for a few minutes, and I felt much better about having found some little connection at the Church.

Later in the day I realized that I'd forgotten to turn my cell phone back on after church, and so when I turned it on I had a message from Anthea. I'd talked to her on Saturday and we'd discussed how both of us didn't really know anybody else on CTLT, and so life was pretty boring. It turns out her ex-boyfriend, who she is still really good friends with, is at bragg for CTLT and also happens to be rather bored. She called and left me his cell phone number and told me to call him if I was ever bored and wanted to go out. About 15 minutes later I got a phone call, and it was the guy, John. Anthea had given him my number as well, and so he decided to call me. We ended up going and seeing Troy, although John had already seen it once. He's a very nice guy, and it sure beat another night sitting in my room. He's staying at his sponser's house which is closer to post, and so I met his sponser as well. They invited me to go over to their house anytime, and also invited me to go bowling with them on Tuesday, and also to do stuff on Friday. It's so nice to finally have people to do stuff with here.

YAY! I'm getting a car. It's a black 1998 Jeep Cherokee. :)

One of my friends from school has invited me to alaska for a few days this summer. I think it would be awesome to go because I am very interested in seeing the state, but time is a problem. I don't know how well it would work into my schedule with everything else. I really hope to go there sometime, because so far it sounds like the perfect place. Not humid, lots of mountains, scenic, northern lights, and a bit of an untamed feel. Perhaps I'll try and post there.

It's raining outside right now with a bit of a thunderstorm :)

Friday morning I slept in till 11:30am. I haven't slept in that late in months. In fact, I don't remember the last time I slept in that late. Thursday morning I woke up at 7:30am on my own. Sleep patterns sure change fast.

This evening I attended a Hail and Farewell for the battalion that I'm with. It was pretty boring, although the food was okay. Basically all the officers and E7s and above were there. The captain sitting next to me was trying to convince to get a beer. Riiiiiight, like that's going to happen.

I finally got my rental car tonight. It is a silver toyota highlander. So far I love it, although I've only had a chance to drive it home from the airport. Yay for the freedom a car brings:)

No more wisdom....teeth. I had my top two wisdom teeth removed today, and they probably would have done the bottom two as well, except those ones never formed. The event has turned my 3 day weekend into a 5 day weekend, although today is going to be spend in bed probably sleeping and trying to avoid drooling blood stains on the sheets. What fun what fun for everyone, and a man to be eaten by a lion. That last sentence is a line I had in my second grade play, but I figure the first half is appropriate at least.

Great news! My rental car orders finally came in. Tomorrow I go and pick up my car. I could go tonight, but I got back from the airborne operation kinda late, and I have no transportation out to the airport. Plus, I have a million other things to do, like laundry, ironing, dinner, sleep, etc... I'm so happy :)

It's all the pain of strep throat, without the sickness. Yes, my wisdom tooth is finally making itself very evident. Tomorrow I'm hopefully headed in to get it looked at. As far as I can tell, I believe it is coming in sideways sticking out into my cheek. I'd be optimistic and say it'll get better, but since it gets worse as the tooth comes in more, I'm thinking I'll try and get it removed and not have to deal with it. Really, I don't mind it that much. It's better than being actually sick, or any numerous other things.

In other news, the airborne operation today was awesome. I had no idea so much went into one. I was in the Battalion Commander's humvee and he made sure that I got to see the cool stuff. I was allowed onto the C-17 with the safteys before take-off, and handed out earplugs to the soldiers on the plane. Then, I got to go to the drop zone, and actually be right on the drop zone as they parachuted down. We were so close that the humvees had to be running every time and we had to stand out of the way of them in case one of them was in the way of a soldier landing. The first one landed about 25 meters from where we were. It was so cool seeing them drop straight overhead.

Friday is a national day of mourning for President Reagen, so the big question of the week is "does that make it a training holiday?" So far I've heard both that it is, and that it is not. Guess I'll find out sometime.

I love my parents :)

Today was a better day than last week. It started out with a 4 mile run, where I once again realized how out of running shape I really am. The only thing that will take is more running. The rest of the morning was spent in the motorpool. In the afternoon I took a range control class, which was pretty easy and took up 2 hours. After that the day was basically over because I just followed my LT around base while she did different LT type things. Tomorrow I get to ride with the Battalion Commander and view an airborne operation. I'm hoping that I get to do the ruck march in the morning for PT. On Thursday I'm going to the range to qualify again on an M16. That should be cool because I'll get a chance to use my left eye, which has become my dominate I in the last 2 years. On Friday I'm going to dental sick call to get one of my wisdom teeth looked at. I thought it was coming in fine, but in the past few days I've found that it is coming in at an angle and started to hurt my cheek.

I've discovered a new way to work on my hand-eye coordination. In order to be able to go to the bathroom I must first be able to catch and smash the 6 or so mosquitoes flying around in the tiny space. My roommate and I finally discovered the way they were getting into the room, the bathroom ceiling. We covered up what we thought was the hole because it was the one that light was coming through, but they have discovered another one today. Perhaps I'll start keeping a tally of the number I kill each day. I think I'm around 8-10 today so far.

I hope John is back and has good news about my orders for a car.

Thanks to Heidi, my list of books to read, or read again in most cases is:
-The Princess Bride
-some book that has Lethal Poison, or maybe it's Deadly Poison, or perhaps I'm compeltely off in the title, but it's another one she suggested.
- Any other books people suggest. Sorry Heidi if I forgot some other books. Can you tell me again what they were if I missed any, and feel free to keep the suggestions coming.

Things to do tonight, in no particular order:
- find John and ask him about the orders
- i hope, i hope, i hope, rent a car
- call my LT
- email angelo saying I'll go the the bbq
- call parents
- call Frank
- do laundry
- read
- sleep

I miss Joe Bear :(

One weekend down, a few more to go. This weekend was spent sleeping, reading, watching a ton of tv, and sitting by the pool. Although it sounds fun at first, it gets pretty boring. Hopefully my orders to rent a car will come tomorrow and life will improve. There's not much else to write about.

Yay! I'm online again :) Fayetville is pretty boring right now. I've been spending a ton of time reading and watching tv. I'm almost out of books to read, and getting very tired of tv and my room. Hopefully things will improve soon.

Backpacking this past weekend in the Catskills with Leah and Celio was a lot of fun. I think it was just what I needed. There were a lot of people out on some of the trails because of the Memorial Day holiday, but there was still the feeling of being away from everything, a place of solitude, and no phones, tv's, computers, mirrors, or worries about what other people thought. Besides one or two scares with wild animals at night, it was pretty unevenful. We saw a wolf...but he was on a leash. It was nice getting our water from streams, setting up a shelter at night with ponchos instead of a tent, sleeping on the ground, eating cambells soup with rice and either peanuts or tuna added, and not showering for three days. I am serious with I saw I really enjoyed it. It was nice to shower once we got back, but I didn't mind the time in between because none of us cared.

The weekend was a lot more fun than camping the week before, because there wasn't the worry about being bored, I dind't feel like I had to talk at all, we all were just kinda lost in our thoughts a lot of the time. Some of the views were awesome. I really liked the fact that it felt like real camping, not like the fake camping last weekend. That was fun to spend time with those friends, but it wasn't what I needed as a vacation. I came back almost feeling more exhausted last weekend than when I had left. This weekend I came back feeling much more rejuvenated, and I also felt like I got a lot more exercise this weekend. Hiking all day can make you sore.

Tomorrow I leave fore CTLT, the unknown. After that I have a few weeks at home, and then I'm off again to Fort Bragg for SMULT. I'm hoping it will be one of the best summers I've ever had.

Woohoo! I have 3 strips and black shields on my shoulders now :)

It's cute, the plebes are too excited to sleep. Tomorrow they finally get promoted. Almost all of the firsties are awake as well, but taps for them was only 10 minutes ago. I'll finally be a firstie, but sleep for me will be no problem at all tonight. I'm really tired and can't wait to get to bed.

Tomorrow I'm going back packing with Leah and Celio in the Catskill Mountains till Monday. Should be a good time.

Last night at West Point for 2.5 months.

Yes, I do like spending $1030 on plane tickets....wait, no I don't. Carlson Wagonlit told me I was taking a bus down to Fort Bragg for CTLT, but apparently there is no said bus, which I found out today. I therefore just spent approxemtly $1030 on plane tickets from Newark to RDU for Wendesday, and then a month later from RDU to Detroit. Had I had time to think rationally, I could have used United instead of Continetal and flown into Fayetville, NC, which is much closer to where I need to be, but I called Continental first and so I'm ending up flying into an airpot about 75 miles from my final destination. It will all work out somehow. The flight was only a small part of the stress accumulateing due to CTLT. I am not 100% sure what branch I am going to be with, I have no clue what unit, I have no contact information except for one LT inviting a bunch of cadets who will be at Bragg to a BBQ on the 12th, I have no clue where I'll be staying on post, and I don't know my way around post or have my own method of transportation. This is all so very reminicent of last summer and trying to figure out details for my AIAD, except this time I have even less information to work with. My new motto "Trust God and things will work out somehow." I have a feeling that there will be many more times in my life where I am in a situation like this, have very little or no information, and have to wing it on my own.

My sister is, as of today, the great age of 23. Happy Birthday Betsy!

It's wierd how Betsy is 23 and Heidi is 24, yet they seem so much older to me. I have friends who are their ages, but my friends seem so much younger because I put them on my level. My sisters seem much more mature and sensible. The same goes for my sister's friends. Will my sisters always seem 10 years older than they actually are to me? I really admire both of my sisters. They are awesome people, and kinda my mini-role models in some ways.

Things left to do, in no particular order:

meet Amanda for lunch
go to C-store
DX ruck frame
pack bag for CTLT
pack ruck for SMULT
strip bed
pack computer away
finish packing room away
find info out about CTLT
turn in rifle
wish Betsy a Happy Birthday
spend time with friends

Yesterday Anne and I went out on opps to get her car inspected to meet NY state insurance requirements. She'd gotten directions from one of the guys in her company, but we couldn't find one of the roads and ended up driving for about 2 hours looking for the place. The good part is that now we know our way around the area a lot better than before. When we were driving back in Washington Gate the guard asked for our ID's as usual, and then as we were about to drive off he said "You have beautiful green eyes." I was not really paying attention to him and assumed he was talking to Anne, but as we pulled away she said "he said that to you." We argued about who he said it to because she said she had blueish eyes and that he was looking at me, and I had just assumed he was saying it to her. I finally came up with the solution that there was a person sitting between us that we couldn't see, but who the guard apparently thought had beautiful green eyes. I hope that extra person in the car didn't mind the extra hours of driving around lost.

This morning was my last parade as a rifle bearer. Tomorrow I don't have to carry anything, and after that I'll have a saber. Yay!

Why do 80's styles have to be coming back? I was trying to forget that decade of fashion faux pas.

Everday this week feels like a Comm's Saturday because we're done with classes, but we still have stuff to do in the mornings. This week is better than regular classes because once drilling and parading are over in the morning, there are no more mandatory events. The firsties have it the worst. I overheard one of them saying that they hadn't been able to sit down for more than 15 minutes since they woke up, and 10 of those minutes were for breakfast. I should add that breakfast formation was at 4:55am this morning, so they have been up for a while. There are a ton of rehersals and other mandatory events for them, on top of trying to move everything out. I am really looking forward to finally being a firstie, but now that I've heard them saying that grad week sucks, I'm not looking forward to this time next year as much. I'm still hoping that the fact that I'll be graduating will outweigh anything else.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETSY!

Who am I around people? Around those who I am not very good friends with, I feel like I show one side of myself, and then to my close friends I show another side. There is the side of me that tries hard not to complain, especially around others, because I believe that ends up making the attitudes worse, and thus the situation worse. But, then there is the side of me that spills my troubles to my close friends, and recently that pile of troubles has seemed enormous. I guess I seem to come up with a new one every day, or perhaps twice a day. Unfortuantly, most of my sharing of my troubles has landed on one person, and I've driven them somewhat away, when what I've really wanted to do was to become closer to them. It really hurt when I realized that I was getting the same treatment from them that I was giving, undeservingly, to another one of my close friends. It hurt realizing they were doing it to me, and it also really hurt realizing it was exactly what I was doing to someone else. I'd been distant and non-talkative to one person, and one person had been that way towards me.

This whole mess leaves me wondering where to draw a line in my life in when, where, how, and how much to share my troubles, and when to keep them to myself. I don't like talking about them, in person that is, to people I don't know very well, but I need to stop sharing them as much with some people. I'm tempted to try and act like nothing ever bothers me, that I am always happy, a paste a permenant smile on my face, around everyone, be they close friends or not, but that is not the real me.

A summer away I think will do me a lot of good, but I'm having a hard time with the fact that it is a whole summer away. When I really want something I tend to go after it with everything I've got until I reach that goal. I can't accept quiting or giving up. A very small example was one time I had a certain dvd I wanted to see so I decided to go and rent it. The store had them all rented out, so I drove to another one nearby. They didn't have it either, so I drove to a store to see if I could buy it. That store din't have it, so I then proceeded to drive across to the other side of the city to stores over there to see if they had it and I could buy it. I don't think they had the movie either, but by that time I'd spent a few hours searching for it and was out of stores to go to. While I was searching for it I felt this need to continue one till I found it. I couldn't sit still or stop until then. What is bad is that I often try that approach with friendships/relationships, and push to try and become closer friends. However, that is probably the worst approach, and ends up driving the friendship apart. I keep repeating that mistake.

I used to post everything here, and use this to spill my troubles, but now I limit myself to only certain ones and types. I want a way to share them with someone so that I don't keep them all bottled up, but not overwhelm anyone and not fall into a trap of troubles builiding upon troubles. I also alot of times just want and ear to listen to me and arms to give me a hug when needed. I also don't want it to just be me always talking about myself. Here all I do is talk about myself because that is what I have this blog for, me. It annoys me when, in person, all someone talks about is themself, and I hate it when I find myself doing that.

I think I have a mini-stomach virus. I've felt kinda sick since Sunday night and it hasn't gone away. I'll feel fine for awhile, and then it will hit me and I'll be doubled over again. I won't go into any more details.

Yesterday I spent about 8 hours working on stuff for the crew banquet. 5 of those hours were spent in the basement of Thayer working on the finishing touches for the program and place cards. It looks like it will be a pretty fun banquet this year.

I found a place to stay instead of transiet barracks for my 3 nights between graduation and CTLT. The S's are letting me stay at their hous, which is very nice of them. I hope I can manage to stay out of the way.

I got my PL300 grade back today and found out that I got an A on the TEE, which also happened to be the second highest grade in my section. The highest was an A+. The A raised my grade in the class to a B+. My final grade breakdown for the semester is as follows:

CS350	A-
PL300	B+
MS302	B+
HI302	B-
CS385	C+
CS403	C
CS380	C

The semester turned out better than I thought it would, which I can only attribute to God being very merciful and the tons of prayers I recieved from friends and family. I'm so glad those classes are over and I never have to deal with them again. CS350 was actually pretty fun, which is probably why that was my best grade. I also enjoyed PL300 because my teacher was awesome and made the class interesting, hence the reason it is my second highest grade.

On a completly different subject, anyone who thinks that cadets actually like drilling and parading is crazy and has never endured the torture themselves. I once read an article somewhere where the author actually made the claim that cadets enjoyed it, and had actually organized a parade for someone. I really hope the author was being sarcastic. I understand that a parade may look nice, and it is a little nice to march in front of people and have them be amazed, but the hours of drilling that goes into one parade, especially during grad week, makes it torture. I also think is has to be boring watching parades. After you've seen one, you've seen them all. Brigade reviews must be especially boring to watch, because it's 30 minutes of the cadets who all look the same, marching in front of you. What is even worse is being in 4th regiment and knowing that the people in 1st regiment will already be taking their showers by the time you finally get to march off the plain. I admit, I'm a bit bitter right now due to the hours of drill and parading we'll have to endure everyday this week. Today was an easy day with drill only lasting 1.5 hours, having it only be double regimental, and only having to go through the whole parade 3 times. Once the brigade drill starts, the real torture begins. I apologize if I just hurt anyone's image of cadets at West Point. I came here thinking drill would actually be fun and enjoyable. That thought lasted about a day.

This evening I started the packing up process for the summer. The first step was to clean out my trunks and my trunk room locker. I threw out tons of trash. My trunks and desk contained about 4 meduim trashcan size trash bags, while my trunk room locker contained 2 huge trashbags worth of trash. A lot of it was paper and binders. I also threw out some books, although I didn't really want to. I don't like throwing out books because I always feel like I am wasting them, but right now space is more important.

My desk is currently a mess, at least on the surface. The drawers are completly empty,save for a pen or two. The area around my desk is also a complete mess, as well as the majority of the rest of the room. Alyson packed a lot of her stuff last week because she has mini-buckner, and now Jillian and I are starting our packing. I think a tornado would have left the room cleaner.

My main problem is going to be my books. I have a ton of books, and a lot of them I don't want to get rid of. At least half of them are CS books, and my fear is that if I throw them away I'll need them later on when I am working on a project. I don't have space for all of them, plus altogether they are really heavy. Oh well.

I managed to pass all of my exams, and actually raised my grade in all of my CS classes. My lowest grade ended up being a C, and my highest grade was an A-. I'm still waiting on my PL300 grade, but I'm guessing that will be either a B or a B+. I'm so glad my classes are through for the semester and I never have to take CS380 or CS385 again. My class schedule for next year looks awesome since I dropped down to an FOS and got to choose classes I'm interested in.

TEE leave was fun. I went camping with Amanda, Adam, and Alicia. I think I should change my name to one that starts with an A because the people I tend to hang out with the most have names that begin with A. Odd. My dad also came up for 2 nights on his way home from a buisness trip. It was really nice to see him again. The only downside of the weekend was it rained every night. We managed to stay relatively dry, but there was some dampness. We made a fire every night and made s'mores and other good stuff. It was a lot of fun. Yesterday we went and saw Shrek 2, which is a hilarious movie. It's just as good as the first one, if not better.

Tomorrow morning is a fun fun brigade run. I'm hoping for a thunderstorm, but of course that never happens. One time it did rain, but since there was no thunderstorm we still ran. Actually, I prefer running in the rain when it comes to running in formation. It adds a bit of cynicism which actually helps make the run better because we all are cynical together.

My teacher for CS385 is the anti-christ in disguise. For the TEE he too out his metal baseball bat and said "I'm going to beat you within an inch of your life with this thing for the next 3.5 hours. Don't worry, it will be lots of fun. I love doing this and you should to. Here, have a little piece of candy in the middle so that you don't die half way through. That way I can keep beating you for the full 3.5 hours. What? You don't enjoy this and spend every waking minute thinking of how you can be beat up even more? Let me try hitting you a little harder with the bat to see if that helps the motivation."